Quote# 101488

I have a bit of a different post today. One of the things I've wanted to try and do is to give at least some kind of voice to the community beyond snarky comments. I know there's a great deal of experience out there on this site and I'd like at least some of it to actually get heard. As such I'm proposing a Community channel within this blog. Community members could submit articles and so long as it passes basic scrutiny I'd post one or so a week. Opinion pieces, stories, letter to the editor kind of things or anything that contributes to the FSTDT community. I know there's interesting discussions on here and some epic take downs hidden in the comments, we had one just the other day over here where a commenter by the name of Jaye does a point by point take down of one of the odder recent submissions. What I'm offering is the chance to do so in it's own main page spotlight, and not necessarily in response to quotes.

I'd have relatively few requirements on submissions, but I would hold final approval. Given I'm willing to post something by His4Life with relatively few reservations it'd take a fair bit to get rejected out right. However, what I don't want to do is start one, get all of one post and then have it peter out. So I want to know just who if anyone would be interested and if enough people are I'll setup the base rules and a submission process. So make some noise in the comments here if you're interested writing. WTF! the quote if you think you'd be interested in reading.

The Fluffy Post, Operations 12 Comments [6/6/2014 2:47:42 PM]
Fundie Index: 10
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 109197

Site dev is on hold at the moment while I move, when I move I will have central air and no more of this sweating to death in my office business. I have to be out half way through next month, trying to get out earlier. If I have time I'll write up a bit about search, it's turned into something interesting, which while bad for time lines is great for learning.

That said, I've found something I'm actually interested in commenting on. I'm sure most everyone who is on here has heard of Josh Duggar recent revelations and the rather disturbing show of support he's recieved over this. Well, I caught wind of someone actually willing to call him and the conservative christian media on it's handling of the situation. Michael Reagan wrote quite the article over on cagle that I want to support because it supports people doing the right thing regardless of if they happen to agree with the man's politics, questioning the integrity of those who are giving Duggar a pass on this. Read the article, it's worth the couple minutes.

Since I'm a left leaning asshole I'd also like to remind our side not to give people passes just because they are popular political figures who are on our side. We do it too, and we shouldn't. Just because some people on the other side are assholes does not grant us the moral right to do the same. And that's true in all kinds of things, take it from someone who's been amusedly poking at both "sides" of gamergate for a while. And pair of equal and opposite assholes do not cancel out, they just make things worse all around.

Seriously read it, link is here too 0 Comments [6/1/2015 5:06:02 AM]
Fundie Index: 6
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101399

It's June 1st and the blog's getting a bit of a make over.

It is now publicly accessible, has it's own image and has a new name, Distind Says the Darndest Things. The image is a laughing Father Jack that happened to strike my fancy. If you're reading this and don't know who that is, find a way to watch the linked show. We'll see how the blog being public goes, but so long as the signal to noise ratio stays reasonable it'll stay that way.

If you've been following along already you'll know I owe everyone a mock up of a new public admin interface, but right now I owe myself some freaking sleep that illness has ensured I didn't get. There's an outline together but a visual representation will be better for showing the points I want feedback on.

New Month, New blog, Updates 28 Comments [6/1/2014 12:04:33 PM]
Fundie Index: 6
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 108431

[Haven't done this much, while being extremely fucked up I don't think this belongs in any of the main page categories, so it goes here for now]

Aide to California state attorney accused of running an occult police force claiming to be 3,000 years old

Brandon Kiel, deputy director of community affairs at the California Department of Justice, and two others — David Henry and Tonette Hayes — reportedly face charges for their roles in the Masonic Fraternal Police Department.

"Suspicions about the Masonic Fraternal Police Department — whose members trace their origins to the Knights Templar — were aroused when various police chiefs in Southern California received a letter in late January that announced new leadership for the group," the Times' Matt Hamilton wrote.

"Following an investigation, officials said, sheriff’s investigators searched two sites in Santa Clarita and found badges, weapons, uniforms and law enforcement paraphernalia."

The Los Angeles County Sheriff's department said in a statement that the Masonic Fraternal Police Department was not a legitimate police force and that Kiel, Henry, and Hayes were arrested for allegedly impersonating police officers.

Brandon Kiel, yahoo news 3 Comments [5/8/2015 2:49:51 AM]
Fundie Index: 5
Submitted By: Mister Spak

Fundie of the Year nominations!

Quote# 105669

I'm pulling my standard individual quotes now, but any specific nominations folks wish to make, exemplary quote in a category, exemplary Fundie in a category or a custom award for a quote or user that you've been sitting on all year.

I'll select nominations and put quotes up to a vote on the 18th, so let's have em.

Nominations 2015, FOTY 20 Comments [1/4/2015 9:26:12 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116715

Voting is open, let me explain how to ensure your vote counts this year.

Each nominee has a number associated with it in one of the categories below. To vote for that nominee enter it's number into the comment section for that category. I'll be counting the first number I find in the comment and I'll be making sure votes come from unique commenters so please no funny business. Vote in as many or few categories as you like so long as it's only once in each.

Easier than most years since I have all this space to play with. Any questions, comments or general ranting can be addressed here on the subreddit where I'm more likely to look on a regular basis.

To see all of the categories and nothing else click 'Fundies 2016 Voting' below.

As of now I intend to let voting run through the end of the month. With results announced in the following week. Look forward to seeing the results folks.

Fundie Quote of the Year 2016, Fundies 2016 Voting 2 Comments [2/8/2016 6:11:40 PM]
Fundie Index: 4
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 106294

Votes are tallied and the winners are in.

With 85% of the vote we have Wulf Ingessunu with Best Cult from an 80s TV show and has had this fact immortalized as an award on the quote itself.

W. F. Price is the Pseudo-Intellectual of the Year

Patrick Scrivener is the Conspiracy Theorist of the Year.

Anna Diehl is the Fundie Of the Year.

Our Quote of the Year is... almost certainly satire. Quote #102138 is easily the most amusing thing submitted last year even being satire. So I should mention that AV1611VET's Quote #100557 is likely out legitimate quote of the year. That said, if the person who made the post quoted in #102138 wishes to claim the title of funniest satire submitted this year drop me a line and we can honor you appropriately. If you said it and you where serious, go see a fucking doctor.

FOTY Results, FOTY 12 Comments [2/8/2015 3:37:41 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104200

Didn't think I'd have anything amusing to post this week, then I checked steam.

I give you Fist of Jesus. Now on Steam.

Haven't played it, but I HAVE looked at the discussion boards. Which features such great threads as:

Game should be banned and the Devs should be ashamed

Report this game as hate speech on the store page

These Sort of Games Just Need to Die

Remove this racist game from steam!

And last but certainly not least, Excellent game, looks to be true to the fictional source material

This is clearly oppression in action people. Clearly, I am not sitting here snickering furiously or anything.

Edit: Oh, game play video

Fist of Jesus, His side kick is Judas, that's almost enough to make me buy it 1 Comments [10/17/2014 3:59:22 PM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: Distind


is still my cat

Quote# 122813

I'll probably be posting here a little more often than bossman about fairly mundane things. I'll kick links to anything major up onto the navigation bar where "Greet your new masters!" is right now.

Just got finished approving quotes this morning. I've got a busy rest of the week ahead of me grading finals and posting final grades, and I've got to proctor tomorrow, so you probably won't hear too much out of me. I'll most likely still be able to approve quotes every morning and afternoon, though.

After this week, I'll be free until January barring the unexpected. Then we'll get down to bizness on possible plans for the site and what have you. First on the agenda will be a bunch of little fixes to the site code that won't really affect things on your end much. Before I can do that, I've also got to make a little pretend FSTDT database on my computer so I can test changes to the code before it goes live. But that should take a whole ten minutes to do.

Welp, I'm off to go do work things now.

hay guys, frist post yey 7 Comments [12/1/2016 7:10:03 AM]
Fundie Index: 3
Submitted By: shy

2016 FSTDT Awards


Quote# 122955

Nominations closed — thanks to everyone who nominated! Also very special thanks to Pharaoh for keeping the nominations list up-to-date! The first round of voting will be up in the next day or two.

This the page for the 2016 FSTDT Awards nominations!

Note: you must be a registered user to make nominations. Nominations from anonymous and unregistered users will be deleted at my discretion. Make sure you're logged in before you make any nominations. If you don't have an account but you want to participate, register here! Don't be shy, because that's me!

In your nomination, try to include a brief explanation of why it is worthy of an award and a few exemplar quotes where applicable. (See my nominations below for an example.) You may make as many nominations for as many awards as you want, and you may nominate as many times as you want (i.e. all your nominations don't have to be in one comment, and I would much prefer you post a new comment than than edit your original comment when adding more nominations). Also feel free to suggest categories and give feedback on how I'm doing and handling the awards this year!

Categories that don't receive much attention will probably be culled from the final vote. The deadline for nominations is December 17.

The nominations will be aggregated and organized on this page to keep from cluttering this one.

And one last (but very important) thing: Please provide either quote URLs or quote #s / IDs where relevant (e.g. fundie-nomination exemplars, quote nominations)!

...and now, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, the categories are:

Fundie Nominations
• Religious fundie of the year
• Right-wing / conservative fundie of the year
• Left-wing / liberal fundie of the year
• Conspiracy theorist of the year
• Sexist of the year
• Racist of the year
• Single-issue wonk of the year
• Vulture of the year
• Batshit-insane person of the year (generally / overall)

Quote nominations
These are regardless / independent of the fundie who said them, but you can make a double-nomination (i.e. nominate a fundie and nominate one of their quotes for X quote of the year). Quote nominations may be from any section and about anything: religion, politics, conspiracy theories, racism, sexism, etc.

• Funniest quote of the year
• Nightmare fuel quote of the year
• One-liner of the year: Two sentences and 250 characters max, ideally less.
• WTF?! quote of the year: The most bizarre, incomprehensible, or "out there" quote (this would be a prime example if it were from 2016)
• Incel quote of the year: Just since there's been so damn many of them

Board nomination
• Board of the year: may be fundie, racist, conspiracy theory, etc.

Commenter / Submitter nominations
• Best submitter of the year
• Best commenter of the year
• "Best" troll / shitposter of the year

Comment nominations
• Funniest comment of the year
• Best rebuttal of the year

• Conspiracy theory of the year: Because this has truly been a banner year for CSTDT...
• False flag of the year: ...mostly because of these

17 Dec Update:
Today's the last day to nominate!

With that news out of the way, I'll go into detail about the candidate-selection and voting process. If I make this whole thing sound complicated and confusing, it's not really. It just seems that way because I'm going into a lot of detail. Just go with the flow come voting time and everything will make sense. Since I'm going over the voting process in length here, this'll probably be TL;DR for many (most?) people, so I'll also include the most important information here on the voting pages.

Fundies (religious, left-wing, right-wing, conspiracy theory, sexist, racist, single-issue wonk, vulture, batshit-insane person) must have at least one accompanying example quote to make it to candidates. Fundie nominees that still need quotes after today will be disqualified and removed from the list of candidates.

Quote categories (funniest, nightmare fuel, one-liner, WTF?!, incel) and the remaining categories (board, submitter, commenter, troll, best comment, best rebuttal, conspiracy theory, false flag) must have at least three nominees to make it on the list of categories up for vote. Those with fewer than three will be disqualified. (The same also technically applies for the fundie categories, but they have all surpassed the minimum number of three fundie nominees, rendering the whole rule moot for them.)

Voting for fundies and voting for the remaining categories will be done in two separate posts concurrently. Fundie categories will have four rounds of voting, each lasting a week (give or take a day for preparation), and the remaining categories will have two rounds, each lasting two weeks. That makes the total time for voting about a month (That's also about the same amount of time Distind generally allotted to voting, though he didn't do it in rounds.)

For fundies, the four rounds of voting will be:

First round (December 19–24) – Will select the top 3 exemplar quotes for each fundie. If a fundie already has only two or three exemplar quotes, then they will be exempted from this round and will be up for voting in the next. If a fundie has just one exemplar, then they will be exempted from this round and the next, and they will be up for voting in the third round.

Second round (December 25-31) – Will narrow the exemplar quotes down to one.

Third round (January 1-7) – Will choose the various fundies of the year! Their winning exemplar quotes will be embellished with their awards.

Fourth round (January 8-14) – Will pitch each of the winning fundies against one another to choose the one single darndest, fundiest fundie of the year. Their exemplar quotes will have two awards put on them: the category they won and fundiest fundie of the year.

For the remaining categories, the two rounds of voting will be:

First round (December 18–31): Candidates in each category will be narrowed down to three.

Second round (January 1-14): The three remaining candidates will be narrowed down to one, the winners! Each of the winning quotes will be embellished with their awards. Winners in the other categories will receive a special mention in a Shy Says post because I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?

As with nominations, users must be registered and logged in to vote. If you don't have an account and wanna vote, go make one and use it! I will be the only one in charge of voting and tallying the votes. Letting more than one person do this is just asking for errors. While I'm busy handling voting, Pharaoh and Ravy will be the ones approving new quotes for the most part. They'll also be doing comment moderation after I have a little chat with them regarding trolls.

Oh, and another thing, when you cast your votes in the comments, each comment will be hidden after I count its vote to keep from losing my place and double-counting. So don't freak out if your vote suddenly disappears. That will actually be a good thing: it means I counted it. :) Hiding the votes will also have the benefit of preventing a bandwagon effect from influencing the vote.

But remember, I'm hiding the comments, not deleting them: if you vote more than once, I'll catch you and ask you to pick a vote to keep and discard the other one(s). If they're for the same candidate, I'll just count them as one. If you repeatedly vote more than once, all of your votes will be discarded and you won't get to participate in any remaining rounds of voting. (Any votes will be ignored if you try.)

Votes will be tallied using a combination of automated SQL queries and manual counting to ensure what the queries return is correct. To make manual counting easier for me, follow the ballot format I give on the voting pages exactly, that way my SQL sorcery will count it correctly with minimal fuss and all I'll have to do is verify it.

Whew. I think that covers everything. If you read it all, thanks for hanging in there with me!

The Nominees, 2016 FSTDT Awards 100 Comments [12/10/2016 10:39:50 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 103205

Alright, so it's entirely too hot in my sweatbox apartment to deal with coding. But it's the perfect time to park my ass in front of my Air Conditioner and do some reading. For a while now I've been doing some rounds reading various atheist view points and philosophy, I've found I like Sagan and find Harris mildly infuriating. But I've blown through most of the high profile stuff and wonder if you guys have any suggestions on good atheist reading. The only big book I know of that I haven't read is the God Delusion, and that's mostly because I swear my wife bought a copy and I can't find it. Is it worth re buying to read it? Any suggestions for other reading?

I definitely suggest "The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark" by Carl Sagan to anyone interested in such reading. It hits most of the high points without being a prick or back peddling.

Atheir than thou, Community 8 Comments [9/2/2014 3:16:08 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 103983

So, fucked around with the described layout for a fair part of the weekend and discovered something. I hate it. It sounds decent in theory, but it's not half as readable or focused as what we have now.

Brought my wife in to take a look at it and got the 'are you serious' look along with a few thoughts on some alternative layouts. So, wadding that one up and tossing it, planning on something a bit closer to what we have now, just written better.

The layout may look like something out of the early 00s but it works reasonably well. But with the better implementation of a similar layout I have a lot more of it I can futz with to improve the things I know I want to focus on. Which has become next weekend's project.

This happens a lot, Development 4 Comments [10/6/2014 2:27:37 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 122365

Hey folks, start of the last month has gone already.

So far there's a few people who have made efforts but no solid results, so while I'll keep things up till the end of the month I may as well setup some contingency plans.

The jist, I'm not going away on my reddit account for a while. I annoy people off u/distind on a regular basis and don't see a need to change that right now. If you get to the point you want to take something over and have the historic quotes, hit me up there. Once the month ends I'll be finding a place to post the identification stripped files for whoever wants them. I'll most likely pin that location in the FSTDT subreddit in a few days after I've pulled the information and made sure the formatting isn't balls.

That said, of the options discussed, if the time comes and there isn't a viable site to go to and you are willing to run it off the subreddit, I'll happily toss it to someone and let them run with it. The only thing that sucks will be the searching on reddit is garbage. Other places odds are I don't run whatever you find associated with FSTDT so I'm of limited help there.

I'll check back in near the end of the month and make final announcements in the last week of the month.

Brace for impact, The end is really neigh this time 0 Comments [11/2/2016 3:18:32 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Distind


is shy's cat

Quote# 122788

NOTE: Comments are locked here because party's moved on over to this thread!

Turn over is in progress! I'm working out some kinks before handing everything over completely, but the majority of things have gone well.

I'm having some fun with the comments, and domains will most likely take a bit of time. But we're here, yell at Shy already.


...and turnover complete! Shy/Ravy 2016 is here! If you find any outstanding bugs, post the details here. (When you get an error, ignore the e-mail instructions for now; I haven't gotten the new Admin e-mail set up yet.)


'ere we go!, To a brave new server, five foot over 55 Comments [11/28/2016 3:33:06 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 112083

What I could do and what I've done are a tad different. I have a bit more testing to do before I release it but I have a quote search together than handles words, phrases and postfix wildcards. Should be able to put it out this weekend and I'll rattle off what else there is to do in a longer post this weekend, though I will say comment search is coming, I just intend to do it well rather than quickly.

Quick search update, Development 0 Comments [8/19/2015 3:05:57 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Distind

2016 FSTDT Awards

Fundies of the Year – Final round!!

Quote# 123455

2/1/2017: Voting's over! I'll verify the count sometime during the next couple of days, and the winners of the prestigious FSTDT Awards will be announced!

Voting this round is open till the end of the month. The usual rules apply, except this time we're voting fundie-against-fundie. That means the list of categories is much shorter this time around (choose from the list of nominees here):

• Religious Fundie of the Year
• Right-wing Fundie of the Year
• Left-wing Fundie of the Year
• Conspiracy Theorist of the Year
• Sexist of the Year
• Racist of the Year
• Single-issue Wonk of the Year
• Vulture of the Year
• Batshit-insane Person of the Year

When you cast your vote, use quote numbers instead of fundie names: that will make things much easier for me!

Happy voting!

The Nominees, 2016 FSTDT Awards 18 Comments [1/4/2017 6:28:09 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 113343

Lots of ways to say it, lots of things I could rant on about, but long story short I think I'm about done with my tenure as admin of FSTDT. I don't have the time or interest to keep up with administration and development without taking time from my personal life, which has been my priority these last few years.

But, sky isn't falling, I'll keep the place propped up for a while yet and see if anyone is interested in taking over. I did it five, six, actually I'm not sure how many years ago now, so I'd like to find someone new to take things over before I have a day where giving the site the boot becomes particularly appealing. Don't know much about coding, websites or all those scary things? Not as big of a problem as you'd think, the site itself is pretty simple and if you show interest sooner than later I'd be willing to walk you through the redux code and either finish it or teach you how to.

I knew about half of what I needed to when I picked this place up, a few months I wound up re-writing the site in a day and a half in on my own. The site still largely works off that code. I wanted to make sure the community stuck around and had the time to spare to make sure it happened, that's all you need as I am willing to help you through the technical aspect. At least at the time being, give me a few more months and I may not have that left in me.

Anyway, if folks show interest I'll toss up some communication lines and we can chat. If there are a number of people we can work that out, it may actually work out better with a larger crew running the place, smaller upsets when one leaves. If you're interested in making sure FSTDT continues, drop a comment below.

Calling all admins, Search for a new Admin 21 Comments [10/1/2015 1:58:45 PM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 113213

Updated tor exit node list again after jackassery of an impressive variety.

Going to hold off the rant till October.

Really?, Community 0 Comments [9/27/2015 7:47:44 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 106769

And now I understand why I've never replaced the old BBCode engine that Yahweh wrote ages ago. Finicky does not begin to describe some of the engines out there, but I have one up to the same level of functionality the old engine had, and there's no longer the random # breaks links error.

The good:
Tags are up to snuff
Tags can now use # to link to anchors on a page(like specific comments on quote comment pages which has apparently never worked)
There is a quote tag, and I can add them on a whim.

The bad:
That took me about twice as long as I normally devote to development in a week due to switching out a couple candidates and the darnedest error in parsing I've seen due to ordering and an errant Boolean.

Still less time than writing it up from scratch though. So next week's work is going to revolve around pagers and all around getting links to plug into pages correctly.

And for everyone's reference a list of the BBCodes to be available, this will be in the new site's FAQ:
b Bold
s Strikethrough
sub Subscript
sup superscript
i Italics
u Underline
img Image
quote Quote
list Define a list
* Define a list item
url Links, without the damn # problem.

The joy of parsing, Development 9 Comments [3/1/2015 12:12:11 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 110280

Hey folks, largely finished with that moving business finally. AC is wonderful, now I just need to figure out what to do with a dozen empty totes and I've got some shit to sell.

While I was moving a few ideas were floated for new Archive Icons and I want folks opinions. I've never really come up with anything better than Shotgun Jesus, but I have someone who is interested in doing a redraw of it at some point, which got us to talking about the others. CSTDT, I think we have a good one, an alien, wearing a tinfoil hat, while hosting a radio show. I think this is gold, better than what we have gold, and the artist is interested as well. RSTDT I have something to float but it's an old in joke and I'm still trying to make it work, a neo-Nazi singing I feel pretty. I'd need an iconic image from the musical to pull it off, but it's my favorite idea so far.

Anyone have opinions or thoughts? Assuming I get this done it would make fundie merch possible.

Moving Merch, Community 6 Comments [7/4/2015 7:21:03 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 100896

Welcome observant members and URL hackers, Distind here. This is the FSTDT dev blog entitled Distind is a Lazy Bastard.

