Quote# 36549

When parental authority is rebelled against, it opens the door to come against all constituted authority. Honoring those who are over you, those who are honorable (especially parents) releases a special hormone from your brain, permeating your body, that gives long life. If you don't do this that hormone dries up and your bones dry up. The disobedient don't live long. The life span of a homosexual is about 40 years. This is not because of AIDS. They die of a bad conscience.

Elbert Eugene Spriggs, Twelve Tribes-EX 74 Comments [3/21/2008 11:23:51 PM]
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cheese007

[citation needed]

3/21/2008 11:30:00 PM

Wok in the ACT

Not so much a fundie as ... an idiot.

3/21/2008 11:38:18 PM

TheRowan

Riiight... I guess I'd better hurry if I want to get myself in Elton John's will then...

3/21/2008 11:40:08 PM

Syckls

I just studied the endocrine system in preparation for the USABO semi-final. It's odd, but I didn't even read anything about an "authority hormone." Then again, fundies are always privy to revolutionary biological knowledge that is not accepted by mainstream science. Too bad, eh?

Oh yeah, just so you know, Richard Dawkins is 67 years old, and Ian McKellen is 68.

3/21/2008 11:40:29 PM

aqualung


3/21/2008 11:44:14 PM

Old Viking

Thank you, Elbert. I try to learn something new every day.

3/21/2008 11:44:30 PM

Septic Sceptic

"Honoring those who are over you, those who are honorable (especially parents) releases a special hormone from your brain, permeating your body, that gives long life. If you don't do this that hormone dries up and your bones dry up. The disobedient don't live long."

"Dammit doctor, can't you do anything for me?"

"I'm afraid not. Every one of your major organs are shutting down, your bones are now entirely powder, you have gangrene in every appendage on your body, and when we took a blood sample, it burned through the needle like acid. You are going to die."

"I'm dying? So much left undone! How I wish I could have spent more time with my family!"

"Wait, you don't spend time with your family? Get this man a phone... ok, now call your mother and be nice to her."

"Erm, well if you say so doctor... mum? I'll get that job at the bank if you want. And i'll stop dating that girl you didn't like..."

"The gangrene is receding! You're cured!"




Some said that this was the point when House jumped the shark...

3/21/2008 11:46:09 PM

DW

Lifespan of 40 years....hmm there are plently of famous people that are gay that are way older then 40, I even saw a TV show about sex and the war (refering to the second world war) were they were talking to a dude who was 85 and was gay

3/21/2008 11:49:46 PM

Nirjuana

You fail at biology and physiology and pretty much everything else

3/22/2008 12:00:17 AM

Quaffer

This is so out there, so insane that o'l Elbert has to be a Poe. Either that, or this is one of my new favorites.

Unthinking respect for authority = Long Life

HA!

3/22/2008 12:00:35 AM

Pavlov's Dog

Wow, Elbert, you're a genius!

3/22/2008 12:01:58 AM

anatiedaephobic

Special hormone? From the brain? WTF?

3/22/2008 12:16:07 AM

Lunalelle

That is one of the biggest piles of bullshit that I've ever read.

3/22/2008 12:18:09 AM

Mike


3/22/2008 12:20:12 AM

POSW


3/22/2008 12:22:40 AM

Doctor Whom

I'm close to six years overdue. Then again, maybe my queer brain is so deviant that it secretes this magical, unnamed hormone whether it should or not.

3/22/2008 12:24:34 AM

LabRat

I always wonder about the teen years of idiots like this.

3/22/2008 12:32:34 AM

Sideshow Bob

My former landlord's son, who happens to be gayer than (insert exaggerated example of real or implied homosexuality here), would like a word with you. [He's 46]

3/22/2008 12:40:34 AM

cyborgtroy

Fundies secrete a special hormone in their mouths which is chemically identical to bullshit.

3/22/2008 12:43:25 AM

Seamus D

Not very fundie, just grossly misinformed and socially retarded.

3/22/2008 12:43:59 AM

JustinGG

You're dumb.

3/22/2008 12:49:43 AM

werewolf

Good to know. By the by, what is this special hormone called? It must have a name if it's so goddamned important.

3/22/2008 12:51:29 AM

Illuminatalie

Pity the people who have to listen to this guy in real life.

3/22/2008 12:55:29 AM

approximate

A conformity hormone? Glad I was born without it.

3/22/2008 12:57:13 AM

Elia

Who the hell is this oatmeal-brain and why is he allowed near a computer?

3/22/2008 1:03:19 AM

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