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#889096
ClockworkBunny
It sure is worth it! :]
2/9/2009 4:10:32 AM
#889106
jc
A dictionary from 1605, HOW RELEVANT!
2/9/2009 4:13:07 AM
#889112
Leth
In a word, yes!
2/9/2009 4:14:20 AM
#889116
anonymous
"like any other drug, you can never achieve the high you're looking for"
Yeah, I never got it to work right either.
Maybe I don't have the right drivers installed.
"You enter into a contractual agreement with it and it will govern your life sexually"
No... The Internet governs my life.
".it taps you on the shoulder 3 o'clock in the morning even when you don't want it."
Why the hell would I masturbate if I didn't want to?
"You cry, you repent and say you won't do it any more but you find yourself molesting yourself again"
o_O whut
"Its appetite is ferocious and it will not end until it dominates"
No, I usually give up when I get bored or have to go do something else or whatever.
"Is having sex with yourself even worth it?"
Well it's better than doing nothing.
2/9/2009 4:18:21 AM
#889117
Potentate Argyros of the Gaystapo
Have I been drinking? Nope!
I thought I must have been because this makes no fucking sense, as does anything else when I'm drunk. So the conclusion must be that "Dr." Ty must be a few neuro-transmitters short of a functioning brain.
Personally, I love it when MASTERbation comes a knockin' at 3 AM. It would be totally rude to turn away my guest at that time.
Even James fucked in the head Dobson isn't this goddamned fundie! Even he says masturbation is not harmful, unless it consumes your every waking moment.
2/9/2009 4:18:24 AM
#889123
Alex
One of the "doctor's"readers has the solution: "Heres a simple solution. If you already have kids or dont plan to have them. Go get your testicles surgically removed. Itll save you the hassle and the trouble of dealing with the temptation."
That seems extreme. And how could I properly enjoy all the marvelous online porn without wanking?
2/9/2009 4:21:43 AM
#889125
FundieBasher
Is having sex with yourself even worth it?
Hell yeah it is. But then, I'm pretty good at it. And I'll even cuddle with myself afterward so I don't feel used.
2/9/2009 4:24:45 AM
#889138
Zoo
Sounds like someone has a problem, but doesn't want to admit it so he's projecting it onto normal people to make himself feel better.
2/9/2009 4:38:13 AM
#889151
Orion
Is somebody a compulsive masturbator?
2/9/2009 4:45:45 AM
#889168
Observable Reality
Whoa! "Three seconds of ecstasy?" You obviously aren't doing it right if that's all you get.
2/9/2009 4:53:51 AM
#889191
QT
FAP FAP FAP
2/9/2009 5:04:46 AM
#889209
ToEtheline
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! Dont demonise the 'batin
And if you only get 3 seconds of ecstasy per wank - you are doing it wrong!
2/9/2009 5:13:33 AM
#889213
Beeblebrox
You enter into a contractual agreement with it and it will govern your life sexually.
I was unable to sign the contract because my right hand was full. Very full.
Am I the only one who thinks this sounds like a self-confession on the part of Ty?
2/9/2009 5:15:43 AM
#889224
Zimmer
Feels good man.
2/9/2009 5:20:24 AM
#889225
John_in_Oz
It's sex with somebody I love.
2/9/2009 5:21:19 AM
#889250
Thinking Allowed
If it means keeping away from your sadistic and cold-hearted christian god, then yes.
2/9/2009 5:44:07 AM
#889259
A Friend
Medicine books from 1605 say to use leeches to drain your blood when you get sick. No more doctor visits for you.
2/9/2009 5:48:21 AM
#889264
It will control your intellect, your reasoning, your judgment of things, and your own significance and leave you trapped in a mind full of warped sexual fantasies.
You seem to be doing fine on that front without masturbation.
2/9/2009 5:52:13 AM
#889278
PokeWithStick
I jizzed in my pants.
2/9/2009 6:05:14 AM
#889282
God Is Real Unless Declared Integer
My poor BRAIN!
2/9/2009 6:10:07 AM
#889291
Atheist Amy
Alternatively, you could just accept it as part of the normal human experience and not feel so consumed with it and ashamed about it.
2/9/2009 6:31:48 AM
#889300
Beltaine
"Self abuse from the 1605 Etymology dictionary..."
believe it or not, we've learned a few things in the past 400 years....
2/9/2009 6:44:46 AM
#889305
C in TX
How come these nuts are so obsessed with sex?
2/9/2009 6:46:24 AM
#889315
Elm
Oh God!! Oh God!!! Oh God!!! I'm coming for you!!!
Oops, I think I just had an orgasm.
Hey I did try praying but it didn't stop me.
2/9/2009 6:52:17 AM
#889340
enna
WTF.
Someone actually thinks this way! D=
You know, none of that conflict and agony would exist if you realize practically everyone does it, it's completely natural, and it doesn't harm anyone.
2/9/2009 7:15:59 AM
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