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#925962
jenovatrix
Bow-chicka-bow-bow....
3/19/2009 3:01:39 PM
#925963
Ozzie
Born Again Porn at it's best.
3/19/2009 3:05:05 PM
#925964
Lord Mushroom
Heh, 2 millenia.
If it only took six days to create the earth, imagine what 2,000 years will do to fill his chamber with sound proofing, a-frames, loops, chains, pulleys, whips, straps, dildos, plugs, bondage tape, DVDs, plasmaballs, clamps, 12V batteries, aligator clips and Barry White cds.
Wait, is your god actually Fritzl? Enjoy.
3/19/2009 3:06:19 PM
#925965
Agnostic Antagonist
Just when you think they can't get any stupider...
3/19/2009 3:06:24 PM
#925966
Zeus
If he created the entire world in six days, what the f*ck's up with it taking him 2,000 years to build one honeymoon chamber?
3/19/2009 3:06:32 PM
#925967
Berny
You Rapture Retards need to get laid more often. You're fantasies are getting tiresome.
3/19/2009 3:09:17 PM
#925968
seraphicreverie
Wow. Later in the thread one of them goes on to make a joke about how she won't have to worry about fitting into a wedding dress because in heaven everyone will have perfect bodies. Is that really all this is, a pathetic fantasy where you tell yourself over and over again that when you die, you won't be fat, ugly and stupid anymore, so you can be an ignorant, uneducated sloth in this world and not feel bad about it?
Wait a minute, this is RR. Why am I even asking questions like this?
3/19/2009 3:10:38 PM
#925969
Tormentor of Religion
If god is eternal... and he created light AFTER the earth... it would've sucked to be him before that.
3/19/2009 3:11:06 PM
#925970
Hell Kitty
Sounds like a song by the band "Getting Gay With Jesus"....
3/19/2009 3:11:22 PM
#925973
The Loser
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap oh yes I've failed at this life but I can just fantasize about the next one fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap oh jesus fill me with your love yeeeesss fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
And what about the males? I thought Jebus hated faggots?
3/19/2009 3:17:37 PM
#925974
Agnostic Antagonist
@The Loser:
Jesus has a mom, doesn't he?
3/19/2009 3:19:54 PM
#925979
Higgs Boson
So all heaven is for is so Jesus can have an orgy with every Christian woman ever alive for all eternity?
His sacrifice was truly great!
3/19/2009 3:23:33 PM
#925984
Amanda
God has been planning an orgy for the last 2000 years? Sure, that's much better than curing disease and poverty.
3/19/2009 3:30:23 PM
#925990
Nausea
Yeah... and the weird bride of Christ thing gets way, way weirder.
3/19/2009 3:36:28 PM
#925993
John
All you have to do is believe that Jesus was the Son of God and accept him as your personal savior (even if God gives you cancer or wipes out your town with a tornado). If you do, you may have a crappy life, but you’re guaranteed a fine spot in heaven after you die. You can kill, rape or do almost anything else (except get an abortion, be a homosexual or vote for Obama); but as long as you believe in Jesus*, you’ll be among "the saved" and go to heaven.
Then you can watch and snicker at all those latte-sipping Yankee liberals who made ten times as much money as you and got all the good looking women and Superbowl tickets while they're moaning and gnashing their teeth in the Lake O' Fire®. Plus, you can have any pickup truck you want, even a big-ass Ford 550 Supercab with the 7.3L Powerstroke and "Smoker" exhaust stacks. And everything at Wal-Mart is on sale for free! Whoopie!
* extra credit for attending a fundamentalist Baptist church or one of its various lunatic-fringe independent evangelical offshoots ...
3/19/2009 3:40:25 PM
#925995
Headache
Where is he shopping at? Victoria's Heavenly Secret?
3/19/2009 3:41:41 PM
#926002
Wait, does that include dudes as well? Because then it's...you know...an abomination. God said so.
3/19/2009 3:53:57 PM
#926008
Painful
This has really gone way too far... honeymoon chamber dreams now?
Ewww....
3/19/2009 4:07:58 PM
#926009
Eden
So does this mean that god is having a bisexual orgy with every saved man and woman on earth after Rapture?
3/19/2009 4:11:09 PM
#926010
anti-nonsense
Somebody loves Jesus a bit too much.
3/19/2009 4:11:27 PM
#926011
Classic
I... I always thought that was a metaphor of some kind.
...
...
The RR people don't universally believe in a literal "interpretation" right?
3/19/2009 4:11:43 PM
#926015
mike-mike
Rock me sexy Jesus.
3/19/2009 4:16:24 PM
#926018
anti-nonsense
Somebody loves Jesus a bit too much.
3/19/2009 4:20:29 PM
#926024
Nowonmai
And each one of you fundies think you are gonna be God's bed partner. Make it Pay-Per-View, ok?
3/19/2009 4:26:17 PM
#926028
Whitleylad
Obviously one big love in!
Although from what I understand about Christianity on massive collective disappointment.
Makes Hell somewhat very appealing!
3/19/2009 4:29:03 PM
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