Michael Joseph Merritt,
We Hunted The Mammoth
[6/10/2017 3:54:49 AM]
Fundie Index: 9
Submitted By: Hu's On First
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Some guy is handing out leaflets informing women he’s sorry they gave him a boner
Some guy is having too much time
6/10/2017 4:18:13 AM
The Reptilian Jew
Not creepy at all, no good sir
6/10/2017 4:24:51 AM
Does this guy have them printed up, in gold, ready to hand to whichever woman he looks at? Well...as a way of getting dates, it's unique, at least.
6/10/2017 5:25:05 AM
Josh Buggar negates anything you can possibly say: and in perpetuity.
What was it that your J-boy said to a woman he'd saved from a judgemental stone-wielding mob: then forgiven?
your fundie Christains.
6/10/2017 8:15:40 AM
Something tells me he didn't quote that out of a book of pick-up lines.
6/10/2017 8:54:32 AM
"It's going to be a busy day today.
Today will be a day of much business.
On this day, much business will be conducted.
Business is in abundance today."
6/10/2017 9:53:50 AM
He goes through ALL that....spending all that money....with the lovely stationery, gold lettering, and elaborate signature just to come up with....THAT.
Mom needs to occupy him with a LOT more
6/10/2017 10:56:30 AM
The Angry Dybbuk
You know, I might have respected Merritt's...uhhh...um...whatever the fuck he's doing if the letter weren't written in gold-leaf and most especially
if his signature didn't take up a third of the page!
6/10/2017 1:42:13 PM
This is dumb as Hell.
6/10/2017 1:48:47 PM
The words hurts my eyes.
6/10/2017 2:21:40 PM
The Angry Dybbuk
Now that I read it again, it looks more and more like back-handed slut-shaming: 'I'm soooo sorry, dearest damsel, that your provocative attire caused me to lust after your smokin' hawt body.' (...because you just know Merritt isn't handing this thing out to toothless older women with pendulous breasts.)
6/10/2017 3:10:32 PM
Equal parts sad and creepy.
6/11/2017 1:57:43 AM
Also, check out the comma splice in that first sentence. That's a sin against the Gods of Grammar, Michael.
The middle sentence is so long and overwrought that it forgets to have a subject entirely. (I don't think "dis-honouring" is common usage even in England, although I can't discount it.) Finally, the last sentence would normally call for a comma after "So", and is not the type of remark I would give an exclamation point, although that last is a matter of personal taste.
Not that I expect anyone who actually signed this... thing... to
any personal taste.
6/11/2017 4:11:19 AM
I think your letters would be much better received if you cut out all those "Mea Culpa" portions.
6/11/2017 10:28:38 PM
11/19/2017 2:58:23 PM