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Quote# 82885

to clarify my statement, i hold that the Bible is completely 100% accurate in everything it speaks about, including history. it's absoluely a history book. does it expalin all of world history? of course not. no mention of ghengis kahn or easter island. but the facts of what it does mention are totally accurate.

ImOnStandby221, RaptureReady 76 Comments [7/28/2011 3:31:24 AM]
Fundie Index: 65
WTF?! || meh
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#1315755
nutbunny

No

7/28/2011 3:34:23 AM

#1315763
Jack Bauer

the facts of what it does mention are totally accurate

Technically, this is true. By definition, a 'fact' stands by its own veracity, otherwise it would not be a 'fact'. However, I don't see any facts in that particular publication. They are as absent as the capital letters at the start of ImOnStanby221's sentences.

7/28/2011 3:40:50 AM

#1315765
Bollox

expalin

Indeed she is.

7/28/2011 3:43:14 AM

#1315766
Agahnim

So the facts are totally accurate? OK.

Oh, look, an ant. I think I'll count its legs.

One, two, three, four, five, six....

Wait, the Bible says insects have four legs. Why does this one have six?

7/28/2011 3:43:21 AM

#1315767


aaaaaargh

7/28/2011 3:44:06 AM

#1315769
Anon2

The city of Tyre was never destroyed completely by Nebuchaddnezar; and it exists still today.

There was no period in egypt history where the whole country was completely uninhabited.

We have no archeological evidence at all that the exodus ever occurred. No egyptian chronicle mentions that every firstborn died in one particular night. And the egyptians were good chroniclers.

The astronomical chronicles of the greeks, the egypt, the indians, the chinese and the meso-americans have no mention at all that the sun ever stood still. Such an extraordinary event would surely be recorded, wouldn't it?

7/28/2011 3:49:49 AM

#1315775
Passerby

Let's see. God created humans, man and woman he made them... There are hermaphrodites.

God created all animals to be subserviant to man. Step outside and watch the animal kingdom make you it's bitch.

The biblical flood has so much wrong with it, from the impossibility of the Ark to the continued existence of every civilization on Earth.

There are no talking snakes, the sky is not filled with angels, the Earth is not the center of the universe, the stars are not glowing lights on a solid ceiling.

Fail.

7/28/2011 4:03:31 AM

#1315776
Percy Q. Shunn


7/28/2011 4:06:27 AM

#1315780
shykid

Pi is not 3, I am sorry.

7/28/2011 4:17:18 AM

#1315781


"... i hold that the Bible is completely 100% accurate in everything it speaks about..."

You're wrong, and apparently very ignorant of history and science. Thanks for playing.

7/28/2011 4:18:46 AM

#1315787
Xotan

It doesn't mention either that ImOnStandby221 doesn't really know the use of capital letters!

And the OP doesn't know that the bible is quite wrong about many things. A prime example is that there is absolutely no archaeological evidence that there was ever an Exodus. Moreover, recent discoveries place the Thera volcano eruption, which had been seized on so eagerly to explain the Plagues of Egypt, has had to be re-dated, making it an impossible factor.

It is refreshing, however, that the human sacrifice of Jephtha's daughter is accepted as historical, as is the love story of David and Jonathan and Ruth an Naomi - not to mention the several genocides called for by Yod He Vav He.

As to 'expalin', is this akin to ex cathedra? And are we now expected to take that woman's words as biblical and binding? I think not.

7/28/2011 4:43:14 AM

#1315789
Mister Spak

To clarify my statement, I hold that the koran proves the bible is a lie. The koran is totally accurate in everything it speaks about, including history.

7/28/2011 4:47:06 AM

#1315794
whatever

"no mention of ghengis kahn or easter island"

Just as well, considering how appallingly inaccurate it is on the history of the area in which it was written.

7/28/2011 4:52:00 AM

#1315796
Panz

So one can view all the world from the top of a tree or mountain?

7/28/2011 4:52:17 AM

#1315797
whatever

@Mister Spak
The Flying Spaghetti Monster's recently discovered personal diaries prove the Koran to be a lie. The diaries are totally accurate in everything they speak about, including history.

7/28/2011 4:54:05 AM

#1315805
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

There are no words to convey the magnitude of fail contained in those few lines.
When you fail this big they call you epic.

7/28/2011 5:03:18 AM

#1315808
colintron

Out of order, or sort of unaligned.

7/28/2011 5:17:47 AM

#1315810
Mister Spak

@Whatever:

Allah eats spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.

7/28/2011 5:21:33 AM

#1315815
Zeus Almighty

I've never read a word of the Harry Potter series, but I'd bet that if they mention any history it's far more accurate than the Wholly Babble.
The Babble also apparently does not explain upper case letters.
Oh, and good luck with being on "standby." I can guarantee you'll be in that state until you die of cancer, or a car wreck, or diabetes or some other complication of extreme obesity, or stick a fork in a toaster to get the crumbs out and forget to unplug it first ... you know until the normal course of your life runs out.
For your sake I hope you are in sixth grade and eventually learn some grammar and that your religion is bullshit

7/28/2011 5:31:59 AM

#1315818
Doubting Thomas

Totally accurate... except when it's not. For example, we know how and where different languages developed, and they didn't just pop into existence at once at the tower of Babel.

And I don't even want to get started on the Noah's Ark myth, I'd be here all day.

7/28/2011 5:39:42 AM

#1315820


Thanks for the clarification. Now I can file you under Idiot without any qualms.

7/28/2011 5:42:48 AM

#1315826
Lucilius

@whatever: For the version of Genghis Khan that's up to Biblical standards of accuracy, see John Wayne's "The Conqueror," 1956.

7/28/2011 5:54:57 AM

#1315828
breakerslion

That would explain why your plumber keeps finding fishing tackle when he unclogs your toilet.

7/28/2011 6:03:38 AM

#1315835
Angua

Expalin: to explain something in the manner of Sarah Palin; to describe something inaccurately and vaguely (preferably using as many non-sequiters as possible)

7/28/2011 6:17:55 AM

#1315839
Ugglee

New word of the month award goes to Angua.

7/28/2011 6:23:43 AM
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