Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 83418

[East Coast of US has moderate earthquake]
I'm late to the game, but it's a gorgeous day here in Northern VA, had the windows open, fan going, and I'd just nodded off for a little nap when the earth started shaking. The dishes in the china cabinet rattled a bit, a box of cereal fell off the top of the fridge, and a kitchen drawer was opened a little. Other than that it was business as usual. Wasn't frightened at all, in fact, I was hoping it had something to do with the "dead in Christ rising first" and we were going Home. Unfortunately, it wasn't. But, I think it's another sign that Jesus pointed to that would be happening in the last days - earthquakes in divers places because when you think of earthquakes, you don't immediately think of VA.


SummerSailing81, Rapture Ready 102 Comments [8/25/2011 3:24:54 AM]
Fundie Index: 83
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3 4 5
cdcdrr

We've had earthquakes all over the planet long before and after Jesus was born. And every time you guys hear one has happened you take it as a sign. God must really like throwing around red herrings.

8/25/2011 3:28:29 AM

whatever

You mean you never saw all the skeletons of Christians being hauled out of the ground and flying up into the sky? Some Christian you are if you never even went outside to see this once-only experience. I'm sure Fox News got the whole thing and you never saw it. Disgraceful.

8/25/2011 3:40:01 AM

rubber chicken

Yep, all that china rattling, cereal toppling and drawer slightly opening was God calling the stiffs home. Unfortunately they only got as far as the coffin lid.

8/25/2011 3:47:50 AM

Prager

It's sad and pathetic that whenever there's a natural disaster, the posters at RR all jump around shouting "Take me now Jesus! Take me home!" Really really sad.

8/25/2011 3:49:12 AM



Ever pretend to throw a ball for your dog only to tuck it behind your back and laugh as he bewilderedly sniffs all over looking for it? That's what God is doing with raptards and having a really good laugh. God is such a tease.

8/25/2011 4:04:40 AM

Tempus

When you think of earthquakes, you don't immediately think of Arkansas or Missouri, either.

And yet one of the largest quakes in recorded human history took place there. In 1812.

The Virginia 2011 quake was no more a sign of the apocalypse than the New Madrid quake was.


8/25/2011 4:09:14 AM

Table Rock

It happens. Pennsylvania had a 5.2 earthquake in 1998. Pennsylvania isn't known for earthquakes either. 13 years later and we're still here.

8/25/2011 4:31:30 AM

Anon2

When the news of the earthquake in the eastern US came in, it was only a question of hours until the first fundies started to blabber their pathetic nonsense.

The only open question was: Would the first fundie statement either claim that the earthquake is "a sign of the last days", or that the earthquake is "punishment for the sins committed by liberals"? Otherwise, the fundie reaction on the earthquake was completely foreseeable.

8/25/2011 4:44:31 AM

Mister Spak

At least he's not saying there was an earthquake in California OMG Jesus is coming.

8/25/2011 5:03:35 AM

Gawd


Yes, of course that's it. The US Geological Survey has stated explicitly that Jesus is the cause of earthquakes.

8/25/2011 5:19:37 AM

Raised by Horses

[A mild earthquake in the East Coast]

Fundies: IT'S THE RAPTURE!!!

[Someone's toast gets burned, vaguely resembles the face of some celebrity]

Fundies: IT'S THE RAPTURE!!!

[Wind escapes from roommate's backside]

Fundies: IT'S THE RAPTURE!!!

8/25/2011 5:31:33 AM

Yownanymous

Judging by the first sentence, I think SummerSailing here jizzes his pants at the sight and sound of a thunderstorm.

8/25/2011 5:47:09 AM

Chatvert

Northern VA?! Oh no, they've invaded my area! I probably can guess this person goes to McLean Supercult Bible Church.

P.S. In this heathen's house, a board game fell off the bookshelf and an antique beer stein landed on the carpet - and didn't break. IT'S A MIRACLE.

8/25/2011 5:53:21 AM

dionysus

@Raised by Horses

[The next day my alarm goes off and I]

Raptured in my pants!

[Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I]

Raptured in my pants!

[When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I]

Raptured in my pants!

[I just ate a grape and I]

Raptured in my pants!

8/25/2011 6:06:02 AM



Just 'cause it doesn't happen often, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This is not the first earthquake on the east coast; it's just been a while.

8/25/2011 6:07:00 AM

Raised by Horses

@dionysus


8/25/2011 6:11:59 AM

Horsefeathers

"Wasn't frightened at all, in fact, I was hoping it had something to do with the "dead in Christ rising first" and we were going Home. Unfortunately, it wasn't."

Yeah. What a surprise.

"But, I think it's another sign that Jesus pointed to that would be happening in the last days - earthquakes in divers places because when you think of earthquakes, you don't immediately think of VA."

Most people think of places with fault lines, of which there's a number that crisscross the U.S.

You show me an earthquake that has its epicenter nowhere near a fault line and I'll be more impressed.

8/25/2011 6:23:42 AM

Bollox

God and his earthquakes ... it's just like Lucy with her football. Keep kickin', Charlie Brown.

8/25/2011 6:26:28 AM

Reynardine

I hate to tell this guy, but seismic activity, volcanism, and tectonics have occurred since this planet formed a crust. These people can't even make up enough explanations for the past six thousand years. No wonder six billion is too much for their wee brains.

8/25/2011 6:29:39 AM

Steven Mading

" ... earthquakes in divers places because when you think of earthquakes, you don't immediately think of VA."

I don't really think of Virginia as a place for divers either. Maybe the Caribbean or Hawaii - those are pretty awesome places for divers - but Virginia? Nah.

8/25/2011 6:30:07 AM

LAchlan

You ARE home, you stupid cunt!

8/25/2011 6:35:24 AM

JohnTheAtheist

You may not think of earthquakes in VA but the USGS pinpointed basically that exact place as having a 10% probability of a 4.5 or greater magnitude earthquake in any 100 year period. You can look it up, it is easy to do. Of course if you would rather believe that it was caused by an invisible man in the sky as a precursor to the glorious eternity he is preparing just for you, please, go for it. But don't cry persecuton when people point out that you are a stupid douchebad, m'kay?

8/25/2011 6:38:52 AM

Alleyprowler

Do you know what comes up first when you search for news of damage from that earthquake? The Washington National Cathedral. Just sayin'.

8/25/2011 6:53:33 AM

LDM

You people seriously need to get a fucking grip on reality. It was a shift in the tectonic plates that fortunately did little harm to people or property.

On the other hand, it might be kind of fun to live next door to some of these people. They would be way to easy to fuck with, just buy a trumpet and play it every once in a while.

8/25/2011 7:01:14 AM

TGRwulf

Fucking earthquakes how do they work?

8/25/2011 7:07:29 AM
1 2 3 4 5