I've been tooling around the site's code again and finally implemented a few of the things the site's needed for the last four years. We now have an Account Recovery system linked off the login page and if there aren't any quotes for the archive you're viewing the page will actually tell you that. (Edit: I found the damn edit bug! delayed release a day but I fixed the stinking thing) Also did some tidying around the archive mechanics while I was setting up DIALB. I have a few more items on my to do list before particularly long and I actually have time to get them done.

That brings me to the reason for this bloggy thingy. I'm a lazy bastard. It's right in the name. If left to my own devices I wind up doing work that doesn't even merit a note on the update page, I want to stop doing that. I want to know what people would want to see out of FSTDT. So from time to time I'm going to post thoughts, updates or what have you in here and see reactions. Further, if anyone has something they damn well want to see, say something. Pretty much anything short of more Archives is fair game, including major reworks of the FSTDT interface.

I may bring up a few other uses for DIALB should I get a particularly amusing legal threat, or find any interesting and unloved quotes in the archives, but right now it's all about making the site better.

For now this bloggy bit will act like any other archive, so if you want to head back to the other quotes hit the main page and select your archive, but any feed back is better than the odd legal threat I get over the admin mail now.

Intro, Updates 10 Comments [5/5/2014 3:25:39 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

"FSTDT finally has a sorely needed basic feature" Award

Quote# 123069

You guys may have to log back in again. No, the old log-in bug is not back! This time it's because I made a few fixes to the FSTDT code and added a shiny new toy, and so I had to recompile the code and 'reboot' FSTDT so to speak. The "posts with certain things causing logouts" bug should be fixed now, but tell me if you encounter it again (in which case please be patient while I pull my weave out and try again to fix it). I'm gonna be making more changes to the existing code during the next few days, so I'll be doing a few more recompiles as I make progress, and they'll likely make you have to log in again. Sorry, guys. (But you might get some more new toys to make up for it!!)

Now about that shiny new toy: It's a working quote tag! See:

Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well. It was a hard battle but was won. It was about four months or more ago. My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel and Leviathon had come up. I told the angel that i wanted to fight this demon and he said I could. On the way back to the hotel I asked the angel if he could bring the demon to a predestinated place and he said yes. I figured that since Leviathon was from the depths of the sea he would be used to the cold water so I filled the tub up with scalding hot water and blessed the water. The angels (there were two now) brought Leviathon bound to the tub and fought with me. We all pulled our swords from our hips and began running this demon through with all my strength and everything I had. I would say it took atleast half an hour or more. We were all spent but the battle was won.

Oh, you so crazy, nautical999. To use the new quote tag, the syntax is [quote=author]quoted text[/quote]. The opening quote tag should be put at the beginning of the first line of quoted text, and the closing quote tag should be put at the end of the last line of quoted text. There should also be two line breaks both above and below the quote tags and surrounding text (i.e. like it's a paragraph). The result will look wonky if you don't do it like that. Play around with it, and you should get the hang of it.

You can also omit the author of the quote:

im christian
if we came from apes
how come were not hairy and have a big mouth
and did we end up looking like we do know
and besides
there isnt any serious proof of apes
they showd a video saying an ape was wondering around in the forest
that thing looked exactly like a costume that i had saw at a store
know one ever cought an ape

The syntax for this is [quote]quoted text[/quote]. Other than that, quotes-sans-authors behave the same way as regular quotes. Again, play around with it and you'll get the hang of it.

Use the comments of this post to do your playing around. Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!

Quote tags, We haz them now 7 Comments [12/17/2016 2:08:42 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: shy

2016 FSTDT Awards

Quotes of the Year & Remaining Categories

Quote# 123085

1/2/2017: Voting time for round one is up. The second and final round will be up and ready for voting later today or tomorrow!

This is the page to cast your votes in round one of the 2016 FSTDT Awards for Quotes of the Year and the other awards up for grabs. If you want to cast votes for the 2016 FSTDT Awards for Fundie of the Year or the other categories, you can do that here.

We made a really big oversight when we didn't nominate Omniology to be a Board of the Year candidate, so I've decided to break protocol and add it after somebody voted for it. Since I did this, you may change your vote for Board of the Year to Omniology if you want. If you want to change it, post a new comment saying so; don't change your vote by editing your current comment, because I'll be very likely to overlook the change. –shy

The Rules — read them!

This is round one of voting and will last from December 18 until December 31. In this round, we will be narrowing the number of quotes and other nominees for each category down to three. You get one vote to cast on a quote or other nominee in each category. A list of exactly what's up for vote this round is given below.

Since I'm the host and moderator of the awards, I'm abstaining from voting. But I did a sample ballot below in the comments for demonstration purposes. (It does, for the record, show how'd I vote if I weren't abstaining.) Pay close attention to my ballot and how the votes are listed and formatted. Try to do your own ballots as much like mine as you can. This will greatly speed up the process of tallying votes and make things much easier for me.

Now for the actual voting!

Using the list of nominations here, cast your vote for the following categories (more quotes up for vote but fewer categories compared to FOTY):[/b][/size]

• Funniest Quote of the Year
• Nightmare Fuel Quote of the Year
• One-liner of the Year
• WTF?! quote of the year
• Incel Quote of the Year

• Board of the Year
• Commenter of the Year
• Troll of the Year
• Conspiracy Theory of the Year

Happy voting!

Quote & Misc Awards, 2016 Fundie Awards 17 Comments [12/18/2016 6:23:43 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 108528

If it isn't one thing...

Ok, so I've cleared up the paging issue and have a viable sample to post and show off the fact you can page through over 1500 pages of FSTDT content without any trouble. So I want to FTP it up to the new host... it doesn't fucking work.

I'm hitting them with a support ticket and see how it goes.

That all said, I managed to get it working by effectively pre-populating any possible combination of filters rather than ignoring turned off filters. I thought this would be a huge amount of data, and for this place it is. But it's size totals out to all of 8 megs of a table including an index that restates the content of the table in the order I want it to... so yeah, that's a wonderful damn thing right there. Almost no size for a damn nice improvement in speed. For reference the similar index on the current site is around 250 megs, but it has to include a great deal more data to offer anywhere near the same amount of speed.

Next stop after cursing support out is playing with the search functionality, even if I'm not going to renew with these guys at the end of the month I can get some testing done.

It's another, Development 2 Comments [5/10/2015 7:46:29 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 111073

[The 'This is some long shit' edition of FSTDT.

In unrelated news things are largely together here working on the search business again, should update this weekend with something detailed]

These are the notes that I took at the meeting held February 8th, 1992 at Maleny, Queensland.

This is my version of my notes of the meeting with Robert Morning Sky a full blooded Apache/Hopi Indian. Who was raised by his two grandparents after his father was killed and his mother left the reservation.

From the age of 1-5 years, he had no contact with the white man at all. He was taught by his grandfathers and with a group of other young people by a group of people they called the Star Warriors - aliens he code-names Blues.

These people taught him to run 6 miles with a full mouth of water and not choke or spill a drop, then they would return and have to spit the water out at the feet of the Warriors. They had to stand with their backs to their elders who would shoot an arrow and they, the students, would have to turn and catch it mid-flight. He said they didn’t realize - the students - that they weren’t supposed to be able to do these things.

The policy of the Star Warrior is that knowledge is not given, it is earned. The way to learn is to be led to discovery.

There is an old Hopi prophecy (today’s red man is white tomorrows white man is green). The first alien contact started about 1947 - 1948 and they had either already, or were going to spend 50 years with the elders of the Hopi Indian reservation.

A description of the Star Warriors is of clear, translucent skin, large almond shaped eyes and small of stature. The main issue of their teaching was PURSUE YOUR PASSION, follow your own way, do your own thing, don’t be pressured into being anything but what and who you are.

A medicine man is not necessarily a healer, they are people who do their own thing with a passion, i.e. one that will make you practice your practice your own medicine, two, feel better - medicine people make both things one and the same. A warrior is a living example of passion.

What is passion, it is an inner feeling, a love activity. It is that which makes time flow quickly, that one will move heaven and earth to do, that one will make time for. Passion is the unity of union of love between man and woman, which has more power and energy than anything one earth and if harnessed can be unbeatable.

Harmony occurs when ones own heart beat moves in time with another, i.e. the drum music of the dance, the heartbeat of chosen one, the heartbeat of a nation, the heartbeat of the universe and the earth. Think about your passion, if it makes you feel good, and shivery, it is your passion. It is your passion that makes all things possible.

The Hopi tradition is that it is man’s job to make all things possible for the womenfolk. They must attract, but the women must chose.

The reason for long hair is enhancement of beauty and the "Indian love handle" - he mentioned that the caveman used to pull their women around by their hair, he says it was wrong, the Indian women catch their men by their hair!

Men must see the world through the eyes of women.

The fire, the individuality, the you. It is internal, we are told to be what you are supposed to be, don’t be anything else. We have a life force and energy that if harnessed could cause more damage than an atomic explosion. But we need to practice harmony and frequency. We find our own frequency and can raise it to match another and harmonize, match it don’t contend with it or anything else, or you will be destroyed. The first sensation we receive, is our mother’s heartbeat. We all need to be one harmonious heartbeat.

Your job is to master your own body, if you don’t master your body, nothing will work for you.

Anything else is spiritual, the trees, air, water etc. To attain oneself, you have to move outwards, not grow inwards or else you will become like the black stars and implode.

Shape shifting - is possible by becoming that shape - my feeling is that in making self believe so much that a super imposed image forms in your mind and the mind of those around you - by increasing your own frequency you can become anything i.e. a microwave than excite water, so that it changes and becomes hot.

When our energy rise, so does our body temperature. We have the ability to raise our own and other peoples frequencies.
In 1943 the government conducted a series of experiments called the Philadelphia Experiment, to teleport articles.

It partly succeeded and partly went wrong. On January 8/9th, there was a terrific light storm that was not so much a storm as an immense light show. (During this storm I, Sande, was sitting of the front porch, connected to the storm, Robert, my guide, very clearly spoke to me and told me not to feed the storm). Robert Morningsky video-taped the storm and on part of the film, the form of a ship appeared.

December 19/20 Nexus magazine reported that a ship from the Philadelphia Experiment materialized into one of the bays in Australian Waters and then disappeared. picture (Courier Mail, 31/12/91).

If you are not in tune with your passion you cannot create your own reality. Your passion is your responsibility. Who cares what others feel and think.

Your answers and salvation are within.

1930-1940 World War II
Madman Hitler tried to create the perfect man, and conducted bio-genetic experiments
Work on flying saucers research, development what is known as Foo Fighters - (14.2.1944)
The US developed an atomic weapon and tested it in Northern New Mexico
Others tried to develop Time Travel. Out in the universe, alien nations viewed us and were dismayed. Can you imagine the SS Eldridge going through into another dimension. Whilst testing a new protection device called radar uncontrollable bursts of energy, several flying saucers were forcibly landed. The area of landing was the Arizona area. The Amerindians respected the aliens found.

Several discs crashed, so a military force called blue force was formed, to remove all evidence of UFOs. A live alien was captured and he was called EBE, Extraterrestrial Biological Entity.

It was found that he was not able to eliminate waste through the normal way, it was eliminate through the pores of his skin. He took sick, and a famous botanist Jaro Mendoza was called in, but in 1952, EBE died. A project called Sigma was instigated to call EBEs brothers to come and find him but to no avail.

The satellite dishes were placed on Indian lands, and the workers, believing that the Indian race was non consequential, so gave them quite a bit of information, believing that they would not understand it.

In the locker of one of the landed UFOs were found human parts.

December, contact was made with Aliens. Astronomers found a bunch of space ships going around the earth. Contact was made outside one of the Indian reservations.

Eisenhower met with the greys and was offered certain secrets in return for the use of people for research and experimentation. They informed the president that they were a dying race and needed help to get their bodies stronger and healthier. An agency MJ-12 was brought into effect, to monitor this program of experiments and implantations.

Negotiations were completed and treaty was signed in California. In Florida another body of Aliens arrived, called by Robert Morningsky, as the Blues.

They offered other advice, not to deal with the greys, it would only lead to disaster, but to follow your own path. They would teach with peace and harmony if men would disarm and listen. The military said no deal! So they left, but a few decided to remain and stayed in Northern Mexico and Arizona and made a treaty with the Hopi Indians.

These Aliens are known by the Hopi as Star Warriors.

The greys left an ambassador called Krill and adopted an equilateral triangle as their insignia. The military force name as the Blue Force became the Delta Force and was formed to study the greys. Two bases were built and called several names, the Earth base - Hanger 18, Dreamland or Area 51.

The greys went underground under the reservations in the four corner area of Mexico, Utah, Arizona and California. It was for the purpose of monitoring the Blues. The Blues had to flee the reservation and go into hiding, a few of the Elders went with them.

The Hopi legend is that there were two races, the children of the feather who came from the skies, and the children of the reptile who came from under the earth. The children of the reptile chased the Hopi Indians out of the earth, these evil under-grounders were also called two hearts.

The government has signed a treaty with the children of the serpent. The Hopi have signed a treaty with the children of the feather.

The greys want a perfect body, for a long time, there have been cattle mutilations. Always missing, were the organs of elimination. The grey’s bodies are always cold, and they feed on our energies, our fears, our out of control energies.

When you are fearful and out of control, the greys use and feed on that energy. What we need to do is know that it is o.k. to feel fear, but to flow with it, then control it by redirecting it into a positive event.

(NB - Do we not have an underground installation at Pine Gap that is run by the Americans? - Sande).

Control your passion - life force - you decide what you want, get an attitude! Don’t be afraid to say no! The government wants your money for their pet projects and the greys want your life-force, your energy.

Ask yourself these things.
1. Do the government make laws for themselves or for people.
2. Do they allow us to do our own thing.
3. Are we under their control on government subsidies etc...
The greys decided to stay on earth and needed acceptance, so they hired an advertising agency to come up with some good ideas - hence - My favorite Martian, ALF, Star Trek, Star wars, Alien Nation and ET.

The new program the Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Dinosaurs?? Look and be aware of the symbol of the triangle - TriStar Pictures??? Don’t rely on the government for your support, help yourself where you can. See the movie JFK.

The Jason Society decided to do something about global warming:
1. Blow a hole in the ozone layer, to let the heat out.
2. Develop underground for the elite societies.
3. Develop other planets into colonies. The last two were adopted, but the first has since be done.
Several things have been happening to engender fear and to give more control to the government:
1. Release of dangerous Psychotics and early release of killers and menaces to society.
2. Wars and upheavals.
3. Drug induced societies and drug dependent societies.
4. Mainland China.

Kachina Hopi - great spirit fire

Any living thing that is stressed is food for the children of the lizard.

Robert saw for the first time pictures of crop circles, and recognized them as Hopi symbols. He professed that if he could see them in their correct order, he would be able to ’read them’.

He feels that Mother earth is calling out Help me!

Question time
Q: - Why would governments hide the fact that aliens exist?
A: - If we knew, we would quit doing what the government want us to do.

Q: - Do the greys know they are aliens?
A: - The Greys have interbred - the more they interbreed, the more chance there is that they will lose their memories of who they really are, they become half human and half alien and can be quite mixed up emotionally. They must be 5th and 6th generation greys by now, and who don’t know they are greys. (Where do you think we get all our information from - disgruntled greys!!)

Q: - How can we tell the children of the greys.
A: - They make you feel creepy and have reptilian looking eyes and features. Greys have large eyes and have difficulty focusing. They are arrogant. They will be a strong body odor they tend to drain one of energy. They need to wear sunglasses - CIA????

The Blues
Short, big eyes, wouldn’t describe too much, because they are preparing for something big. You will feel them, and you will know them!! It is possible that a 6th generation grey could end up marrying a 6th generation blue.

Our misuse of our energy can aid a grey to shape shift and thus not be recognized.
(At the meeting, I was with another person, and while the intermission was on, we were quietly talking, when the person appeared from nowhere, and introduced himself to me, using my name. [my name had not been mentioned, neither did I know this man. I did not have a name tag on].

It was an extremely hot day, and when I shook his hand, it was freezing cold and dry. He shook hands with my partner also. We watched him move back through the hall and disappear into a small of people. We watched the front door, and he did not exit through there. But when we looked for him later, he was nowhere to be found.

I have no idea what it all meant, I only know that it was a strange experience. Neither my partner nor I could remember the man’s name, although he has said it twice. No one else had contact with the man, or remembered seeing anyone. My partner was a very logical person, not given to fanciful visions etc.)
On December 21, 1991, a fragmented video tape would trigger a series of events that would permit these papers to come to life.

On the video tape were bits and pieces of information that confirmed what some American Indians have known for some time... that Alien Life Forms exist and walk amongst us.

Due to the release of information on that tape, it is now possible to reveal further information that could not be spoken of before this time.

An ages old code of silence could slowly and cautiously be unveiled. In the late forties and early fifties, a movement began on the pueblo Indian Reservations of the Southwest. It was the intent of the Elders involved to raise an isolated group of young Warriors in the "Old Ways". The teachings began but would soon receive an unexpected presence... the "Star Warrior". (Please read the chronology included).

Hand in hand with the "medicine warrior" ways, the "Star Warrior" ways would become the foundation of education of the young warriors. Hand in hand with the Elders, the Star Brother taught the Secrets of the Universe. Raised in the way of the Kachina, the children knew that the Spirit of things always looks different.

The appearance of the Star Brother was not frightening, he only looked a little unlike us... and... he played with us as a child would.

Knowledge must be earned. Wisdom must be learned... the "Way of the Warrior" would confirm that which was discovered and would give suggestion for direction, but Passion for knowledge MUST be exhibited... and so, the code was born - "confirm but do NOT originate.

Suggest and direct but leave discovery to the seeker of knowledge". These full-blooded Indian boys and girls spent their lives learning through discovery... and one by one they went out into the "outside" world. The author of these papers was one of those youngsters. The material in these papers does not violate the code, it only confirms information which has been uncovered by others.

It is hoped, however, that these papers may give researchers an idea or suggestion for a different perspective which may help to uncover further information on the "Grand Overview".

The information in these papers should not be accepted in and of themselves. You must seek our confirmation for yourself. The credibility of these papers does not depend on its author, but rather on what you discover from your study and investigation of the material presented.


The material is presented in bold, forthright form. If you seek elaboration.

"Keys" are available upon request.


The Hopi Indian Legend of Creation tells of three different beginnings.
One story says that we have arisen from an underground paradise through an opening called Sipapu.
The second story tells of the descendancy from our birthplace near a Blue Star.
And the third story relates of a migration from a faraway place across a great body of water.
All three are true.

What matters is not which came first, but that they are all true. (Focus not on the leaf, rather look at the whole tree).

This spot is thought by some to be Sipapu, entrance to the Hopi Underworld.
It is a sacred place of pilgrimage for the Hopi,
at the bottom of the Canyon of the Little Colorado above its junction with the Colorado River.

The story of Sipapu reveals that we emerged in a somewhat undeveloped physical state, much like the prehistoric man.

Our bodies were still forming and pliable, but our features were a bit brutish. Man, called Koyemsi or Mudhead had two small round lumps for ears, two protruding knobs for eyes and one large lump for a mouth. The head was smooth and round as a ball.

As man developed, his physical body and features became more refined until he looks as he does now.

- This story of creation says that the underground paradise was wondrous with beautiful clear skies and plentiful food sources.

It was because of the existence of those called Two Hearts, the bad ones, that refuge was sought in the upper world by the Hopi, the peaceful ones. The underworld was not destroyed but was only sealed up to prevent the Two Hearts from rising upon to the surface world.

(Suggested research Hollow Earth Theorists may want to look at this legend more closely. At least one government agency is said to continue monitoring the Hopi Indian, to see when and if a return into the ground begins).

- Tells of the descent of the Hopi from the Blue Star of a constellation called the Seven Sisters. One version tells of our travel to earth on the back of Enki, the eagle. Grandfather, the Great Spirit allowed the first man to select his home from the many stars of the universe.

Enki told first man of his home earth, and brought him to visit. First man’s exploration of the earth convinced him that this was where he wanted his children to be born and to grow. First Man returned to the heavens to tell Grandfather of his decision. Grandfather was pleased and granted to first man the right to call earth his home.

First man soon returned to the green place or Sakwap with his family shortly afterwards.

(Many of the hero stories throughout time and through many different cultures refer to a valiant group of seven. Warriors descended from the stars often use the sign of the Seven Sisters on their shields and medallions).

- From a great land across the big waters speaks of the departure from a paradise far away. This story parallels many other creation legends, but differs only in that no disaster or chaos seems to have caused the journey.

The purpose of the journey was to begin a new home and a new life. Some interpretations have the Hopi leaving their home in order to spread the Teachings of the Old Ones.

- In the Southwest, as in all areas of North America, there exist men and women who practice the use of power to achieve their goals. Sometimes called the medicine man or woman, sorcerer or shaman, these individuals have often been the subjects of books and even movies. Their practice is often referred to as magic.

Nothing is further from the truth. Magic is the un natural use of the Powers of Nature. They who turn to the practice of disharmony are more properly called witches, warlocks and sorcerers. (It is this disharmony that eventually undoes these practitioners and seals their doom). Medicine men and women work with the force of Nature.

(Move against the river, it weakens and ultimately destroys - move with the river, and the power of the river enters your soul and reveals its knowledge).

One series of popular books (Carlos Castaneda Series) refers to Don Juan. One of the Sorcerers of the Southwestern Desert. His apprentice was known as Carlos. Through the series of books, Carlos is guided by Don Juan and Don Genaro on a path to Sorcery.

