"Worse than Vogon Poetry" Award
Heed Pharaoh's warning, folks.
Submitter's Note: Truly abominable poetry ahead. NSFB. Read at own risk. Keep Brainbleach ready.
Oh chad are you playing games? Ecks dee you are so good!
You fix her computer Chad fucks her pooper
You treat her with class Chad is barring her ass
You bare your soul She is rimming chads asshole
You spent all night fixing her computer Chad spent 8 minutes bruising her crefix
You regale her with lit Chad's hammering her clit
You buy her a meal Chad cops him a good feel
You give up your seat She's sucking chad's meat
44 comments
You spent all night fixing her computer Chad spent 8 minutes bruising her crefix
This whole thing is a travesty,
But this partic'lar time,
It does not even rhyme,
Not even painfully.
Wow, a poem in my honor. I'm flattered. Well, admittably it's not very good, but at least you tried, and that's what counts.
Life is no ero-game with rules and tasks,
No scripted contrivance with goal and end,
Nor e-forum where we hide behind masks
Where a G. I. R. L. your needs will tend.
Life is more real and more complicated,
More needing actual interaction
Than your febrile mind anticipated,
More than ever preached by your dull faction.
You earn no love points and no tokens bright,
You earn no charms, no favors and no cheers.
All women can see you're a lying blight,
And your mendacious ways earn only jeers.
Everyone knows what you try hard to hide:
You show the rot and the garbage inside.
You spent all night fixing her computer Chad spent 8 minutes bruising her crefix
That doesn't rhyme moron.
Oh, I've got one.
Chad gives her what she needs, but you're just a disgusting dickweed.
These chads seem more & more appealing with every passing day.
Don't quit your day job, boy, assuming you have one. You are no e.e. cummings. You're not even emo caliber 7th grade poetry assignment.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who identified as "incel" because he couldn't fuck it
So rather than making an effort at self-improvement
He told everyone and everything else, "Screw it!"
And now he spends his days blaming feminism and "Chad" for a how his life is ruined
As a member of that toxic movement.
>obsessed with sex
>can't spell "cervix"
Argghh, and I can't even escape from it by gnawing one of my legs off!
...
Well at least it enables a few good Hitchhikers Guide jokes.
I cannot picture thee, my incel friend
But in a stinking cesspit full of waste
Where all that's shit and piss-poor tends to end
And at this thought I'm not remotely phazed.
For like a cesspit you are full of faeces
Forever spouting endless piles of shit
You can't get laid and this has you in pieces
And you cannot see why - you lack in wit.
Yet all the women that you say refuse you
And that you claim just pine for fucking Chad
Care not for shit, although this may confuse you
For unlike Chad shit tends to smell quite bad.
Thus if in fact you do want to get laid
Just know that shit to fuck is not that great.
^^ A crefix is a strange organ only incels know about. It is both existent and nonexistent, and thus is the most difficult thing for a man to pleasure - hence why these guys are all incels! Because they don't know how to do this.
The secret is...
You can pleasure a crefix by ambificating a dihippulium through a practice that is commonly called obrickation, and proceeding to initiate arbomadriasis.
Nope, I don`t do anal. Tried, neither of liked it specially, guess you need a prostate to actually enjoy the stuff.
Also I fix my own stuff and then indeed, we often have sex immidiately afterwards because apparently the sight of his female knee deep in electronics makes my man horny as all hell, probasbly has something to do with loving your other half and being immensely proud of their achievements instead of trying to assure they never get "ahead" of you.
I read this and I just burst out laughing.
Really, what does it even mean to "regale her with lit"? Or "barring her ass" (sounds painful)?
At least this incel acknowledges gay people, what with "Chad cops him a good feel". Its so rare for incels to acknowledge that the men they're so jealous of can be homosexual as well as heterosexual.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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