Quote# 52156

Guy Ritchie has been re-united with his sons for the first time in weeks, but the meeting reportedly came with a list of 12 strict rules from estranged wife Madonna.

The rules insist that Ritchie must allow the boys to only drink Kabbalah water - spring water that has been blessed by Kabbalah religious leaders.

They also forbid toys that are "spiritually unsound".

Another rule: the children be prevented from looking at newspapers, magazines, TV or DVDs.

Madonna, Sydney Morning Herald 45 Comments [11/13/2008 4:30:48 AM]
Fundie Index: 8
Submitted By: Hadron

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a mind far far away

It's nice to see that fundyism isn't just a phenomena of the poor and uneducated, but the rich and uneducated as well. Even Hollywood isn't immune from it's sting. Just as well, most actors are full of themselves and have too much money that goes to nonsense anyway, just like fundy christians.

11/13/2008 4:34:44 AM

Jay-Sus

I have the sudden urge to start singing Like A Virgin.

11/13/2008 4:52:48 AM

HoJuSimpson

? I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me! ?

11/13/2008 4:56:32 AM

BCD

Bitch is crazy.

11/13/2008 4:58:08 AM

Viva

People like these shouldn't have children

11/13/2008 5:08:25 AM

Reverend Jeremiah

Yeah, I studied (not practiced) the Kabbalah.. and that is the only way it can survive. Honestly, look it up and see for your self on google. Any HINT of science or common sense in its followers and the mysticism is ruined.

www.jesuschristarcade.com

11/13/2008 5:15:29 AM

Osiris

Fuck yeah! Kabbalah fundies. We need more of you guys.

11/13/2008 5:30:37 AM

anonymous

"the children be prevented from looking at newspapers, magazines, TV or DVDs."

cnn.com
google.com
Bittorrent + thepiratebay.org

Sounds like a plan, in fact, that's basically how I live. Except for the water.

11/13/2008 5:39:29 AM

Nowonmai

Madonna always has been, and always will be a whack job.

11/13/2008 5:42:34 AM

Mortok

Kabbalah Water: Now with 10% more lunacy than the next leading brand.

11/13/2008 5:45:31 AM

myheadhurts

Bet she wouldn't be able to tell the difference between my tap water and her blessed water. Wouldn't it be easier on everyone if the Kabbalah religious leaders blessed the oceans and skies. Except for ancient ice melt, I think that would save a lot of time.

11/13/2008 6:05:57 AM

Athar

Hmm I spent a good majority of yesterday reading a field guide to demons. Very interesting read, all bollocks of course but I now know that if the succubus Lilith attacks me all I need to do is contractually divorce her and she'll be banished back to whatever dimension she came from. Eden as it were.

However I came across a passage concerning a scottish aquatic centaur call the Nucklevee a being who breaths on vegetables and makes them wither. Apparently being an entity from the sea, seems to make him weak against fresh water the banishment ritual being fresh bottled spring water thrown at it.

Doesn't Madonna live in Scotland? Seems to me she's just preparing herself and her children for an encounter with the Nucklevee.

The again maybe she just a religeous wack job just like everyone else.

11/13/2008 6:11:43 AM

Antichrist

But she's rich and famous so she must be right! Right?

11/13/2008 6:20:36 AM

Captain Obvious

What are they putting in that water? I bet it's Crack. Or Acid.

11/13/2008 6:25:33 AM

aaa

Dumb celebrities, now dumber.

11/13/2008 6:26:22 AM

apYrs

not really fundie, just batshit insane.

But it's Madonna, one of the biggest egos still standing

11/13/2008 7:47:28 AM

Paschal Wagner

HoJuSimpson: I'm not sorry, it's human nature.

11/13/2008 8:56:50 AM

Psittacosis

Another rule: the children be prevented from looking at newspapers, magazines, TV or DVDs.

Yeah, or they'll find out what a fucking nutter their mother is.

11/13/2008 10:01:24 AM

Dan Onymous

What's the betting that the next Guy Ritchie film will be about a bunch of cockney Fathers4Justice doing some sort of blag that goes hilariously wrong?

11/13/2008 10:46:34 AM



In the immortal words of Judge Roy Bean, "There is nothing more 'righteous' than a reformed whore".

11/13/2008 12:31:38 PM

Mister Spak

Is Madonna a fundie?

11/13/2008 12:52:04 PM

Dr. Funkenstien

"Another rule: the children be prevented from looking at newspapers, magazines, TV or DVDs."

That's Madonna's rule? Madonna who's been featured in newspapers, magazines TV and DVDs?

11/13/2008 1:10:25 PM

gargoyle1

A celebrity that is a loony-tune; big surprise there.

@#814031: You mean she's reformed?

11/13/2008 1:16:58 PM

Hasher

Get too old to be the Material Girl and so you start messing around with Medieval Jewish fairy tales and a red string round your arm trying to convince us all you're deep and spiritual. Pity kids get dragged in.

11/13/2008 1:23:49 PM



I've always said celebs shouldn't be allowed to have kids. They always do stupid shit like this and/or give them stupid names.

Why are so many celebs mental/assholes?

11/13/2008 1:43:42 PM

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