We have issued forth two prophetic warnings about the bridegroom ravishing his bride BEFORE the 22nd of september 2009 and then about the bridegroom ravishing his bride ON the 20th of september 2009 (between 11am and 6pm).
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DELAYING, God is DELAYING.
We don’t understand WHY, or how long, but God is DELAYING.
This IS the SEASON and that was the appointed DAY, but God is DELAYING (the bridegroom is tarrying).
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BULLSHITTING, Raptards are BULLSHITTING.
We understand WHY, and what for, Raptards are BULLSHITTING.
This IS the INTERNETS and it is full of NONSENSE, and Raptards are BULLSHITTING (the chimps are flinging poo).
We have issued forth two prophetic warnings about the bridegroom ravishing his bride BEFORE the 22nd of september 2009 and then about the bridegroom ravishing his bride ON the 20th of september 2009 (between 11am and 6pm).
I've been to many churches that spoke of Jesus coming for his bride (the church). But none talking about him "ravishing" her. Are you sure you don't have some kind of hard on for Jesus?
WAAAAAHHH... why won't Scotty beam me up!
WAAAAAAAHH... oh right the Enterprise hasn't been built yet.
But your rapture is never going to happen. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, star trek will happen, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA, or not.
Normally I laugh at fundies and their constant cries of, "The end is nigh! The Rapture is upon us!"
At times though it becomes tiresome. You can only laugh at a people's idiocy for repeating the same misatakes over and over again so many times....
...God is DELAYING (the bridegroom is tarrying)
He's being held by airport security as a potential terrorist.
Revelation 6:8 And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
God is DELAYING because he wants all you rapture 'TARDS to SUFFER as much ANXIETY as POSSIBLE.
This I know as God lives down at the end of my road and we use the same pub. I know him pretty well by now - at least we are on a first name basis (I bet you bunch of Holy Joes didn't know that God's first name is Jeremy - he hasn't a clue where all this Yaweh business comes from, possibly some of the early prophets were hearing impaired).
Maybe he's tired of you guys predicting when it will be when he supposedly said nobody will know when it's coming? Seriously, if he really comes back, it being on the day you predicted isn't going to make the idea he was coming any more correct. Get on with your life already.
'tain't the first time he's delayed. He's already 2,000 years late with his promise to return. So what's new?
And still they don't get it. Irrationality is more pernicious than death.
Doesn't the Bible say that nobody will know the day blah blah blah?
So, even if you believe in the Rapture, "prophecies" about the date seem kind of moot.
wow, that's just wow ...
first coming out and admitting you we're wrong....
and consequently .....
turning it around and explaining you're utter failure away with 'sorry, dudes, but god is dragging his feet, we were right all along, it just didn't happen.... yet ... please stay tuned! We expect a new communique from ceilingcat any moment now ...."
I bet you're employed by a railway company:
"Ding, dong .... Yahweh's heaven express limited will be arriving at platform 6 in 5 minutes ....." :)
I must admit, pretty slick going for 'delaying' as delaying is indefinite, now at least that inconvenient thing called reality can't prove you wrong.
And reading the comments from your sheeple I think your little trick worked, they go for it hook, line and sinker.
@Gate & Lory
This IS the SEASON and that was the appointed DAY
Appointed day? I thought it was "You shall know not the day"
Or you could pay attention to what Jesus fucking said about nobody knowing the hour, stop obsessing over the end of the world, and strive to become a better Christian and make the world a nicer place.
Oh wait, I forgot. That takes actual work.
"(the bridegroom is tarrying)."
thrust, parry, tally-ho!
for some reason i'm reminded of the looney tunes cartoon where daffy duck plays a very inept robin hood and every time he tries to parry and thrust with his staff he ends up bonking himself in the face and his bill gets bent upward. i've always loved that one.
So what you are saying is that the "code" means diddly squat because god can change his mind at any time.
I thought you lot claimed that your god was omni-everything. Why would he "delay" or "tarry"?
On another note - "issued forth" and "ravishing his bride"? Did you cum?
Who the heck is the bridegroom? And why are you so concerned that he is ravishing his new wife? Are you some sicko who wants to watch or something?
As for DELAYING, God's been delaying for around 2000 years now. I bet he just fell asleep or forgot about it or something. Maybe his alarm didn't go off.
So, basically, you're just going to claim your right despite the fact that nothing you said would happen actually occurred?
You must be in government work.
I like to PUT random WORDS in all CAPS because then PEOPLE might think I have SOMETHING worthwhile to SAY.
Admit it, you were spewing bullshit from start to finish, just like every other fucking rapturist in history.
Hey, Hate & Boring, why don't you send Jesus some Viagra? Then maybe he'd be ready to get down with the ravishing.
P.S. The "between 11 p.m. and 6 a.m." part is classic! Keep up the stupidity.
@enna
It's sexual repression. Sexual pleasure is a sin, remember? If it feels good, stop, that's their motto.
This is a growing trend among fundies. They insist they're right to the degree that the Bible is wrong. See also the Conservapedia Bible Re-translation project.
If he existed then I suppose he would be delaying...but since he doesn't exist, you are going to be waiting for...I dunno, until you die. Sorry, you are gonna miss the Rapture that'll never exist!
Sorry,the second coming has been indefinitely postponed.
It seems Jesus looked down and saw crosses being put up everywhere. It made him nervous and he left.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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