(Responding to story "Canadian Pastor Ordered to Allow Gay-Straight Alliances at his Christian Schools"):
“If you don’t comply with the law, then there are consequences,” he said, in that queer affected voice with which he chooses to speak. “I’m not sure how many more opportunities school boards need to be given.” He was lying though. He is actually sure: no more chances. He wants unfettered access right now to freely trawl the Christian school for beautiful and innocent virgins to groom for his insatiable appetite. Hand over those children, or we will do worse to you than we intend for them.
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"He wants unfettered access right now to freely trawl the Christian school for beautiful and innocent virgins to groom for his insatiable appetite."
Says the pastor with the Christian recruiting school.
I wanna know, why is "Homosexuality = Pedastry" even a thing?
It's stupid!
I think some homo-haters got together, had a brainstorm (and what a tiny storm it was) and figured (excuse the crappy Deep-South stereotyping)....
CLETUS: "We cain't argue from scripture because not everybody believe it! We cain't argue from real science because it says we stupid! We know some kid-grabbers target kids of the same sex. My cuzzin', Jim-Bob Yokum did a-thunking and went....
JIM-BOB: "DAD-GUMMITT! AH FOUND TH' ANSWER!. Everybody hates pedos! Raht?".
CLETUS: "Raht!"
JIM-BOB: "Okay! Ev'r seen dat Boys Beware ?"
CLETUS: "JIM-BOB! YOU'RE A GENIUS!"
JIM-BOB: "D'waaww shucks! Thanx! I owe it all to moonshine an JEEZUS!"
CLETUS: "And it'll take the heat off of our GAWDLY Men O' Gourd and their kid-aimed peccadilloes!"
JIM-BOB: "GLAWRY!"
CLETUS: "HALLAYLOOYAH!"
Actually; I'd imagine that Cletus and Jim-Bob are the secret creative minds behind Boy's Beware . It could have been a simple and unremarkable "Stranger-danger" short but, no....they had to emphasis that the "stranger" was "A HOMOSEXUAL"!
If this is what I think it's about, then I can provide a bit more context.
In Edmonton (because of course it would be Alberta that this happens in) this pastor is the head of a school board that runs two baptist christian schools. The provincial government passed a law that basically states that schools have to allow gay-straight alliances if students request one . That's it. They don't have to set it up themselves or actively be involved, they just have to not outright ban it. This pastor has been fighting tooth and nail against the law ever since it was passed. (And he's the only one, as far as I know; even the catholic schools gave in after a little bit of bitching.) The hilarious thing is that he also claims that there are no LGBT+ students whatsoever that attend his two schools. (Oh really? Then where the fuck is the problem?) The thing is, over 70% of the funding for his two schools comes directly from the government, so if the government pulls their funding, they'd effectively be shutting down his schools.
Just thought I'd share that since the context seems even more fundie to me than this shitty christian fanfiction.
"because of course it would be Alberta that this happens in"
I love my province, but sometimes it lives up to the stereotypes everybody has about it...
Whattsa matter, Smit?
Don't want to have to share?
Fear losing your ability to shamelessly shame Gays if there's a group who will stand up for them, and stand up to you?
Afraid your insanely strict interpretation of Bronze-Age mythology and cultural bigotry is starting to unravel?
All three?
“Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is.The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.” - Kaleel Jamison
Of course, people like Smit will never believe that.
I listened to the clip, and didn't hear anyone speaking in a "queer affected voice." Perhaps my standards are too high. Anyway, I doubt it's likely that anyone who did have such a voice would be trawling for beautiful virgins.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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