Quote# 82750

(In response to people asking how representatives of every species on Earth at the time could have fit into Noah's ark)

DO NOT EVER SAY THE WORDS "FIT" AND "SPECIES" IN THE SAME SENTENCE WHEN TALKING ABOUT NOAH'S ARK

Seriously. Anyone who brings up "How did they fit all the species into the Ark?" demonstrates a gross ignorance towards history and science. The people you're criticizing are laughing at you, doubled over in pain because you don't know your Aristotles from your Aphrodites.

Species weren't classified yet.

Aristotle was the one who started the classification of what a species is, and he wasn't born yet.


NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY EXCUSE FOR EVER QUESTIONING HOW NOAH FIT ALL THE SPECIES IN THE ARK

And seriously, most of you guys asking this question say you believe in Evolution, and lord your alleged scientific understanding over us small-minded theists. But you don't even know the BASICS about science, biology, or history.

Disgusting.

OrangeWizard, GameFAQs Religion Board 225 Comments [7/23/2011 9:06:45 AM]
Fundie Index: 183
Submitted By: KNessJM
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Arctic Knight

Is this in the running for "If I ignore it, it isn't a problem" award?

7/23/2011 9:11:06 AM

JustinGG

I find this adorable...

7/23/2011 9:15:26 AM

anevilmeme

So in fundieworld if species hadn't been classified yet that means different species didn't exist?

Oh and thru that synaptic misfire of a response I noticed you didn't answer the question.

7/23/2011 9:23:37 AM

SpukiKitty

FAIL!!!! *BUM BAH DAH BUM BUM!*

7/23/2011 9:29:55 AM

Street Sharks

Noah's Ark is a fable about a local flood.

Forget about fitting, how could Noah have even collected every animal on the planet?

7/23/2011 9:33:41 AM



So since Noah had never seen a Kangaroo and didn’t know what one was, then the Kangaroos didn’t need to go on the ark? And the Kangaroos somehow still managed to survive the flood? Almost like the flood didn’t reach Australia and was therefore not global?

7/23/2011 9:41:24 AM

Socob

There is a GameFAQs RELIGION BOARD? WHAT?

7/23/2011 9:52:16 AM

RoverSaysPoe

Poe

7/23/2011 9:53:22 AM

Wehpudicabok

When a rationalist is condescending and rude, they follow it up by actually answering the question. You merely say "don't ask questions like that," which is exactly the problem with your particular brand of religion.

7/23/2011 9:59:42 AM

thatotherguy

Basically what you're saying is that if someone hasn't figured out that something exists it doesn't exist. So stuff fell up before Newton discovered gravity. Until the basics of trigonometry were discovered, the hypotenuse of a right triangle could be any length.

That's just stupid.

7/23/2011 10:07:26 AM

Anon-e-moose

"NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY EXCUSE FOR EVER QUESTIONING HOW NOAH FIT ALL THE SPECIES IN THE ARK"

*Raises hand*

Er, 'scuse me.

Ever hear of the Rochambeau? It was the biggest wooden-constructed ship made to date. In 1871. It sailed only once (to it's new French owners). It was considered so unseaworthy, it never sailed again. That was in 1871. CE.

Ever wonder why no other ocean-going vessels - of that scale - have been made since then? And speaking of scale, for a ship to hold at least two of all species that exist today (one word: Labradoodles. Which didn't exist until 1988. CE.), your so-called 'Ark' would have had to be far bigger than the current largest ocean-going vessel on the planet, the Jahre Viking (which has a steel hull, natch; the Rochambeau even had metal supports to it's hull, yet was still unseaworthy).

Care to prove we, who 'don't even know the BASICS about science, biology, or (maritime) history' wrong, OrangeWizard? Just go and build us an 'Ark'; you can even use modern power tools, to make it easier for you. But with two provisos: it has to be bigger than the Jahre Viking, and can only be made of wood. No nails, screws, bolts etc allowed (they didn't exist in Noah's time, see).

Have fun launching the world's biggest ship-cum-submarine, pal

And to my knowledge, there's no mention of Noah actually being a Gallifreyan Time Lord, whose TARDIS's Chameleon Circuit had stuck into the form of a wooden ship (like that of The Doctor's, into a Police Box); neither was said 'Ark' a huge terraforming/DNA repository like the eponymous ship in the Don Bluth Sci-Fi animated film "Titan AE", nor was Noah actually the head of the Nouvlesse, who had constructed a huge terraforming/transforming ship-cum-mecha (but actually a population-carrying ship) in the Sci-Fi anime series "Kiddy Grade".