The methods used by Don Juan are well known to the Medicine Men and Women of the Southwest and most of what is described in the first two books is a valid teaching technique of teaching by Distraction. However, due to the blinders Carlos refuses to move from his eyes, the two books seem to be rather confusing. This is not because of Don Juan.

Don Juan’s attempts to make him see in another way, are totally rejected by Carlos and the result is a mixed up re-telling of events. Do not accept the final book’s premise that Carlos has achieved the status of Sorcerer or knowing one - that is not the outcome. Those who refuse to remove the blinders and expand their awareness, will forever be trapped in a prison-world of their own making, and will never see the dangers around them.

(They who do not wish to see CANNOT; Those who do not wish to hear CANNOT; Those who do not wish to feel CANNOT. Suggestion - re-read the Don Juan comments carefully).

- At this point it would be well to mention that Medicine men/Woman are not necessarily healers. In fact, your medicine is your passion. Your medicine always makes you feel high while dancing, then dancing is your medicine. If you feel high while cooking, then cooking is your medicine. Your medicine will always help to cure that which ails you.

Your medicine will always give you the power to rise up and continue. (This medicine is of the spirit) Your medicine is also that which you do. Your conduct in the Land of Living Things, what you do is your signature in life and it is your medicine. how your treat others and how you react to the world is your medicine.

You medicine can help the ailments of others or it could, in fact poison them. What you do effects other at all times. (If your medicine is harmful to others, you, as a medicine man or medicine woman have failed in your task.) What you DO in the land of the living things is your medicine. (This medicine is of the body).

(It is the true medicine man/woman that makes the medicine of the spirit one with the medicine of the body.)

- Truth and wisdom must always be sought out. Neither shall come easily. If at first, the teacher ignores you... Ask again!

All masters of Wisdom will succumb to the Passionate student. To demand a right to knowledge is to say you provide this for me. To ask for knowledge is to show respect for wisdom and to pursue knowledge is to show passion for truth. (In life, there are no RIGHTS, only privileges). Unlike power, truth seeks to come out. It does not hide, it is hidden by those wishing it to remain concealed. Truth and power are tools to be used. Not ends in themselves.

(Power can cover or uncover truth;...truth can only uncover power; Power can lead to truth...Truth always leads to power. Wisdom is knowing how to use both).

PASSION - (Key 7)
- In order to pursue your Passion, first you must recognize your passion. The following guidelines should help you to identify your passion:
1. Your PASSION always makes you feel on fire.
2. Your PASSION always makes time disappear (five hours always seems like five minutes.
3. Your PASSION occupies most of your waking thoughts.
4. Your PASSION forces you into action, you cannot sit.
5. Your PASSION is something you will always find time for.

- There are three parts to Awareness:
1. The Inner Spirit or the PASSION
2. The Outer Being or the BODY
3. The Outer Spirit or the SPIRITUAL
(Master the inner self first, the physical self secondly, then and only then, can the spiritual be conquered).

How can we master the more complex out of body experience if we cannot stop overeating? How can we stop overeating if we do not have Passion or discipline to accomplish it?

All spiritual teachings require mastery of the spirit. Development, or growth, is always outward, not inward. Mastery of the Inner Spirit or passion is first; Mastery of the body or Physical is next; Mastery of the Spiritual is the final step. Those who turn the order around will find their development moving inward and falling in on itself.

(Passion is the secret to all things. Master this and all things shall be revealed to you).

- To follow the path of the STAR WARRIOR, you must first eliminate two concepts from your mind and spirit - Can’t and Impossible -. How long would you stay married to a spouse who constantly told you that you could not do something? You can’t go there; You can’t do that; You can’t say that! - Not very long.

So why then permit yourself to deny yourself? Remember, if you believe yourself inferior, you are! If you say to yourself, I cannot - you are right. If you say to yourself, I can - you are also right. To become who you wish to become, first establish who that person is and how they would act. Then, practice and rehearse everything that person would think and do.

(To become a deer, one must act, think, live and be as the deer - only then can the passion of the deer be yours).

In other words, create yourself. Write a script for your own movie. The hero is your. In the script, write all those things you wish for yourself, all those things you would like to do or feel. Then rehearse your script. Practice becoming the hero or heroine of your movie. Rehearse over and over again until you know the behavior instinctively. Slowly, you will begin to know how the hero acts and thinks. Slowly, you will become the hero of your movie and your life.

The only way to become a runner is to begin running - The only way to become a lover is to begin loving - The only way to become passionate is to practice passion - Practice being that which you wish to be...and soon you shall become it.

1. I am a child of the Dancing Star born of chaos.

Only in challenge shall we find our greatest strengths and our weaknesses. Only in challenge shall our passions be made strong. The goal of life is outward development. NOT inner peace. Peace that brings no challenge means stagnation. Confidence in self wrought through challenge is TRUE peace.

2. I am fire.
I AM FIRE. I AM PASSION. ALL THAT I DO, I DO WITH PASSION. - Fire is passion. Passion is that inner force that distinguishes us from all others. Passion is that which makes the Bear become the Bear... never will you see the Bear trying to fly as the Eagle, for it is his passion to be the bear. Passion is the gift that allows us to be what we wish. To do anything without passion, is to go through the motions.

To be Passionless is to lose the fight of life. Those who have no fire are easy to conquer and manipulate. The study of Physics and other sciences tells us that all things are comprised of atoms which in turn are comprised of electrons, protons and neutrons...all are particles of energy or electricity. This energy cannot be destroyed, only changed. From these very same particles came the release of a basis of our existence, within our own bodies.

Herein, science has revealed the existence of a force unlike any on this planet, the force which directs each one of us in our path. This is our passion, this is our gift.

3. I see the fire in all things.
I SEE THE FIRE IN ALL THINGS - All things possess fire. All this have spirit. The only difference between man and animal is that they wear different skins. The only difference between man and all things is the skin, or outer covering. In the Hopi world, the spirit of a think is called kachina. It is the kachina that is the fire or passion. Those who can see and hear can learn from those kachinas around us. If you can communicate with another human being, you can communicate with the trees, the wind and all things of the earth.

4. I am but a visitor in the land of living things.
I AM BUT A VISITOR IN THE LAND OF LIVING THINGS - The skin we wear is but a temporary robe. That part of us which is most important is the inner spirit, or the passion. Yet, we must never forget that we are guests in this land and we must conduct ourselves as such. We respect all that is here.

That which we may receive in this place must be left here.. things cannot be taken with us, but all of our riches that we have accumulated in memories and knowledge shall go with us forever.

5. I walk the path of silence.
I WALK THE PATH OF SILENCE - In the Song of the morning sky, there is a line that says live as though you cannot speak. It means that what you do is more important than what you say. If you cannot speak, you must communicate your love and friendship through your actions. You must demonstrate that which you feel.

Let your actions be your measure. Only in silence can you learn. He who talks does not hear - only in silence can you defeat your enemy, he who makes no noise is invisible.

6. I am not seen or heard. I am only felt.
I AM NOT SEE OR HEARD, I AM ONLY FELT - The warrior must make himself felt. If he lives his life and the world has not felt him, he has failed. If he lives his life and grandfather has not felt him, he has failed. His passion must be experienced by others, not witnessed. He who uses his fire warms the world, he who shouts of his fire fills the world with noise.

7. I take only that which I can return.
I TAKE ONLY THAT WHICH I CAN RETURN. THE BALANCE OF NATURE AND HARMONY OF THE UNIVERSE MUST BE MAINTAINED - If the warrior takes a tree for use as a canoe, he must return and plant a seed to replace it. If a warrior takes an ear of corn, he must return and plant another. If a warrior takes a life, he must replace it. In days of old, if a man took the life of another, he returned and took care of the victims wife and family.

It was the civilized European immigrants who taught the Indian to take life without concern for repayment or maintaining the balance of nature.

8. I cannot possess. I can only share.
I CANNOT POSSESS, I CAN ONLY SHARE - Which of the fleas owns the dog? Which of the leaves owns the tree? If there can be such a thing as ownership, does not the grass have first claim to the land? Or cannot the trees make the same claims?

The secret of possession is this, when you make a claim of possession.. that which is claimed to be the possession is not the possessed, that distinction lies with the owner.

9. I am my grandfather in all ways.
I AM MY GRANDFATHER IN ALL WAYS - Grandfather is the name given to the Great Spirit. Grandfather is the name given to the Universe. Grandfather is father of the man to whom I was born.

The universe is Grandfather. In all the universe all things are possible. In the universe. To believe in Grandfather is to believe in all things. I am the great spirit, I am grandfather, I am the universe... in me all things are possible.

10. I am the answer.
I AM THE ANSWER - The Warrior is an answer to a problem. He is not the answer, but one of many possible solutions. The Warrior is the first one into battle, the first one to sacrifice, the first one to step between his loved ones and danger. The warrior is a living example of passion.

POWER - (Key 11)
- True power never allows itself to be confronted directly and never permits itself to be seen. That which appears to be the power is the distraction. When confronted by that which seems powerful, look to either side and even behind you, for there in those places you shall find the real power.

Distractions are not always visual. Each one of the senses can be distracted... sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. If confronted with an unusual sensation, check all senses for their input. Look quickly around you for sudden movement, listen for quiet voices, feel for presences. This is not paranoia, this is a search for revelation.

Yet, the most powerful weapons for distractions are found within the human spirit itself... the mind and the heart. If either is persuaded that the power does not exist, then the concealment is accomplished... the power is hidden.

- There are, on the face of the Earth, natural centers of power. These centers of power will allow anyone with the ability to focus one’s passion to increase their power by one hundred fold.

The power centers are free and open, and cannot be hidden or destroyed by the forces of Sorcery and Magic. They seek to keep you from them, but these centers are easily located. You shall always find your abilities and awareness heightened when immersed in one. WHEN THE EARTH AND SKY MEET IN HARMONY, THEREIN LIES THE GIFT OF POWER

(Suggestion - the study of harmonics by Bruce Cathie can lead to the location of power centers).

- Descended of the skies Enki and his children have been the benefactors of mankind throughout time. Enki’s gift to man is the feather... for it is the feather that allows one to fly, it is the feather that allows one to soar.

(Seek the path of the children of the feather, therein lies the secret of the Star Warrior and Ascendancy).

Mankind has been guided and watched over by these Children of the feather. Throughout history, their tracks are found. Study of the Egyptian, Greek and Roman mythologies will reveal many Birdmen in places of influence. The symbols of nations and peoples have often included the Bird of influence. Man has within his soul the yearning for the heavens.

The gift of Dreams was the gift of the Children of the Feather. (I have dreamed it... my spirit achieved this...now, my body will follow). And how are the angels dressed? Long flowing hair, long flowing robes and wings... feathers that give them flight. (I am of the sky, by the earth... and for all things, I belong). (Suggestion, who are the Children of the Feather?)

- The Reptile is cold-blooded, the warmth of passion is not found within. The seek warmth outside themselves, and survive by stealing the warmth of the fire of other things. This is the way of the Reptile.

The Children of the Reptile have also left their tracks on Mankind’s history. Where there has been deceit and lies, here there has been fear and turmoil... therein, the Children of the Reptile have resided. Seeking to emerge into the World of the Sun, they feed upon the Fire of others... Never forget this! Keep your fire under your control.

(The fire of man burns hotter than a thousand suns. Yield not its flame, and the universe shall feel your warmth).

Seek the Path of the Reptile and you shall find one of the greatest deceits of all time. It was the serpent that aspired to Godhood. It was the Serpent that wanted Man’s adulation and it was the serpent that wanted man’s soul (passion). Those who seek your passion... your spirit...or your soul...are the Children of the Reptile.

- In the Hopi world, the interpreters of revelations are the members of the singers society. To them falls the task of revealing and interpreting the signs of the stones given to them from the Old Ones.

From these stones, the future can be read by those who know. Hopi prophecy reveals the return of Bahana, a teacher of righteousness that will restore the Hopi (the good people) to their rightful place, in a world of peace and harmony. Bahana is sometimes thought of as the White brother but is more accurately characterized as the pure one.

Bahana will use the Wisdom of the Ancient Ones and will utilize the Power of the Star Warrior. Bahana will call upon the Spirit of All Things in the world, called Kachinas, to give him the strength to Right all things in the world.

There are many prophecies throughout the Indian America, we shall mention but two:
The day the lances will come - the eagle and the serpent will contend - The children of the feather shall ascend, children of the reptile shall return to the depths - only the fire will keep the stars in their heavens.
The following revelation was delivered in 1928. It is up to you to decipher its multiple meanings...
Today’s red man is white, tomorrows white man is green.

KATCINA - (Key 16)
- The fire in all things, the Spirit or the soul, is called Kachina in the Hopi world. In the Land of Living Things, the Kachina takes three forms...
the Spirit or fire itself
the dancer who imitates and becomes the fire
the wooden carving, often called spirit carving
Those interested in American Artworks should be advised that only the Hopi and the Sister tribe the Zuni, have Kachinas.

There is no such thing as a Navajo Kachina or an Apache Kachina. Each of the Kachinas has a special strength or talent, one special passion or way of life to teach. The Kwahu Kachina, Spirit of the Eagle, is the bringer of Dreams, and gives mankind the ability to soar and achieve. Hon is the Bear Kachina and the bringer of courage and strength. (The presence of a Kachina carving in the home brings the presence of the spirit in the house).

For the reader who has been following the progression of the Star Warrior teachings to this point, the author would like to now present a summation of events that will help to put the old ways into a perspective never before possible. And that is how the ways or teachings of the American Indian can apply to the world of today... and tomorrow.

The follow events are all true...it is left to the reader to verify them (An in depth chronology is offered as a key).

- The history of mankind is full of recorded contacts with extra-terrestrials since the beginning of time.

Virtually every science, religion and expression of life relates the story of man’s visitations by the Sky People. Writers and researchers spend lifetimes gathering and sifting through information and constantly publish their findings. Recent studies reveal 4 out of 5 individuals believe in Aliens. We now address this issue... and... the Star Warrior.

In 1933, Adolph Hitler rose to power in Germany. It is revealed by those who knew him that he was obsessed with the Spear of Destiny and the Old Ones, who helped guide him on the path to World Conquest. The Spear was reputedly the one that pierced the side of Christ while on the Cross and guaranteed Black power to those who held it. The Old Ones granted Hitler boons in exchange for a price to be extracted from his future.

Because of Hitler’s Quest, four relevant events occurred:
the first was the beginning of a global bio-genetic experiment to breed the perfect super-human
the second was the newly developed science of flying saucer technology
the third was the experimentation of Time Travel
the fourth was the development of the Atomic Bomb
All of these events can easily be verified by the reader.

In 1935, Pope John made the following statement in one of his addresses:
The signs are increasing. The lights in the sky will appear red, blue, green rapidly. someone is coming from very far and wants to meet the people of the Earth. Meetings have already taken place. But those who have really seen have been silent.
In 1941, the United States entered the war.

New evidence on Pearl Harbor reveals that the powers that be knew of the impending attack but felt it must be suffered in order to get the American people completely behind the effort.

In 1945, President Roosevelt died, and Truman assumed the Office of the president. Seventeen days later, Hitler commits suicide in his now famous bunker. Three months later the first Atomic Bomb is detonated in the Northwestern areas of New Mexico; one month after that Hiroshima is the first victim of the Atomic Bomb, and exactly one week later the Japanese surrender.

Through World War II, UFOs are sighted all over the glove. Some are the result of Hitler’s scientists, some are from space. Upon the wars end in 1945. President Truman was confronted with a new problem... crashed discs and alien bodies. In the next five years, the wreckage of 16 discs were recorded, 14 of them in the Arizona/New Mexico area. This posed the government two immediate concerns, one that they were in the same relative area where Atomic testing was taking place, and secondly that human body parts were found in storage inside the crafts.

In 1948, a live alien was captured. EBE was a member of an alien race whose bodily functions were plane-like. EBE was questioned but initially refused to cooperate. In time, his revelations became a guide book for scientists and in fact, it is reported that he assisted Dr von Neumann in conquering Time Travel. In 1952 EBE became ill and died. (The plant-like alien race will hereafter be referred to as the greens. This is symbolic only and should not be taken in any literal sense).

In December of 1948, President Truman issued directives to the CIA that virtually gave them the right to create a secret government to study and control the Alien problem. In addition, Project Blue Book was created to debunk any sightings and not permit real evidence from reaching the public eye.

Prior to EBE’s death, Project Sigma was created to send out distress signals to EBE’s race in the hopes of saving him. Also created was a group later to be known as the Bilderbergers. It was this group that would carry out, in secrecy, the global plans for dealing with the Aliens. In that same fateful year, NSA is created as the agency in America that would handle the Alien problem. (All of these plans made by Truman were done in his last two months in office).

New President Dwight David Eisenhower assumes office only to be suddenly confronted by a new Warfront... the Alien question. Ten more crashes occur, half in New Mexico/Arizona area. But more startling events were yet to come. Later that year, alien space ships took up residency in a high orbit around the Earth’s equator. In late 1953. Close Encounters of the Third Kind really happened in California.

In 1954, President Eisenhower met with this group of Aliens. Negotiations for a Treaty were entered into and, in fact, the resultant Treaty was signed. First ambassador to the Earth from Space is reported to be named Krill.

During these negotiations, a second group landed in Florida. This group attempted to persuade the Humans not to negotiate and ally themselves with the orbiting race of Aliens. This new group offered to help with our spiritual development but refused to exchange any technology. Our salvation they insisted, was in disarming. (This group of aliens shall hereafter be referred to as the Blues... again this is a symbolic reference only).

Because of the offer from the orbiting group; because of the suspicions of the Secret Government; because of the enormous gains to be made by the Treaty... this offer was rejected by the American government.

Upon discovery of their interference, the Alien forces that orbited the equator immediately retaliated against the Blues. Most of the Blues disappeared into the skies, but several found refuge and took up residence on the lands of the Southwestern Tribes of the American Indian. Many Elders saw their prophecies being fulfilled by these Star Warriors and gladly took them in.

The ways of the Star Warriors were virtually the same as the Ways of the Medicine Warrior. In the meantime, the Treaty is developed. (The reader is advised that this is not the first contact by the Greys. Nor the first time an on-going completely visible presence is established).

This alien race, referred to as the greys, is recognized in all their efforts through their symbol, the equilateral Triangle. (Suggestion-investigate any trilateral or delta groups). The treaty calls for non-interference by both parties in the affairs of the other. The greys will be permitted to engage in abductions for the purposes of experimentation if no harm comes to the victims. In exchange the secret government is to receive technology assisting in the development of Time Travel and flying saucers.

Both sides agree that neither side will sign treaties with any other Aliens or humans.

Two bases for mutual use are to be constructed at the outset. The humans select Nevada desert for one base, the aliens select the four corners area of Arizona and New Mexico. The selection of the four corners are forces the blues in hiding to leave the area. Several Elders leave with them to provide assistance and to continue the exchange of Wisdom.

Those left behind have only pieces of the puzzle. Unknown to the humans of the time, the greys already had connection with the children of the reptile. Underground bases would permit easier contact and give the children of the reptile direct monitoring of all activities.

(Perhaps it would be well to let the reader know that at least two alliances, out of the sight of humans, were now in existence... one between the greys and the children of the reptile and another between the blues and the children of the feather.)

In January of 1955, months later, a member of the secret government, secretary of State John Foster Dulles, displays the arrogance fostered by the grey treaty.
"The US defense is now to depend primarily upon a great capacity to retaliate instantly by means and places of our choosing".
This policy is known as massive retaliation and alarms America’s allies.

As the year progresses, mutilated animals and humans are being found. The agency in charge suspects the greys of violating the treaty. It is discovered that the greys have been dealing with the Soviet Union. A battle in the skies is reported to have occurred. The Air Force fails miserably. A presidential study group asserts that the public should not be told or panic and mass hysteria would reign. And that means that the Congress cannot be told.

The group finds out that bio-genetic experimentation must be done by the greys because they are dying out and need a perfect super-human body to survive. The study group also discovers that the greys have admitted to manipulation of mankind through secret societies, witchcraft, magic, the occult and religion.

The study group reportedly confronted the greys and pressed the question. The report says the greys freely admitted to religious manipulation but warned against the departure of man from the church. If man refused to place himself at the feet of christ, even they, with the power, could not prevent the holocaust found in Revelations from occurring. World War III was a certainty. To prove their point, a hologram of the Crucifixion was shown to the group. It was recorded by the study group, and the film exists today.

In July 1957, a symposium held at the international geophysical Year Gather reveals probably self-destruction of the earth due to over-heating and and over-population.

A follow-up study group called the Jason Society, then suggests three alternatives.
One, blasting a hole through the atmosphere to allow the heat and pollution to escape, over-population (it is rejected immediately).
Secondly, to begin building underground cities for refuge of a select few survivors. (All others are expendable).
Thirdly, to establish bases on other planets utilizing the technology of aliens and that of our own development.
Both plans are adopted. (Alternative 2 and Alternative 3).

As a delaying action, birth control, sterilization and new deadly diseases are part of both plans (AIDS is one result).

Using space ships constructed and tested for years, the colonization of the moon and other planets begins in earnest. In order to finance these and other projects, the Secret Government, in 1959, pursues drug smuggling as a major fund raising project. An ambitious young member of the Council on Foreign Relations is approached to use his offshore company, Zapata Oil, to smuggle in drugs.

With the help of the CIA, the project becomes very successful. The president of Zapata Oil is none other than George Bush.

