In a meeting in northern Wisconsin, I mentioned owls and frogs as objects which should not be in your home. The next night a school teacher came for prayer saying the Lord had convicted her to destroy her extensive collection.
When I commanded any spirits connected with the owls to manifest, her mouth dropped open and terrible wails came out. The spirits confessed they were indeed witchcraft demons. They had come in because of the pictures, ceramics and macrames of owls in the house.
Unhappily they shrieked at me, “Why don’t you ever stay home. It was so nice until you came. It’s all your fault, Worley, we hate your guts. You know what she did? She gathered up every owl in the place and burned and broke up every single one! She didn’t miss a one, and she loved us so until you came. We begged her to leave just a few, but she wouldn’t listen. She just bound us and kept right on destroying them. It’s just horrible! Now we’re gonna have to go!”
They were thrown out.
132 comments
[voice=Daria]
What's in that cup?
[/voice]
I can honestly say: I have no clue what this person is talking about/thinking of and why. Owls, frogs, demons, witchcraft, spirits... Do we live on the same planet?
Oh brother... you know, at first I thought you meant real owls & frogs, which of course you shouldn't keep real owls in your house, but frogs can be kept in an aquarium.
But ceramic owls & frogs? You gotta be kidding me. You people are so superstitious you think that having a ceramic owl is going to allow evil spirits into your house? You're crazy, that's all there is to it.
Oh and my mom has an owl picture up in her house, one that we had hanging in our house since I was a little kid, and she does not now nor has ever had any problems with demons.
I...what? A collection of owls and frogs? What the FUCK is this?
Oh, a collection of owl IMAGES and frog IMAGES. Okay, I get it now.
What the FUCK is this?
The pastor may be referring to the prophesy of Isaiah, when God will turn the land into a wilderness inhabited by owls and vultures and other such animals (but says nothing about them being inhabited by demons). The problem is that, like "unicorn", translators don't actually know what these words mean. The KJV says "owl", but this is derived from three or four different words that are translated in different versions as "ostrich" or "night creature".
Look Pastor, I know you loved that little pussycat, but it's time to get over it. She really loved that owl, and well, that owl sure did love her too. It's sad they had to elope and hurt your feelings that way, but it's been a while now, you should really be getting over your owl-hate by now.
Totally with you on the frog-hate tho..... spawn of satan?
I can't believe that I, a devout Catholic, am saying this, but the way you wrote those demons makes me feel sorry for 'em.
I met an owl once, at a bird sanctuary. He was a lot less of a dick than you. Next you'll be chucking people's grannies in the river to see if they float and if they do, burn them. Nutcase!
And exactly where, taxonomically, does the biblical definition of owl start and end? Same with frogs. Do tadpoles count? In fact you probably hate them more cos they look like big sperms and that reminds you that anything to do with sex is also the debbil's work.
I'm surprised this didn't get submitted as well, because it is just as crazy. It is in the paragraph just below.
"Frank Hammond tells of a lady who confessed the sin of mutilating her body (by piercing her ears). She then destroyed her collection of earrings in order to receive a miraculous healing from Bell’s Palsy. Pierced ears have been connected with some severe female problems also."
Yeah. Damn them earrings. Tools of the devil they are.
Homestar Runner: Strong Sad, these doomy tales of macrame aren't very scary.
Strong Sad: Oh, there's an idea!
A crafty fad, once loved by all. I'll hang you on a '70s basement wall!
Homestar Runner: Oh no! Macrame! My worst nightmare!
Marzipan: But Macrame Owl Homestar, I give you a macrame dream catcher for Decemberween every year.
Homestar Runner: My point exactly~!
--Doomy Tales of the Macabre , homestarrunner.com
"She didn’t miss a one, and she loved us so until you came."
Who was it she loved? Her family? The "demons?" Supposing your story is true. Does that mean you were using hate instead of love for another? But fortunately your story is bullshit
This is not religion.
This is medieval superstition mixed with lunacy.
Rev. Worley, if you are not a troll, go get help yesterday!
.....
WOW.
Holy fuck. Just... WOW.
Checking the original page, it looks like it's about owls and frogs being "creatures of the night". In other words, he seems to regard the NIGHT ITSELF as demonic. Hopefully he isn't going to go after whip-poor-wills next.
(Never mind that some owls, like the Hawk Owl and Burrowing Owl, are DIURNAL...)
By the way, take a look at the latter part of this article from the same place...
http://hbcdelivers.s439.sureserver.com/238
All right everyone, sing it with me:
Lying for the Lord, lying for the Lord.
They all come deceiving, lying for the Lord.
Seriously Worley, pics or it didn't happen. An owl is JUST A BIRD. A frog is JUST AN AMPHIBIAN. Every zoologist in the world can tell you this; none of them have been possessed by demons just for specializing in owls or frogs. Even other creationists understand that that is ridiculous superstition. How does it feel to be even more stupid than the average Young Earth Creationist. Not to mention that you have such low amounts of self-esteem that you have to lie about it in order to justify yourself. You are pathetic. Pathetic , I tell you!
Y'know, I'm well aware that this story is complete bullshit, but just throwing disbelief aside for a second.....I actually feel bad for the demons. I mean, it's not like we're hearing how she was tortured nightly or any of that shit. Rather, they complained outright to them man, stating that they had a nice accord going on there and were perfectly content with the world, then he came along and fucked it all up for them.
Seriously, what a dick, right?
Holy shit, this is a joke right? This can't be real. No one in the 21st century, living in the country with the world's largest thermonuclear arsenal, could possibly be this fucking ignorant.
