Quote# 128236

So I talked with the priest at the local church about why God won't make Winry real and he gave me the dumbest bullshit I've ever heard. For God's sakes, it took me nearly 30 minutes to walk to the church and he didn't even tell me how to get God to answer my prayers. Literally all he did was blab about how I need to overcome the deadly sin of Lust and made me put away my 3DS while talking to him. Ignoring the fact that it was near impossible to see the screen until I was got inside the church. And to top it all off, as much of an idiot as I was, I decided to stop at some pizza restaurant near the church and when it came time for me to pay for the pizza, I realized that I forgot my wallet. I was told that I had to bring the money for the pizza there within five hours if I wanted to be let off the "hook". So I had no choice but to walk back to my house, back to the pizza restaurant and then back to my house again because my dad wouldn't be back within 5 hours. But the worst part was, my 3DS died right in the middle of my second trip there, so I had to walk all the way back to my apartment to charge it before heading out again. Then by the time it was all over, I decided to eat another two slices of pizza before heading back home, only to realize that I only had three dollars left in my wallet after paying for the first two slices. So I had to make a trip once again and I was EXHAUSTED. And the very worst part is, I tried to switch out Mario vs. Donkey 2: March of the Minis for Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story while on my way back to get the money for the second time after I left the pizza restaurant and I accidentally dropped it and it fell down a sewer cover. I then took out my pocket knife and started undoing the screws so that I could get it back, but some stupid police officer stopped me and wouldn't even get the game himself because "Public safety is more important than a save file I spent days on!" This is all that stupid priest's fault! Why couldn't he have just told me how to make Winry real?! Isn't God supposed to grant miracles?! That's why I want to take this stupid fraud to court.

RetroSpriteResources, Deviantart forums 14 Comments [6/18/2017 4:01:05 PM]
Fundie Index: 7

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Good job.

6/18/2017 4:11:16 PM

Shepard Solus

Okay. Thank you. This is precisely the kind of evidence of his troll nature that I was asking for.

6/18/2017 4:23:43 PM


Is this some type of performance art with which I am not familiar?


6/18/2017 4:24:59 PM


...and that's why Dr. Stuart Ashen has an Open Pandora.

The battery for that lasts for slightly longer than 10 hours; and that was when he accidentally left the Wi-Fi on. You therefore know that it would last far longer with that turned off. [/Bluetooth]

Can your Nintendon't run emulators for just about every games platform out there: including the Vectrex, for example? The NEC PC Engine? SNK Neo-Geo? Even run a distro of Linux?!

The Open Pandora is around the size of a 3DS. And as it's essentially a pocket computer, you can save files on it.

...and as it costs more than a 3DS - $500 - like Ashens you'll want to take greater care of it.

Oh, and - as he collects handheld consoles - he also has a 3DS: he just doesn't whinge like you do. His Ph.D in Psychology is probably the reason why.

6/18/2017 5:43:48 PM

Philbert McAdamia

Suing a priest for fraud.
It's just too good.
If only.

6/18/2017 5:51:32 PM

The Angry Dybbuk

On a related note, I wish people could sue the "Long Island Medium" for fraud. (Yes, yes, TLC lost the right to call itself "The Learning Channel" at least 15 years ago, but watching that bitch making money off people's grief is sick.)

6/18/2017 9:23:44 PM

Pink Jackboots

6/18/2017 9:35:33 PM


Is this another kind of attempt at "humor" by a fundie? Because I'm pretty sure that not even the most bratty teenager would actually think that way, except if they were EXCEPTIONALLY dumb.
And if it is, it fails by the way, no surprise there.

6/18/2017 10:13:21 PM

Lady Troodon

TROLL! No one could write something this dumb and be serious about it...right?

6/19/2017 1:03:36 AM

The Reptilian Jew

This quote convinced me that RSR is a troll. Stop posting him please.

6/19/2017 3:31:43 AM

Mister Spak

At least you got some exercise to counteract the pizza calories.

6/19/2017 4:21:06 AM


This has got to be a Poe. Can we stop citing this guy?

6/19/2017 8:48:39 AM

Demon Duck of Doom

... Bwuh?!?

@Dybbuk: I agree, mediums need to be sued. Fucking con artists...

6/19/2017 3:14:13 PM

The Angry Dybbuk

@ DDD:

I agree. People argue mediums bring comfort. I disagree; they and their cheap tricks - cold reading, hot reading, "shotgunning" - hurt far more people than they help. This is especially true for TV show hosts, who control content on their "reality" shows to broadcast more hits than misses.

6/20/2017 12:21:42 AM

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