In 1960, John F Kennedy is elected to office by less than 100,000 votes. The following year the public sees the first man into space. Yuri Gagarin. The public does not know that moon colonization has already begun. On the 22 of May, 1960 a space probe lands on Mars and confirms the possibility of colonization.

President John Kennedy discovers the black projects, drug smuggling and the existence of aliens. Kennedy issues an ultimatum to MJ-12, the Secret government Agency in charge, to cease and desist or he will reveal what he has discovered to the public. On November 22, 1963, John F. Kennedy is assassinated in Dallas, Texas, on the orders of the Secret Government.

It should be noted that the vested interests of, not one group, but rather numerous groups involved with the Secret Government, were at stake.

1963, sees the deaths of Pope John XXIII and John Kennedy. Also removed from power were Prime Minister MacMillan of England, West German Chancellor Konrad Adenauer and the USSR’s Premier Kruschev. Lyndon Baines Johnson, assumes office and within months begins his great Society plans to take care of everyone in the United States.

He immediately escalates the War in Vietnam, CIA involvement continues at fever pitch. The Great blackout of New York City occurs. Reports of spaceships just prior to the power outage are confirmed. The areas affected are Southeastern Canada and Northeastern N.Y.

On July 21, 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldren land the 'Eagle' on the Moon in front of millions of television viewers.

Numerous ham operators and other radio monitoring sites hear Armstrong describe Alien crafts as they watch him.
"My god, they’re real!" he is heard to exclaim.
Maurice Chatelain, former Chief of NASA Communications systems claims all Apollo and Gemini flights were followed by extra-terrestrial space vehicles. He is unable to say where they are from. Later in that year, the Phoenix Project targets mind control. Indigenous people are taken off the streets for testing.

One estimate says 250,000 were taken against their will. Brain damage, extreme mutilations or death are the results.

In 1972, Richard Nixon visits China in February. In June, the Watergate burglars are caught, but in November, Nixon wins his re-election back to the White House.

In 1973, in June, the Watergate hearings begin and Nixon is implicated. The secret government asks Nixon to resign to avoid disclosure of any of the secret projects. Nixon refuses.

In 1974, the fabricated gas oil shortage is in effect, and the impeachment hearings of Richard Milhouse Nixon begin. On the 4th of August, the secret government issues orders to all of the US military Commands to ignore any White House order. On the 9th August, Nixon resigns.

In 1979, Project Phoenix, with the assistance of the greys was successful in producing a Mind amplifier. Under drug influence, psychics, those with mental capabilities above the norm were hooked up to these machines and were able to create physical forms.

The tests were successful!


It is hoped by the author that the above chronology has begun to intrigue the reader at its least.

Please note that much of the information disseminated through accepted Chronologies and Encyclopedias is based on that which was given out by the Powers that be to begin with. Several of the official entries were created to placate and deceive you.

(The reader will be pleased to find several top secret document sources listed in the key on this section. Other sources listed at the end of these papers also include many of the same sources).

The information contained in these pages of summation is only designed to stir curiosity and hopefully inspire some to research and investigate further. There are many, many clues and great amounts of information provided in the summary. Read and re-read them again. Apply all previous keys to the material, one at a time.

The results are revealing.


Though certainly the greys are a formidable power.

Mankind has several advantages going for it. There is, to begin with a universal federation that watches closely the behavior of all the races of the universe. No one race can interfere with another without the willingness and consent of the other race, such interference would result in severe and serious retaliation.

If enough of Mankind rejects the ways of the greys, they would be forced to withdraw or suffer heavy consequences.

(Key 21)
- Another advantage that mankind has is his access to the Power Centers previously discussed.

One of the newest of the discoveries of the earth is the existence of energy belts that gird the planet. It has been discovered that UFO activities follow these belts and that, in fact, the testing of Atomic Bombs and sites of great power, like Stonehenge and the Sphinx, are also on these belts.

At the intersection of these belts, there are great sources of free energy for anyone to use. As in the mind amplification experiments mentioned above, these power centers can be used by one well-disciplined Medicine Man/Woman to produce incredible results. Since all power centers or intersections of the Harmonics Belts cannot be controlled, this free power can be harnessed by Mankind.

(This is the meaning of living in harmony with the Universe as the Ancient Ones revealed).

(Key 12)
- The final advantage we will discuss (this does not imply that there are no other secrets which can be utilized against the greys) is the fire within man that we have referred to as passion. The secret to all things is passion. With passion, all things are possible.

The amplification experiments of the Phoenix Project have been explained as having amplified Brain Waves, in fact, they amplified the passion of the subject. It was that inner will of the subject that was intensified. That inner spirit within all of us, that driving force is manifested in electrical energy.

Master that force and you cannot be controlled, the Universe is yours. Master the inner Spirit and you shall Master the Physical.

The weakness of the greys is that they are passionless. They feed upon our passion that we willingly give up. When consumed with fear and insecurity, lack of confidence in ourselves, we give up our passion to the feeding frenzy of those devouring sharks. You have been given a task, that task is to be you.

Only you have received the passion that drives you, only you can utilize or sacrifice this gift of passion. Passion is the secret to all things - passion is the universe - passion is all things - passion is grandfather - but most importantly, passion is you. (key-7)

- In the presence of a grey the sensations of the average person are disturbed.

Generally, one will find themselves in a state of extreme unpleasantness or will experience the creeps. Often, there is a sense of intimidation or fear. Instinctively, the human spirit will react to a grey presence. This does not mean that everyone who gives you these feelings is a grey, it is only a clue to the possibility of their presence.

Generally greys have a very difficult time maintaining eye contact. They have a difficult time focusing on things that are near to them, so that even if eye contact is made, they seem to be looking right through you. Again, this is only a clue to the possibility of their presence and should not be construed to mean all those who have this difficulty are greys.

The greys continue to master the physical traits of humans but have still not quite been able to fool a truly passionate individual.

- The children of the reptile must not be forgotten in the equation of earthy events.

Their alliance with the greys poses a formidable force. It will do researchers and all who study the greys well to remember that the true power behind them are the children of the reptile. (The chameleon becomes that which he wishes you to see).

Review the earlier information and the Star Warrior path, for now, remember the Secret to all things is Passion and all shall be revealed to you. (The topic of the children of the reptile shall be left for the second set of Star Warrior Papers).

WARFARE- (Key 240)
- The wars of the White Man are begun for two reasons, defense of one’s people and attack for gain.

The defense of one’s peoples is understandable that need not be addressed. The attack for gain is that which we will address. The white man attacks so as to add to his material world, or to use his own words, for a profit. If there is no profit, war is too costly and will not be pursued. The military-industrial complex is the back-bone of modern white man’s world.

Certainly, the history of the American Indian and the white man shows this mentality at its peak. The taking of our lands was solely for the purpose of profit for the new country’s powerful elite. New lands meant new chances to generate wealth.

World War II saw deliberate manipulation by the powers that be to force United States involvement. As a result, the United States became the most powerful and technologically rich country in the world. The most recent war, the Vietnam conflict, will ultimately prove to be nothing more than an elaborate cover for drug smuggling and dope peddling.

What man’s wars are born of greed - not of noble intent.


Preparations of the public for announcement of aliens by utilizing movies, TV programs, magazines and even children’s cartoons to depict aliens as humankind benefactors. (Aliens are O.K.!)

Key 25
-The creation of a criminal class by the development of public welfare systems that create a dependency on big brother and his money. By later terminating these programs, dependent people will have to turn to criminal activities.

Key 26
- The destruction of lower classes through drugs. The creation of fear in the public of terrorism and crime in the streets which will push gun control. Drug and hypnosis induced individuals will kill at random, thus terrifying the public and causing them to ask for Government intervention.

A government program named Orion was created for this very purpose. Utilizing drugs, subjects became unwilling and unknowing assassins. A recent study of the random-killing murderers disclosed that almost every one of the killers had been treated with the drug Prozac.

Key 27
- The abduction of humans by the aliens and the secret government continues for both experimentation and implantations. It has been reported that one in forty humans has been implanted. On a given command, they will respond as programmed.


Key 29 - Reading of William Cooper’s book
- reveals an admission by the greys that they had, in fact, manipulated man through the occult and related practices, but also, through man’s own religions.

The following assertion may be most difficult for the reader to consider, The Fatima prophecy and related sightings, the crucifixion and the burning bush are all deceptions designed to make man willingly yield his planet and his passion to the greys and the children of the reptile. When scared or confused, the passion of man becomes weak and vulnerable.

The energy released, the passion surrendered by losing control is gobbled up by the passionless. To see the answer outside yourself, gives control of your passion to whomever or whatever responds.

Any religion or discipline that immediately separates god and man succeeds in turning your outward, away from your passion. To be god-fearing is to be afraid and sacrifice passion. Redemption by ingesting the body and blood even if it is symbolic in its cannibalism, suggests salvation is external.

A christ-head to whom you must sacrifice self can only be the devourer of your passion. There are no words, no chants, no rituals, no charms, not one simple exercise that can give the secret of ascendancy. The one path succeeds, it is the path that begins within. The teachings of the children of the reptile are intended to make you surrender your passion.

Be wary! it is not the way.

The secret to all things is passion, your passion.


The following observations are the sole perspective of this author and do not necessarily reflect the whole of Native American Indians. However, most Indians will agree.

- Psychics are those who are in tune with the spiritual - while there is value in contact with the spiritual, let us never forget the paramount importance of the inner self and the physical self.

Question, if psychics can speak to the dearly departed, why can’t they speak to those who are about to be born? In the medicine world, we know that the vision required is both the same in both cases. The author personally suspects those who cannot see in both directions.

- The practice of channeling is seldom done by the medicine world.

Though the practice has its merits, those who act as the channels are truly subject to the integrity of the one who is channeled. In fact, many channelers have had to recant their allegiance when they discovered they were deliberately misguided. This does not mean the channeler was an accomplice to the perpetration of deceitful manipulation of the spirit, but in fact, the channeler was a willing vehicle.

The medicine world prefers the warrior or medicine person make contact with his or her inner passion and truths. It is known to all that with each of us is the knowledge of the universe, the wisdom of the ancient ones, just waiting for us to seek it (look first within, trust that passion and all things will be revealed.)

This is not a condemnation of channeling, but rather a preference for turning inwards for answers instead of outwards.

- This is an age old discipline of the medicine world.

It differs from channeling in that we listen to our guides but do not let them speak through us. We trust our guides but are still responsible for our own decisions and actions. If there is a revelation from our guide, it is for us to find the way to speak of it. We become responsible for transmitting the message, if we fail, we believe our guide will find another who is more worthy that us.

Spirit guides cannot wrongly manipulate us if we stay true to our passions. If we are deceived, we are not true and strong.

We are responsible.

- All things have a spirit, in the Hopi World, we call this spirit kachina.

As all humans cannot be trusted, so all crystals cannot be trusted. Some crystals will work for one individual while they drain and harm another. Treat each crystal as you would another human being, establish your own relationship, judge for yourself.


These few pages are for those who have been gracious and kind enough to request some information on the Way of the Star Warrior.

It is only the first step on a path of revelation and discovery. If the path seems good to you, then continue. If at any point, you have any misgivings, then seek another path, or at the very least, stop, take a deep breath and reassess your position.

The information in these papers, must not be accepted blindly, you must go out and confirm them yourself. Do some investigations and research, study everything and make the decision for yourself. You are responsible for what you do with this knowledge.

If you choose to reject the existence of Greys and Blues, there is still the terror of the one world Secret Government to consider.

If you choose to reject the existence of a secret government, then the information in these papers and other of its kind should make no difference to your existence. they are harmless. (One last suggestion, just because you cannot see or hear it, does not mean it doesn’t exist).

If the information in these papers whets your thirst for more on the Star Warrior, then pursue it. If you remember nothing else, remember this, the secret to all things is passion.

That is the secret power of the Star Warrior.

Sande Van der Straten, bibliotecapleyades nets 4 Comments [7/24/2015 2:56:51 PM]
Fundie Index: 1

Quote# 116711

Fundie Quote of the Year 2016, the category for the most absurd bullshit to have entered the submission box.

1) The PhilosophyOfRape with 'When to correct a Harlot'

2) dominikus28 of Catholic Answers forums with 'How moral is the deathpenalty for heresy?'

3) Anonymous Jewish settler with 'Just kill one that'll deter the rest'

Fundie Quote of the Year 2016, Fundies 2016 Voting 23 Comments [2/8/2016 5:57:53 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

The Fundie of the Year Awards

Quote# 105942

Fundie Of the Year

The big one, selected from the top ranked fundies of the year we have three options that I figure almost everyone has to know.


1: Anna Diehl
The sinner in the hand of a vengeful god, and apparently quite content with that. Easily our most honest and disturbingly coherent fundie in years. A sample of her work:

Of course all of these theories are based on a refusal to accept that God could find true delight in torturing people. Well, tough. HE DOES. Are we really so arrogant that we think we can define who God must be, or that we can change truths about Him simply because we don’t like them? If our Creator gets high off of torturing His enemies for eternity—which He clearly does—then we need to face this fact square on and ask the Holy Spirit to help us deal with it. ...

Full Text Found Here

And more other accounts than I even care to name, this guy... I actually feel kinda sorry for if his world really looks like that to him. But I sure as hell wouldn't let him inflict that on others.
I have and I still believe I'd have sex with a woman against her consent. The difference now is that when I wrote that I thought that rape is forceful sex against a woman's consent. I was wrong, since I didn't know enough history and was brainwashed my feminist propaganda.
Full Text Found Here

3: David J. Stewart
One of our more prolific fundies, both in what gets posted here and what he writes in general. Quoted in all three categories this year and frankly could have been nominated in either of the ones I'm doing awards for, but thankfully not quite all three categories on the site. I checked.
Religion is the WORST thing that has ever happened to this world; Countless Billions of souls have been doomed to Hellfire by false religion. Learn what the Bible has to say on the matter. I expose many false religions... not to be unkind... but because the truth has been hidden from the world's masses. Just remember, religion didn't die on the cross for you—Jesus Christ did!
Full Text Found Here

Conspiracy Theorist of the Year

It was a good year for insanity, and certain efforts should be recognized.


1: Anonymous Cowards, of GodLike Productions
I'm cheating here, but they're also the group with the highest fundie index on CSTDT for last year. The anon comments over on GLP are amazing, not always in a good way, but amazing.
I have recently had an epiphany about dinosaurs that makes perfect sense! You would have to be spiritual minded to see it so I suspect many scientific minded people will tell me I've lost it...that's okay.

Here was my idea, just as the fallen angels have manipulated with genetics to claim their own creations (and to piss God off), I suspect they took God's creation of birds and genetically altered them to make their own creation. That is why scientists claim dinosaurs evolved into birds because so much of the genetic code of birds is in them.

Full Text Found Here

2: Patrick Scrivener
Someone who tends to run the lines between fundie and conspiracy theory, but I think conspiracy wins out on his top quotes. Special thanks to Yossarian Lives for bringing us so many of these.
Before the advent of MI6 sponsored communism in Russia, the Orthodox Church completely rejected the heliocentricity of Galileo and the evolutionary myth of Druid Charles Darwin. They also rejected the Syllabus of Pope Pius IX which completely condemned all scientific progress—except advances in spying and cryptology.

Full Text Found Here

3: Wiley Brooks
Odd one out, as he's only had one approved quote, but it was pretty amazing. Still not sure what if anything it means, so let's all stare in mild confusion.

In order to understand why I have chosen these foods you must first know how the human bodies descended into the 3rd dimensional world in first place. This is not our natural home. Being here as long as we have been was not intentional. We didn’t plan to stay here permanently. You could say it was purely by accident that we ended up getting stuck in this 3d world. The Earth, without a doubt, is the most beautiful planet in the Milky Way galaxy and that is why it was "the" vacation spot of the galaxy for millions of years. There was always a constant stream of visitors coming here from Worlds and Galaxies far and wide.

Full Text Found Here

Quote of the Year

A new hit from an old favorite, a disturbing conspiracy and the funniest damn thing I saw this year. These are the top quotes from each category, which is the best?


1: AV1611VET, from Christian Forums
I hadn't seen much from him in quite some time, but he came back strong with this one.

First of all, up until the Tower of Babel, they had to speak some language.

What language was that?

What's the best candidate?
Thus we have all peoples, nations, languages and tongues, standing before the Judgement Seat, being read to from the KJB.

Thus if they speak Jacobean English in Heaven, I assume they spoke it on earth at first.

Full Text Found Here

2: Diana Napolis
I honestly have no idea what to say here, but entirely believe every WTF?! was warranted.
The Enemy has been busy forcing others to have sex with them. They have a method of copying sex responses and placing these responses within penises and artificial vaginal canals. They copied my vaginal canal and orgasmic response, and placed that response into other artificial canals so that the enemy could insert it into themselves.

Full Text Found Here

3: white male, from Beyond Highbrow
It won an award within 30 seconds of me starting to read it and has given an entire demographic a bad name. I don't really even need ot quote that much of it to show why it's here. Poe or not, funny shit.
um nope. I am a proud white male with an 18 inch cock, thicker than a gallon milk can. I have a pedigree going back 10 thousand years to the Aryan-Teutonics of Asgard and Atlantis, and the government is so frightened of my innate caucasoid potential that they made me file a non disclosure agreement of my superior white male dna supreme genetics.

You see white men are actually from the distant island of atlantis which was floating in the tuberclizician Stratosphere of Earth, which Gulliver christened as Laputa.

Full Text Found Here

Best Cult from an 80s TV show

This is a special request I could not help but follow up on. And as a single nomination vote you can enter 1 to vote for it, or 0 to vote against it and tell us if the following is the Best Cult from an 80s TV Show.


1: Wulf Ingessunu
Woden's Folk is invariably criticised and attacked by those whose aim is to discredit anyone who opposes the Global Order.
One of the main targets has been The Hooded Man Prophecy since this is an easy one to get at since it has no 'historical' authenticity - so we are led to believe.
Firstly, yes this does come from the TV series Robin of Sherwood and was no doubt made up for the series. But that does not invalidate this as a prophecy, but we can only recognise it as such through the knowledge of what its hidden meaning is.
In order to understand that The Hooded Man Prophecy is valid you need to understand the above ideas clearly, because without a knowledge of what an avatar is this will never be understood. Only through recognising that a god can actually incarnate in the flesh will we be able to understand what I am trying to say

Full Text Found Here

Pseudo-Intellectual of the Year

We had a few nominations for this request, but remember if they are not worth the honor you can always vote 0 to deny it to anyone.


1: John C. Wright
Despair is the key. It explains nearly everything that is so puzzling about the madness of modern life, the pack of self-contradictory dogmas that make up the default assumptions of the Dark Ages in which we live.

They have nothing else. No wonder they are bitter. No wonder they are irrational. No wonder they lie like dogs. No wonder they boast. No wonder they are full of envy and malice. No wonder they kill babies in the womb and fete socialist dictators and mass murderers. No wonder they love death. No wonder they admire, protect and love Islamic terrorists. No wonder they admire, protect, and love sexual perversion.

It is because they have nothing else. They live in a world of darkness, without hope, with nothing but their seven great friends to sustain them: pride, which they call self esteem; envy, which they call social justice; wrath, which they call activism and protest; sloth, which they call enlightenment; gluttony, which they call health food and legalization of recreational drugs; greed, which they call fairness in taxation; lust, which they call sexual liberation.

Full Text Found Here

2: W. F. Price
As for young women, higher education is an enormous waste in most cases. They spend their time learning from lesbian pornographers, drinking, whoring and learning to look down on their male peers even as they debase themselves. The old idea that it will help them find a suitable mate is so outdated as to be laughable, but it’s what keeps parents paying for college tuition for their daughters: they hope that daddy’s little girl will get hitched to some conscientious beta male instead of knocked up by a hoodlum. This is the single biggest reason parents send their daughters to college, and it’s a gamble that will only pay off about half the time these days as the female to male ratio approaches three to two at universities (not all college-educated men marry college-educated women, or marry at all). Not a good bet for roughly $100k, but it supports legions of hard-left ideologues, which explains the enthusiasm for the failing system in mainstream media outlets.
Full Text Found Here

I feel compelled to note, lesbian pornography was involved in my college experience, but not in the way Mr. Price is concerned about it. Funny story actually. Anyway, This year's voting form:


Submit the above as your comment, replacing the X with the number you vote for in that category. If you want to vote against the existing options enter the number 0, if you don't want to vote at all either leave the X or erase the line. Counts will be done at the end of the month.

Fundie of the Year Awards Voting, FOTY 109 Comments [2/7/2015 2:56:46 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104041

Found an old classic of fundamentalism that ought to spawn nostalgia in anyone around my age Turmoil in the Toy Box. This thing is why a fair number of people weren't allowed to watch perfectly good cartoons as kids. Produced for christian parents and so very remarkably convinced that He-Man is the fore runner of the occult pop culture, it makes for a great thing to listen to if you can spare some snickering.

I have never been this nostalgic for shows I barely even remember. But it's really funny watching christian conservatives attempt to figure out children's toys. This should help set the standard for stupid in anyone who's new to the topic of fundamentalists.

Oh, and if anyone else has other good ones, let me know, I will post the hell out of this kind of thing.

Skeletoooor!, Classics 4 Comments [10/9/2014 11:10:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 121526

Quick Note before going onto the post, we have someone willing to attempt to take the place over and I'm working with them now. We'll see how things go.

Right-o folks. That time thing, yeah, it's happened.

Given I'm a week behind on quotes and don't have a massive interest in catching up I believe I'm going to be calling my actual end of admin here. I'm just to the point I have other things I want to do with my life.