The painter Hieronymus Bosch put an owl in virtually all his pictures. So should we burn all his pictures too? We should ? Oh right.....(Backs away slowly).
PS. Do all Americans say convicted instead of convinced ,or is it only fundies? Here in the UK you get convicted of murder or burglary.
PPS. According to some authorities the owls in Bosch's paintings also represent demons but they represent thedemonic nature of the CHURCH,Bosch being a follower of the Cathar heresy.
Owls? Frogs? What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Yes, I have frogs in the house and the garden. I have a whole lot of real live ones, too (toads, actually, but close enough) and sometimes I have to collect one from under a piece of furniture and return it outside. Silly me, instead of thinking of witches I thought it was just a somewhat lost and utterly harmless creature that needed some help getting back to where it belonged.
Like HazelHolly and Green Goblin said, if this story was true it'd make me feel sorry for the poor demons. I'd also pity the poor woman for falling under the sway of a nutjob.
As it is...
/cast Punk Grenade at self
I pity you, foo'! </Mr. T>
@LionLedByDonkeys:
"PS. Do all Americans say convicted instead of convinced ,or is it only fundies? Here in the UK you get convicted of murder or burglary."
Freudian slip, probably... :P Well that and/or Xian homskulin'.
Let's start a rumor that Jim Beam collector's bottles, Precious Moments figurines, etc. are infested with demons. How about those Thomas Kinkade paintings, with their tropical flowers growing around gnome houses? Obviously satanic.
Hmmm.... Yes, that's interesting. Oh, I forgot... I left the stove on.
*backs away slowly*
*starts runngin*
*gets in car drives away*
So.. according to your story everyone who has some knick-knacks lying around should begin shrieking and speaking in tongues upon you simply speaking to them?
Of course, about ten minutes of your company would have that effect on just about anyone if every word out of your mouth is as blatantly untrue as this load of crap.
Not witchcraft demons! Those are the worst types of demons!
Also, this guy's mind will be blown when he finds out about Bohemian Grove.
Looked at the website.
This guy is a toon.
'Hegewisch Baptist Church'. 'Hedwig' (from the "Harry Potter" books - with Hogwarts' School of Wizardry & Witchcraft'). Coincidence?
image
'There is no such thing as Coincidence in this world. There is only Hitsuzen ('Inevitability').'
-Yuuko the Dimensional Witch , "xxxHOLiC" (by CLAMP)
He'd better not watch the (classic) Don Bluth animated film "Secret of NIMH", if he knows what's good for him. The 'Great Owl' therein would make him crap his guts out in pure insane terror more surely than even Cthulhu himself - in an owl costume! >:D
@Anon E Mouse
"Not witchcraft demons! Those are the worst types of demons!"
No, Pastor, you are the demons.
And then Worley was a stripper with chlamydia, crabs and the clap.
X3
RAmen.
My family and I are covered with and in the Blood of Jesus! I am happy that these comments remain up to show how so many people are being deceived and truly don't understand. I pray for each one that doesn't understand, that Jesus will open each ones's eyes to something specifically going on in their lives that will enlighten their understanding on who He truly is, today! I pray this in the name of Jesus
My family and I are covered with and in the Blood of Jesus!
>Is reminded of the scene early on in the film "Blade"; also this classic scene in "Carrie":
image
Ugh! Sounds positively vampiric !
...oh, and no bullshit 'Metaphor' excuse allowed, neither. Either your BuyBull is literal word-for-word, letter-for-letter from Genesis 1:1 to Revelation 22:21 - in which case it's all LIES from start to finish - or it's all fable & metaphor, ergo it's purely a fairytale written by Bronze Age goatfuckers with ideas above their station.
There's a Hobson's Choice for you, o fundie nutpop. Gee, I wonder [I]why[/I] long-time Christian Jonathan Edwards recanted of said long-time beliefs & became an [I]Atheist[/I]...?! [/Doug Piranha-levels of sarcasm]
Oh, I'm afraid, o Christains, that we Atheists do understand. Only too well.
The only one deceived here: is you .
"I pray for each one that doesn't understand, that Jesus will open each ones's eyes to something specifically going on in their lives that will enlighten their understanding on who He truly is, today!"
Why the middleman?
God is omniscient and omnipotent. He COULD just appear to every single person, believer or non-, and offer direct evidence that He lives, that He has expressed his desires in the Bible, and know exactly what proof is needed to convince even the hardest skeptic that He is no delusion, confusion or brain tumor. He could even at that point detail the one truest religion on the planet.
But what you're asking for is for mundane, non miraculous things to suddenly gain divine import to make them start to believe in what can only be hoped is the correct religious tradition...
So, action from God, but not terribly miraculous action.
Once more, a believer carefully orders his universe to make sure that God's total apparent inaction can be confused for a godless universe...
Owls and frogs are beings, not objects. Oh, you mean killed and stuffed ones? Yeah, those are more objects than beings.
The Lord had convicted her? Is it you or the teacher that is poor at grammar and/or spelling?
Oh, it's not even stuffed owls and frogs, it's fabricated likenesses? Then yes, they are definitely objects.
Macrame owls? Well, they can look a bit ferocious...
image
Destroying people's handicraft is rather evil, yes.
I have a fair few owls myself, no macrame ones though. Owls remind me of Minerva, goddess of wisdom.
What about elephants? Hubby likes elephants, his man-cave has a bunch of elephants here and there. He's into memory techniques, and elephants are rumored to remember everything.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.