Boots, Trewmommy, Aditch,jessileigh180 #fundie whattoexpect.com

@Whatwhatyousatinyouk

What would you do if you found out one of your good friends is a sex offender? I'm talking about doing a serious offense? My husband just found out yesterday that his buddy (they've been friends for a few years now, met through another friend and he's become a good friend over that time) is a registered sex offender. he's one of those guys that you would never have guessed on either. Because we have a baby daughter, I had to ask his wife about it. She played it down as if it was a misunderstanding, but basically he raped a 13 year old girl when he was almost 20. I'm sorry but to me, I do not see any misunderstanding, especially because it wasn't deemed statutory, she did NOT consent. Also, he spent a few years in prison. am very uncomfortable with him now, and will never leave our child with them even though they have 2 daughters. I personally feel like we've been lied to this whole friendship (sex offenders are supposed to tell you they are registered and why) and feel that if we didn't find out from the registry, we would have never found out. They just had their second daughter (his wife's first) so our daughters will be within a few weeks of each other in age, but I do not want to leave her there, EVER, which I won't.

(Trewmommy)
I would say if I was already friends with the person and liked hanging out with them then that would not change,
As far as your friend, It could very well be a misunderstanding of some kind. You never know. He was still rather young and she could have been messing with him and either got mad and told her parents or her parents found out. If she was like 8,9,10 or younger then I would be more worried, but at 13 you just never know, esp these days.


(Boots)
Although you say that he was not charged with statutory rape -- that doesn't mean that the sex wasn't actually consensual. The girl was 13. Her parents could have found out that she had sex with your husbands friend and they may have flipped out. She could have lied to avoid the consequences and said that she had no part in it. I'm not saying that's what happened, but situations like that happen all the time. A guy I graduated high school with is in jail right now because he had consensual sex with a 14 year old. He is 26 years old. She didn't claim he raped her, but he is still serving time in jail. IMO it's still disgusting, but it doesn't mean he's a rapist. Excuse me if I missed something and you are 100% positive that he raped the girl.

(
jessileigh180)


Ages 20 and 13 aren't nearly as far apart as they sound. I would expect a 20 year old man and a 13 year old girl to both be immature at those ages. Either could have lied about their age, I know several girls who look significantly older then they are. I'm also still young enough (22) to remember what I was like at 13.n gereral. If the girl had been younger perhaps 9 or 10 I would agree with your fears for his children but at the age of 13 the girl is really a teenager and her body would reflect that. So even if he did rape a girl who was 13 doesn't have to mean he would attack children.


(Aditch)

I'm not sure I understand your extreme reaction to his presence around your baby. What is the link between him assaulting a teenager to sexually touching your infant? I get that you are unnerved and you want to put up guardrails on the relationship. You may even feel that it is better to cut ties all together. Completely normal reactions. But I think it is important to weigh your response with all the potentials. No, a 13 year old girl can't consent. But unless you know for sure that she didn't play an active role than you can't really deem him a violent sexual predator. My 13 year old has girls in her class who wear more make up than me and wear daisy dukes with heels. My daughter has told me that she knows a girl who is sexually active with her boyfriend. She also has another friend who is 5'8" and weighs 175 pounds. These are not 'children'. They are full on menstruating budding women.

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