Quote# 36155

One of Eliza's friends is a professor-sounding chimpanzee (voice of Tom Kane) named, what else, Darwin. In keeping the with thrust of Darwinism, all the animals are as articulate and intelligent as humans. Each is even as experienced and practical as humans. Darwin reminds Eliza there is only 2% difference between his DNA and hers. Maybe there is only 2% difference between human and ape DNA, but it might as well be 200%. Apes are still not human. Never were. Never will be. And never were we apes *because* of that 2% difference. And that is as if DNA is the only thing that separates us from the apes. There is also that non-empirical entity called a soul which apes do not have. That God used similar design parameters in creating the physical host does not make us apes. Indeed, God placed us above all that moves on the planet. [Gen. 1:28]

Capalert, Capalert 45 Comments [3/12/2008 2:08:57 PM]
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inmate22841

A cartoon where they call the ape "Darwin" and he points out that humans and apes are different.

Whats your problem?

Fundies have been portraying Darwin as a monkey for years.

3/12/2008 2:11:34 PM

Horsefeathers

"Apes are still not human."

Actually, humans are apes.

"Never were."

Always have been.

"Never will be."

Always will be. At least modern humans. Humans in the far, far, far distant future could possibly be classified as something else.

"And never were we apes *because* of that 2% difference."

You know that doesn't mean a hell of a lot when classifying us as apes, right? Hell, Chimps and Gorillas probably differ more than 2% from one another (in fact, I'm almost positive of it). They're both still "apes" though.

"And that is as if DNA is the only thing that separates us from the apes. There is also that non-empirical entity called a soul which apes do not have."

Provide evidence of this "soul" you claim exists, otherwise cease making such stupid claims.

"That God used similar design parameters in creating the physical host does not make us apes. Indeed, God placed us above all that moves on the planet. [Gen. 1:28]"

Provide evidence of this "god" you claim exists, otherwise stop making such stupid claims.

3/12/2008 2:25:09 PM

Kristine

Now, wait. Capalert is too easy. You could just post any sentence from any of their movie "reviews" here.


Kristine

3/12/2008 2:29:27 PM

tmr

More issues with fiction. Come on folks; fiction is, by definition, NOT REAL.

3/12/2008 2:51:40 PM



Who taught you to read?. Didn't you realise what fiction is and that PRECISELY evolution states that we're not monkeys, only RELATIVES of them?

3/12/2008 3:00:04 PM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Ugh, I hadn't discovered that particular cesspool of lunacy known as Capalert before today.

It's a veritable fount of madness, but for me the thing that takes the cake is their objection to absolutely any depiction of anything they deem "bad", even if the depiction is negative or has the purpose of denouncing it. It takes a special kind of childish idiocy to think like that.

I'd just love for somebody to ask those insane fuckers to rate their own damn bible some time - by their own inane standards it'd score worse than anything they've reviewed to date. Fuck, by definition it'd get the worst possible rating, as they rely on the depictions it provides in order to determine what to denounce!

Edit: Ok, I tell a lie. this takes the cake: Well, we don't "miss the point", we ignore it.

They're fucking proud of their bizarre ability to disregard the spirit of the law and focus exclusively on the letter. They even slated Passion of the Christ because it violently depicted the crucifixion! How the fuck could you tell the story without doing that? On a scale from 1 to Timecube, they're fucking demented!

Second edit: Check out their review of Mary Poppins - special pleading of the worst kind in order to give a perfect score to a film depicting things they've absolutely panned others (like Harry Potter) for - levitation, magic, etc. I can't quite figure out why they'd bend over backwards to cast a blind eye over that one, and savage everything else - maybe the guy who runs the site just has an overwhelming Julie Andrews fixation.

3/12/2008 3:01:24 PM

Blackvoice

Please show me one of these souls... preferably in a bottle, for easy viewing.

3/12/2008 3:09:38 PM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

"... There is also that non-empirical entity called a soul which apes do not have. ...

There is just as much evidence that other apes have a soul as there is that apes of the human variety have a soul.

3/12/2008 3:25:54 PM

Mister Spak

IOW I don't care about the facts.

3/12/2008 3:30:02 PM

NecroVMX

One of Eliza's friends is a professor-sounding chimpanzee (voice of Tom Kane) named, what else, Darwin.

