I know what you are feeling. I had an addiction to masturbation before I became saved. The Lord personally stepped in and helped me stop it for good. Satan tempted me with it many times as well after I quit, but what kept me away from it was my desire to honor God more than do things that displeased Him. My advice to you is pray to the Lord to protect you and give you strength. Remember that we are in Christ, and we are to live to be like Him. You don't want to give Satan something to be happy about, you want him to lose. The longer you stay away from it, the less he will tempt you with it, and the "feeling" of it will start fading faster.
88 comments
But why would somebody masturbate their mind with fantasy to such an extent so as to completely alleviate the dreaded symptoms of reality. The cultish authorities are like porn peddlers and the sheepish followers are like porn consumers. Of course, all would be well if that consumption was moderate but the cultish drones tend to over-indulgence.
And let's not bring that utter wimp Satan into this, he couldn't make a flea fart. Anyone who allows themselves to come under the sway of Satan must be a particularly weak-willed or clueless individual.
@i love masterbating: Okay, OED40, we know it's you. We get it. 9_9
"You don't want to give Satan something to be happy about"
Named his penis "Satan"? Now that's a true fundie.
"The longer you stay away from it, the less he will tempt you with it, and the "feeling" of it will start fading faster."
Um, no it doesn't work that way. Usually the more you do it the less you'll want to do it until the feelings build up later. It's kind of like a pressure valve on a steam engine. Best to let some steam off once in a while instead of letting the whole thing blow up.
And as long as you're not masturbating 10 times a day or in public or any other inappropriate places/times, there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, it prevents prostate cancer and keeps people from unhealthy sexual behavior like sex with random partners.
One of the things he or she doesn´t realise is that to our body, the chemicals we release during those sessions are the same with the coital regular ones. That´s why, later on, they have problems in their wedding night. Ok, don´t masturbate if you don´t want to, but don´t mingle Satan and the such because, well, you´ll see what happens with your willy.
@ #1082564:
I was going to say OCD...and The Stupid. This particular spammer is suffering devastating incompetence due to being infected with a terminal case of The Stupid.
Sadly, there doesn't seem to be a cure.
Isn't there a way to block his ISP?
@Spammer: If you like it so much, go do it instead of spamming! Sheesh...
And on topic: Masturbation can be relaxing (it literally takes the pressure off) and I'm willing to bet it keeps a lot of men who don't regularly get some from jumping the first women they see. Besides, it reduces the chance of prostate cancer so you even have a good excuse!
And we all know that 95% of men masturbate and the other 5% are liars.
I... think it might be time for a captcha on this site.
As for the post... yeah, I don't believe him, at all, that he's stopped.
I really don't understand the mind of a fundie, and I've lived with them. They say you're saved by faith alone, so that gets them out of actually doing any good in this world, then they turn around and have a bunch of arbitrary laws that you must follow, that are not really in the bible.
~ no masturbation? The closest quote to that is Onan, who wasn't masturbating at all, he was using the withdrawal method, thereby "stealing" his brothers inheritance.
~ No alcohol? Drunkenness is frowned on, but there's a far cry from having a glass of wine with dinner and drunkenness.
~ Vote Republican?
~ Abortion? The only place that abortion is even mentioned in the bible, is the OT (which isn't supposed to count) and it says that abortion is only a crime if the father wanted the baby.
~ and many others.
So yes there is a lot of "works" involved, they're just not the "works" mentioned in the bible.
Edit:
@ Phloom
My ex didn't masturbate (really) most miserable SOB that walked the earth.
I was wondering why it had 437 comments, but I see a majority of them is a spam.
Either way, have fun with your blue balls!
I think somebody's bored, and got a bit of software for Xmas.
Hopefully he'll get bored of the game and fuck off, unless he's a serious spammer trying to clog up the site
Not surprising at all, a recent study found that "Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study finds." (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680-porn-in-the-usa-conservatives-are-biggest-consumers.html ), also this...
image
More evidence? Just look at the bazillion pagese of spam that have just popped up in the last two threads - just screams "conservative, Christian, right wing, sexually repressed" and very probably "virgin"!
i love masterbating to blond russian models
Well, at least he admits to being a jerk-off - the first step toward solving a problem. If he's doing it with software, it must be that cheap Chinese Walmart shit. He needs to upgrade the spell checker to one that knows how to spell "masturbating".
Well, I suppose that I'm evil right across the board because:
1) I masturbate;
2) I'm a woman (oops, I'm not supposed to have sexual urges, am I?);
3) While being heterosexual, I like girl-on-girl porn;
and 4) I don't believe in this god/satan nonsense. Luckily for me, I don't have to feel guilty, as you do!
you know, he has a point - you can get addicted to masturbation. but hey, all things in moderation, right?
I dunno what's sadder, the fundie, or the troll. It's like seeing a suffering animal, you just wanna shoot it to save it more pain...in this case it'd be to appear less stupid
It looks like somebody just discovered iMacros. Damn, that's a heaping pile of spam.
Edit: Also a very, very bad attempt at trolling. You want to see real trolls in action? Watch a /i/ raid in progress some time. They can knock entire websites on their asses in a matter of hours. And that's before they bring the site down with the Low Orbit Ion Cannon.
I do so love that I inspired our spammer to man up and reach the mighty goal of 1000 posts.
Tell me, are you always this easy to manipulate?
"The Lord personally stepped in and helped me stop it for good"
If you want to increase your chances of contracting prostate cancer - one of the biggest causes of death in males (testicular cancer being the no.1), fine.
It's been clinically proven that masturbating regularly reduces said chances of prostate cancer by at least 80%
Enjoy your (C)Rapture. Or your slow agonising death. Whichever comes first. No sweat off my bollocks. Either way, you're put out of my misery.
Duplicate post is fixed?
MUST TEST THIS THEORY.
edit: haha, test failed!
Duplicate post is fixed?
MUST TEST THIS THEORY.
All Americans are cunts. All atheists are arseholes. All teenagers are whiny little shits. FSTDT is run by and for American atheist teenagers.
Case closed.
Ouch. For the record, I'm 24. TWENTY-FOUR. Do you hear the word "teen" in there anywhere?
Also, many of the regular posters on this site (myself included) are far from whiny.
All Americans are cunts. All atheists are arseholes. All teenagers are whiny little shits. FSTDT is run by and for American atheist teenagers.
American? Nope
arsehole? Not according to the people who know me
teenager? Hell I'm closer to the seniors discount
Or you could always do what Origen, the early church father did...
When he had done it, he could never become a father! But he was never again bothered by erections.
Wait, God physically came into the room? I thought that wasn't his MO. Also, God sure seems to care a lot about what people do in the bedroom...nope, that's just fundies and bigots. No one else actually cares.
Teenager? I'm closing in on the half-century mark.
And I have no evidence that the spammer is female, but since everyone else referred to it as male, I thought I would provide some balance. Women can be idiots, too.
If you don't want to masturbate, fine, it's your body. But claiming that jerking off means Satan "wins" is the depth of lame. Grow up.
Prayer is nothing but masturbation!
It doesn't accomplish anything,
no one gets hurt (as long as you do it right), and once you get done, nothing has changed, but you feel better.
At least the "finish" part of what I do is WAAAAAY more fun than talking to the ceiling...
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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