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Quote# 10140

I have had urge to clean house literally also...so it's not messy when people come in and we are gone.
What about getting rid of Disney movies and video games...does that stuff disqualify me from going in the RApture ?
I wonder about that...Also did you know that the Movie 'Shrek" when said backwards...as in backward masking says...."CURSE?"

Shaloma, Rapture Ready 32 Comments [3/14/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 9
WTF?! || meh
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Ens

Let me try fundy logic.

Did you know that Shaloma when said backwards...as in backward masking says....\"AMOLISH\", which is vaguely similar to demolish, which is what happened to the twin towers on 9/11? Clearly, the terrorist strikes were foretold of in the holy bible.

3/14/2006 9:25:31 PM

David D.G.

Do Disney movies and videogames \"disqualify [you] from going in the Rapture\"?

Evidently the Rapture is like a contest now with obscure fine-print rules:

\"Rapture is not open to employees of Satan Inc. or its subsidiaries, or to anyone who happens to own any Disney products, no matter how innocuous, or to residents of New Jersey. Rapture is void where prohibited by law.\"


~David D.G.

3/14/2006 9:49:56 PM

miri_rose

Enes:
Continuing with your fundy logic -
Did you know that when you say Shaloma backwards, it sounds like a drunk person saying Amalek? Shaloma is clearly an evil proto-nazi!

3/14/2006 10:17:00 PM

glyptodon

David D.G.: Haha, yeah, that's sort of what I was imagining. An angel comes down and surveys their lives and their very souls. \"Devout believer in the Lord? Check. Life of service and holy devotion to Jesus? Check. Strong in faith? Check. Okay, they're good to go. Wait a minute. What's that? Tsk. A Mulan video. Fry in the Tribulation, sinner!\"

3/14/2006 11:31:22 PM

CousinTed

All I could think of when I read this was: \"Jesus is coming! Hide the weed, man!

3/14/2006 11:39:16 PM

StandardDeviant

Get this though - When you read the Bible backwards, it's revealed that a DOG created the universe!

3/14/2006 11:44:59 PM

The Last Conformist

Actually, it's only \"curse\" backwards if you mispronounce it as \"Sruk\", like some illiterate redneck.

3/14/2006 11:47:22 PM

TT13

And Nemo backwards is OMEN... Aaaaaahhh!

3/15/2006 12:37:13 AM

Julian

And if you run Jesus' life backwards, he runs round taking fecal suppositories, suffering from bullimia, killing people like Lazarus then giving them leprosy, turning wine into water, getting a mountain of fishes and turning them into a handful and only giving them to one little boy.

Generally getting stupider and stupider and feebler and feebler until he dves feet first into Mary causing her enormous pain.

3/15/2006 12:47:40 AM

Zipperback

Shrek's name is, almost certainly, taken from the German word \"schreck\" (pronounced the same), meaning (as a noun) alarm, fright or (as an adjective) fearsome, alarming. I think it's related to the english word \"shriek\".

Stupid fundies, running around looking for backwards messages and bible codes when the answer is just one lingual category over.

3/15/2006 2:33:23 AM

ezra

Julian that is possibly the funniest shit i've read in 2006. And David D.G., of course they can make up rules for rapture, they made rapture up in the first place.


3/15/2006 2:36:44 AM

Maronan

Oh no! The Rapture's coming! I'd better get my tinfoil hat and iron chariot!

3/15/2006 3:11:39 AM

JustinGG

Yes, I'm afraid it does disqualify you, but thanks for playing \"Boy am I dumb!\"

3/15/2006 2:10:12 PM

King Spirula

Yeah and love backwards is evol and god backwards is dog and jesus backwards is susej (which sounds sexual) and eye backward is eye and what are the odds of THAT! And she is worried her house might be messy when she gets raptured and strangers might come in and see it?? That, alone, should disqualify her.

3/15/2006 5:07:32 PM

DoctorX

Well God, I lived my life virtuously, I never harmed a living soul, and I gave half of my salary to charity every year! I'm ready for my eternal reward!

\"Really, did you watch Beauty and the Beast?!

Well, yeah. It was a great-

*trap door opens*

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

3/15/2006 9:19:04 PM

Caphi

I suppose that last bit about Shrek MIGHT work, but only if you're Sean Connery.

3/16/2006 12:57:57 AM

Julian


KS.

The bible says an eye for an eye and a tooth for a htoot

Shaloma,
emarf tnuc dedrater uoy kcid ym kcus

3/16/2006 2:31:42 AM

Jaded_Revenge

I'm imagining this person throwing away all her childrens dvds/games because she won't get into heaven if she own's childrens films...

\"Shaloma, for believing that Jesus was my only sun and that he gave his life... blah blah blah... I have granted you eternal life in heaven... Wait a second, it appears you owned a film titled shrek, which can be pronounced as curse backwards, for this attrocity I send you to hell for all eternity\"

3/17/2006 11:47:51 AM

NotMe

Unfortunatly, this stupidity is proclaimed by the EO (Evangelisch omroep --> Christian television network) in the Netherlands.

You can not watch the following movies/shows because they are evil and can be explained to be evil by portraying god and the bible etc etc and more of thsi crap:

- Snowwhite (Oh no, ah witch, BURN THE WITCH!)
- Bambi (Seriously, I can't begin to suspect how this can be evil)
- The Lion King (God dies becuase the devil tricks him or something like that crap)
- Finding Nemo (uhmm?)
- Mulan (Dragon anyone?)
- Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles
- Power Rangers

etc etc

... and they expect to be taken serious?


3/24/2006 8:25:49 PM

shykid

!edisnooM ot emocleW

1/4/2013 3:52:38 AM

Swede

But, doesn't God already know you have those movies? He's supposed to be omnipresent, isn't he?

When I say Shrek backwards, it sounds like Kersh.

1/4/2013 4:39:31 AM

Nowonmai

Shrek backwards would sound like "curs" as in dogs. You really had too much time on your hands again, didn't you?

1/4/2013 5:13:58 AM

rubber chicken

Why am I hearing this post in a Valley Girl voice ?

1/4/2013 5:23:27 AM

Canadiest

And did you know if you played speaking in tongues recordings backwards it's still complete bullshit?

1/4/2013 6:48:16 AM

Beezlebub

Joke's on you Shaloma

My favorite movie is "Step on no pets"!

8/4/2013 12:01:40 AM
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