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#1443050
Tempus
Amazing that spaceflight, modern superalloys, quantum computers and advanced medicine were created by "non-intelligent" humans, while Noah the Genius made do with a wooden boat and reed pipes, isn't it?
9/4/2012 3:11:02 AM
#1443066
Leander
Define "nearly perfect brain"... Your Brain surely is not perfect.
9/4/2012 3:28:10 AM
#1443077
Binky
> and Noah could easily have mastered this simple technology.
As evidenced by the many biblical references to methane reactors used by old testament tribes, and their continued use up to the early 19th century when they were *finally* replaced by the internal combustion engine.
9/4/2012 3:40:55 AM
#1443089
Horus IX
WTF did I just read?
I seriously think I lost 25 IQ points as a result of reading this garbage. (Which still makes me smarter than a fundie.)
9/4/2012 4:05:27 AM
#1443093
KittyKaboom
Dafuq?
I was going to say you pulled this theory of yours out of your ass, but clearly you extracted it from the collective asses of an indoor petting zoo.
9/4/2012 4:12:43 AM
#1443104
Percy Q. Shunn
This is easily one of the stupidest things I've ever read.
So stupid, in fact, that I may be on the verge of an aneurysm.
9/4/2012 4:24:53 AM
#1443108
D Laurier
So why is there no description of a methane digester anywhere in the bible?
How would Noah get access to a rubber tree that secretes latex?
9/4/2012 4:32:09 AM
#1443109
Anonymous
How was the old man able to fit all the animals in the ark to begin with?
9/4/2012 4:36:06 AM
#1443111
Woody
All Noah would have needed was a simple airtight container to hold the manure, the proper bacteria, and a way of piping the resulting bio-gas to places where it could perform useful work—like a heating, cooking, and lighting inside the ship. The gas pipes might have been as basic as hollow reeds....
Ha ha ha ha ha,.....oh you were serious!
9/4/2012 4:41:49 AM
#1443122
Mihangel apYrs
...Noah’s ancestor, Adam, possessed a nearly perfect brain as God created him...
So god (a perfect being) created an imperfect brain for the first man. That suggests that the Fall was pre-ordained, as a design flaw made humanity open to Satan's allures.
Bad call, God, and his christains
9/4/2012 5:01:57 AM
#1443125
Leighton Buzzard
FFS, just say 'God did it by a miracle' and cut out the bullshit.
9/4/2012 5:05:02 AM
#1443126
AIF
Build an ocean going full size ark, using only wood prepared as it would have been 4000 years ago, and using only the tools they would have had available.
overcome this foundational hurdle and then we can talk.
9/4/2012 5:06:40 AM
#1443147
Doubting Thomas
And just how do you expect Noah to isolate the "proper bacteria?" Oh, right, mankind was still far more highly intelligent back then than they are now. That's why you see ancient skyscrapers all over the place and archaeologists are constantly digging up ancient computers.
You still have the problem of 8 people shoveling all the shit from millions of animals every single day, not to mention feeding them in the first place. You'd have less than a second per day to care for each animal, and that's not counting taking time off for eating, sleeping, breaks, etc.
9/4/2012 5:41:38 AM
#1443148
Frostythesnowman
So, in a book in which gods create worlds, snakes talk, pigs are posessed by demons, zombies and unicorns wander about, and people get turned into piles of salt, you feel the need to rationally explain where an impossibly old man in an impossible boat, disposed of some shit?
I'm struggling to come up with a word which accurately describes such utter idiocy...
9/4/2012 5:48:59 AM
#1443155
Filin De Blanc
It amazes me how much time people will devote to explaining something that a child could tell is impossible, instead of just saying "okay, yeah, this can't be right".
9/4/2012 6:00:30 AM
#1443156
Street Sharks
Well, this is a first for me. I really never thought that my career knowledge and experience would ever relate to a FSTDT quote.
As a sewage treatment operator (seriously!), I can tell you that what you described is not actually possible.
9/4/2012 6:00:58 AM
#1443163
Mister Spak
An even lower tech solution is to cut a hole in the bottom of the ark and just shovel the waste into the hole.
Next question: How did 8 people shovel the waste produced by 60 million animals?
9/4/2012 6:05:43 AM
#1443164
Dr.Shrinker
Funny that NONE of this is mentioned in the bible you insist that you follow so scrupulously.
9/4/2012 6:06:37 AM
#1443180
gravematter
It doesn't matter. The more pressing issues are: Where did Noah get EVERY SINGLE SPECIES OF ANIMAL from, in the time given to him? How did he fit them all onto even a large boat? Why didn't the animals eat each other, and what did they eat when they got off the ark? The carnivores would have been waiting months before there were any baby deer and goats. And how exactly did the entire world flood? Where did the water come from? Answer these questions first, if you'd be so kind.
9/4/2012 6:20:54 AM
#1443187
Mister Spak
@gravematter:
The bible says the gates of heaven were opened and the fountains of the great deep were broken up.
9/4/2012 6:32:42 AM
#1443206
dionysus
That still doesn't explain how Noah cleaned up the shit of millions of "kinds" of animals. It might explain why the smell didn't kill them but what did they do with the thousands of tons of shit they got each day? And where did they store the food to feed all of the animals?
9/4/2012 6:49:30 AM
#1443213
John_in_Oz
Since we're thinking outside the box, maybe Noah built a bunch of Robots help an elderly sheep-herer buid a wooden boat larger than an aircraft carrier, scour the world for 7 of every clean animal, accumulate enough food for seedcorn, plus a year and a growing season's eating for Noah, his family, and every living creature on earth, then to clean the crap, feed the animals, provide veterinary services, and farm the land after landing.
See, the story of Noah doesn't have to sound like made-up crap after all!
9/4/2012 6:55:23 AM
#1443217
dionysus
What I want to see is someone replicating the Ark. I want a good, Godly creationist to take two of every "kind" (whatever the hell that even means) and taking them on a voyage for 40 days. I'll even let an unlimited number of people build the Ark and collect the animals using modern technology to speed up the process. But after that, only 8 people are allowed to feed the animals, take care of them, clean up after them, etc. I have two dogs and they're a hassle sometimes, I want to see 8 people taking care of a floating mega-zoo for 40 days and still tell me that Noah's flood actually happened.
9/4/2012 6:56:37 AM
#1443230
Horsefeathers
Does the word parsimony mean anything to you?
9/4/2012 7:38:27 AM
#1443248
farpadokly
I'd like to see them try this on Mythbusters.
9/4/2012 7:59:33 AM
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