Jack #fundie p4rgaming.com

The scores for the new Pokémon X and Y games have been very positive but some disagree. The Satanist’s Sect of America has given a fairly negative review of the games saying Nintendo did not do their best to recruit new Satanists with X and Y.spoonandsatanbothstartwithsMany have claimed that Nintendo’s long-running Pokémon series has satanic or anti-Christian properties that have corrupted children since 1998 starting with Pokémon Red and Blue in America. The Satanists’s Sect of America has no qualms admitting that the series does indeed recruit children on the most recent Satan’s Calling podcast giving their review of Pokémon X and Y. The following is a transcript from Monday’s podcast:

Priestess Evir: So, let’s talk about Pokémon X and Y. I know many listeners are awaiting our review of these games. After all, many claim that this is the key to finally revolutionizing the Satanist movement. Unfortunately, I don’t think it will happen.

Master Osias: I have to agree. Nintendo gave us our review copies last Wednesday and I have been going through X while Evir has been playing Y. They’re fun and I don’t doubt children would love playing it too, but they’re probably not going to be converted anytime soon.

Evir: There have been many changes to the game but maybe we should begin with the starting Pokémon.

Osias: Yes, let’s. I think Nintendo is still the best at hiding Pokémon‘s true intentions even if the intentions weren’t executed the best. For example, the new fire starter.

Evir: Yeah, she shows her true colors in the second and third evolutions.

Osias: I agree, she is a classic Satanist Pokémon. Unfortunately, she’s the only one in the game that I feel could corrupt children. And speaking of the starting Pokémon, they brought back the original three: Charmander, Squirtle and Bulbasaur.

Evir: Those took me back. Way back. I remember when those games came out and our sect grew so quickly. Now it’s kind of like a funny reminder of how things used to be. I don’t think Chamander has that quality anymore that made children become Satanists back in the 90s. It’s nice for us oldies to reminisce on, but it’s just nostalgia, nothing more.

Osias: They even introduced a new evolution for Alakazam called Mega Alakazam. Unfortunately, it does not reintroduce the star that is lost when Kadabra evolves into Alakazam that made children so fascinated by pentagrams way back when. All this nostalgia for nothing.

Evir: Let’s move on from the subject and talk about one of the more exciting features of the game.

Osias: Out of all the disappointment Nintendo has caused, they did give us a glimmer of hope for the next Pokémon games with the introduction of the fairy type.

Evir: Fairy is clearly code for Satanic, there’s no other way to interpret that.

Osias: And the Pokémon they chose to become fairies all have magical Satanic abilities like Jigglypuff and Clefable. It’s a masterstroke by Nintendo as I think the next game will have tons of fairies.

Evir: In a way, X and Y are probably setting the stage for the next Pokémon games.

Osias: Sort of. I think the reason we actually decided to review these games was because Nintendo tried real hard this time after years of dormancy in supporting Satanists.

Evir: Agreed. But there’s still a long way to go if they ever want to make a new Pokémon Red or Blue. The sky battle feature is a clear affront to God since it’s about Satanic monsters fighting in heaven. But I have a feeling it will not show up again in future games.

Osias: And they pushed that 3D effect so much which would have worked great to brainwash children. Then they chickened out with the 2DS. One step forward, two steps back. Typical Nintendo.

Evir: We have to give Pokémon X and Y a six out of ten. Now, this week’s selected chantings by Osias."

The two later commented again about the games saying that Nintendo might not actually be targeting children with Pokémon X and Y. Evir reasoned that no adult could possibly be playing the game simply like a children’s game and that Nintendo is only trying to restore the faith of ex-Satanists.

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