Quote# 1829

Left-handed people ARE sinners! "Left-handed" people ARE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE. ANY "left-handed" person can CHOOSE to write with his or her NORMAL hand. READ YOUR LEVITICUS. THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY does NOT want left-handed people, homosexuals, or men who have had vasectomies in HIS HOLY TEMPLE.

Vera Carp, VoyForums 54 Comments [12/1/2002 12:00:00 AM]
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Lick'em

.. my balls. DO IT!

11/30/2005 12:31:59 PM

Rime

Left handed people are the only people in their right minds. And when I choose to write with my right hand, it looks like it was written by a five-year old, and it takes me three times as long.

How much do you want to bet Vera Carp doesn't follow the whole code of Leviticus?

Then again, it might just be some sarcasm that passed the radar.

11/30/2005 4:02:12 PM

PenetratingShaftOfTruthAndSemen

They did vasectomies back in the time of Leviticus? Wow.

11/30/2005 4:06:04 PM

Puistokemisti

This has got to be a troll.

6/11/2006 12:54:20 AM

Julian

Ummmm, historically he is quite accurate.

Sinister comes from the latin sinstre - left handed.

Dextrous comes from the word for right handed. (Too lazy to look it up)

And the handicapped (including people with broken stones) were not allowed in the Lord's temple!

\"\"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. . . . a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous. Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbacked, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the Lord made by fire . . . he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the Lord do sanctify them.\" (Leviticus 21:16-23)

And yes, I call smartass troll.

6/11/2006 3:35:21 AM

They call me V

I can't take this serious, if this isn't a poe, I'll be mighty sad. I mean... left handed people... just as rational as hating gays, I s'pose, not that it says much.

2/13/2008 11:40:39 AM

aaa

Troll.

2/13/2008 12:53:15 PM

Cabraxas

Dang,,, and here I thought all humans were sinners in the eyes of the church,,,, I guess it's just us left-handers, homosexuals and those with vasectomies (err, what about women with hysterectomies?). Well then, I may as well give up on heaven and just stay an atheist,,,, oh wait,, I was going to do that anyway !

2/13/2008 1:05:40 PM

Cabraxas

Oh,,, an afterthought: If god was talking to Moses (seems he didn't speak direct to Aaron), wouldn't this be Jewish rituals? Does it still apply to Christians? Just wondering,,,,
Brokenfooted,,,, hmmm,,, drop a brick on your toe and you're banned from church? Interesting.

2/13/2008 1:11:34 PM

Freboy

And you still like this God? Amazing.

2/13/2008 1:24:49 PM

apYrs

Poe. Must be. Just enough funditude to make it seem fundie, but left-handedness.... wtf

however, how does this diatribe against the "vasectomides" square with Christ's reflections upon eunuchs??

2/13/2008 1:31:53 PM

Carbonated Margarine

If it's not a Poe, then maybe it's the same glowingly tactful customer who saw me writing with my left hand and said "You mean they allow left-handed people to work here?"

2/13/2008 2:00:31 PM

Doctor Fishcake (who is left-handed)

Cool, so I can add being left-handed to the list of ways to piss off fundies that require next to no effort on my part, along with being a man with long hair and a vegetarian. I like that.

2/13/2008 2:46:51 PM

Moondog

The Catholic Church used to teach this but not, at least, in my lifetime. See how backward she is? My Mom's best friend is a lefty, and the nuns tried to break her of this. It must be because they thought Jesus "sits at the right hand of the Father," i.e. God is right-handed, and you should be, too. I typed a paper for her years ago when I still lived at home, and her handwriting is atrocious! It's like trying to read a vague mixture of English and Arabic. Vera would have us go back to this, when 10% of the population could write with neither the right or the left hand.

2/13/2008 3:25:01 PM

Philbert McAdamia

But . . . but . . . what about Ned Flanders' left hand emporium?

When I try to write with my right hand it looks like a 3 year old retard did it, or a doctor. Hm, maybe I'm lfteh nHded/.?
No, shit, I can't even type lefty, that isn't it . . .

"Broken Stones" - Hm, sounds like an unsuccessful Rock&Roll tribute band

2/13/2008 3:26:53 PM

GigaGuess

Poe. Has to be.

2/13/2008 8:39:02 PM

Alethe

Sure, I can choose to write with my right hand. If I want to sweat over every letter and yet have my writing stay utterly secret, even from myself.

How would I then earn my keep? Deus providebit?

2/14/2008 2:43:58 AM

Um... Wow.

Poe's law anyone?

2/14/2008 3:01:42 AM

Grim

Shit. I'm righthanded. Guess I'll just have to find another excuse to skip church on Sunday.

2/14/2008 5:39:40 PM

freako104

What about ambidexterous people?

2/14/2008 5:49:38 PM



Then WHY DID HE MAKE THEM?

2/14/2008 6:29:52 PM

Caustic Gnostic

What about all the boys with the mutilated penises?

2/14/2008 6:32:16 PM

anti-nonsense

I call poe. No way somebody could be this stupid.

And I write with my right hand and throw balls with my left, what does that make me?

2/14/2008 8:04:26 PM

Cabraxas

@ anti-nonsense,,,,, throw balls? Is that what they're calling it these days? lol

I guess it makes you like me - ambidextrous, and by Vera Carp's definitions,,, probably bisexual, amphibious, bi-directional, bi-polar,,,,,,,,, and rejected.

Or just unique in some way,,,, like all of us.

2/14/2008 10:30:24 PM

Red Cat

So, a God who makes you blind, lame, flat nosed, infertile or left handed, then REJECTS you for being blind, lame, flat nosed etc etc.

Sounds like a prick.

2/15/2008 7:31:15 AM

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