Allahu akbar, my femininity-loving brothers.
As you all know, the reason why the plague of obesity and boorishness that afflicts American women even exists is because fat girls simply aren’t shamed enough. Every day I feel like Captain Ahab, surrounded by all these white whales. They tell me that “big is beautiful” and that they’d “rather be happy than skinny.” I try and explain to them that all the fat girls I’ve ever known were as happy as stroke victims (which is how a great many of them will end up in a few years), but I can only stand being within five feet of a fatty for so long before the sweat and smegma stench makes me retch. Point being that there’s not enough people kicking these butterballs in their exponentially expanding asses and embarrassing them into thinness.
So damn intelligent you fat fucks are — so smart, you’ve ensured that you’ll suffer the rest of your life with chronic health problems and social ostracism, all because you can’t go on a diet and pick up a pair of barbells.
There. I hope that made you cry. Go stuff your face in a pint of Cherry Garcia, lardlog.
This is a reminder, my brothers — every day, you must go out of your way to make fat girls miserable and unhappy. Remind them that they’re ugly, that they’re going to die young, that you’d rather fuck a goat than accept a blowjob from one of them. If you haven’t made at least one fat girl a day squirt tears of unfathomable sadness, you have failed in your duty to God. Your quest for more beautiful, submissive American women begins today.
Abdul Wahood, Fat Girl Jihad 107 Comments
[12/24/2011 7:49:55 ]
Fundie Index: 108