A Texas megachurch pastor is asking his congregation to help pay for upgrades to his helicopter blades after being advised by his “Aviation Department” that the upgrade would save the church $50,000.
Bishop I.V. Hilliard sent a newsletter to members of the New Light Christian Center in Houston asking his “Friends in Jesus” to help pay for the upgrade with $52 “favor seeds.” Hillard told the congregation that they would receive “breakthrough favor” within 52 days or 52 weeks.
“My Aviation manager stated that while repairing our helicopter they discovered that if we upgrade our blades today, it will save thousands in the days to come,” Hilliard wrote. “As I pondered and looked at the situation, I heard that still small voice of the Holy Spirit say tell your special partners who have special transportation needs and their obedience will release favor for their needs and desires.”
64 comments
Hey! It's only a dollar a week for a year to keep your pastor in the comfort and opulence he needs!
Alternatively - fix your own helicopter first, if you are blessed enough to have one.
His Rolls Royce needs new tires too, so put down your can of beans, crawl out from under that bridge where you've been living for that last few months and donate some money to the pastor's Rolls Royce Maintenance Fund. If you do, go will bless you with an extra slice of dry bread next week.
"I heard that still small voice of the Holy Spirit say "
Why doesn't the holy spirit provide some Jesus juice to power your helicopter without any fuel? I bet that would save thousands in the days to come.
I thought the Bible said you could get "favor" for free:
"... your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him." (Mat. 6:8)
All those sheeple for the fleecing eh, IV?
'A sucker is born (again) every minute '
-PT Barnum
Can you say 'Baaaaaaaaaaa !' eh, New Shite Christain Cent(s & Dollars)? I know you can.
...meanwhile, we Atheists have to pay for our own transportation repairs etc. From our own money.
No tax breaks for US , despite your ilk's constant claims that 'Atheism is a religion ', so there's your argument that's just as valid as an ejector seat in a helicopter.
--EDIT--
@Xotan
"Ghosts, holy or otherwise, don't need helicopters."
And thus, from the source of all Awesomeness in the universe, Captain James T. Kirk:
'What does God need with a starship? '
-"Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"
Ghosts, holy or otherwise, don't need helicopters. And where are favour seeds mentioned in the Bible? Can't these people read! And between the lines too.
Does this warrant an investigation about the validity of the, er, church?
his “Friends in Jesus”
$52 “favor seeds.”
“breakthrough favor” within 52 days or 52 weeks. (...or millennia)
“My Aviation manager
(I love this one - how many planes does he have?)
I heard that still small voice of the Holy Spirit
special partners
their obedience will release favor for their needs and desires.”
Master of Deceit.
If you sell the helicopter you could MAKE thousands for your Church.
Failing that, I'm betting you could fund a 52K upgrade from your personal account.
P.S. No “breakthrough favor” for me, thanks, I prefer 2-ply toilet paper.
I heard that still small voice of the Holy Spirit say tell your special partners who have special transportation needs and their obedience will release favor for their needs and desires.”
Translation: I feel particularly inclined to fleece people in wheelchairs.
And Janis Joplin thought she was being satirical .
Hey, whatever makes his congregation happy. He's not forcing those idiots to do anything, after all.
But seriously, a helicopter? A plane is far faster, more efficient, and cost-effective.
My question is as follows, is the helicopter owned under the cooperation or is it privately owned by the pastor?
Its disgusting both ways, but less so if it were owned by the church, if you can call megachurchs that.
@he's not the only game in town
First rule of show biz: never spend your own money.
Kickstarter is just a way of reaching out to the average person rather than to studio execs.
I don't know what this has to do with a pastor telling his congregation that God wants him to have new blades for his helicopter, though. It's not the same thing.
"Upgrade a man's helicopter blades, he flies for a year,
Build him a casino stocked with hookers, he never needs to fly again."
since he calls himself "bishop" may we assume that he was ordained such by the laying on of hands by 2 lawfully ordained bishops (i.e. through apostolic line)?
Or is he yet another who adopts a title? If so, may I introduce myself as "supreme archimandrate"?
This guy reminds me of Pastor Richards from GTA:Vice City. Hell, they both want to squeeze their congregation for money on a flying machine.
"Do yourself a favour and pick up your telephone, call now. 1-866-9SAVEME What better place to witness 40,000 years of nuclear winter, then from the comfort of your very own ready-made nuclear bunker? When we raise 25 million we will build a 50 story tall likeness of me. If we raise 300 million the statue will rotate so I can look over this great city and cast an evil eye on degenerates, and when the eminent nuclear strike occurs, those who put faith into action with sufficient generous contributions will join me inside the Pastor Richards salvation statue as we blast into space! Contribute to the Pastor Richards Salvation Statue Fund. Pick up your telephone. Call now, 1-866-9SAVEME!"
If a camel can't fit through the eye of a needle, how the hell do you expect to get a helicopter through?
This is why we need to tell churches that if they want to remain tax exempt, they need to open their books to public scrutiny. If I was a member of this church, I would be screaming at this moron in the middle of services.
@Supreme Archimandrate Mihangel apYrs
Take on any title you want. Just make sure it's related to religion, and no one can ever question it.
I have read about Jesus fasting in the desert for forty days and 40 nights. Man I have to say, I was so impress by this man. That is how I want to be tough and rugget, majesty and meen machine. In the desert. Wow !!!!!. A man in a helicopter, I have to say . I'm a black man and I ' ashamed of my black brothers and sisters ; we have to be the dumdest people on the planet. I will have to cry to the heavens tonight for god to remove the blinders. Steeling poor people's money. I never ever want to here any body come to me saying the white man this the white man that. This cat is taken you all straight to hell.
Westland, as part of their contract with the Ministry of Defence, upgrade the rotors of the British Army & Royal Navy's Lynx helicopters, as & when they develop improvements to the existing components. It's why the Lynx is still the fastest helicopter on the planet.
The Department of Defence in your country probably have the same arrangement with the various aerospace companies who build those used by the US Army, Navy, Air Force & Marines: from Bell Jetrangers to Boeing V-22 Ospreys.
You're not the military, pal. Pay for the fucking upgrades yourself ; as I paid for the 2 Gb RAM & 2 Tb HD upgrades in my Dell laptop, and Shimano components on my bike.
...what next, after the rotor upgrades: NOTAR ? Well, when that comes up as a 'pitch' idea to your sheeple, I trust they'll have realised what you're up to, and say 'No, Ta !'
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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