Quote# 128635

Sacred Heart Catholic Church, Team Jimmy Joe 28 Comments [6/29/2017 1:11:31 AM]
Fundie Index: 7
Submitted By: Demon Duck of Doom

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"Sacred Heart"

Or Scared Heart.

6/29/2017 1:59:57 AM

If god sends to hell for that he is unjust.

6/29/2017 3:13:11 AM


Is an eternity in heaven (big IF) worth not touching yourself?

6/29/2017 3:19:10 AM


Nowhere in the Bible does it state or even imply that touching yourself anywhere is sinful.

6/29/2017 3:56:31 AM

Happy Atheist

If merely touching yourself is enough to condemn you to eternal, infinite, never-ending torture, then the god that put that system in place is a horrific monster of equally endless proportions. In that case, Heaven would be just as bad as Hell, spending eternity under the boot of such a creature, and no matter what you do in life you'll end it up in a hell of one variety or another.

From this we can conclude that the only joy one will receive is that which you get while alive.

Thus, yes: touching yourself is worth an eternity in hell. QED.

6/29/2017 4:34:34 AM

Mister Spak

How about touching an alter boy?

6/29/2017 4:36:59 AM



If it's not, you're doing it wrong.

6/29/2017 4:43:40 AM


Awww, they're worried about me. How sweet. I'm touched.

Now if they would only care as much about people BEFORE they die, that would be nice.

6/29/2017 5:09:00 AM

Doubting Thomas

When you're a teenage boy with raging hormones and you see Becky Sue Johnson in her cheerleader outfit, yes it is.

6/29/2017 5:10:18 AM

TB Tabby

Is an eternity of torture a proportionate punishment for an act that harms no one?

6/29/2017 5:14:26 AM


If merely touching yourself means hell, so does any other little thing. So, chances are you'll go there anyway, and it doesn't seem like the punishment is different for small and large offenses. So, might as well touch yourself, fornicate, etc. have fun while you can...

6/29/2017 6:15:31 AM


No, it isn't which is a good reason not to believe what your church preaches.

6/29/2017 6:40:14 AM

M. Bersback


6/29/2017 7:21:19 AM

rubber chicken

My poor eyesight prevents me from reading that sign.

6/29/2017 7:23:41 AM

I'm going to hell for one thing or another. Might as well ennoy myself.

6/29/2017 7:30:02 AM


@rubber chicken:

It says:

Sacred Heart Catholic Church

Is touching yourself worth an eternity in hell?

6/29/2017 7:34:23 AM


What if you get someone else to touch you instead?

6/29/2017 7:35:48 AM


@Some Ape
Rubber Chicken was making a joke based on the old idea that masturbation affects your eyesight.

Being on the autism spectrum I don't usually get metaphors and sarcasm, but I managed to pick that one up OK. I must be getting used to FSTDT!

6/29/2017 7:37:43 AM

Insult to Rocks

So, what I'm getting from this sign is, instead of touching myself, I should just hire someone else to tuch me instead. It's what Jesus would have wanted, right?

6/29/2017 7:45:50 AM


Is Touching Yourself Worth An Eternity In Hell?

...as opposed to say... touching little kids?! [/Cardinal Hell... er, I mean Pell]

@rubber chicken

My poor eyesight prevents me from reading that sign

And it's the boxing gloves for you! X3

6/29/2017 8:06:54 AM

Pink Jackboots

What if I get someone else to touch me, Or if I touch someone else?

6/29/2017 8:17:36 AM


The christian, jewish and islamic version of god is supposed to be all-powerful and all-knowing and to have made the universe and everything therein and "he" objects to masturbation? Weird.

6/29/2017 9:47:46 AM


Come on folks, get real. This is a total fake and was made at the now defunct churchsigngenerator.com website.

Do intelligent people really still fall for this crap? I'd say no.

More from the same source. See the source at the bottom of the images. It has been photoshopped out in our image.

6/29/2017 12:28:53 PM

Demon Duck of Doom

Gonna say yes here.

6/29/2017 1:05:35 PM


Obvious fake.

6/29/2017 2:45:29 PM

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