Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 17584

Earlier today I recieved a most disturbing telephone call from my great grandson. He recalled to me the start of his public summer school courses. He told me of his science class teaching about evolution and natural selection. Like any good Christian, I was uphauled! How dare they instill the lunatic notions from a man who has been under growing suspicion of being the secret founder of modern Satanism! Some here may know of the damned soul by the name of Anton LaVey who went public with Satanism in the 1960's, however, it all began in secrecy in the 19th Century by Charles Darwin!!! YES! IT'S TRUE!!!!! It quickly and oh so quietly spread throughout the globe from secret encoded Satanic texts that could only be read under the influenc of demons and unclean spirits. Than one man decided to adopt the teachings as his own and went public. One of the primary things LaVey excluded from his wretched Satanic Bible was evolution! He did not want Darwin's most prevalent work of lunacy to be made known as a Satanic teaching, because it would hurt it's public acceptance!

What I am telling you all is true! Please, I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!

Aeolin, CARM 42 Comments [11/30/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 11
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2
Mike

\"Earlier today I recieved a most disturbing telephone call from my great grandson. He recalled to me the start of his public summer school courses. He told me of his science class teaching about evolution and natural selection. Like any good Christian, I was uphauled!

OH NOES!

How dare they instill the lunatic notions from a man who has been under growing suspicion of being the secret founder of modern Satanism!

It's a conspiracy!

Some here may know of the damned soul by the name of Anton LaVey who went public with Satanism in the 1960's, however, it all began in secrecy in the 19th Century by Charles Darwin!!! YES! IT'S TRUE!!!!!

Not true. At all.

It quickly and oh so quietly spread throughout the globe from secret encoded Satanic texts that could only be read under the influenc of demons and unclean spirits. Than one man decided to adopt the teachings as his own and went public. One of the primary things LaVey excluded from his wretched Satanic Bible was evolution!

'Cause science is teh devil!

He did not want Darwin's most prevalent work of lunacy to be made known as a Satanic teaching, because it would hurt it's public acceptance! What I am telling you all is true! Please, I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger! \"

Quick the white coats are coming to get you aeolin!

12/1/2006 12:27:24 AM

Distind

\"It's true because I say so, because I say so, Because I say so!\"

I really do need to actually write that song down at some point. Though I really can't stand the showtuney pace it has to it.

12/1/2006 3:19:04 PM

hairband

I'd like to haul her somewhere....

12/1/2006 3:31:26 PM

Rysith

Or, you know, Charles Darwin was a very religious man who was reluctant to publish his book because of its theological implications, and it had nothing to do with satanism at all.

12/1/2006 3:40:11 PM

NotMe

If revealing the source puts you in great danger, and publishing the info doesn't, what does it say about the \"secret organisation\" that'll be out to get you?

12/1/2006 3:44:09 PM

Coffee

\"Like any good Christian, I was uphauled!\"

You mean they hauled you up to the rest home after this little outburst?

\"YES! IT'S TRUE!!!!!\"

SHE USES THE CAPS OF TRUTH!!! WE MUST BELIEVE HER!!!

\"...do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!\"

Do you mean that if you reveal your sources they'll haul you away to the nursing home, or do you mean that if you investigate your sources you'll be in danger of discovering it's all malicious lies?

I find it amusing that this paranoid bibble-thumper chose a name honoring Aeolus, the Greek god of wind. Maybe she's admitting she's an airhead.

12/1/2006 3:50:10 PM

SaneChick

Somebody forgot to take their meds.

12/1/2006 4:44:32 PM

Pike

I'm \"Uphauled\" at her complete detachment from reality!

Seriously, how do people sink to this dreadful state of thinking anyway? It's seems to be the same old story - She has paranoid fantasies about how evil is taking over the world, then believes them to be true. Believing in something is all the proof she needs, the same as believing in religion without evidence is proof enough. It's the way these people are trained to think in a non-critical way, and that's what is truly appalling!

12/1/2006 4:49:09 PM

Current

\"By me doing so, I will be in great danger!\"
First, that is the trademark of having no source at all
Second, by you doing what, exactly? You were talking about your interlocutor asking you something, so you \"doing so\" is a reference to nothing.
Third, you meant revealing your sources? Because why would you be in more danger by revealing your source than by \"exposing the truth\"?

12/1/2006 5:09:33 PM

Pix

Sorry, I still don't believe you. Clearly you haven't used enough exclamation points.

12/1/2006 6:01:41 PM

Zipperback



What I am telling you all is true! Please, I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!

...of being exposed as a tremendous liar.

12/1/2006 6:38:27 PM

Ed

Do your great grandson a favor and stay far, far away from him.

Also, Satanism doesn't involve the worship of Satan, dumbass.

12/1/2006 8:16:41 PM

cerebulon

Le Vey's books are a joke. I have read lots of 1920's-40's Weird Horror fiction. I have also read and own the Satanic Bible and the Satanic Rituals. Both volumes contain verbatim plagiarized portions from Lovecraft, Howard, Machen, Derelith and more. Both books are ridiculously uncreative and pathetic. I have debated for years whether or not to write a Necronomicon just to show these idiots what a cursed book really looks like.

12/1/2006 9:11:43 PM

MAGPie

To where was she hauled up?

12/1/2006 9:53:26 PM

Julian

NO! IT'S NOT!!!!!

Please don't inquire to my sources because you will in grave danger of immediate physical harm if you try.

12/2/2006 1:00:32 AM

David D.G.

Have we given out a \"Lying for Jesus\" Award yet for November? Because this great stinking pile of B.S. would be hard to outdo for it.


~David D.G.

12/2/2006 2:06:22 AM

AriseNow

Earlier today I recieved a most disturbing telephone call from my great grandson. He recalled to me the start of his public summer school courses. He told me of his science class teaching about evolution and natural selection.

Good for the boy, learning the sciences is one of the most interesting things to do in this world.

Some here may know of the damned soul by the name of Anton LaVey who went public with Satanism in the 1960's, however, it all began in secrecy in the 19th Century by Charles Darwin!!!

Slander, I say!

I beg of you, do not inquire of the source of this information. By me doing so, I will be in great danger!

Too late, they've come to take you away...

12/2/2006 2:19:38 AM

Dan

This isn't a parody, by any chance?

12/2/2006 5:30:37 PM

Homer

\"Like any good Christian, I was uphauled!\"
By this reasoning, the heads of the Anglican and Catholic churches (and presumably all of their followers) are not good Christians.
That's at least 80% of all Christians defined as not good Christians.

12/2/2006 5:37:22 PM

Umbrella

Science classes teaching... *GASP* SCIENCE???!?!?!!111!! HOW DARE THEY.

12/2/2006 7:15:04 PM

Redhunter

'Uphauled' is hilarious!

At least fundies are attempting to make up excuses for why they fail to cite a source.


Da debble-people are comin' ta git me!

12/4/2006 9:53:19 AM

nostromo

Good thing I have my special Christian mind-reading powers that allows me to know all that my God knows!

12/5/2006 5:08:45 AM

Robbie

Poe. No way he couldn't be.

6/11/2007 4:11:58 PM

Punchy

ROTFLMHO!!!

6/11/2007 4:58:37 PM

Puck

Paranoid much?

Your own delusions are your greatest danger, Aeolin.


6/11/2007 5:08:36 PM
1 2