"another thing that could be fueling your urge to masturbate is demons"
Oh for heaven's sake!
Masturbation is a natural, HEALTHY thing to do. Look, it even improves the health of your prostate! It has benefits! And if you believe God created everything, then He created masturbation and sex to be healthy!
Furthermore... demons? Seriously?
When it doubt... blame it on demons, Satan, homosexuals, or Democrats.
8/7/2008 6:08:08 AM
I'm turning my head fucking TOWARDS half-naked girls!
Also, what he said.
8/7/2008 6:54:44 AM
If these guys are turning their heads away from half naked girls Deliverance is probably just gonna make them want to masturbate more, especially that ... you know ... that 'one scene'.
8/7/2008 1:13:55 PM
I need deliverance... from idiots like this!
And while we're on the subject of delivery, I'd like a pizza. Hawaiian with extra cheese, please.
1/13/2010 1:51:30 PM
Christians: Making you ashamed of natural impulses for over 2000 years.
2/4/2011 7:52:05 AM
"I'm turning my head fucking TOWARDS half-naked girls!"
Amen to that. None more so than the late great Goddess of Glamour, Bettie Page:
'Being in the nude isn`t a disgrace unless you`re being promiscuous about it. After all, when God created Adam and Eve, they were stark naked. And in the Garden of Eden, God was probably naked as a jaybird too!'
PROTIP: ^ She was a Christian, YourChild. Yet she had no problem whatsoever with posing naked, nay, even in BDSM tableaux.
Enjoy your eternal blue balls, YC. Meanwhile, I'll continue to crack one off to pics of Bettie, Marilyn Monroe, et al. Reducing my chances of contracting prostate cancer by 80%.
2/4/2011 8:39:35 AM
This post made me hard.
2/4/2011 10:32:01 AM
"another thing that could be fueling your urge to masturbate is demons."
BOOOOGA BOOOOOGA BOO!
2/4/2011 10:42:36 AM
The one thing that's certain to make the spirit of lust leave me is a damn good wank.
2/4/2011 11:08:41 AM
Thanks, YC, for reminding me to renew my subscription to Bigguns.
Ahhhh, Bettie! Now, if I were inclined to 'worship' somebody . . .
2/4/2011 11:10:40 AM
Half naked girls, good.
Completely naked girls - much better.
2/5/2011 1:34:33 AM
I'm a woman, and even I don't turn my head away from half-naked girls. Sure, if it's in the changing-room at the gym I turn my head away from them.
Constantly thinking about God? Seems a bit boring to me.
Seek the starving and the dying of treatable diseases instead, that way you could actually make a difference in this world.
God made us to "be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth". In order to fill the Earth you do need a bit of lust and perhaps some adultery too. Monks and nuns don't fill the Earth.
2/5/2011 2:42:58 AM
Answers in a row:
No, not turning heads away from half naked GUYS (since i'm gay),
My mind is not constantly thinking about god, since i believe there's none of that sort. However, i often think about this fucked up world, and try to do my little bit that i can to make it better.
Nope, can't hang me as a reborn christian either. Never.
My urge to masturbate is simply the fact, that getting an orgasm feels absolutely fucking mindblowingly awesome and is good for my physical and mental health. No demons needed.
The thing i need, is to get nutties like you off my back.
Thank you, have a nice day.
2/5/2011 3:30:16 AM