Quote# 141925

In order for everyone to truly love Jesus, no one can have sex with anyone, but Jesus. For, they would be cheating on the Son of God, who is whom everon's true love is.

Therefore, no other man but Jesus will have sex with any other woman, because every womans true love is Jesus.

Esoteric Teacher, Above Top Secret 19 Comments [1/10/2019 10:02:51 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: Denizen

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Pharaoh Bastethotep

So Jesus is a bisexual hyper-polygamist?

Also: Extinction yay!

1/10/2019 10:04:06 AM

Kanna

So with respect to all human desires and behavior, just how does that work? Oh, wait ...it doesn't.

1/10/2019 12:15:34 PM

K

False.
I 'truly love' lots of people I don't have sex with.
And if the one person I do have sex with doesn't feel like it, I don't have sex with her, either, but I don't stop loving her truly.

So even if I thought gods were real and Jesus was one of them, I do not see having to save my sex only for him.

So, I guess what I'm saying, is fuck off with your infantile definition of love.

1/10/2019 12:52:03 PM

HS

Nice. Kinky. Please continue, I like where this is going.

1/10/2019 1:05:55 PM

Anon-e-moose

no one can have sex with anyone, but Jesus


Even male Christians are known as his 'Bride'.

So what was that about homosexuality, especially - as we on FSTDT are the first to point out - your J-boy never said so much as word one against such in the NT...?!

1/10/2019 1:58:24 PM

SpukiKitty

Finally; Every day in every way, the quotes here keep getting weirder and weirder!

This should be filed in the "Bathtub Leviathan" category.

1/10/2019 2:06:38 PM

Swede

So, all men are gay?


I concur with Pharaoh Bastethotep

Also: Extinction yay!


1/10/2019 2:12:29 PM

checkmate

I'm changing my name to Jesus. This will be fun.

1/10/2019 4:31:51 PM

Man Called True

I don't even like the guy. Stop saying He's my "true love".

1/10/2019 4:39:46 PM

Titania

That's OK. Sleep with who you want, then when you are coming, just call out OH JESUS!

1/10/2019 5:56:06 PM

Thinking Allowed

Sorry, but Jesus really ain't my type.

1/10/2019 5:59:39 PM

Dizzy Dream

When preachers say 'Come to Jesus' I don't think this is what they mean.

1/10/2019 6:08:55 PM

Doubting Thomas

This gives a new meaning to "Come quickly, Lord Jesus!"

1/11/2019 8:09:15 AM



This explains all those Mexicans named Jesus crossing the border illegally.

Also explains Trump and his wall. He can't handle that competition for porn actress and centerfold girlfriends.

1/11/2019 8:48:20 AM

Chloe

Oh come on.

1/11/2019 9:28:27 AM

Skide

Dunno who that Jesus fella is but seems mexicans are getting all the action these days :D

1/11/2019 2:56:52 PM

Denizen

Usachinanukewar is going to be jealous. Jesus is his alone!

1/11/2019 7:43:26 PM

Timjer

No, thank you. I'm a 100% straight male and Jesus isn't my type anyway. Besides, even so, nordic people are more my type, not middle-eastern (no offense to anyone there). If I want to write erotic fanfics or just fantasize about attractive demigods or divinities, I have plenty of other fictional options. ...What? Can I help it that I'm attracted to strong (yet caring) women...

1/13/2019 9:11:37 AM

Sasha

Someone sounds verrrry frustrated.

1/16/2019 10:32:14 PM

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