I'm going to keep the lights on and push quotes out for a while yet, at least till the end of the month, possibly to the end of the year if some individual interested needs time to prepare a new home for the place. But if that's the case I'll be downgrading hosting considerably to save myself some money.

The over all, if you want to run FSTDT, well you're going to have a time of it. The code for the most recent version got nuked with my last hard drive failure and what I have is about three revisions old, which means most of the useful shit I've done in the last two years isn't there. It's livable, but frankly I'd recommend a full re-write anyway. It's the work I haven't had the motivation to do, and being in the middle of remodeling a house, I'm realizing it isn't a lack of motivation as much as a lack of interest in that particular project.

I wrote the original version of this site in about a weekend, it worked fine for a year that way. If you want to write your own I can tell you the tricks I've picked up over the years of handling overly large lists and analyzing comments for horror content. I can also supply a set of test data to build around, and once you've got that up and running the full dump to see how well you handle it. But I'm not up for hand holding anymore, I'm done.

As much as I don't want the site to die, I'm not willing to devote time to it any more and I should at least be honest about that. If you are, well, I'll happily hand the place over to the first schmuck who can handle the test data.

The end is neigh, Seriously this time 96 Comments [9/2/2016 5:08:49 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104592

Mid week thought, I'm rather fond of the image I've used for DSTDT on the main page and part of me thinks it embodies a fair bit of the site. Which makes me want to ask what others think of the idea of using it was the FSTDT logo.

Humor, religion, bit of madness to it. I just like it.

Perhaps more importantly, I believe I can actually secure the rights to the original and might get myself a shirt made even if no one else wants one.

As to the classic shotgun Jesus, I love it, I've found higher quality versions of it that attribute it to a Mustafa(or something along those lines, found it ages ago), but I've never been able to track it to an origin point. Without the artists permission I'm unwilling to merch it in anyway, so if anyone knows who it was let me know. Would love to get a hold of them.

Jack could be our chaplain, Community 6 Comments [11/6/2014 5:58:26 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116709

The Dunning-Kruger Effect Award for 2016
1) The Last Trump
2) Oboehner
3) WorldGoneCrazy

The Dunning-Kruger Effect Award for 2016, Fundies 2016 Voting 18 Comments [2/8/2016 5:50:05 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 102128

For those that don't know, the earlier revisions of FSTDT had a few issues. Not little ones either, effectively one person had gone through and set everything to do with quote approvals and the top 100 and it wasn't the Administrator or the Programmer of the time. This is why public admin is as locked down as it is now, and why it will accuse folks of cheating from time to time, it's also why we have such massive quote archives back in 2008. I've been able to re-work the ranking system and undo the attempts at manipulation of the top 100, but going over just shy of 10,000 quotes to see what does and doesn't suck(and really the rest of the archives) is a rather daunting task.

So I've been working on a solution, one that could more or less integrate into public admin and let us police the quality of quotes actively from this point forward. Simply put, it would be a 'Flag this quote for review' system. I'd take volunteers and set them up with the ability to set quotes up for review and create Issues to detail just what is wrong with the quote. If it would need whole scale deletion or some corrections. Once marked it would enter a separate public admin queue where all flagged quotes are brought to the attention of the volunteers for voting and commentary. Since they would all have noted problems I'd handle final changes myself.

But that's not the part that I've been kicking around lately, right now I'm thinking of changing out the Issues we have(a text box entry that's displayed in public admin) and replacing it with a more detailed change recommendation/tracking system in which the person entering the Issue would be able to make specific alterations to parts of the quotes, and those alterations would be what people vote and comment on rather than the general idea the quote would be reviewed. If someone finds a bad URL, or a wrong attribution, they submit a corrected version for people to review along with any comments. As it cycles through public admin people select which changes they approve of and the approval vote counts as an endorsement of the changes. Which would save me the work of parsing through hundreds if not thousands of comments over time to identify the needed changes. It'd also be more complicated than anything else I'm working on at the moment, but staring at those archive numbers I think it'd be worth it.

As a note on system development, actually being familiar with databases... LINQ isn't worth the ones and zeros it's printed on for DB access. Be nice to leverage that knowledge against in memory objects, but for all the resume polish in the world it's not worth dealing with on the back end of this place. I'm going to be bringing down a local copy of the site to let me re-engineer the database for the new version and will probably make a number of random comments that make little sense to those not familiar. If anyone is interested I can detail a bit of what I'm doing, some is damn useful if you're catapulted into taking care of a database.

Looking at Old Archives and Issues, Development 9 Comments [7/12/2014 3:23:11 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 103540

Random Quotes View:

Consists of a Listing of Quote Details as described previously without the 'Read On From This Point Link'. This listing is ordered randomly from all quotes allowed by the filters.

Filters work almost the same as the default listing, but in this case there are no pages. There is a single page of Quotes pulled at random from all quotes matching the defined filters. If a tag is selected only quotes from that tag will be displayed, for year only quotes from that year, for month only quotes matching both that year and that month. These can all be used in conjunction with each other to make as broad or as limited a random pool as possible.

So, all over everything random pages will be back, all new ability to get random quotes from given years, and with further ability to pick from any of the defined tags which I'll be revisting once I have the basics together. Unless I get creative though I can't support the "Read On From this Point link" on the random page, otherwise it's not exactly random since I'd need to be able to pull the same random page twice. It's possible, but unless demand is there I'm not going for it.

Random Quotes, Development 0 Comments [9/16/2014 2:26:07 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 102638

My focus the last few weeks has been cleaning up exactly how the quotes will be handled in the archives and how to best relay that information to the user. Typically my work is designed for people who I don't have the slightest clue what they'll want day to day, but here it's a tad different. Far as I see it we have three user groups, those who are just keeping up with quotes, those in wholesale archive binges working through the archives and those that use the specialized pages to check quotes at more or less random. Which leaves me with very different requirements than the free form style I'm used to.

What I'm thinking is rather simple, a filter set with three selections Tag, Year and Month. Technically Year and month would function as a single selection, defining months like the current archive structure does to limit server overhead. However, knowing the current filter selections would make it very simple for me to allow for jumping from one month to the next while making it perfectly clear what has been done. I've already discussed the tag selection, but if you only wanted to see one particular variety of quote as defined by the tags you could select it along with the month and year and cruise right along.

My other options for the filter selections are either far more complicated or less user friendly. I will be looking into multiple tag selection in terms of performance(I have something that works in theory, practice is a different beast) in the future. The less friendly part would be allowing for user defined date ranges, if for some reason you had a desire to select random days, weeks, months or hours out of the archives of FSTDT, I could totally make that happen. But I wouldn't be able to do any of the nicer "Here's your next set of archives" functionality as the selections allowed would be arbitrary. Call me on it if you think I'm wrong.

But, all said, when you first reach a page from the site index it will have no date selected, so it will show a page with the most recent records for the given tags(or no tags at all) and the dates will only be assigned on the second page you navigate to. So, no more blank of the month. I just need to figure out how to keep from repeating quotes on the second page during the month cross over.

So I'm rather happy with that and will be pounding on the functionality this weekend. But I've had one other thought, would people be interested in a "You where here" link that takes them back to the same place they were viewing in the archives, setting either something at the account level that lets you jump back to place, or generate a copyable link to do the same?

Filters and Archive Binge Enabling, Development 2 Comments [8/7/2014 3:42:58 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 117201

Fundies 2016 voting is over, I'll be calculating the totals as I have time this week, so no totals should be available later than Sunday.

Till next year, Fundies 2016 Voting 2 Comments [3/1/2016 3:38:14 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 115875

Happy new year folks, quick run down time:

Been sick as a dog the last week
Got promoted the week before that because my boss was leaving
Busy is an understatement when I've been able to do anything
Yes we will be doing fundie of the year, I'll be working on that this weekend and setting up categories hit me with suggestions in the comments below.

My host for the preview site has had a few billing irregularities this last week, so that will be coming down by the end of the month. Anyone who knows good .net hosts let me know, I may well be having a conversation with my current one to see if I can't get my plan tweaked a bit to fit the site better.

That whole someone taking over the site thing didn't pan out, no one with the time and the money popped up. In the end I can't quite bring myself to say do or die and off the site, but I will say if there is someone interested I'd love the help. And I got plenty of offers to help in other ways which I'll be working out once I actually have some time again. It bugs me that I don't have the time to free up some time, but it goes that way at some points so hold on for the ride.

What's that mean? Well, I have a crap load of people who want in to public admin and a few folks who have volunteered to do quote corrections or even full administration. So with some luck that means less waiting on me to get quotes out soon as I get folks setup. Also, I've secured a new community location and I've been pounding out some rough guidelines. Going to finish those and make sure the volunteers are fully on board with them before it launches. May prioritize that for fundie of the year discussion, scream if that interests you.

Now I'm off to make dinner, hope everyone had a great new year, Operations 10 Comments [1/4/2016 3:55:25 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 114406

Sample Site is out!

Only took me three days longer than I hoped, and I just dicked around another half hour tuning the Latest Comments a bit, but here it is:

Test Site Ahoy!

Note the data is over a year old, and any submissions to it will be tossed with the test data. But if you want to see what I'm planning for an interface, or just want to select random fundie quotes from every month of may the site has had, it can do that. Click around a bit and yell at me if you break something, I've left the error messages full, so just give me the whole text in a comment here.

Free Samples!, Development 41 Comments [11/11/2015 12:48:57 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 114665

Rolling along with some parallel projects at work. I have the basics of the current iteration of .NET Identity working, and frankly don't need half the additional features at work, so I'm going to use that knowledge to build out the fuller version for the site including registration, password recovery and basic user functionality as I have time. Which should let me give people public admin access to see what I have, and then blow time on some admin interfaces before coming back around to do the interface cleaning. Depending on what time I have when I'll be in and out with updates.

That said, I have something resembling a personal life which is making this rather difficult to focus on so I'm glad I'm down to more bite sized chunks.

After all that, Development 0 Comments [11/19/2015 7:48:11 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 103672

Search View:

The re-worked search will include a number of new features on top of what should promise to be a considerably faster searching algorithm. Any new filters are followed with an asterisk

Filters include:
Quote Author
Quote Location
Quote URL*
Quote Content
Quote Year*
Quote Month*
Quote Tag*

Comment Author
Comment Content
Comment Year*
Comment Month*

Any quotes matching all of the entered filters will be displayed as a Quote Details listing. If any comment filters are used then the earliest matching comment will be displayed directly under it's related quote, with a link to a view featuring a listing of all comments matching the search filters which displays the count of matching comments. Each listed comment will include a link to it's location within the Quote Comment Listing.

Yay, something different finally! Sort of, I'm still lifting most of the display from other parts of the site. Let nothing bad be said about code reuse or display templates. That said, I'm debating a few parts of this still, the date filters on comments are a big one. Not sure if I should let them be used without Author or Content specified, but odds are someone could find a use for that anyway. Further, listing more than one matching comment so it's less likely that people have to dig into the Search Comment Listing, it's possible, but I'm torn on where the cut off should be. So for right now I'm putting it at one as that is by far the easiest number to deal with and still keep the comments in the page.

The last outstanding bit of site theory is the Quote Comments pages. I should hit that mid week.

Search, Development 0 Comments [9/21/2014 8:57:36 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 103671

Top Voted View:

Single page listing of Quote Details ordered by the vote value and limited by the Tag, Year and Month filters. Year and Month filters function off the Quote Date Posted.

Pretty simple here, which is probably why I'm compelled to check on a similar idea brought up in the comments. A view that filters dates not by the Date Posted, but by votes entered within the selected range. What I could do here would be Popular [tag here if there is one] quotes of [specified time range] pages. I'd need to do some building out again in terms of precalculated tables, but honestly I don't think it'd be all that bad to do. I'd just need to include updating the pre-calc table values in the voting updates and it'd be more or less ready to go if I plugged it into the procedures I already have and the interfaces the other pages will need.

But, there's one rather stupid problem with it that I see, if you don't select a date range it'll look exactly like the Top voted page. In fact I'm not particularly sure there'd be a notable difference. I'm going to look at it next time I'm in the system.

Top Voted View, Development 0 Comments [9/21/2014 8:45:58 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101733

Alright, I've largely settled into the backend needs and high level design for most of the site so it's time to do a check on another suggestion. Making the site open source, I'm not opposed to this, but as with the community articles I would want at least some commitment before I post the code somewhere. Heartbleed and other recent issues should highlight some of the issues with open source, but frankly there's about three places that need security on the site and I'd take all the help I can get with anti-spam and other measures. So, if I get some hands up from people who are already familiar with the tech I'll do the extra setup involved, otherwise I'll get cracking in about two weeks.

Backend Tech I'm talking about, C#, MSSQL, most likely featuring entity framework, MVC and Linq. Honestly the last three are resume padding and not that difficult to get your mind around, so the using C# for web development and MSSQL would be helpful backend. Frontend is most likely going to be jQuery with some more recent CSS and HTML. Very much open to UI design suggestions even if you don't know your ass from your elbow in terms of website design, but I have a core of ideas to work.

The other big decision I'll need to make prior to putting the new site anywhere live is the host. I have a contender but I'm still wide open to suggestion. I'd need .Net hosting for asp.net 4.5 and MVC, a few gigs of available database space and a significant amount of bandwidth. Let me know if anyone has good or bad experiences with a given host.

As a note, I'm going to be a tad busy the next two weeks so I likely won't have time to do another post till after the 4th. But when I do it'll involve something to do with actual development of the site.

Actual Developments, Development 2 Comments [6/22/2014 2:47:01 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101449

Alright, have the basic mockup together. Now that I have it I'm not entirely sure why I thought I needed pictures, anyway here goes.

When you enter public admin you would be presented with a listing of quotes as shown below:

For every quote currently displayed within your public admin filters you'll have one of those.

Mostly what is shown on any given quote page today in a slightly crapper format, excepting the currently suggested tags and the Admin Panel. Well, the format will definitely be better when I spend more than 20 seconds on it, but the black boxes should give any aspiring designers an idea of my general div layout. More partitions can be added as needed, but that's my basics. The suggested tags do a quick show of any tags that have already been selected for the quote and when complete the admin panel will have one of those nice "I'm expandable push me" arrows in it's left corner.

When you push said not-yet-existent arrow the panel for the current quote will expand and display the following:

Giving all the current Admin details for the quote and supplying a method to enter any of information you need to enter.

Issues cover any general observations of a quote, be it corrections that need to be made, or reactions to the quote to explain your vote. In this case we have one person having had a slight overload and noted such. Any text entered into the issue will be saved when the admin changes are submitted, and will be displayed to anyone who examines the quote after that.

Our new big feature, Tags are the next major section. All tags are followed by their current vote count, any tag with a vote count of 1 or higher is selected automatically. If you wish to add a new tag all you need to do is select it, as I have with 'Scary' in honor of the guy in the comments of this quote who seems to think it involves a dead waitress, when the admin changes are submitted it will increase the tag's count from 0 to 1. The remaining tags would increment from 1 to 2. If you disagree with an existing tag, unselecting it will cause you to vote against that tag being included. If a tag is at 0 already, leaving it unchecked won't push it down any farther.

The last section is the quote approval selections, with effectively the same three options we have now along with tracking on how many time each has been given thus far. Approve, Reject(I like it more than Delete) and Abstain. Hitting the Submit Admin Changes button will pass this selection and any other admin panel data to the system through an asynchronous call. What this means is you get a little spinning wheel only on the one quote and can still play with the rest of the quotes you have displayed on the page and the quote will be completely removed from your public admin access. Once the call completes you will receive a notice that your changes have been submitted, and there shouldn't be any conflicts if multiple submissions are made in a short time frame.

What this gives us is the ability to look at all the quotes available, let people ignore certain quotes and continue out of order, not cause anyone to miss quotes if they check into public admin regularly and in the case of duplicates select the best one rather than the first one.

The potential problems would be voting 'irregularities' which I have a real simple plan to get around. Rather than incrementing the vote when a public admin vote is pressed, the entire vote will be recalculated using the most negative vote on record for all voters. Even if someone breaks the system their vote will still only count once.

The undecided mostly consist of the 'Public Admin Filters' I hinted at up above. Right now my plans for those would be having a day by day selection for public admin quotes. You pick a day and you have all of the quotes submitted that day are presented to you. But I'm open to more ideas on that, particularly any that would be useful for identifying duplicated quotes.

Mock Up 1, Development 24 Comments [6/3/2014 4:12:24 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116547

Nominations are up for review in the subreddit!

This isn't voting yet, this is me taking a pass through and seeing if I have a decent enough set of nominations for voting. I'm a bit behind so I'm only going to leave them open to review this week.

I've also got to figure out how I want to handle voting, I've done custom text parsing in the past, but I also didn't have this many items to vote on then. May do something a tad strange unless I find a good poll site. Anyway, take a look at the nominations, yell out any good ones that haven't made it under the categories, and hope to see you guys over there.

Nominations Review, Fundies 2016 0 Comments [2/1/2016 5:08:43 PM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116490

Check out the nominations over on the subreddit as I put them together over the next few days here

Fundies Nominations 2016, Fundies 2016 0 Comments [1/30/2016 7:29:14 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116318

Oi! After entirely too much preamble without any progress I've opened up the FSTDT subreddit.

I've got the basic rules up on the side bar. I'm running the place myself so be fully aware I have minimal tolerance for bullshit of the forum drama variety these days. It's actually a fair part of why I went with reddit. It's roughly as annon as here, and if you want to discuss something that doesn't fit within the rules there's probably another subreddit where you'll be in fine company. Want to screw around with other members of the community, commiserate or generally shoot the shit. Perfectly welcome. Actual discussion of topics, also welcome. I look forward to talking to folks.

That said, I'm running it myself and I'm already short on time these days. If it becomes a time sink I may well close it down. This is a bit of a trial period for me. If you'd like to help moderate the place hit me on the mod mail from the subreddit and we can talk.

subreddit off the port bow, Subreddit is here 12 Comments [1/23/2016 5:26:22 AM]
Fundie Index: 1
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 108325

This is not my week.

Car may be on its final bork so I may be blowing significant amounts of time looking for a new car, preferably something I actually fit into the passenger side of. Time may be limited for a bit, I'll know Wednesday.

In the mean time I'm mucking about with what looks like a solution to the paging issue I had. It's called actually doing the optimization. Found a better set of tools than I had to figure a few things, went from a ten minute and stop it query to under a second WITH full diagnostics running. So. Those things are looking up, hopefully I can get this working like this for a test site this week.

If it's not a cracked engine block I'm good, I think, Development 4 Comments [5/2/2015 4:25:02 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 105782

Phew this is long, don't forget to check below for FOTY nominations, they're still open for the next week.

Routing, mentioned it before and most people probably have no clue what it means, so while I'm sorting it out I'll explain what I'm up to.

The last preview I posted requires a URL like this: http://localhost:60349/Quotes/Index?TagID=2&Year=2008&Month=12&Page=3 Very nice and clean looking right? Well, that's because I haven't handled a damn thing beyond the basics in the routing configuration.

I'll break this down real quick.

This is just my local webserver, funny looking but keeps me from having to publish things to someone else's server

These are the basics of the MVC routing system, /{Controller}/{Action}. I have a controller named Quotes to display the various quote listings and since I'm a lazy ass my default action within the Quotes controller is Index while I get things working. Later I'll be swapping out Index for the type of quote listing you're receiving since I need to make entirely different calls for the same controller depending on the request made. So eventually that portion will look like /Quotes/LatestComment, /Quotes/Newest or /Quotes/Random and each of these would take you to the first page for that particular listing. Notably, this arguably isn't exactly what actions are for as they are supposed to be distinct actions, but given the rather significant differences in calls and otherwise uselessness of doing otherwise I'm using the action to do this split.

This mess, actually not too different from what we have now, but it's what I can do to the routing engine that is worth talking about. I cant take the above and turn it into this:
Easily, with a bit more work I can do this:
Which finally gives you a real idea of what page is coming up, it's the third page of CSTDT for December 2008. Only backwards because I have not yet been assed to consider routing validation that would let me swap the place of month and year. What sense does that make? Well, if I setup the routing well enough I can make sure it knows what to assume when part is missing so that this:
Takes you to the first page for December or this:
Takes you to the first page for all of 2008 or finally this:
Just takes you to the latest quotes in that tag.

So, routing lets me go from what we have today:

Cleaner looking huh. Especially without the month getting converted to text, odds are I'll wind up supporting both number and text representations both at the same time with a bit of work on the routing system. Complex crap to make simple URLs without any of the things you don't have a clue what they are in the URL. It's all stuff that looks like it belongs there.

How this helps me handle the filters, well, what I'm looking at doing right now is having a little pop down menu where you go in and hit the tags and dates you want to read through and immediately take you through to the right page. If anyone cares about the loss of easily visible month numbers let me know, I'm still poking at this.

And a last thing, this also means with some more routing work I can support all of the old URLs you already have favorited. Relatively easily in comparison to what I'm pulling now.

Routing around, Development 2 Comments [1/10/2015 8:06:58 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 117872

Hey folks,

I'm looking for folks who would like to join public admin.

Public admin is how quotes get approved, corrected, and otherwise make it to the main page. I approve items out of the queue on a daily basis and it's been a while since we had enough people to actually approve a quote without my intervention, I'd like to fix that.

If you're interested, comment here with your account and I'll do a review and let folks know if they're in or not. I will most likely handle this on weekends, so it may take me a bit to respond, but I will.

If you want to discuss, hit me over on the subreddit as I check that more.

And a few notes for those who are accepted:

Using Public Admin

Once you've been added to public admin log in to your FSTDT account and go to the home page. On the home page in the right hand column you see a link half way down the column "Admin" with a smartass line of text under it. Click that and you will be brought to the public admin page.

