Adam and Eve were Christians. They got married.
66 comments
Huh: The conceit is probably that God/Jesus was the formalizer.
Now, I'd like to know how they could be Christians when there was no Christ to follow. Perhaps TJF thinks Micah, Jeremiah, etc. were Christians, not Jews, just because of the idea that they were trumpeting Jesus's eventual arrival?
They got married.
Let me guess: they did the Las Vegas weekend drive-thru chapel special with an overweight fake Elvis and lots of glitter. Right?
Well, I hope they did it in the summer time. Standing around in fig leaves in the cold may make Eve look kinda sexy, but Adam loses out.
Where did they go on the honeymoon? To some real paradise? (haha)
Time-travelling Adam and Eve -gotta love it!
And they never got married, according to the Bible. Stop pulling shit out of your ass.
Setting aside the hilarity that is your stupid belief in an old Hebrew fairy tale, you're wrong even in the context of the laws of your fictional universe, in which Adam and Eve supposedly existed several thousand years BEFORE the birth and ministry of the character of Jesus. If you're going to believe nonsense, make it coherent nonsense.
What about the pre-Adamites? Were they Christians, too, or were they not ever married? And the first pair of one-celled life forms - Christian?
"Adam and Eve were Christians. They got married.."
...said the young girl, pressing her dollies closer together, making nauseating kissing noises as she did.
In a hypothetical universe that only contains two human beings, who want for nothing, marriage doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I mean, vows of fidelity? Just how could you even break those? And what real value are vows of mutual support in a utopian garden devoid of hardship?
Yeah, they were Christians who existed thousands of years before Jesus supposedly came around.
I suppose Moses was a Christian, too? And God and Jesus are Americans, and Republicans to boot!
"Adam and Eve were Christians"
Before Jesus even existed .
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'Jesus Freak', eh? You got that fucking right, pal.
I don't remember the marriage ceremony from Genesis. Chapter and verse, please?
Noooo...Genesis is OLD Testimate. Christ is NEW Testimate.
How about you give YOUR OWN HOLY BOOK a read, hmm?
Interesting. I got married. And yet, I'm not a Christian.
And even more interestingly, since Adam and Eve were supposedly "the first" humans, then who "married" them? A child?
And if so, then where was the honeymoon spent? Iraq? That would seem only logical, given the biblical legends and so on.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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