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Quote# 60847

Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well. It was a hard battle but was won. It was about four months or more ago. My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel and Leviathon had come up. I told the angel that i wanted to fight this demon and he said I could. On the way back to the hotel I asked the angel if he could bring the demon to a predestinated place and he said yes. I figured that since Leviathon was from the depths of the sea he would be used to the cold water so I filled the tub up with scalding hot water and blessed the water. The angels (there were two now) brought Leviathon bound to the tub and fought with me. We all pulled our swords from our hips and began running this demon through with all my strength and everything I had. I would say it took atleast half an hour or more. We were all spent but the battle was won.

nautical999, Ministering Deliverance 602 Comments [3/24/2009 9:03:36 PM]
Fundie Index: 666
Submitted By: Comassion
WTF?! || meh
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ModernBunny

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa that site (Ministering Deliverance) is either a lovingly elaborate hoax or proof that the internet has produced an entirely new breed of weird.

3/24/2009 9:07:44 PM

Captain Obvious

So I'm guessing that our fundie here had some vivid hallucinations then convinced two of his friends to kidnap a random person from a McDonalds so that they could tie them up in a bathtub and stab them to death?

I think the police might wish to know something about this incident.

3/24/2009 9:11:23 PM

Shadow Boxer

Bonus points for extreme commitment to the delusion!
Wow...!

3/24/2009 9:11:30 PM

Sapphire Wolf

Question why didn't the angels just kill it themselves? They're warriors aren't they. Plus he fought something that was bound and couldn't fight back. How weak is that.
And yeah I know he's a Liiiiiar

3/24/2009 9:17:55 PM

Fanatic-Templar

Leviathan fits in a bathtub?

Oh, wait. It's Leviathon. False alert.

3/24/2009 9:21:14 PM

Jodie

Lying for Jesus!

3/24/2009 9:27:04 PM

SurfinSeaOtter

Can I buy pot from you?

3/24/2009 9:30:49 PM

Epic Wolf

..What the fuck did you take?

Interesting fantasy.

3/24/2009 9:40:28 PM

werewolf

As a matter of interest, were the swords made of rubber or plastic?

And did you ride off into the sunset afterwards on your little wooden horsey?

3/24/2009 9:47:09 PM

Dio Fa

Somebody get me a shovel!

3/24/2009 9:49:45 PM

Giveitaday

It's either Lying for Jesus(TM) or an amazingly unlikely confluence of schizophrenic delusion embodied in an otherwise coherent and capable individual. In small simple words that even the Ministering Deliverence crowd can understand... Quit. Lying. For. Jesus.

The only thing you are acomplishing is to make your religion look like the province of the disturbed and deluded, every word in this post does nothing to credit and everything to discredit christian fundamentalism. Now thats not a bad thing for humanity, but it is for any mentally unstable people that get caught up in your little fantasy and end up inflicting real harm on themselves of others.

3/24/2009 9:52:27 PM

Jadehawk

soo... the "angel" stole a poor dolphin out of the local aquarium for you to torture and kill...?

3/24/2009 9:53:16 PM

Will B.

Oh man, the exact same thing happened to me, once! But before I could use a healing potion, the jerk of a Dungeon Master threw a Beholder and a Balrog at me, at the same time! Can you believe it? My Dwarf Fighter died, obviously, but at least I still have my Level 12 Paladin in the other campaign I'm playing with a WAY cooler Dungeon Master.

3/24/2009 9:54:10 PM

Painful

What the hell? OK, most of this is standard fare from what you'd expect from MD normal delusions... but SWORDS? Shit. What if someone reads this and actually uses a damn sword on someone? (Or, what if this is what was already done?)

This crosses the line. Hallucinating for jebus is fine, but this is most definitely cause for a "Check the Wellfare" call to the local authorities as this is clear indication of hurting one's self or others. This is one of the few times I wish you could report this to the police - for everyone's safety.

3/24/2009 9:55:51 PM

Clown

Translation from crazy fundie talk: me and my wife ate in McDonalds. That was bad, since I started hallucinating the moment we got out of there (probably the chicken). I've filled the tub with hot water and tried to puke (felt sick as hell. Damn two days old chicken!). It was hard battle, but I've finally made it, puking into bathtub and pulling the plug out of tv.

3/24/2009 9:57:00 PM

ausador

My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel...

Riiiiiiiggggght...

3/24/2009 10:01:15 PM

Giveitaday

It's either Lying for Jesus(TM) or an amazingly unlikely confluence of schizophrenic delusion embodied in an otherwise coherent and capable individual. In small simple words that even the Ministering Deliverence crowd can understand... Quit. Lying. For. Jesus.

The only thing you are acomplishing is to make your religion look like the province of the disturbed and deluded, every word in this post does nothing to credit and everything to discredit christian fundamentalism. Now thats not a bad thing for humanity, but it is for any mentally unstable people that get caught up in your little fantasy and end up inflicting real harm on themselves of others.

3/24/2009 10:14:23 PM

Giveitaday

How in the hell did it double post 25 minutes apart?

3/24/2009 10:17:47 PM



What the fuck?

3/24/2009 10:30:30 PM

Equalist

Okay, the first indication that this is a hallucination is that he thought he was hanging out with an angel at mcdonalds. Seriously, was it just craving the hell out of a big mac or something?

3/24/2009 10:38:54 PM

Eden

So, if it took you (2 angels and yourself) half an hour to win against this demon, how were the 2 angels then able to bind this demon first place and bring him to a location of your liking?

3/24/2009 10:41:34 PM



Poor schizophrenics. :(

3/24/2009 10:41:41 PM

Mephistopheles

Leviathan is describe as a sea monster in the Bible, not a demon, dumbass.

3/24/2009 10:54:03 PM

Evil Pirate Captain Mel

Now THAT is comedy!

3/24/2009 11:08:40 PM

Dark_Lord_Prime

I can believe you guys all missed the most obvious answer:

This guy and his wife met this guy in a bi-sexual or gay chat room online, they met at a McDonald's to work out particulars.

Later, the guy and 2 friends met the first guy and his wife at the hotel, where they proceeded to have gay sex for half an hour, until they collapsed in a heap.

The "sword fight" and "We were all spent" bits are blindingly obvious.

3/24/2009 11:16:53 PM
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