You will be presented with one quote at a time, each quote has three options for you to select, Approve, Delete or Abstain. If you feel it should go onto the mainpage, approve, if you feel it shouldn't Delete, if you don't have much feeling either way abstain. I should note, these are votes to a community total and do not immediately determine the fate of a quote, express your opinion on the quotes freely.

In addition, if you notice an issue with a quote you can make note of it in the 'Issues' field which is below the approval buttons, making the note of it here allows me to fix it before it hits the mainpage. You will also see any notes made by other members of public admin.

Under the quote there are a selection of recent quotes from similar sources to check for duplicated submissions, along with links to a full search of those fields if you have a strong feeling you've seen it but it does not appear on the list.

As a final note, every time you access to the public admin page it will progress to a new quote, I suggest not check the page too often as it will march you past a fair number of quotes if you do.

FSTDT Wants You!, Recruiting 12 Comments [4/1/2016 5:29:08 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 122922

Let's talk about the site and other things!

Post feedback, issues, random comments, death threats, etc. here like in the original "Greet your new masters!" thread.

[Thread's locked because the party's moved here!]

Site / Off-topic Discussion Thread #2, FSTDT 143 Comments [12/8/2016 3:47:19 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 116713

Darndest Quote of the Year, the category for 'most actually amusing quote'

1) A nearly certain Poe from tumblr with 'Did homosexuallity kill off the dinosaurs?'

2) Roosh V with the Defcock system

3) achilles1974 of alternet with 'The Theist understanding of the anus'

Darndest Quote of the Year 2016, Fundies 2016 Voting 26 Comments [2/8/2016 6:00:28 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 124117

I am posting this from my phone, so please pardon any terseness or errors. So was my last post, and it is awful. I swear to God I was not drunk. I just couldn't see more than three lines at a time. I usually don't write things like blog posts in complete sentences until after I have an outline of what I want to say, otherwise I will inevitably forget something. You can see how I forgot being coherent in the last post. (Edit: Back on my laptop. Now you can't see it much anymore, because I edited it. I'm cool with letting funny near-incoherence stand, but there was one part where I couldn't even remember WTF I was trying to say and couldn't make any sense of it.)

But I wanted to officially go say the FQA forums are back with us again and a part of FSTDT again!! They're still an independent part of FSTDT, though. I'm not a mod there — I just can't handle the forums and main site at the same time — so plz put questions about the forums there. Also be sure to behold the spiffy new logo.

I haven't forgotten about the FSTDT Awards. I've just been busy with other things too mostly work. I've also been babysitting my parents' dog and she's the most adorable thing. She won't be fucking still long enough for me to get a decent picture though. >:( Anyway, I'll verify the votes for the last round of the FSTDT Awards and announce winners either tomorrow, or barring that, some time within the next couple days after that.

FQA, Now FSTDT Forums again!! 0 Comments [1/31/2017 2:41:27 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 102016

Oi hoy,

Working my way through more quotes now and I've nailed the blatant spam. That said we get a shitload of comments a day, if you guys catch something report it here for me. Odds are I'll be cleaning it up regularly for a bit until the spammer realizes I'm back. I'll include old spam in this too, can't hurt to clean up the site a bit, just give me a day or two to deal with it.

And a did you know, only 28.58% of the use of the word penis since June first has been contained within spam, when we have a penis enlargement pill spammer. Just saying guys.

Spam!, Oh Boy! 8 Comments [7/6/2014 2:33:19 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101991

Vacation got a tad more vacationy than expected. Getting the quotes out now. Expect a deluge.

Whoops, Operations 6 Comments [7/5/2014 4:20:41 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101334

I've been kicking around a public admin design I'm going to post at least one mock up of this weekend, and in doing so I think I have a good start. I also realized I have a few core tags I know I want to have.

Funny, Stupid and Scary.

These three tags could go a long way in picking out quotes you'd rather see at the moment and if a quote is submitted and doesn't hit one of these three we know off the bat to dismiss it.

Beyond that I've been going back and forth with the idea of making the archives themselves tag based. Having Fundie, Conspiracy and Racist tags and rather than doing some separate archive plus tag setup, the site would be able to generate an archive for any given tag. Perhaps even combinations of them(this'd be more of a pain in the ass). On the upside this would allow for multi-category posts to be tagged as such clearly, on the down side it would mean they'd show up multiple archives and I'm not sure how well having the same quote in multiple places would go over.

Things to ponder while I try and figure out how I got a cold in May.

Mucking about with Tags, Development 3 Comments [5/28/2014 2:44:09 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101221

Having done my serious review of the code, I'm going to bump the full reworking of the site up rather than trying to get a handful more features added into what already exists. The code works, but that's about the extent of it, aside from search which I've completely re-written and some of the core quote retrieval code there's little to salvage in what I have.

But, the bits of good news:
*User accounts won't be removed, I have control over the data and can port accounts to whatever I need to.
*I'm going to do some improvements to general lay out, but I will keep the relatively simple layout because it works on damn near anything. Just some rounding or nicer menus. Maybe even a "Change your archive" selection that's actually visible.
*Friendlier URLS will be a thing, and I'll do my damnedest to continue to support core existing URLs. I don't see any reason I can't keep them as of now.
*The crux of my implementation is going to be tags, particularly in seeing if I can get them to work along with some of the key technology improvements I've been eyeing.

There are a few other smaller bits that I'm looking at working in based on people's suggestions, and I intend to have at least a high level specification for what I'll be producing for public consumption and critique before I start getting into the heavy lifting. But the core of this is, unless it's a bug fix it'll come along with the new version. I'll take reports of bugs and deal with them as they come up, but I've been fighting the urge to make myself a cone of shame as I looked over what I'm working with after four years of professional development, so it's not getting any more work done for it.

Cone of Shame, Development 11 Comments [5/21/2014 7:08:17 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101145

[Admin Note 6/1/2014: Public Admin requests are currently closed, will be opened in a new post later.]

Public Admin for those not aware is the process used to approve quotes for the main page.

In theory the system can be self sustaining, members vote their way through the quotes in queue, 15 up votes and it goes live, 5 down and it's dropped from the queue. Right now I have just under 10 active members in public admin and I'm following the queue at about a week delay to allow members time to vote on quotes and note any issues they find to do final approvals since there aren't enough to get an approval through on just member votes.

Which brings me to two points,

Leaving them up for a week ensures that the members get a chance to see them, but leaves topical quotes seven days removed from being news. I'm considering shortening that, but I know we don't get a whole lot of votes on a few days of the week, so the most I might narrow it down to would be two days.

I'm looking for more members interested in joining public admin. Right now if you can see this post you're signed up with an account, if you express interest in the comments I'll do some checking up on your site activity and most likely bump you up to public admin status. I'm not going to demand quotas, but a few minutes a day can go a long way in streamlining the process, particularly if you pick up on issues for me to correct before the quote goes live.

Public Admin, Operations 24 Comments [5/17/2014 6:16:02 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101094

Number one request right now is tags, which has been for quite some time. Which has the slight problem of directly conflicting with how the archive displays work right now. All of the displays on the site take advantage of ASP.NET databinding, which most simply translates as one row of data is one row on the display. When a page of the archive is called up the site goes and gets a set of quotes as rows in a table, each row is one displayed quote consisting of a number of set fields that always exist.

With tags I don't have a set number of fields. I have however many tags as I need to apply to the quote. Which is rather simple to track in the database, but the current display mechanism simply doesn't support it. There are a number of methods I could use to attempt and integrate into the existing display mechanism but it would violate the only worthwhile principle built into the code to do so and create more problems in doing any further modifications later.

That said, in the last four years I've dealt with this kind of problem a number of times elsewhere and have some reasonably solid solutions that could function, if I completely re-write the core mechanisms of the site. At which point I may as well overhaul the entire thing, keeping the handful of things that really do work well and drag the site into some semblance of modern interface design while I'm at it.

Which is pretty much what I plan to do as I snag a few more books on subjects I'm less familiar with than core applications development. Over the next few weeks I'm going to start working out exactly what I can implement in a reasonable time frame and what I can't and lob out questions on just what people are interested in seeing but for today I'm going to start with the details of what people want to see from tags.

Should tags be relatively simple, relating to any aspect of a quote, or should we have sets of tags relevant to who's being quoted and what the quote is about? Beyond that, just what set of tags would be sufficient to cover the quotes as we have them? I've watched what happens with open tag creation, and the merging and hacking of tags that goes on, so I'd much rather have a defined set of them to select from. But too large a set and they're difficult to use, too small a set and they don't cover much.

What are people's opinions on tag handling? What tags would you want to see?

Tags, Development 10 Comments [5/14/2014 11:18:46 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 101029

Search has been overhauled, and it may or may not be noticeable.

The two big notable changes.
First, search no longer assumes the page will persist on the initial search, which means the page doesn't load the results, it kicks you to a new page that does, and if you back up to that page it will always have the first page of results available. Thanks to Goomy pls for pointing out the issue.
Second, you can now filter by archive if you wish.

The backend has been completely replaced, actually split into two pieces so that the majority of cases can run a simpler request which should run faster than the old system. Bit of an adventure getting everything to work, but everything you enter will go in to further refine your search. That said, adding to this would be dead simple compared to the old setup, if anyone has requests they'd like to see for search let me know.

Getting myself a new desk and playing carpenter today, but I will get some details on tags up by mid week. Specifically why they're a pain in the ass, and where I could use community help.

Wildcards and Equals Signs, Updates 8 Comments [5/11/2014 3:43:31 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 100958

I have a few features I said were coming ages ago which I want to see if anyone still cares about. If you have any particular interest in the following vote the post up and if it's a single item on the list mention it in the comments:

* Quote Submission Tracking
** See what your Quote status is
** Possibly get notifications through email of approval
* Submitted quote management
** Manage submitter display
** Claim quote submitted under your email
* Marking Favorites
** Creating your own personal archive

None of these would tie up Tag implementation any longer than it's already going to be. Which I'll start running through the details of next week once I finish off the reworking of the search function this weekend.

Oldies, Features 13 Comments [5/7/2014 2:33:20 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 122879

There's an issue where users won't stay logged in more than 24 hours. I'm not sure what is causing it, and I may have to get Distind to come back and fix it, because the source code of the latest version of the site is disassembled (the original was lost), and the disassembled version is nigh unreadable in places, especially the code involving user accounts. If worst comes to worst, I'll rewrite the entire session / login code myself. It might take a week or two to fix this issue. I'm really sorry it's taking so long to work out this annoying little bug.

In other news, I'm gonna throw up a post for nominations for Fundie of the Year awards either later today or tomorrow.

Postponing Fundie of the Year nominations until after this bug is fixed.

That login issue, we're workin' on it 4 Comments [12/6/2016 7:26:04 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 122911

I think I got a fix in place for the login issues. Let's cross our fingers and pray to the web.config gods that it works.

Edit: I am tentatively calling this "fixed." If you are reading this, post a comment letting me know if your login is "sticking" now or not.

fixed, maybe possibly hopefully 2 Comments [12/8/2016 8:27:35 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

2016 FSTDT Awards

Nominees and Candidates

Quote# 122962

Here are the candidates and nominaitons for the 2016 FSTDT Awards!

Thanks to everyone who made nominations! Also special thanks to my husband and Pharaoh Bastethotep for their help doing tl;dr snippets of the quotes

When casting your votes on quotes — for either a Fundie of the Year candidate or for a Quote of the Year nomination — remember that the snippets provided here are intended to be a convenience giving you a general gist of what the quotes are about. If you decide to vote for a particular quote, then you should first click its quote-number link and read the original quote in its entirety to make sure you don't have any second thoughts. It is also a wise idea to consider your second pick as well and read its full quote too before casting your final vote: if you change your mind after voting, your vote will not get to change with it. All votes are final with the exception of typos or similar errors. If you find yourself equally torn between two or more candidates, then you should definitely always read their full quotes before deciding!

You don't have to cast a vote on everything up for vote. You may abstain from as many or as few things as you like, but remember that you lose your abstained vote; you cannot use it as an "extra" vote somewhere else.

Religious fundie of the year

• David J Stewart – #122928: Leviticus selectivity, shellfish ok, gehs bad
Sassy – #122088: "I flew in a plane what is different between that space and the space higher up? Where did Jesus go to when he was seen ascending into heaven? If Space is above the clouds where is heaven? You see there is a difference between Man and God the heavens above and heaven"
cmdrjones – #121628: "Atheists have constitutional rights by being citizens, but by denying the existence of a creator no one with two brain cells to run together would trust that they would respect anyone else's rights. So, they simply should never be afforded political power... What with their miserable track record and so on. "
• kingjameswriter1965 – #122435: "Now they claim they can use this hadron collider to bring forth the Devil and all his fallen ones."
Mack Major – #118255: "People who come from a voodoo or an old southern hoodoo background know about spirit husbands. These are actual spirit entities that become attached to a woman through ungodly sexual and spiritual activity."
Catholic Nationalist – #117704: "Catholicism is objectively the coolest religion. So cool in fact that the word cool is not nearly sufficient. What other religion allows you to literally eat God every day?"

Right-wing fundie of the year

Abolish Abortion Florida – #121877: "The political committee Abolish Abortion Florida (AAFL) has launched a ballot initiative to amend the state's constitution to punish abortion as capital murder."
Donald Trump – #122148: [Donald's twitter tirades are, mercifully, already auto-summarized by Twitter's 144-character limit, but they are too numerous to list; we'll do a short vote on picking one if he wins. –shy]
Jim (Jim's Blog) – #120562: "We should protect our gays from Muslims and kill them ourselves."
Roosh Valizadeh – #120431: "Punish Trump haters with your cock: Besides the punitive element of withholding your cock from a Trump hater, we can also look at it from a time-saving perspective. If you are masculine, you simply won’t connect naturally with a feminist who hates Trump."
Students Against a Democratic Society – #116770: "We’ve done slavery (Issue 3), we’ve done lynching (Issue 11) – well, we haven’t done them, but you know what I mean."
The Last Trump – #118465: "[Appeals Court Rules in Favor of Virginia Transboy Who Sued School District to Use Men’s Restroom] THIS, is one of the biggest issues of our time!? Sort of reminds you of Nero fiddling while Rome burned doesn't it?"
Vox Day – #121392: "TL;DR: The Alt Right is a Western ideology that believes in science, history, reality, and the right of a genetic nation to exist and govern itself in its own interests."

Left-wing fundie of the year

nikkipotnik420 – #120947: "You defend trans 'women' because its just another way for men to force women to coddle males and put them before our own needs and its transparant as fuck."
Mark Carey, et al. – #117469: "Feminist glaciology is rooted in, and combines, both feminist science studies and postcolonial science studies to meaningfully shift present-day glacier and ice sciences."
Johan Nygren – #118613: "Diagnoses are the contemporary equivalent of racial biology. [...] It’s ADHD and bipolarity and schizophrenia and autism was used to legitimize wage slavery"
University of Capetown Students – #122204: "They believe that [...] you are able to send lightning to strike someone. So, can you explain that scientifically" [Response: "It's not true."] "What you're trying to do is collapse the space and make it antagonizing, which we will not allow. This is a progressive space for people to say their opinions."
National Union of Students – #118198: "The National Union of Students’ LGBT Campaign has passed a motion calling for the abolition of representatives for gay men – because they 'don’t face oppression' in the LGBT community."
Aysegul Gurbuz (Labour Party Moonbat) – #118102: "If it wasn't for my man Hitler these Jews would've wiped Palestine years ago. Sorry but it's a fact. [...] Not hating on Jews btw"
Bailey – #117389: "It’s not irresponsible behavior to not tell someone you have hiv [...] It’s not irresponsible to have sex with somebody without telling them."

Conspiracy theorist of the year

GLP Anonymous Cowards – #122457: "DO NOT GIVE IN AND MASTURBATE BEFORE THE ELECTION. It will lower your core energy to the lower chakra levels where that the demonic scum need the population to reside in for their ritual magick to be effective."
Nicolas Maduro – #123066: "He added that the situation is an attack by Colombian criminal groups and Venezuela's MUD opposition coalition "combined with international mafias via an NGO hired by the US Treasury." [...]The NGOs, according to the official, hire criminal organizations to move 100-bolivar bills, the largest bill in circulation now, to Colombia and from there to other countries, such as Switzerland, Poland, Ukraine, Spain, Germany and the Czech Republic, where the money is stored in large warehouses."
Alex Jones – #118606: "I’m pro-human so I say, black people, especially, stop killing your kids and get them in church, whatever, take them away from Beyoncé, who wants to eat their brain with the CIA, literally."

Sexist of the year

nikkipotnik420 – #120947: "You defend trans 'women' because its just another way for men to force women to coddle males and put them before our own needs and its transparant as fuck."
sexselector – #101724: "Pain should never be considered a part of life. Being in pain is not a good evolutionary strategy. [...] Men’s choices in the patriarchy *created* women’s pain."
Matt Forney – #117165: "It’s time to stop beating around the bush: feminists want to be raped."
Saint Elliot – #122565: "The pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death. Their sexual resources get wasted with the current system and people often die because there aren't enough organ donors."
David J Stewart – #120671: "If your husband wants his cereal in a certain bowl or wants you to wear a certain dress in public... JUST DO IT! If your husband wants you to rinse his glass for 15 seconds or asks you to roll his socks into a ball... JUST DO IT! If your husband wants more grain in his meals... JUST DO IT! If your husband doesn't like the smell of certain foods when you cook them... then DON'T DO IT! If your husband wants you to put the twist back onto the loaf of bread... then JUST DO IT! If your husband wants the toilet seat up at all times... then JUST DO IT! It may not seem fair to you but it is YOUR JOB ladies to HELP your husband."
Vox Day – #117889: "If the definition of rape is stretched so far to include women who have not given consent, then I am absolutely a serial rapist. So, too, is every man I know."
Navigator – #123052: "Rape should be legal. It is this simple. A woman is a sexual object."

Racist of the year

James Laffrey – #116723: "The jews say Adolf Hitler ordered a 'Final Solution' of extermination of the jews. But Hitler, a humanitarian, a vegetarian, an artist, did no such thing — although, again, he should have."
Wotans Krieger – #117230: "In the Reich that is to come these bastardised noble familes will have no place of honour for they are enfeebled distortions of the once racially pure Germanic aristocracy. Thus we must begin again the restoration of the caste system. Building on the vision of the Rigsthula I propose that these reconstituted castes [...] The Rigsthula makes it clear that this caste was an alien one. The very presence of the Thrall in our lands represents a very real threat to our biological survival as a racial community. Some of these Thralls may outwardly appear to be people of our own blood but the obese, the sexual degenerate, the drug addict, the alcoholic and the career criminal should be regarded as part of this slave under class and the necessary corrective measures undertaken. They are the Untermenschen much prized by the liberal elite."
Janet Bloomfield – #117222: "Don't ban [the burka]. Use it to pick the next one to deport. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #WhyWomenShouldNotVote"
Vox Day – #121315: "As it happens, the ruination of the United States is the result of the 'contributions' of two groups of immigrants, Irish and Jewish."

Single-issue wonk of the year

David J Stewart: Creepy-ass Taylor Swift fixation
• #123073: "This perverted screenshot of Miss Swift to the right only appears in this 3:54 minute video for ONE SECOND TOTAL!!!"

Mack Major: Witchcraft and the Occult
#122812: "The biblical word for medicine in the New Testament is pharmakeia: and it means SORCERY. In other words witchcraft, occult power, black magic and potions. Why would Jesus Christ expect His followers to rely on the power of witchcraft or black magic to save them???"

Navaros: God's Holy Righteous Penis

Ann Barnhardt: Made-up fundie disease "Diabolical Narcissism"
#122361: "Diabolical Narcissism is of the most severe variety, what we refer to as “psychopathy”, and thus she [Hillary Clinton] is an Alpha Narcissist, very much desirous of personal power, all the way up to the national and even global level."

WorldGoneCrazy - Anti-abortion crusader
#120192: "All I know is that if fetuses could defend themselves with a gun, there would be no abortions."

Vox Day - Evolution denialism
#120508: [Eric Hovind is refuted by a sixth grader] "[i]t is a form of intellectual combat where the goal is to discredit the interlocutor. [...] Frankly, I'd be surprised and a little disappointed if I didn't have the kid in tears and questioning his faith in science within minutes after asking such a pair of stupid questions [...] Destroy the interlocutor."

Vulture of the year

#122859: Mack Major – "Someone may ask 'Why are you using this tragedy to promote your ebook?' The simple answer is because it saves lives! Hate to say I told you so, but had those who were partying read my ebook, they most likely would not have been there in the first place [at the Oakland warehouse fire]"
#119803: crunchymama – "My heart is heavy over every aspect of this. that some of those killed were believers[...] that everyone involved turn to Jesus, that our 2nd Amendment rights aren't taken away"

Batshit-insane person of the year

usachinanukewar, #117354: "This divine pneumonia time bomb in my lungs implanted by Jesus years ago is the best ever gift I’ve received from Jesus."
ComeOnPeople, #122200: "I know longer believe what the government told me about the world. To me they have taken the biblical account and turned it upside down. Making everything revolve around the sun, which is contrary to what the bible says and what scientists and historical artifacts claimed up until nasa."
Vox Day, #119003: "War destroyed the body, but it did not destroy the spirit and the soul in the way peace and prosperity have."
Saint Elliot, #123058: "Heck, I even considered having sex with a dog cadaver that died outside my window but sadly the janitor threw it away before I could go out and get it at night."

