May I be so bold as to voice an objection, an objection based on the divine communications of my Holy Lord to my humble self, to wit, will rescuers please cease their efforts against God's will.
Whenever God wreaks His Holy vengeance in an area of the world, it causes Him great discomfort to find assorted firemen, policemen, military figures, relief workers, aid agencies, charity workers, government aid workers, rescuers and helpers of all types interfering in His great plans.
So could all you fundamental cultists out there please join me in a prayer to our most Holy Lord God that He will prevent or strike down all who attempt to give aid and succor to the victims of His most glorious and Heaven sent biblical insanity.
PRAYER TO DELAY AND PREVENT RELIEF (AND CAN WE HAVE OUR TAILS BACK PLEASE?)
O Heavenly Superluminal Immensity please hear our humble Earth bound twitterings.
We ask that you pass a little of your inconceivable and ultimately unknowable wisdom on to us your insufferable and ungrateful pets.
Please give us the strength to accept with good grace and our heartfelt prayers your awesome intentions as you cause destruction and wreak havoc on our deserving fellows. Deserving of your displeasure, that is, God.
Give us, your woefully inadequate but willing servants, the strength to prevent firemen and rescuers from attempting to thwart your Godly desires.
Could we just say, O God, that we love your mysterious ways, and applaud your enigmatic pursuits.
Also, O dear Lord, could you please try and find a moment of your time to give us our, and all future generations their, tails back. As we would so love to wag a tail, like the lowly dogs that we are, with every mention of your glorious name.
Amen
