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Quote# 40174

the first thing to ask is...are you guys turning your heads away from half naked girls? is your mind constantly thinking about God and about this dying world and about the ways in which you can seek the lost? I thought that was supposed to be the mentality of every reborn Christian? another thing that could be fueling your urge to masturbate is demons. spirit of lust and spirit of adultery...it could very likely be that you need deliverance from these oppressions.

YourChild, Christian Forums 13 Comments [5/31/2008 10:59:49 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: KatAutumn
WTF?! || meh
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Zachski

"another thing that could be fueling your urge to masturbate is demons"

Oh for heaven's sake!

Masturbation is a natural, HEALTHY thing to do. Look, it even improves the health of your prostate! It has benefits! And if you believe God created everything, then He created masturbation and sex to be healthy!

Furthermore... demons? Seriously?

When it doubt... blame it on demons, Satan, homosexuals, or Democrats.

Sigh.

8/7/2008 6:08:08 AM

Felis >:3

I'm turning my head fucking TOWARDS half-naked girls!

Also, what he said.

8/7/2008 6:54:44 AM

Tomby Stone

If these guys are turning their heads away from half naked girls Deliverance is probably just gonna make them want to masturbate more, especially that ... you know ... that 'one scene'.

8/7/2008 1:13:55 PM

Crimson Lizard

I need deliverance... from idiots like this!

And while we're on the subject of delivery, I'd like a pizza. Hawaiian with extra cheese, please.

1/13/2010 1:51:30 PM

Dr.SteveBrule

Christians: Making you ashamed of natural impulses for over 2000 years.

2/4/2011 7:52:05 AM

Anon-e-moose

@Felis >:3

"I'm turning my head fucking TOWARDS half-naked girls!"

Amen to that. None more so than the late great Goddess of Glamour, Bettie Page:



'Being in the nude isn`t a disgrace unless you`re being promiscuous about it. After all, when God created Adam and Eve, they were stark naked. And in the Garden of Eden, God was probably naked as a jaybird too!'

-Bettie Page

PROTIP: ^ She was a Christian, YourChild. Yet she had no problem whatsoever with posing naked, nay, even in BDSM tableaux.

Enjoy your eternal blue balls, YC. Meanwhile, I'll continue to crack one off to pics of Bettie, Marilyn Monroe, et al. Reducing my chances of contracting prostate cancer by 80%.

2/4/2011 8:39:35 AM

JohnTheAtheist

This post made me hard.

2/4/2011 10:32:01 AM

jas43

"another thing that could be fueling your urge to masturbate is demons."

DEMONS!!!!

BOOOOGA BOOOOOGA BOO!

2/4/2011 10:42:36 AM

rw23

The one thing that's certain to make the spirit of lust leave me is a damn good wank.

2/4/2011 11:08:41 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Thanks, YC, for reminding me to renew my subscription to Bigguns.

@ Anon-e-moose
Ahhhh, Bettie! Now, if I were inclined to 'worship' somebody . . .

2/4/2011 11:10:40 AM

Justanotheratheist

Half naked girls, good.

Completely naked girls - much better.

2/5/2011 1:34:33 AM

Swede

I'm a woman, and even I don't turn my head away from half-naked girls. Sure, if it's in the changing-room at the gym I turn my head away from them.

Constantly thinking about God? Seems a bit boring to me.
Seek the starving and the dying of treatable diseases instead, that way you could actually make a difference in this world.

God made us to "be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth". In order to fill the Earth you do need a bit of lust and perhaps some adultery too. Monks and nuns don't fill the Earth.

2/5/2011 2:42:58 AM

KR

Answers in a row:

No, not turning heads away from half naked GUYS (since i'm gay),

My mind is not constantly thinking about god, since i believe there's none of that sort. However, i often think about this fucked up world, and try to do my little bit that i can to make it better.

Nope, can't hang me as a reborn christian either. Never.

My urge to masturbate is simply the fact, that getting an orgasm feels absolutely fucking mindblowingly awesome and is good for my physical and mental health. No demons needed.

The thing i need, is to get nutties like you off my back.

Thank you, have a nice day.

2/5/2011 3:30:16 AM
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