Quote# 101895

Sex is Not Enjoyable

It is often suggested that the act of sex is enjoyable. This is a great mistake committed by those already initiated into this painful and strip-mining ritual.

Sex like any of the great sins was on its first occurence the cause of nausea and traumatic surprise. Like a boy gulping down his first beer, he doesn't know whether to vomit or to pretend harder that his dizzy head is happy. Smokers will often tell you that their first cigarette was nauseating, and that only with persistence did they eventually like the act. What happens is that when we first try a great sin, it sends all kinds of warning messages to our bodies. We react with reversion. All the pain and suffering associated with that sin can be felt at first. But after several tries, the negative effects of the sin are clouded by the addictive effects of it. Eventually addictive desire drowns out our "blue balls," our nausea, our headache, our feeling of shame and guilt, and the desire to try, try, try again takes over.

boyOur parents or family may have tried to have us sip a beer or cocktail when we were kids. You could remember the feeling if it happened to you. You wanted to vomit it up - you hated it. I remember when I found out that beef was dead cow, and my grandmother scolded me, and I cried and cried. I remember in school how the boys wanted their own area and felt the girls might pass some disease along to them. In kindergarten we had a blue side and a red side, and the students themselves worked to keep themselves separate. I remember our parents wishing we'd watch TV with them, but we were unwilling because there were kissing scenes which nauseated us.

Why is it we could feel so averse then, but willingly corrupt ourselves later?

Just remember, brothers, that if you didn't like something as a kid - if a kid wouldn't do something for fun, then you shouldn't do it for fun now. How else, then would we regain our childhood innocence, purity, and capacity for unbridled joy?

*****The KBH*****

Knights of Banjo Hollow, Knights of Banjo Hollow 38 Comments [7/6/2014 2:14:35 PM]
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"Knights of Banjo Hollow"

Sure that's not Poe Hollow?

7/6/2014 2:25:18 PM


All I'm hearing is the rambling rant of someone debilitatingly socially inept. "I know you THINK you like orgasms but you actually don't. Trust me -- I know better than you based upon my personal experiences what it really felt like for you. You've just been programed by society to think massive rushes of endorphins are pleasurable. Don't be blinded by basic biology!" When the rest of the world enjoys a staple component of their biology and you don't it doesn't mean something is wrong with them. It means that something is wrong with you

As for the last bit, I've been rubbing them out since I was seven (I "discovered myself" at a very young age) and have heard similar stories from others. I enjoyed it then and I enjoy it now. So much for that "if you didn't enjoy it as a child" argument.

7/6/2014 2:32:53 PM


Well, it's enjoyable to us! Have we been suffering from a weird touch-hallucination all this time or are you a moron?

Nah, it's the latter.

7/6/2014 2:59:50 PM


Hah! Yeah right.

7/6/2014 3:17:07 PM


I hate to burst your bubble here but kids are really dumb.

7/6/2014 4:12:39 PM


I think I enjoyed sex. Long time ago, mind you....

7/6/2014 4:24:51 PM

I think that's "Knights of Bullshit Hollow"

7/6/2014 4:29:08 PM


SO. MUCH. FAIL. It almost made me cry.

7/6/2014 4:44:57 PM


Hmm, ok, nah. You're an idiot.

>childhood innocence.
You say that like it's a good thing.
*insert embarrassing laughter here*

7/6/2014 4:47:06 PM

Gearhead mk2

This guy could be asexual, which would explain and justify his dislike of sex. However, trying to force that dislike on others is not justifiable and judging from what he says the only possible explanation is indoctrination from a very early age.

7/6/2014 4:52:04 PM

Philbert McAdamia

Get out your red sashes, everybody, here comes the Junior Anti Sex League.

7/6/2014 4:56:25 PM

Professor von SCIENCE!!!

Look, I get the smoking and booze but unless someone has some kind of physical issue or just isn't interested in sex (I don't get it but to each their own) I think an orgasm feels pretty amazing. Especially, might I add, with a partner who knows their stuff.

Really a more appropriate analogy would be to compare sex to an activity that requires practice and skill to be good at. Heck, practice is half the fun.

7/6/2014 6:01:56 PM

Miles Gloriosus

>Sex like any of the great sins was on its first occurence the cause of nausea and traumatic surprise

Really? The first time I had sex, I had a blast. Sure, I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and it's funny to think back on it now, but it wasn't at all traumatic or nausea-inducing.

7/6/2014 8:36:50 PM


You must be a blast at orgies.

7/6/2014 8:41:37 PM

Insult to Rocks

"Just remember, brothers, that if you didn't like something as a kid - if a kid wouldn't do something for fun, then you shouldn't do it for fun now."
You do realize that kids are still people, right? They have their own interests and desires. They're not all the same.

7/6/2014 10:00:00 PM


I didn't like a lot of things as kid, like, say, progressive rock music. I do now.

Don't see how anyone could not enjoy sex, unless there was some traumatic issues (a rape victim, perhaps) or maybe one was simply asexual.

And who the fuck would honestly call their organisation "The Knights of Banjo Hollow"? Is this some group of rednecks from Appalachia or something?

7/6/2014 10:57:42 PM


Interesting, argumentum ad cooties.

7/7/2014 12:32:31 AM

Goomy pls

So sex IS enjoyable?

7/7/2014 12:35:48 AM


Which religion does the website this is from belong to? It is Shaker? Gnostic? A lot of stuff there about how procreation is evil. All it says in the 'about' section is "we believe in God". More bewildering is the presence of a Swastika, stuff about Yoga, and why it uses a name that sounds like that of a KKK chapter.

7/7/2014 12:45:20 AM

Izzet Scientist

Sex is Not Enjoyable

Either you're doing it wrong or it's you're first time.

Either way you're doing it wrong.

Also that stuff about childhood innocence kinda comes off as creepy.

7/7/2014 2:06:15 AM


This "I'm in your head so I know what you're actually thinking" behaviour is usually found with religious fundamentalists. Why is it spreading to other people?

7/7/2014 2:34:49 AM


Never been laid, eh fellas?

7/7/2014 2:41:09 AM


I still remember my first beer, I was 16 and i did not feel neither dizzyness nor nausea. Wasn't that tasty, sure, but it wasn't really bad. Also, kids don't do calculus for fun. These days I willingly read up on predator-prey modelling. And it's fun.

7/7/2014 2:48:11 AM


You're doing it wrong

7/7/2014 4:24:00 AM


Sex was traumatic, painful and nauseating to you? You must have done it wrong. I found it pretty enjoyable the first time. Sure, there was a bit of pain, but that was just at the end and subsided fairly quickly. And I knew beforehand that it would sting, so I was prepared.

You should only sip or nibble on things, the first time you try them. If you gulp down a whole beer the first time you try it, you will of course be dizzy and nauseated. I played with my dad's smoking pipe when I was little, and it tasted so awful, that I have never been tempted to try again.

Kids splash around in and eat mud for fun. Maybe you ought to go back to that, if the fun of adulthood is too hard for you, dearie.

7/7/2014 6:50:04 AM

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