This is a great way of spreading the gospel also...
48 comments
Many of those people you think are accepting your proselytizing are gracious, polite people who realize you are a 14-yr-old with serious problems. They're placating you, humoring you, etc.
Dear Tolkien...
That's brilliant! Next time one of them damned telemarketers call, I'll try to convert them to Cthulhu!
Or maybe StarCraft. Telemarketers are probably on a first name basis with the great Old Ones.
That would be really, really annoying.
Especially if you speak like you type. The phone line would fray.
Oops, sorry, my bad. I was looking for the Seventh Day Adventists.. anyway, nevermind, have I told you how your soul is in jeopardy?
That's seriously pathetic. There's nothing meaningful or spritual about it; just some crazy Funie dumbass preaching to you through the phone.
Although, I don't know if I'd hang up if someone did that; maybe I'd humour them for a while, and string them along.
Step one: ask "No, please tell me more!"
Step two: place the phone on the desk and casually walk away.
I propose a new award catagory:
Next telemarketer who calls me gets converted to Erythnal, God of Slaughter.
MY FAMILY AND I!!!
*froths*
And that is why they made this very useful button that is usually pressed by the horn. It has two advantages:
1. Moving the horn away from your head and towards the button reduces the exposure to nonsense.
2. Once the button is pressed the nonsense will stop all together.
It's a win-win situation.
Of course, have you never had the sensation that, mysteriously, not many people have misdialed the number lately?
Is this girl idiot enough not to tell the difference between genuine acceptance and politeness?. One thing I wonder, how does she know they have accepted Jesus?, after all,neither she nor the anonymous caller knew each other and more probably, she hasn't reasumed the contact, how can she know if, after the call, they carry on with their life?
Well it can't really be a telemerketing for jesus award cos she's not actually ringing anyone
but if people are willing to wave away this objection we should make it Telemarketing for Christ, because it has the same abbreviation as the site it comes from.
Think about it.
oc course you like what Isaiah said, isn't he like your bethroted or so? You MUST like what he says of else ...
But I'll take on the idea next time someone calls me accidentally (does happen maybe once a year) and I tell them fairy tales too...
Genious Idea - from now on I answer the phone" Church of Satan, Lilith speaking ...
...Y'know, I've pulled some good ones on telemarketers m'self, but this is good.
And Ashley Brianne would be hilarious to mess with, too.
@hollio: probably more surreal than awkward. it reminds me of calvin from calvin and hobbes answering the phone and saying
"hello? is that luigi's pizzas? No? Sorry you must have dialled the wrong number"
Hey, Ashley Brianne, has this ever worked? I'm sure that just like every other proselytising scheme you've ever had, this one has been a gigantic flop because nobody wants anything to do with your completely fucked up brand of religion.
Coundn't you have used someone more creative than Jesus? Jesus is so old.
How about Lord Voldermort? Then you can say something like, "...And if you become a Death Eater in the next 5 minutes, We'll give you a free broomstick!"
I've actually done something like this, where I accidentally called a fundamentalist. They pulled this shit, and I just switched the phone over to my speaker, blasting The God That Failed at them until they cried.
I've tried similar tactics on telemarketers.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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