Quote# 143242

(vcardthrow1)
...I kinda dislike parents. Including mine.

I am a hardcore anti-natalist and think having children is the most selfish thing one can do. And granted, people follow lots of selfish impulses - wanting to have children is like wanting to have a romantic partner, it's instinctive.

But it's still selfish when you consider most people are kinda shitty as parents and they don't want to raise or love a human being (neither do I - it's hard and this is a shitty world); they want a baby. Or not even - they want to have sex without birth control. It's animalistic.

Simple as that.

I don't understand how women want children with men when so many men in particular are guilty of this. Men want kids because they no fucking idea how miserable and boring it is raising children and their own parents socialized them to nothing different.

I don't understand how anyone who has experienced serious sadness or hardship in their lives wants children and assume that person is very stupid in general...because you will probably pass whatever gave you sorrow to your child. Particularly as an adult. I am repulsed at the thought of not only being pregnant, but putting my and my disgusting, ugly, bloat-faced mother's face into a little baby. The acne. The body hair. You could not pay me any amount of money to do so.

Sorry if I'm offending parents here, but...yeah, in the abstract, this is what I've come to.

(38wao)
I feel like this about being born.

Why did my parents think it was a good idea to have kids? Both of my parents have been dealing with depression and the family history is full of it.

My father has a nasty temper with narcissitic tendencies and my mom is ugly and chronically ill. I resent my mother for having kids with my father knowing that he would be abusive and being so weak that she would just watch.

Both me and my sister have been depressed and anxious to the point of having to go to a child therapist. I had a stay in the psychiatry when I was only 13.

I loathe my parents for giving me all those shitty genetics and inflicting their issues on me.

(MsSinisteress)
I feel like giving birth to a child and actually taking care of it is the most selfless thing you can do. And by selfless I mean being a fucking pushover. Because humans are more equipped to rearing children collectively, as if in a group, where we treat kids as part of a group. But the modern structure enables rearing single parentship based on your financial resources, so it's asking to raising a demon for 18 years without having anything in return + enduring 9 months of pain for it. You owe nothing to a child but the modern structure makes raising it a necessity, and in turn there's no payback.

vcardthrow1, 38wao & MsSinisteress, r/Trufemcels 5 Comments [4/14/2019 6:32:05 AM]
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checkmate

most people are kinda shitty as parents


Perhaps, but there are also enough great parents who have kinda shitty kids.

4/14/2019 9:25:19 AM

Kanna

Sorry, but your ...well, it looks like chronic depression to me... is unlikely to have any serious effect upon the basic instincts of most people. But I definitely agree with not having kids unless and until you actively want kids.

4/14/2019 11:20:01 AM

Zinnia

Here is an illustration - a rather poor illustration, but one nonetheless, how some acts can be either selfish or selfless, or even both at the same time. It's a matter of the observer's perspectives and priorities, and sometimes, the actor's motivation.

I bring this up for an off-topic reason. It annoys me how much the left and the right both accuse each other of narcissism. By which is usually meant "person/group who engages in selfish assholery". As I get older and more experienced, I find that much of this perception of "selfish assholery" is really people projecting their own perspectives and priorities onto others and trying to come up with motivations to explain why they choose to act differently despite that.

Please don't think that I'm going soft or moderate or anything like that. I still find most of the right's views to be repugnant. I'm just a strong believer in "know your enemy and know yourself". Likewise, this doesn't apply to most of the individuals who feature here, as most of them *are* irredeemable fuckwits. I just don't like painting broad social, political, or religious categories of people as being inherently selfish or even malevolent without a damn good reason. "They hold views which I personally find repugnant" is not a good enough reason. Because that also implies "If anyone finds *my* views repugnant, then it's proof *I'm* selfish or malevolent" regardless of what those views are.

[/soapbox]

4/14/2019 2:15:43 PM

Pharaoh Bastethotep

Maybe, we should hook them up with RippedRichAndIncel, who believes in the same fauxlosophy.

4/14/2019 2:32:10 PM

Swede

Usually it's women who DON'T want children that are called selfish.

My parents are good parents, they like children, they like people, and have spent their whole lives with and for children. They have four children and five grandchildren (so far), and before they retired, they were teachers for future kindergarten-teachers.

In Sweden, men are supposed to take half the responsibility of raising children. Three months of the parental leave are earmarked for the dad; if he doesn't use them, they are gone.

You need a plan for raising children, you need to study up on pedagogy, philosophy and psychology, learn how children develop and how you can help them at each stage. Then it's not so miserable and boring.

Donated eggs, perhaps?

Sure, if you're chronically depressed, or narcissistic or abusive, you should perhaps not have children. And yes, more people ought to really contemplate if and why they want children. Having children shouldn't be something you feel you ought to do, or do because everyone else is doing it, but because you really, really want to do it.

4/14/2019 10:31:49 PM

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