AT I-HOP—INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER KANSAS CITY this past week . . .
God began touching folks’ teeth.
And one fellow had a full set of dentures . . . and they suddenly began to feel uncomfortable like there was something under them. He took them out and soon found he had a whole set of teeth growing in. I think they grew in fully before the evening was over.
I could stand that!
Once in a church 35 years or so ago I was standing next to a friend in the sound booth during a visiting evangelist’s ministering . . . teeth being one of the things that tended to be touched in his services. And my friend starts feeling a spot turn warm in his mouth just like the evangelist warned about. So he went to the men’s room to check and sure enough—there was a new filling and he didn’t even know he needed one.
The evangelist said he had no idea why God filled some with gold, some silver and some just got new teeth.
Interesting . . . sounds like God’s humor, to me.
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And not a single person in the audience had the wit to record this 'miracle' by taking photo's or video.
God moves in mysterious ways, his dentistry to perform.
Surely he has something better to do with his time, like smiting paedophile priests and ordering Pope Joe to compensate their victims.
Sorry, Quix, lying for Jebus is still lying. See you in the Lake of Fire(tm) someday. I'll be the one on the inflatable lounge chair sipping whiskey and maggots.
sounds like God’s humor, to me.
Sounds more like your bullshit to me.
Maybe that's too harsh. I mean, after all, this was at an I-HOP prayer meeting in Kansas. You know, that black hole of intellect and rationality in the USA.
Lying for Jesus, I see. Funny how God is a dentist all of a sudden. The only way I could actually believe God did this were if the guy who grew new teeth died from cancer a couple days later.
"I mean, after all, this was at an I-HOP prayer meeting in Kansas. You know, that black hole of intellect and rationality in the USA. "
Hey, that's not fair! It's only the 2,818,717 idiots who spoil it for the other 30 of us.
Okay, then the guy with the dentures can very easily go on CNN and bring both his former dentures and his dental records. Not only does he become world famous but he also saves the souls of billions. It's a win-fucking-win. In fact, forget CNN, ANY news organization (except FOX, who was demonstrated in a court of law to be lying and to have the right to continue lying) will do.
Not only that, but his new teeth can chew through cinder blocks!
He now fights crime as THE CHOMPER! Dispensing pearly white justice to Kansas City!
Meanwhile in much of the world, gawd can't grow millions of innocent children a full belly or provide them with inexpensive medications for easily preventable diseases.
It wasn't god or prayer that did it...it's the patented Miracle Crystals that the teeth people used for their amazing repairs!
For the paltry sum of $1000 per M-Crystal, you too can skip the $10,000 dentist bill and restore your own teeth! Act now!
"God began touching folks’ teeth.
And one fellow had a full set of dentures . . . and they suddenly began to feel uncomfortable like there was something under them. He took them out and soon found he had a whole set of teeth growing in. I think they grew in fully before the evening was over.
I could stand that!"
I couldn't (Even if what you claim happened (which I seriously doubt; pics or it didn't happen, Quix). Sounds Like God = Christian Szell (from the film "Marathon Man"):
image
"Is it safe?"
"Interesting . . . sounds like God’s humor, to me."
God has such a wonderful sense of humor. He spends his time crafting teeth for Americans living in comfort while millions of innocent children starve to death and live lives filled with agony in poor countries around the world.
It's pretty funny when you think about it.
I-HOP . . . prayer meeting?
Listen, God's not gonna save you from a heart attack if you eat nothing but those breakfast specials, so quit it nao.
"I mean, after all, this was at an I-HOP prayer meeting in Kansas. You know, that black hole of intellect and rationality in the USA."
Ouch, that hurt. I'm from Kansas and I'd like to think I have plenty intellect and rationality. Besides, this was in Kansas City, a city that sits in two states.
See what I've never understood about statements like this is: If these things happen and apparently they happen at your will, why do dentists still bother?
Same with YEC, why do geologists bother, or better, how do they stay employed if their guesses are always wrong.
Simple: BECAUSE DOING IS BETTER THAN PRAYING!!!?
That crazy God and his wacky sense of humour!spiritually all paid for. As far as evidence goes, that's a word that means exactly the same as 'made up'. However after you die I'll show you I'm not a bullshit artist. Just me and that ol' sensa huma again.
Nah, after mature consideration, I have to disagree with Quix. God's sense of humour is far sicker than just fucking with the falsies of the faithful.
Seriously? What do you take us for? Most of us on Planet Earth (which is spherical, not flat, in case you were wondering) no longer live in the middle ages and require empirical evidence to support such claims.
Hey Quix, you think if I attended a service Bible-god would grow me a porn cock? I'm thinking that I'd really like to get into that business, and with a little boost -- if you know what I mean -- I could be getting paid to fuck.
"God began touching folks’ teeth. "
That's kind of gross, feeling around in people's mouths. Hope he was wearing gloves. If he chips one of my porcelain laminates, he's paying the bill.
This person can't possibly think this is real, can he?! In a first world country, surrounded by the accumulated knowledge of thousands of years (but especially the last couple of hundred) we have people who believe this fantasy? Where have our education systems gone wrong?
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! God plays dentist in spare time.
And my friend starts feeling a spot turn warm in his mouth just like the evangelist warned about.
Are you sure he wasn't doing coke?
Basically, one of the ways to find out if a country is rich is looking at the people's teeth. And unfortunately, the poor or the people of the South are not known for those kind of, you know, miracles.
"Maybe that's too harsh. I mean, after all, this was at an I-HOP prayer meeting in Kansas. You know, that black hole of intellect and rationality in the USA."
actually, there are quite a few rational people here in kansas... most of them live at or near the university of kansas, but still, at least it's in kansas. your I-HOP friends here, on the other hand, are loacated in MISSOURI.
"Come on, people, this was in Kansas. They have tornadoes in Kansas that take people to munchkinland. How much can we really expect of this person?"
hey! as a person who actually LIVES in kansas, i'm getting tired of people implying that everyone here is retarded! especially since this didn't even HAPPEN in kansas! most of kansas city is in MISSOURI, you guys! if you're going to bash a state, at least check which state you mean to be bashing.
"Interesting . . . sounds like God’s humor, to me."
Funny, it just sounds like your vivid imagination to me.
Lies.
Lying for Jesus!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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