I don’t care how innocent you think you are, if you are getting off to porn where women are getting choked and hit and abused I’m going to kink shame the fuck out of you because a woman’s dehumanization should not turn you on no matter how many “but the actress consented!” lines you try to toss at me.
#questions #porn #anti porn #anti kink #kinks #kink shaming #shaming #femism #women's rights #consent #abuse #abusive #domestic abuse #physical abuse #sexual abuse #violence #domestic violence
9 comments
What about those that get off to men being choked, hit, and abused? Is that okay? What about those of us with submissive tendencies that enjoy being on the receiving end of some of that treatment, regardless of gender?
Hell, I'm a victim of long-term domestic abuse, and I still find some things in the pain department to be turn-ons (though I draw a very, very sharp line at verbal abuse and humiliation. I'd rather not have flashbacks again). And I've been with like-minded people. But I guess people's fun time is only okay so long as it fits your sensibilities, and everyone must see things from the same perspective as you.
There is very specific porn that does present graphic beating of men and women. Even though it is fake (unless you're deep in places no mortal should tread) I would be deeply troubled viewing it.
But on the other hand, many people also enjoy graphic horror movies and are fine, upstanding, non serial killers.
I agree with Gabriel. This deserves a conversation. For me, there's a line between fantasy and reality. If someone has a violent background and enjoys brutal porn, that's a huge red flag.
"Why. Does. Beating. Women. Turn. You. On."
Like, breast-man or ass-man, it's something pretty basic that draws our attention to certain things.
I will not be shamed for my kinks any more than for my vanilla tastes, ...or for liking strawberry ice cream more than vanilla. None of that is voluntary.
What IS voluntary is what I do to satisfy my tastes. If the guy ahead of me gets the last of the strawberry, beating him up to acquire the strawberry would be wrong. If I can control my urges and find something else in the freezer that will satisfy, or just wait until strawberry becomes available, I'm able to live in society without harming others, and that's okay.
There's a difference between getting off on something and actually wanting it to happen in real life.
For example, fetish for gigantic women destroying cities is apparently out there. The vast majority of people who have that fetish would never want that to happen, or expect that to happen, or be happy if that really did happen. Those that do are usually not welcome in any communities. Well, except maybe incel ones because it involves mass destruction, but those are below the bottom of the barrel as far as non-darkweb sites go. But if people with that fetish were to rent a porno? Yeah, they'd go for the one with a cover showing a hot lady knocking over a skyscraper.
I'm going to put it like this: as long as a society puts a low priority or value on sexual consent, all porn is at least a little problematic, and violent porn especially so. On the other hand, such societies often put low priority or value on consent *in general*, making quite a lot of everyday things at least a little problematic, including employment and childcare.
On the other hand, if they put a high value/priority on consent, then porn in general isn't problematic, and violent porn only a little bit problematic, assuming said society wasn't also cavalier about safety.
So I'm going to say, leave the porn alone, focus on making society better. Then again I also consensually beat my boyfriend with various tools and toys, so I'm not exactly neutral here.
Why. Does. Beating. Women. Turn. You. On.
That's a good question, provided you're actually seeking an answer and not just looking for a gotcha. I certainly don't enjoy cruelty and abuse in my porn. The real world already overflows with unchecked cruelty and abuse, so I can't fathom why anyone would want even more of it in their fantasies. I'm not going to assume anyone who does enjoy those fantasies would ever commit those abusive acts in reality, however. I'd be stupid to. I do enjoy violent video games, movies, TV shows and comics, and you're not going to catch me emulating those violent acts. We've long debunked the idea that violence in other forms of media turns you into a more violent person, so why should we assume that violent porn is any different?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
