(Pedo rapture fundie porn)
"No silly, the black chips! These are supposed be the chocolate chip cookies remember?" <ruffles his son's hair>
"Perfect, thanks! Sweetie, where's the big pan?"
"Here Ashley, can you hand this to your dad?"
"Daddy, who gets these cookies? Are these for the neighbors too?"
"Not these, remember the family we took the food to last weekend? That's who these are for!"
"I like them, can we take the puppy a treat too?"
<pan slams to ground>
"Daddy? MOMMY? What was that?"
"You heard it? What about you sweetie? The trumpet?"
<giggle> "It tickles!"
"Do you feel the tingling? Don't be scared, remember what we've been telling you? It's time! Here, let's hold hands! Don't be scared!"
"PRAISE the LOOOOOOOOOOOORD!"
Tres Wright, RR 95 Comments
[12/12/2008 8:47:50 PM]
Fundie Index: 18
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12/12/2008 8:49:51 PM
Oh god please don't ever, ever, ever write any more fanfiction.
12/12/2008 8:50:08 PM
Weird, and very uncomfortable.
12/12/2008 8:52:24 PM
Bad fanfic. Needs to be sporked.
12/12/2008 8:53:17 PM
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
12/12/2008 8:53:42 PM
12/12/2008 8:55:15 PM
12/12/2008 8:56:40 PM
It's a WTF goldmine! The whole thread is full of bad rapture fanfiction! Comedy gold here people, comedy gold.
12/12/2008 8:57:05 PM
Allegory for Jesus
Did you turn into a ghost during the middle of that word, or something?
12/12/2008 8:58:52 PM
Dude! What did I TAKE last night? That was like, totally incomprehensible!
12/12/2008 8:59:09 PM
12/12/2008 9:00:31 PM
These people are pathetic. I would comment further but I feel it's bad form to make fun of the mentally handicapped.
12/12/2008 9:02:18 PM
This is just bizarre. What is this little story supposed to say to us?
12/12/2008 9:04:17 PM
I can see the article in the paper the following morning:
Authorities say the Wright family would be alive today if they'd had a carbon monoxide detector in their home.
12/12/2008 9:05:13 PM
12/12/2008 9:06:48 PM
Whatthe... I... it... WHAT?
12/12/2008 9:07:21 PM
Well we know these people aren't from Rapture Ready cause they never give anybody anything except a hard time and condemnation.
12/12/2008 9:07:24 PM
This is the strongest argument a fundamentalist has ever made against drugs.
12/12/2008 9:08:43 PM
At least they're baking cookies for the homeless instead of using the toilet this time.
Oh, Obama didn't get raptured in their story. Whoddathunk? It seems that the Raptards were the only ones preventing him from turning the country into a police state and after the Rapture, we'll be hit by bombs from the Middle East. Golly!
12/12/2008 9:10:26 PM
I think "the Three Bears" is way better as a bedtime story, even the version I told my little brother where the bears divided Goldilocks into a big piece, a medium piece, and a baby-sized piece.
12/12/2008 9:13:30 PM
Satanically, I began reading this backwards:
12/12/2008 9:13:57 PM
Well now, that was disturbing on multiple levels.
12/12/2008 9:15:03 PM
Must sign off soon as rush is coming ohgodohgodohgod get'em all off me! They're everywhere, and green! WERPOWERJP$#@&*$&@&&$(*&#@&Y@#&($#
Whew. The rush always gets me that way.
12/12/2008 9:17:02 PM
12/12/2008 9:18:02 PM
Moral lesson: watch out for hallucinogenics in chocolate chip cookies.
It is just wrong to feed these to children.
12/12/2008 9:19:46 PM
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