KarateCowboy #fundie

KarateCowboy #fundie christianforums.com

I have a plan for terrorist protection and prevention. From now on if a terrorist kills himself by suicide bombing, or is otherwise killed in an attempt to hurt others we embalm their bodies in pig lard and wrapped in bacon.

Also, I was thinkinging, we could have airplane security guards carry squirtguns filled with pigs blood. Of course, it would have to have anti-coagulants in it, but it would rock because if some terrorist went crazy we could squirt them with pigs blood, and they couldn't blow themselves up because they'd be unclean, and would have to go to a mosque and pray or something. Of course, then we'd catch them.

Also, if a terrorist is caught alive, we make them eat nothing but pork chops and work on a pig farm and play Porky the Pig cartoons in their cells all day. Their clothes and upholstery would be made of pigskin leather, and we'd give them pork rind potato chips. Every meal would include bacon bits. The carpeting in their cells would be boar's fur rugs, and their beds would have Miss Piggy sheets, pillowcovers, and bed spreads.

Verily, I am a genius.

65 comments

old comment by Timwilkins1@bigpond.com

a. Not an original idea... Black Jack Pershing instituted a similar policy against muslim assassins in the Phillipines during the Spanish/American War, their bodies were to be sewed up inside a pigskin, I beleive.
b. "Ever heard of cruel and unusual punishment being against the Geneva Convention? " WRONG! This is a tennet of the US constitution, I think. It has nothing to do with the laws of armed conflict (of which the Geneva conventions are a part) Americans who think that the world begins and ends at the borders of the USA shit me almost as much as fundies do. And if you don't beleive me, try claiming "freedom of speech" when making anti government statements in Iran

old comment by Ens

I don't know. Honestly, I think this is pretty funny.
And you know, at the risk of being quoted on this very site, a part of me sympathizes with this idea (notwithstanding what Jezebel's Evil Sister pointed out about the Koran, and the difficulty of finding little bits of terrorist). I mean, these guys, the Islamic terrorists, are crazy nutbar insane killing people in large part because of their warped views on religion. It seems to me that one of the most logical short-term defenses is to use their warped views on religion against them. Of course, this is all very cruel and unusual in a certain psychological sense, but I've far less sympathy for victims of that then physical tortures. That said, I'm not condoning it overall. And I'm not sure our Cowboy is either. It's just funny. Hit 'em where it hurts. It's not like you don't ever hear people suggesting that (male) rapists should be castrated, and don't tell me that's a hell of a lot better (not without a good argument, anyway).

old comment by Tempus

Al Takfir wal-Hijra.

From Wikipedia:

"Members of the group are radical Islamists who are not bound by the usual Islamic religious constraints. They adopt non-Islamic appearances such as shaving their beard and wearing a tie in order to blend into crowds and make themselves hard to detect even to other Muslims. They can drink alcohol and even eat pork to deceive their enemies. They believe that any means justify the end and, that killing other Muslims can be justified in their cause and that Western society is heathen and it is their duty to destroy it.[1]"

Your cunning plan has a great big fucking flaw. Other than making you look somewhat assholic, it doesn't really serve a useful purpose.

old comment by GigaGuess

I have a plan for terrorist protection and prevention. From now on if a terrorist kills himself by suicide bombing, or is otherwise killed in an attempt to hurt others we embalm their bodies in pig lard and wrapped in bacon.
Okay, if a terrorist blows himself up, then by definition, there's not a lot there TO embalm or wrap

Also, I was thinkinging, we could have airplane security guards carry squirtguns filled with pigs blood. Of course, it would have to have anti-coagulants in it, but it would rock because if some terrorist went crazy we could squirt them with pigs blood, and they couldn't blow themselves up because they'd be unclean, and would have to go to a mosque and pray or something. Of course, then we'd catch them.
Or, y'know, it'd take someone who's already unstable, and drive them into a complete fury. You think it would do good, but all it would mean is said terrorist would go COMPLETELY berserk. What, did you think he'd just quietly sit down and start praying?

Also, if a terrorist is caught alive, we make them eat nothing but pork chops and work on a pig farm and play Porky the Pig cartoons in their cells all day. Their clothes and upholstery would be made of pigskin leather, and we'd give them pork rind potato chips. Every meal would include bacon bits. The carpeting in their cells would be boar's fur rugs, and their beds would have Miss Piggy sheets, pillowcovers, and bed spreads.
Okay, so if we catch an Xian terrorist, we will having him systematically sodomized every hour, on the hour, have him watch taped abortions all night long, paint images of Hindu gods all over the cell, withhold food unless you can recite a verse from the Qu'ran, and have you wear a jumpsuit that says "Darwin says I *AM* a Monkey's uncle."

Nothing about that seems cruel or unusual to you, now, does it?

Verily, I am a genius.
Verily, your brain cell shall die as it lived. Lonely.

[EDIT] Further, is it just me, or the way these twits talk, would you not think that planes are blowing up in the air like firecrackers? Three planes got hijacked on 9/11, and it was considered a huge oddity as, if I'm not mistaken, there hadn't been a hijacking in a decade or so.