Moral: Even the Church of England (the basis of modern Protestant Christianity), and the Catholic church (to a certain extent) acknowledge that much of the Bible is purely fable and metaphor. As in it never actually happened.

Deal with it.

@Socob

"There is a GameFAQs RELIGION BOARD? WHAT?"

And then one wonders why certain sections of the internet refer to it as GameFAGs?

@Draken

"I think OrangeWizard is trolling, because later he states:

And hey, I can always just fall back on "God made the boat waterproof" or "God made the boat float"."

Or not. PROTIP: Nowhere in the Bible is there any mention of God intervening in keeping said 'Ark' afloat (pumps didn't exist then), and the concept of 'Structural Integrity Fields' didn't exist until Gene Roddenberry had created "Star Trek" in the mid-late 1960s.

The arms of fundies must be metaphoricaly like those of Atlas, with all the moving of goalposts they do.

So even if it is supposed 'trolling', then Orange Wizard's 'logic' has been blasted not only out of the water, but the space-time continuum as a whole.

I love the smell of annihilated arguments in the morning. Smells like... victory.

7/23/2011 10:21:26 AM

Draken

I think OrangeWizard is trolling, because later he states:

And hey, I can always just fall back on "God made the boat waterproof" or "God made the boat float".

7/23/2011 10:26:57 AM

dionysus

Aristotle was the one who started the classification of what a species is, and he wasn't born yet.

So I guess since a word for planet didn't exist before the Greeks, people kind of floated around in space. Because we all know that people have to come up with a concept before the physical manifestation exists.

7/23/2011 10:27:06 AM

Zeus Almighty

Isn't there a bit in Genesis about Adam naming -- classifying if you will -- the animals as Bible-god created them?
Why, yes, yes there is: "The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field." -- Genesis 2:20
Point, set, and match, mother fucker. Seriously, have you assholes ever read the fucking Bible?

7/23/2011 10:34:34 AM

John

Species weren't classified yet.

Sure they were. The Bible distinguishes between vultures, kites, hawks and eagles, all of which are in the same family; so obviously they had some system of distinguishing genera, if not species. In the modern system, humans, chimps, orangutans and gorillas are all in the same family, too.

7/23/2011 10:40:12 AM



He's the kind of person who'd ask: "What did people breathe before they discovered oxygen?"

7/23/2011 10:45:29 AM

Bollox

Obvious Poe. Caught a few, didn't he?

7/23/2011 10:49:05 AM

Headache

Did I understand this mental midgets arse gravy correctly if he thinks species did not exist during Noah because nobody had thought of classifying animals into species?

Charming!

7/23/2011 10:57:14 AM



Genesis 7:

The LORD then said to Noah, “Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation. Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, and also seven pairs of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth. Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made.”

Even the Bible disputes your assertion that different species were unknown prior to Aristotle. Try again.

7/23/2011 10:59:42 AM

Zeus Almighty

So, if dinosaurs died out before they were classified ... that means they didn't ever exist? Right?
Can I buy some pot from you?

7/23/2011 11:04:41 AM

J. James

FUN FACT: Noah's Ark was less than half the length of the Hindenburg!

Have you ever seen how huge a zoo is? They represent .0000001% of the world's species. And what about how the animals got there and back, incest, disease, invasive species, parasitic species, etc.?

I'm not even going to touch the classification thing with a ten-foot pole. The radioactive stupid would melt my brain.

7/23/2011 11:20:38 AM

Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis

"The people you're criticizing are laughing at you"

Oh, you could'nt be more wrong. Wait! What's that sound? OH SHI-


7/23/2011 11:26:26 AM

checkmate

you don't know your Aristotles from your Aphrodites.

Let's put it this way: if I ever met them, I'd want to have a long, in depth discussion with Aristotle, but I wouldn't want to waste much time talking with Aphrodite. ;-)

Now, as for the original question, how did Noah fit all the yet uncatagorized types of animals in the arc?

7/23/2011 12:09:30 PM

Old Viking

We're sorry. We didn't mean to get you so upset that you have to resort to all caps.

7/23/2011 12:20:54 PM

TGRwulf

Now answer the question jackass.

7/23/2011 12:22:58 PM

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