=Here we go with the fucking cartoons again...

In keeping the with thrust of Darwinism, all the animals are as articulate and intelligent as humans.

=Clearly you don't know shit about Darwinism.

Each is even as experienced and practical as humans.

=CARTOON CARTOON CARTOON

Darwin reminds Eliza there is only 2% difference between his DNA and hers. Maybe there is only 2% difference between human and ape DNA, but it might as well be 200%.

=How the hell can there be a 200% difference? A 100% difference would mean no strands are the same. So what would a 200% difference be?

Apes are still not human.

=Nobody has ever claimed that apes are human.

Never were.

=Outside of those Planet Of The Apes books and movies, no one has ever claimed that apes used to be humans.

Never will be.

=No one but shithead fundies trying to flaunt their flawed interpretation of evolution has ever claimed that apes will be humans.

And never were we apes *because* of that 2% difference.

=We were never apes because there still are apes. The 98% similarity shows that we share a common ancestor though.

And that is as if DNA is the only thing that separates us from the apes.

=Well it's pretty much all that matters.

There is also that non-empirical entity called a soul

=No there isn't.

which apes do not have.

=And humans also, did not have.

That God used similar design parameters in creating the physical host does not make us apes.

=Once again, no one ever said we are apes.

Indeed, God placed us above all that moves on the planet. [Gen. 1:28]

=Or rather we got to be above all that moves due to evolution.

3/12/2008 3:41:51 PM

Mattural Selection

It's FICTION! Fiction fiction fiction fiction fiction fiction! Get it thru your fucking fundy skull. Cartoons are fiction!

3/12/2008 3:52:36 PM

werewolf

You don't have any proof for your arguments, do you? You can't even prove you have a soul.

Nice try, but, next time, provide proof.

3/12/2008 3:53:06 PM

Doctor Whom

Why do you specify "non-empirical"? Is there something about this soul thingie that you'd prefer not to admit, like ... oh, I don't know ... your complete inability to prove that we have it and the other apes don't?

3/12/2008 4:17:49 PM

TheOutsider

[citation needed]

3/12/2008 4:37:37 PM

Mog

I like how CAPalert talks a little tiny bit about the movie/show they're reviewing and then goes on a huge tangent. In. Every. Review.

Protip: It's a show about a girl who can talk to animals. Thus, animals speaking to her isn't OMG SOME KIND OF EVOLUSHUN!11 I'm guessing the producers named the chimpanzee "Darwin" in an attempt at, you know, humor - something you will never understand.

3/12/2008 4:40:46 PM

booley

Uhhh, this guy is talking about a cartoon?

Better not tell this guy about David Brin's Uplift series where Humans genetically engineer Chimpanzees and Dolphins to Sapiancy (and the primary bad guys are religious fundies)

Though he is right. we are not Apes. We are Hominids, which are closely related.

3/12/2008 5:16:13 PM

onoma

1. 200% = YOU FAIL at percentages.

2. We don't have souls or ghost or Martians inside us.

3/12/2008 5:26:24 PM

Lou

Stop bastardizing my childhood memories, you cunt.

3/12/2008 5:32:30 PM

antichrist

Well since you people missed the magic that gave her the powers to talk to animals, you fail.

3/12/2008 5:42:32 PM

SweetViolet

I must say, these guys are remarkably inventive. Almost every day they come up with some brand new form of stupid!

3/12/2008 5:49:51 PM

Don'tLookBehindYou

Wow. Now they're attacking Nickelodeon. It's the Wild-Fucking-Thornberries. Not Satan.

3/12/2008 5:55:37 PM

Quantum Mechanic

"non-empirical"

imaginary

3/12/2008 5:59:55 PM

Brenz

You know, there are certain species of birds that are visually indistinguishable, yet have different song patterns. Their DNA is actually further distant from each other than ours is from chimps.

I have no point to make except that's as cool as your ire is stupid.

3/12/2008 6:20:20 PM

Osiris

Isn't the idea of the show that she can talk to animals and no one else can and that it's a cartoon and you're reading too much into it. For fucks sake I hope your kids are smarter then you.

3/12/2008 6:21:32 PM

anevilmeme

Aren't humans by definition apes?

3/12/2008 6:34:34 PM

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