"you have to love him, or you're like a father who beats and rapes his children"
The first rule of parenthood: your children decide which nursing home you go to.
My father never so much as raised his voice to me, never mind his hand. Same with my mother.
I guess that's why she's effectively in an apartment facility; with security guards, but with her domicile she more or less has independence, with a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and living room with HD TV (& cable channels), access to the facility's recreational facilities & dining room, trips to the shops twice a week, holidays three times a year, and visitors at any time. She wants for nothing. She's happy, and we - her family - made sure she went to the best place.
...as for your absentee father, 'God', he gets the shitty hovel, shitty food (if he's lucky), and regular beatings at the shithole known as Disbelief. And why? Just look at your Old Testament: he does infinitely worse to his 'children', so why should he deserve any better?