Funniest quote of the year

#106783: "We will use your leaning tower of pizza to throw off homosexual"
#120864: "Of course, [FSTDT commenters] are all socks of Valri, so the logistics are not too difficult. :-)"

Nightmare fuel quote of the year

• #119250 (Ryon Travis sov-cit house of horrors)
#120032: "Recent discourse on child pornography falsely portrays it, like child sex in general, as a disaster for the child. [...] Yet there are many children seen in child pornography whose words, facial expressions, body language, and orgasms show that they thoroughly enjoy the sexual activity, sometimes enjoying it immensely."

One-liner of the year

#122830: "You don't know how much you should fear Jesus"
#119953: "If I could be in the bedroom of every pro-choicer's when they have sex just to talk to them, I would. I could make them see how beautiful life actually is."
#121425: "Beware the beast Hildabeast Clinton and her Vagenda of Manocide"

WTF?! quote of the year

• #122633: "[STEM] Syllabi promote the positivist view of knowledge by suggesting that there are correct conclusions that can be drawn with the right tools [...] the syllabi reinforce the larger male dominant view of knowledge as one that students acquire and use to make correct decisions."
• #123064: "[Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop] explained that his first name represents 'the explosion of awareness of the interconnectedness of the infinite love in the universe.' Doo-doo 'is the struggle of our daily lives with that awareness, that with love comes chaos,' and Zopittybop-bop-bop 'is the outcome of that struggle, which is often ironic, especially because all life ends in death.'"
#120864: "Of course, [FSTDT commenters] are all socks of Valri, so the logistics are not too difficult. :-)"

Incel quote of the year

#122565: "The pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death. Their sexual resources get wasted with the current system and people often die because there aren't enough organ donors."
#121548 "Modern Western women hate respect. They hate consent. They love bloody beatings. They love death. [...] You are the ones who don't see what's wrong."
#123058: "Heck, I even considered having sex with a dog cadaver that died outside my window but sadly the janitor threw it away before I could go out and get it at night."

Board of the year

Return of Kings

Commenter of the year (winner!)

Hasan Prishtina

Troll of the year

Anonymous "enlightened seer" (see here for where the madness begins — one can only hope it's a Poe)

Conspiracy theory of the year

The Mandela Effect

The Nominations, 2016 FSTDT Awards Nominations 1 Comments [12/10/2016 12:04:43 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

2016 FSTDT Awards

Fundies of the Year, Round Two

Quote# 123265

1/2/2007: Voting time for round 2 is over. The final round will be ready later today or tomorrow!

This is the page to cast your votes in round two of the 2016 FSTDT Awards for Fundies of the Year. If you want to cast votes for the 2016 FSTDT Awards Quotes of the Year or the other categories, you can do that here.

What's new this round?

This time around there are more candidates but fewer quotes up for vote. It may seem like a whole lot, but since there are fewer options, it won't take as long to read through them or decide. But, still, since there are so many things up for vote this round, and most of it was already up for vote last round, you may say "same as last time" or something along those lines if your vote for a fundie is still the same this time — but if you do this, make sure that what you voted for last time made the cut to this round; if it didn't, you obviously can't vote for it again, so if I catch this, I'll let you know and give you a chance to change your vote accordingly.

Just as last time, you can also abstain from voting for as many or as few categories as you want for any reason. Voting in general works exactly the same as in the last round. (See the next section and my sample ballot for this round.)

Due to the sheer number of third-place ties, I decided to narrow the number of quotes per fundie down to two instead of three (except for my man Joe Eigo). All of the "greyed out" categories from round one are now open for voting. Candidates with only one quote are placed together in "grab-bag" categories this round. Treat the grab bags like the other sections, and vote for one candidate in each. Everyone in the grab bags that gets at least one vote "win"s this round and moves on to the final.

I also changed the phrasing "three rounds of elimination" to say "two rounds of elimination" like it should have been — this is a correction, not actually a change in the voting process. We'll be pitting fundie-against-fundie in the next and final round.

Finally, I will not be manually counting quotes this round since the Visual Basic + Transact-SQL script I wrote for this purpose seems to be working correctly. I will still manually skim over and verify everything at the end of the round, though.

The Rules — read them (again) before voting

A lot of people seem to be confused about how voting is working this time, so I decided to rewrite the rules to be a bit clearer and their purpose more transparent. I've deleted the improperly casted votes to give the voters an opportunity to try again now that I've (hopefully) made things clearer.

When we did nominations, I divided quotes into two broad categories: Fundies and Everything Else. This was because the fundie nominations were going to be handled differently. When we nominated fundies for the different award categories this time, we also nominated some of their quotes to go with them. The idea here is to determine the Fundie of the Year using two rounds of elimination based on the quotes we collected.

In the first round of elimination (the previous round), voting was done to narrow the number of quotes for each fundie down to three two. In the second round of elimination (this round), we repeat the same process with the remaining quotes that each nominee has, and the previously closed categories are open for voting. This time the goal is to narrow the number of quotes down to one per each fundie in each award category, and to filter out the grab-bag fundies that get no votes. Finally, in the third and last round, we actually pit the fundies against each other. The winning fundie in each award category is decided by voting on which one has the best winning quote from the previous process of elimination.

This process may seem needlessly complicated (and I realize that now), but it is not without a purpose. In previous years, the FSTDT awards were very predictable to me, and there wasn't very many voting opportunities to influence the outcome. Victors frequently won in landslides and curbstomped their competition. That's not very fun. You'll hopefully see that this time around the quotes chosen for the final fundie-against-fundie vote will be more competitive, and the final round of voting will be much closer, more unpredictable, and actually at least a little entertaining to follow and keep track of.

Now for the actual voting!

On the list of nominations here, find the corresponding section to each bullet on the ballot below, and use that list to cast your vote for each bullet. I know it seems like a lot since there are more candidates with quotes up for vote, but there are fewer quotes overall, and it should take you less time to cast your ballot. As before, follow the example I set forth in my ballot below (I'm actually abstaining from voting since I'm hosting and moderating the awards, but those are the picks I would've made if I were actually participating).

The Ballot

• Religious fundie quote grab bag
• Religious fundie quote, kingjameswriter1965
• Religious fundie quote, Mack Major (new!)
• Religious fundie quote, Catholic Nationalist
• Wingnut quote grab bag
• Right-wing fundie quote, Jim
• Right-wing fundie quote, Roosh Valizadeh
• Right-wing fundie quote, Students Against a Democratic Society
• Right-wing fundie quote, The Last Trump
• Right-wing fundie quote, Vox Day
• Moonbat quote grab bag
• Left-wing fundie Quote, Antisemitic British Moonbats
• Left-wing fundie quote, Bailey
• Conspiracy theorist quote, Godlike Productions
• Conspiracy theorist quote, Alex Jones
• Sexist quote, Matt Forney
• Sexist quote, SaintElliot
• Sexist quote, David J Stewart
• Sexist quote, Vox Day
• Sexist quote, Navigator
• Racist quote, James Laffrey
• Racist quote, Wotans Krieger
• Racist quote, Janet Bloomfield
• Racist quote, Vox Day
• Single-issue wonk quote, David J Stewart
• Single-issue wonk quote, Mack Major
• Single-issue wonk quote, Navaros
• Single-issue wonk quote, Ann Barnhardt
• Single-issue wonk quote, WorldGoneCrazy
• Single-issue wonk quote, Vox Day
• Vulture of the year
• Batshit "grab bag": include Johan Nygren? (Y/N)
• Batshit-insane person Quote, usachinanukewar
• Batshit-insane person Quote, ComeOnPeople
• Batshit-insane person Quote, Vox Day
• Batshit-insane person Quote, Joe Eigo
• Batshit-insane person Quote, SaintElliot

Happy voting!

The Fundies, 2016 FSTDT Awards, Round Two 11 Comments [12/26/2016 3:26:06 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 123156

As most everyone knows, the site has a lot of bugs. 99% of which are caused by my own poor planning, and tendency to hack together modifications to the site with code that "looks like it works". – Yahweh, October 2007

That's how I'm feeling right now, but I'm getting more competent with each mistake I make and realize, each modification I hack together and have to fix, each time I do something that "looks like it works" but doesn't and I have to figure out why.

Seems I take a more optimistic attitude to it, though. I suppose it's partially because I'm an incorrigible optimist, partially because I have experience with .NET from working with the code of Windows Forms applications, and partially because I also already have a lot of Web development experience under my belt.

But I firmly come from the other side of the tracks when it comes to that; my experience prior to FSTDT has been mostly LAMP (Linux, Apache, PHP, MySQL*), the exception to the LAMP acronym being that one of the projects I worked on professionally mercifully chose PostgreSQL. So far as Apache goes, I've never had to do much work configuring it aside from mod_rewrite.

*I hate MySQL with a passion for so many reasons that are beyond this post, and now that I no longer have to deal with it to get paid, I refuse to work with it.

In other news, voting is now open to anonymous and unregistered users! And that's actually because I programmed, compiled, and 'plugged in' a couple of classes that automatically check for suspicious voting behavior and emails my FSTDT admin account an alert if it catches anything, so I don't have to manually keep an eye on it myself. It intercepts parts of the QuoteComments.aspx codebehind if the current quote is either of the voting pages or the nomination page. It also the first and only Visual Basic code in the current FSTDT codebase, though it's only going to be there temporarily.

Now to the main topic of this post: I was wrong about something I said earlier in the Site / Off-Topic discussion thread, namely that the BBCode processor is an ancient external library. In actuality, it appears to be custom-programmed, or if not, I still have the full source code all the same. The reason for my error is a combination of several coincidences (a couple almost freakishly so) and some stupid assumptions on my part. I feel like a complete fool. But I'll tell you a (not so) little story about what happened:

First, the external coincidences: There is another BBCode processor written in the stone age that has the exact same name as the class files of Distind's. Both of these store their settings and tags in a database, something I find a little unusual for a BBCode processor. Both are also written for the .NET platform, though I can't tell you whether the other BBCode processor was written in C#, VB.NET, or something else entirely. Either way, it almost certainly had to have been one of those two but that's beside the point.

Second, the internal coincidences: A few days after receiving the FSTDT source code, my walking through it led me to the BBCode class files. I skimmed over them (more on the reason for my skimming in just a bit), and a number of identifiers (variable and method/function names) stuck out to me and gave me the impression that these classes were some sort of wrapper* to the "real" external BBCode processor: frequent use of words like get, send, use, precompiled, translate, ConvertArguments, etc. all strike me as "wrapper-like" language. Wrappers are a pretty banal thing so I lost interest pretty quickly and skimmed over that code even less than the the other code in that directory — most experienced programmers have seen a wrapper class or library at some point or another, and some have written them (me being on that list from back when I was a programmer-for-hire).

*So this makes a little more sense, a wrapper is a class or other structured code that acts a mediator between a program's code and an outside library, i.e. all data transfer and other interaction between the program and external library are done through the wrapper class. There several reasons to use a wrapper, but going into that is too far astray from the current topic. Even a nonprogrammer could probably think of a few useful purposes for something like that.

I also noticed a surprising lack of words used in identifiers that I'd expect to see in a BBCode processor: lexer, tokenize, parse, expression, state, seek — basically I was expecting it to work a lot like a compiler that takes programmer-readable source code and compiles (translates) it into computer-readable binaries. I guess I had that assumption because that would be the approach I'd take to programming a BBCode processor — and is the one I'm taking for the one I am making now — since processing / converting data and compiling code are tasks suited to the same basic kinds of algorithms.

Upon arriving at this "realization" about the BBCode processor, I set off to find the "real" BBCode processor. I couldn't find any trace of it in the compiled binary or library folders. I thought that was a little odd (when in actuality it should have been a giant red flag I was not on the right trail — my blond comes from a bottle, but perhaps the chemicals from the dye have been somehow seeping through my scalp and skull and into my brain...) So I decided to go searching the 'net for it, and lo and behold, I find an external .NET BBCode library assembly whose name is identical to the BBCode class name. This must be it!!

...except it wasn't.

This first started to dawn on me when I could not find the DLL to the damned library anywhere, not even the GAC. I even checked for it on the server. Nothing. Hmm... maybe the BBCode classes in the FSTDT source code were borrowed from the source of this. Wait... there is no source code to it available. And no documentation to it. This thing must be shitty. But wait... the FSTDT BBCode classes are also kind of shitty about some things! And both access the BBCodes from a table in the database! Eventually I got the (legitimately) bright idea to just freaking read and comb through the FSTDT BBCodes classes with the same thoroughness I gave the main code — what I should have freaking done in the first place. Lo and behold, it was the real BBCode processor code all along! It's also really, really, really bad in comparison to the code for the rest of the site, which is programmed competently enough. Its primary issue is a lack of polish.

Now for the reason why I didn't do go through the BBCode files with the same attention I gave the others. "I thought it was a wrapper" is only part of the reason — why didn't I read through it and see that it wasn't? The short answer is that, as I started earlier, I was skimming (to be generous), not reading. And the reason for that is that the BBCode class was part of a sub-project whose contents were almost entirely unimplemented, not-quite-complete code* that existed as a sort of island, having no kind of entrance point except for instantiating User and BBCode objects from their respective classes within the sub-project. I was not aware of the latter being referenced at that time, so I just skimmed through it like I did the other unreferenced code, and I arrived at the stupid-ass conclusion I did. And I stuck with that conclusion even after I realized it was referenced.

*I'll talk more about what that code was intended to be for in a later post. It's pretty interesting, and I intend on starting to incorporate some of its ideas into the FSTDT rewrite as soon as its stable and at functional parity with the current version of FSTDT.

I mentioned earlier that the BBCode processor is lik really, exceptionally, extravagantly awful. But if the sloppiness of this thing's code is that bad, then no better are my stupid-ass assumptions, stupid-ass self, and stupid-ass failure to actually seriously read the damn code properly to start with, instead of only doing it after I had was at a complete loss as to what was going on.

Now let's look at some of the code of this, err, masterpiece.

This is just stupid on so many levels, like borderline CodeSOD stupid (sorry, Bossman):
private static Regex UrlRegex = new Regex("\\b([\\d\\w\\.\\/\\+\\-\\?\\:]*)
\\\\\\"\\'\\,\\|\\~\\;]*)\\b", RegexOptions.Compiled);

Programmers in the audience: What is wrong with the above code when it interacts with the following code?
input = HttpContext.Current.Server.HtmlDecode(input);
if (Uri.IsWellFormedUriString(input, UriKind.RelativeOrAbsolute) && YCode.UrlRegex.IsMatch(input))
return input;
return "#";

Can you identify what bug this causes? If you can get it right and explain why, I'll put your name and achievement in an award at the top of this post.

How Not to Read Code, And How Not to Write a BBCode Processor 0 Comments [12/21/2016 1:28:52 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

2016 FSTDT Awards

Fundies of the Year

Quote# 123084

Day after Christmas Update: Voting for round one has closed. Round two will be set up and ready for voting soon.

Christmas Eve Update: This Christmas has been alooot busier than I expected, so you guys are gonna get a couple extra days to vote. I'll check the tally script against my own tallies and set up the next round the day after Christmas. Hope you guys have a merry one!

This is the page to cast your votes in round one of the 2016 FSTDT Awards for Fundies of the Year. If you want to cast votes for the 2016 FSTDT Awards Quotes of the Year or the other categories, you can do that here.

Now open to unregistered and anonymous users!

The Rules — read them before voting

A lot of people seem to be confused about how voting is working this time, so I decided to rewrite the rules to be a bit clearer and their purpose more transparent. I've deleted the improperly casted votes to give the voters an opportunity to try again now that I've (hopefully) made things clearer.

When we did nominations, I divided quotes into two broad categories: Fundies and Everything Else. This was because the fundie nominations were going to be handled differently. When we nominated fundies for the different award categories this time, we also nominated some of their quotes to go with them. The idea here is to determine the Fundie of the Year using three rounds of elimination based on the quotes we collected.

In the first round of elimination (the current round), voting is done to narrow the number of quotes for each fundie down to three. Fundies that already have three or fewer quotes are greyed out on the nominations list for now because they're not up for vote, since they don't need narrowing down to three.

In the second round of elimination (the next round), we repeat the same process with the remaining three quotes that each nominee has. This time the goal is to narrow the number of quotes down to one per each fundie in each award category.

Then in the third round of elimination, we finally pit the fundies against each other. The winning fundie in each award category is decided by voting on which one has the best winning quote from the previous process of elimination.

This process may seem needlessly complicated (and I realize that now), but it is not without a purpose. In previous years, the FSTDT awards were very predictable to me, and there wasn't very many voting opportunities to influence the outcome. Victors frequently won in landslides and curbstomped their competition. That's not very fun. You'll hopefully see that this time around the quotes chosen for the final fundie-against-fundie vote will be more competitive, and the final round of voting will be much closer, more unpredictable, and actually at least a little entertaining to follow and keep track of.

Now for the actual voting!

On the list of nominations here, find the corresponding section to each bullet on the ballot below, and use that list to cast your vote for each bullet. Follow the example I set forth in my ballot below (I'm actually abstaining from voting since I'm hosting and moderating the awards, but those are the picks I would've made if I were actually participating).

The Ballot

• Religious Fundie Quote, kingjameswriter1965
• Religious Fundie Quote, Catholic Nationalist
• Right-wing Fundie Quote, Jim
• Right-wing Fundie Quote, Students Against a Democratic Society
• Left-wing Fundie Quote, Nicolas Maduro
• Left-wing Fundie Quote, Antisemitic British Moonbats
• Conspiracy Theorist Quote, Nicolas Maduro
• Sexist Quote, Matt Forney
• Sexist Quote, SaintElliot
• Sexist Quote, David J Stewart
• Sexist Quote, Vox Day
• Racist Quote, James Laffrey
• Racist Quote, Wotans Krieger
• Single-Issue Wonk Quote, David J Stewart
• Single-Issue Wonk Quote, Mack Major
• Single-Issue Wonk Quote, Navaros
• Single-Issue Wonk Quote, WorldGoneCrazy
• Single-Issue Wonk Quote, Vox Day
• Batshit-Insane Person Quote, usachinanukewar
• Batshit-Insane Person Quote, Vox Day
• Batshit-Insane Person Quote, Joe Eigo
• Batshit-Insane Person Quote, SaintElliot

Happy voting!

Fundies of the Year, 2016 FSTDT Awards 15 Comments [12/18/2016 4:35:35 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 102239

Poking at the database and having a bit of fun if I'm honest. Over the years I've refined the paging code pretty well, but it still involved more work than it absolutely needed too. To make a page it had to go in, figure out how many Comments there were, what order they belonged in, which page of them we wanted and then pull the data out for the page. Still, plenty fast enough and anything more in depth would require a considerable bit of house cleaning to keep it up, because I'd have to make a note of which page the quote belonged on and keep that notation updated or we'd wind up with odd numbers of comments on pages and bad quote counts.

I figured I'd test and make sure it's worth doing, turns out having the page numbers pre-generated is about five times faster. Even when I'm actually saying I want Quote X's Comments 1-20 rather than specifying a page. So by taking the time to rebuild the site so that it generates and updates these numbers not only should it run faster, I should be able to let people select how many comments they pull per page with relatively little system impact. Within reason.

Now I just need to decide if it's worth blowing an extra half a gig of space to have the absurdly fast index on the table that contains all the relevant data for quote comment pages, or if I do the one that is just really fast and is about 3 megs. But the little one would stand up to user comment modifications better and the index generates in about 5 seconds rather than the two minutes it takes to generate the larger one. Either way, they're both faster and easier to understand than what's running now. They just take more work ahead of time.

Specific details for this, on the current site I'm using RowNumber to generate the row numbers that are used to create pages now. What I intened on doing instead is actually tracking the row number as part of the comment, and for history's sake I'll be using RowNumber(Partion By QuoteID OrderBy ID) which generates exactly what I need, a number of 1-total comment count on a per quote basis and storing those details while all new ones would be generated along with the comment after release. Then when it comes to actually pulling the page all I need to do is say which Quote and what range of Row Numbers I want for a page, which with the right index means it works fast as hell. If anyone's interested I'll go into more detail on the indexes later.

The joy of RowNumber, Development 1 Comments [7/19/2014 8:34:30 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 102202

And the first "Comment of the Ambiguous Time Period".

Dionysus has been having some fun with one of today's quotes from Today Christian here:

I've been snickering at his first answer for a while now. Good read for anyone who needs a laugh out of this place. Plenty of other good ones in there too, but nothing else has stuck with me quite so long.

Inaugural thing of unknown time periods, Community 1 Comments [7/17/2014 1:11:05 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Site/Off-Topic Discussion Thread 3

Electric Boogaloo

Quote# 123678

Let's talk about the site and other things!

Post feedback, issues, random comments, death threats, etc. here like in the other Site/Off-Topic discussion threads.

Site/Off-Topic Discussion Thread 3, Brought to you by Mookitty 101 Comments [1/16/2017 8:31:37 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 120292

Remember that whole attempting to hand off the site thing I did a few months back before I started getting too busy to handle it myself anymore. The busy part of it happened.

Once I have a bit more free time I'll be talking to some of the volunteers and see what I can do to set things up, but given the state of the site itself someone would need to be technically competent to actually take it over without driving themselves insane trying to use the existing tools to handle the random shit I have to deal with on a regular basis.

As it stands I generally have enough time to get quotes out still and half the reason I'm still here is that I refuse to let the shitposter win so I'll always make time for that.

Depending on how my checking in goes we'll see how the future goes, and even in the absolute worst case I know three or four people have expressed interest in preserving the database even if they don't quite know what they will use it for. Which I'd be fine with supplying them once I'd stripped out user identifying data should I ditch.

