It boggles the mind that young women at a Catholic university could reach the age of reason and yet appear unashamed in a state of brazen immodesty before the King of Kings. Did their mothers not teach them? Did their fathers not discipline them?

[...]

How is this even a discussion? Young women are publicly displaying, at Mass, sights reserved for their future husbands only. Young men have sex rubbed in their faces ever minute of every day, and it's not as if these skanks are oblivious to it. They're willingly participating in it.

[...]

These callous witches know what they're doing. The entire purpose of wearing tights in public is to draw male attention with sex. They value dopamine hits from strangers above young men's eternal souls. They are stumbling blocks to their brothers in Christ.

Enough. Priests and bishops, the confessional has no doubt acquainted you with the massive epidemic of young men enslaved to sexual sin. How can they combat these loathsome vices when you allow them no respite from temptation, not even within the walls of Holy Mother Church?

Announce that leggings are forbidden starting next Sunday. Any woman in leggings who presents herself for communion after that point can be assumed to be giving scandal obstinately and willfully. As such, she is in a state of mortal sin. Deny her communion.

If your female congregants can't bear to part with their hooker pants, make chapel veils mandatory again. Have the ushers hand them out to every woman who walks in the door. If a woman presents herself for communion without a veil...you guessed it.

And for the sake of all that's holy, Notre Dame, ban Irish 4 Reproductive Health. Not only are they heretics, their spelling is a disgrace to the university system.

If female congregants don't like these proposals, they can find somewhere else to troll for johns. I recommend the lot behind the bus station.

Of course, I don't expect any of these common sense and frankly morally obligatory steps to be taken. The childless Boomer hags who run most parishes share their younger counterparts' satanic contempt for men. They just can't squeeze into tights anymore.

To Millennial women who complain that they can't find a good man: Do you not understand that we find you not just distasteful, but monstrous? You treat men as sources of attention, pleasure, and resources, yet you dismiss men's concerns with ever shriller calls for rights you already have.

A record number of men under 30 have stopped having sex altogether. Do have any idea how hard it is to deny that basic masculine drive? For today's sex-addicted men, it's like going without food or water. Congratulations, ladies, you are so awful that some men are doing the equivalent of starving themselves rather than be with you.