Don't know exactly what I'm up to now for the future, I can't promise consistent quotes these days given my schedule but I should be able to manage something for the near future.

Where the balls have I been?, Community 1 Comments [7/1/2016 5:49:21 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 122681

This is possibly my last week folks, but good news, you have a gracious new overlord to bow to! Shy is stepping up to take over admin duties and hopefully we can get the transfer worked out without too much wasted time.

That said, web hosts are being changed in the process. Which means there will be a dead stop of fundies content for at least a few hours, possibly a few days. That said I'm going to be snagging and storing all the relevant data before my hosting runs up and we'll start working on data and domain transfer.

Right now I intend on taking the site down Monday the 28th at whenever the balls I remember to do so. After that you'll get error messages for a bit and hopefully the site comes back up before too long. That said, data transfer from my slow ass server is generally in the realm of hours at best at this scale. So be prepped for at least a day. And possibly more as I may have pulled jury duty for that week. I'll find out Friday.

The joys of jury duty are mine, so transfer is going to take a bit. Expect the site to go down around 6pm EST tomorrow, transfer speeds are far better than I'm used to from last time so it may be up sooner than later. I'll post a redirect to the current domain as soon as it's working and we'll get these domains working not too much longer after that.

New boss!, Administration 24 Comments [11/21/2016 3:06:25 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 102544

Oi, work is kicking my ass these days so little progress. That said I posted something that feedback really does matter on the last day off the month because I apparently forgot how the site works. Find it here: http://fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=102483

And be assured that I now entirely agree with the people who aren't fond of the month based setup we have right now.

Busy,  4 Comments [8/4/2014 5:52:25 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 102483

Alright, looking at comment restructuring, bbcodes, ancient comment cleaning and new commenting interface/features this week.

In terms of data structure, I'm not changing a whole lot beyond what I discussed with indexes. I'm setting up a defined row number that will tell me which page the comments belong on regardless of page length, which I eventually make a user setting.

BBCodes, those things that let you muck about with the text, the current implementation is actually the only thing I kept from the original FSTDT code I was handed. It has a few... issues. So I've tracked down a configurable BBCode implementation that I can setup as needed. Which should let me keep all the current codes without any issue. I'll also be putting up an actual listing of how it works on the new site so people can have a real clue what's going on. With some luck it'll even let us link to anchors in URL brackets, but I haven't tested that yet.

Ancient comments, one of ye old issues. Well before I even came to this site a number of comments were ported either from static files or a completely different database structure. They use HTML Markup and otherwise ineffective encoding standards that I need to get cleaned up. Well, I have a test database I can fuck up at will right now so I'm taking a few shots at cleaning them. If anyone is interested in helping a few examples of things that annoy you should let me make sure I put something comprehensive together. If I screw up it's just two hours of downloading the comments again rather than screams and damnation as I cause comments to implode.

Lastly, and the part people are likely to actually care about, the new commenting features I want some feedback on what people would want. The absolute basic right now is changing out the comment creation procedure so that the panel used is created on command and does not cause a page submit(thus causing comment duplication when someone refreshes the page).

Since everything is being built from scratch I can add in some of the features that have been discussed in the past. Either adding in Quote tags with the BBCode setup, or giving the @CommentNumber notation actual link functionality. Quote tags are pretty standard on forums, but they don't have that traditional feeling @CommentNumber has picked up over the years. So, toss a vote in the comments for [Quote] or @CommentNumber and I'll see which I should focus on getting implemented.

Comments!, Development 5 Comments [7/31/2014 8:40:32 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 102387

And damnit, got to remember the joys of SQL Server versions. Started poking at full text indexes, what should be the solution to the issues with search taking ages, only to get the reminder from the system that the version I have for testing doesn't support them. Which also means I have to make sure the new host I'm looking at does support them.

So suck is abundant today. Poking at the core Tag based archive queries instead, but while I do that have some references on just what full text indexing can do.

My favorite part:
Comparing LIKE to Full-Text Search

In contrast to full-text search, the LIKE Transact-SQL predicate works on character patterns only. Also, you cannot use the LIKE predicate to query formatted binary data. Furthermore, a LIKE query against a large amount of unstructured text data is much slower than an equivalent full-text query against the same data. A LIKE query against millions of rows of text data can take minutes to return; whereas a full-text query can take only seconds or less against the same data, depending on the number of rows that are returned.

As you might guess I'm using LIKE now, and it's entirely why things take so long to search. But it's also the way to do text matches that's always available and doesn't take up any space. With me not even having enough space on this server to do regular maintenance without SQL acrobatics being involved.

Anyway, working on Tagging instead. Going with the simple 'One Tag Archive' approach instead of something I can fuck with for months. Once I'm done with that it'll be time to start working on some of the outward facing pages, so we'll see how that goes and revisit full text indexing later.

Balls balls balls, Development 4 Comments [7/26/2014 4:32:54 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 102338

Covered most of what I was doing last time, and 100% of the vote wanted to know more so here goes:

SQL Indexes, they're specifically ordered subsets of the data otherwise contained within the tables. You have a Numeric ID on a table 1-100, you most likely have an index that has nothing but that ID in it to reference that ID as fast as possible. In fact most IDs will have something like that because it makes the random crap developers need to do pretty quick, along with any simple functionality. These indexed columns are the columns your index runs on, when you're looking to make a decision based on certain fields having them indexed means you consult the index and check it in a pre-determined manner rather than checking every piece of data to see if it fits the criteria. The index does a fair bit of the work for you that way, it tells you which record you're looking for as fast as possible if setup correctly.

But that's not all you can do with them, like the old library catalogs you may be too young to remember, there can also be other information stored as an index entry. Summary, publisher, and a whole bunch of other information would be available when you found the index card in the catalog. SQL Indexes can do the same thing. See, in all but the most basic queries just finding the item you're looking for isn't enough, you also need to find information related to that item. Which means you can include columns which are not themselves indexed, but are immediately available from the index when an item is located.

That is what explains the difference in both sizes and effectiveness of the two indexes I was bandying about last post. The small index only contains the columns which are indexed, once the record is found the database engine then has to go consult the table and pull the remaining details. The large index contains ALL of the relevant columns, which happens to be all of the large columns in the comments table, and returns them immediately. As mentioned before, the immediate trade offs are size of the index and speed at which the intended query runs. The large index doubles the size of the table as it contains all the same information, but it runs twice as fast as the smaller index that is a very small fraction of the table size.

However there is one other concern that'll crop up real quick, maintaining the index on a live server. Like a library catalog, when entries are added or modified the index needs to be updated within the space allowed or you need to rebuild everything, including all columns stored within the index if they're part of the specifically indexed columns or not. Using the large index as an example this would mean that every time a comment is added space for the comment, author and various IDs would have to be allocated, plus any time a comment is modified an existing entry would have to be modified, possibly forcing it out of the current order and causing extra over head in pulling the index together. At that point you could rebuild or reorganize the index to effectiveness by rebuilding the index, but the data would be either unavailable or available at a severely reduced rate for the duration.

As it sits, I'm going with the smaller index because it'll hold together for far longer and can be rebuilt in seconds rather than around five minutes and it's still considerably faster than the existing query. Providing a consistent speed is often as important as anything else with databases, and it would do far better in that regard.

In theory I have time to poke at some of the other core code for the site this weekend, we'll see how that works out. If it works out I may be digging up a temp domain to try out a new host and beat the new code around before all that much longer.

Indexes, Development 5 Comments [7/24/2014 3:55:16 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 103509

This is the simple one, the basic Quote Archive page. Not massively different than what we have, but a few added features.

The display will list Quote Details for a defined page length of Quotes available per the filters set ordered by the descending Date Posted.

Quote Details include:
Quote ID
Quote Text
Quote Author
Quote Board
Quote URL
Quote Comments Count
Quote Comments Link
Latest Comment Link
Quote Date Posted
Quote Rating Display
Quote Rating Inputs
Quote Tags Display
Read On From This Point Link

The Filters include:

As filters are set they refine the set of records displayed to only those that match the given filters. The Tag filter requires that the selected Tag is assigned to the displayed Quotes. The Year and Month filters require the Quote have been posted within the defined range of dates, either within the year selected, or within the month of the Year selected. The Page defines which set of the filtered quotes you are currently viewing.

When used as the main page and given no filters this page will display ALL quotes in descending order based on Date Posted.

Pretty simple stuff, but it does raise one question to me, do I keep the ages old index that sits at FSTDT.com, or do I drop it and have that point directly at the unfiltered quote listing? It should be easy enough to stick login/user management details into the site header and the rest is quite honestly a set of relics from ages ago that I never really thought too hard about keeping. It also has the slight problem of using a number of images I have absolutely no right to, which is one of the reasons I haven't taken the site a tad more commercial. Further, do I drop the Archives listing and just display the number of quotes available under potential filter selections? Tomorrow we get more interesting, Random Quotes.

Quote Archive, Development 2 Comments [9/15/2014 2:38:59 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 113579

(Edit: New Post on Volunteering read if you want in)

Alright folks, I'm looking for people to replace me and make sure the site keeps going now since I'm not hanging around for too much longer. Frankly there's a lot to do and I've neglected a fair bit of it for the sake of personal life and it hasn't done the site any good.

I figure a team of people would do a better job and make one person leaving a little less traumatic. If you want to help but aren't sure how, here's the kind of people involved in keeping the site:

* Who's paying the domain name and hosting charges. Hosting runs about ten bucks a month, registering the .com domain name is 10.29 a year and .net is 12.08 a year.
* I'll help you out with domain registration and have a few recommendations for hosting(including NOT arvixe)
* As a note, the site has never turned a profit and donations don't often make a dent in hosting costs, be prepared to pay the lot of that.

* This is what scares most people, working with the code and doing work to improve the site's speed and functionality.
* We've got a volunteer for this already, but if you're interested offer up, more eyes is better.

Quote Admin
* Take the time to curate quotes, this means you approve them, make corrections and generally keep up the quality of what's sent to the main page

Quote Volunteer
* Vote on which quotes will make it to the main page and help catalog things that need to be corrected.

Community Manager
* Spam hunting mostly, you skim comments for spam and excessive trolling
* Read and respond to Admin email, let developer or quote admin know about issues outside your scope.

Odds are you could take a few of these, but doing all of it is pretty pain in the ass.

I'm not going to ask too much from those who pick up the site after me, all I'm going to ask is whoever winds up with the rights to the domain name itself makes sure it moves on to someone else when they move on from the place.

What else I will do is work on finishing up the code for the new revision of the site(soon as I get the host for it straightened out). Either by myself or in concert with any new volunteers. I'll follow up with what needs to be done if folks are interested.

Public Annoucement, Search for a new Admin 96 Comments [10/11/2015 8:44:20 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 113535

Had intended on doing a public announcement on getting work done and switch over, only I've blown half my fucking day trying to ahold of someone at my alternate webhost to pay them and get this bill out of my face. Now my wife is telling me she's found things saying the company is more or less dead after acquisition and all of it's employees fired a week ago. Which would all explain quite clearly why in the balls I didn't get my "Hey pay us" email a week ago.

So yeah, don't host with arvixe right now. Probably never again, this is disgraceful.

See Distind tweet for the third time ever!

Warning, edit rant inbound.

ONE FUCKING MINUTE, I SPENT TWO FUCKING HOURS ON THE PHONE AND THE FUCKERS TAKE ONE FUCKING MINTUTE TO RESPOND... now the wait for someone to actually do something. Seriously, I edited this and they'd responded.

Further edit confusion:
Five minutes after the twitter complaint I've got a response to my ticket. I think I'm officially into twitter now. Here's to hoping it actually works. Also holy shit it's horrible this is what it takes to get service, I've hit literally every real access point they have, it takes bitching publicly on my clearly highly followed, rated and prized twitter account to actually get a response.

Balls balls balls, Take my money fuckers 3 Comments [10/9/2015 12:46:58 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 108741

Search is progressing, the query powering the new search page is remarkably fast, I now know we have over 11,000 comments using the word 'Moron' and I can return the lot in under a second. Except the syntax involved doesn't let me do one of my standard shortcuts to use fewer lines of SQL to do more work. I need to invest some time in ensuring I can dynamically create the query without leaving it open to security holes, which I plan to do over the course of this week.

For those who didn't notice in the comments of the last post I have the sample site up. Check it out, give me some thoughts, once I have search working as intended I'll be moving on to getting archive selections working somehow, which will be interesting.

In utterly unrelated news, the new Mad Max movie is a good movie. People calling it feminist are making a bit of a leap as it's not exactly new territory, but people jump the gun on this kind of thing all the time. It is however an excellent follow up to the road warrior and does a few things that actually make the third movie suck less. Max is Max, cars are cool, explosions are awesome, world is fucked.

The search for code, Development 0 Comments [5/18/2015 2:32:14 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 107858

Right, this is a thing, sorry it's been a really nice day and I've been enjoying the hell out of it.

Did a good bit of work yesterday, fixed one of the issues I'd been having and should be able to get to work on the comments page next time I have time free. After that I'm going to get the base of the search page together, if you've been following I mentioned I wasn't able to test the improved search functionality because of my local SQL server version, well, once I have it to a testable point I'm going to be setting up a FSTDT test site where people can take a look at what I'm doing while I actually test the improved search on a system that can do it.

If nothing goes wrong I want to have that up by the end of the month, it'll just be display and it won't be the live data, but it's better than the nothing I have out there now.

Now if only the neighbor's dog would shutup, Development 26 Comments [4/12/2015 2:51:50 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 106518

Right, so I'm alive and I've actually accomplished a few of my goals in the code, and then promptly didn't give enough of a shit to write up a proper rant. Basic routing works, I have tags displaying without duplicating quotes, and I need to start seriously looking at user based functionality(Quote submission is tied up in that since I do verification on member comments and quotes).

I'm saving a rant point for now, may wind up unloading it into the general direction of hashtag activism before too long. But, actual progress occurred, and I'm going to keep at it.

1 Point, Development 0 Comments [2/18/2015 3:32:21 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 106390

Going to pull a change of format in here. I'm going to start allowing myself to rant on here each time I finish some meaningful part of the code. I'll do a quick run down of what's been done, and then let myself take aim at something that annoys me. I'm somewhat open to requests but I think I have three to hit before I'll consider much else.

Used this idea to drive myself to do some of the basic overhaul I needed to do any more progress and I got it done in no time. Also have floundered my way through most of the godforsaken problems (I think) MVC can throw at me, which means I'm not going to be delivering on the public admin queue exactly as advertised, but will at least eventually work. I'd describe the problem but it boils down to me trying to do something MVC simply isn't intended for. Or at least doesn't cope with very well. I also tend to get side tracked with streams of obscenity when I think about it.

Anyway, first goal is getting the basic routing straight. Now that I have backend SQL that works correctly with the filters(don't ask) and the display already works reasonably well, it's a rather major component to get right. After that will be displaying the tags, then submission. If I get myself to buckle down I should be able to blow through the lot of them in relatively short order, but after those I have the joy of authentication and authorization to deal with before I move on to anything that cares about which user is involved. So find something else that annoys me so I have motive to make a fourth post, it can't be that hard my wife says I'm typically annoyed with something.

Also considering an alternate reward to myself of buying Darkest Dungeon, then possibly doing a stream of it as I fail to manage anything in it.

Format Change, Community 1 Comments [2/12/2015 5:16:29 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116708

Afchief's award since we didn't stop at one nomination,

1) Honors in the lack of in legal knowledge
2) Bloody Stupid Johnson
3) The Complete Monster Award
4) The achievement award for being so outrageously stupid in every aspect of his worldview

Afchief's award, Fundies 2016 Voting 20 Comments [2/8/2016 5:46:05 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116707

The Nightmare Fuel of the year Award

1) The Philosophers of Rape, with 'Is a harlot ever too young to rape?'
2) fucking tumblr, with 'Ana??..only you help me to be what I want to!!'

The Nightmare Fuel of the year Award, Fundies 2016 Voting 32 Comments [2/8/2016 5:43:28 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 116706

The Fundie Fight Award for most asinine individual achievement, only one can win because I'd rather they both lose.

1) NeoMatrix for Atheist Fundie of the Year
2) Jerry for Troll of the year

The Fundie Fight Award, Fundies 2016 Voting 26 Comments [2/8/2016 5:40:05 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 115168

Getting some things together for January. While this image doesn't seem mainpage worthy, it fits here fine. Have a very fundie holidays folks.

William Finck, Christogenea.org 1 Comments [12/10/2015 3:42:52 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Lucifer's Penis

Quote# 104520

Messing about with comment layout and such, just not a whole lot worth looking at yet. Back at it next weekend.

Since it is bugging me, general thought on patterns of clicking through a page. Centralized location for likely places to click, or spread out across the page?

Futzing about with the controls layout for clarifying the fact you can hide entire comments, and considering putting that near the permalink and edit link. All on left of the same line in the title bar. That or I'm going to put the hide/show button on the other side of the header and see where the edit link falls.

Still, Nigerian Illuminati?, Development 0 Comments [11/3/2014 9:42:07 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104336

Hey folks, another bad weekend for work on the site. Big pile of hobby material and a new CIV game have arrived, my wife will be lucky to see me. That said, I have something that just started folks might be interested in. Should be getting back on track next weekend, particularly as a great deal of vacation time to blow before the end of the year.

Paranoia Kickstarter! I posted the bundle of old material a while back and just caught wind of this kickstarter. I'm seriously considering backing it, but remembering the conversion from pounds to dollars is a tad painful. Still, 30 pounds for a box set of one of the more interesting games I've ever come across may well be worth it. If not 10 for a PDF copy of the rules will be. Given it's already funded I'm far from alone in that thought.

Paranoid all over again, Kickstarter here 11 Comments [10/24/2014 10:46:06 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104229

Tad short on time this weekend, also into the middle layer/presentation tier stuff which is boring as sin to talk about. The big thing is the voting mechanism and making it work without all the ugly it has now, making an actual AJAX call out of it. Which is to say, you hit the button and it sends a call back to the server to figure out what to do without involving the rest of the page. The upshot to doing it this way is that I don't need to worry about security holes from four different implementations of the code, down side is I need to make sure the html around the button is consistent or otherwise easily dealt with.

Having most of the basic pages sketched out is a good starting point, I figure I need to get my tools collected and start choking on the 50 bucks a month for a newer version of visual studio. Which I am somewhat hesitant to do, but if I don't there's not a huge point to the re-write.

Anyway, the last post had some people mentioning issues with the mobile site. I can take into account mobile devices in the new layout, but I'd need to know the exact problems and I don't actually have a smart phone. So consider this the mobile complaints department and I should be able to setup the mobile layout to accommodate them all.

AJAX, Development 4 Comments [10/19/2014 6:46:08 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104098

I've been pounding away at formatting and I think I have something reasonable, and something else that might be better if I can get the fine tuning done. As such I have two mock ups for you guys:

The first is very much like what we have now, with a bit nicer styling

The second has some re-arranging done in an attempt to waste less vertical screen space per quote

I'm still not happy with where I have the Quote ID on this second one one, but both could use some nicer looking filters(long term goal) and would have tags inserted directly under the 'submitted by' portion of the quote. The one thing I want to work on is the fundie index, it's nice but wastes a fair bit of space for such a short line. So I've been looking at replacing the WTF and meh with some other smaller indicators and merging it into the comment count line. Not sure about the results. As always thoughts are welcome.

On a complete side note, if there are any Freddy fans out there looking for a blue ray release, best buy has the full collection at 20 bucks off, down to 30 bucks for seven movies(it doesn't have Freddy vs Jason). Freddy, the discount horror villain. Been enjoying that.

Much better, Development 7 Comments [10/12/2014 12:09:03 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 106282

Fundie of the Year voting is over folks, doing the counting today.

Voting is over, FOTY 0 Comments [2/8/2015 2:02:16 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104936

Rather busy at the moment, but I've been taking the chance with the new version of .NET to familiarize myself with MVC more. I'm still not horribly fond of some of it, but.. it's so stupidly easy I may well work with it. Assuming you haven't done anything wrong, which is where planning comes in to make sure you're not doing things wrong.

What I intend on doing is taking what I've generated for the mockups and my test database, getting a working MVC version of at least a few of the pages and then see about doing some serious testing on them. No time line yet, but I don't think it would take particularly long. I already have the layouts, I just need to get to work on the display logic. From there I can actually screw with it and see how it scales.

Still dinking around, Development 0 Comments [11/24/2014 6:41:29 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104784

Well, good news for myself and any other hobby programmers, Visual Studio has released a community edition of it's current tools! What does that mean? I means no more fucking express versions which involve four installs to have full functionality. It goes along with their opening of .NET's source and their preview of the next version of Visual studio they're working on.

What that means, I don't have to pay $50 a month to do competent dev work on the site. I'm still hung up for the rest of this month and it takes about four hours to install, but it means I will be reasonably happy with the tools I'm using. If anyone else out there want to tool around with it now's a great time to start. Let's hear it for dragging your feet folks, wait long enough and what you want may just happen.

Or you spend your live yearning for something that never happens. But this time it worked.

.NET Community, Development 0 Comments [11/16/2014 6:35:24 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 104692

And I forgot to post this yesterday, the comment page mock up!

Or for fucks sakes my FTP isn't cooperating, wait there it goes.

There are a few important things to note here beyond round corners. The title is the same as the top page, which is intentional, this is intended to be another level of consistency within the page. The title and all of the selected filters would appear on this page, and they modify any of the relevant fields in links going outward from this page.

Further the 'write comment' link rather than the post box that has been here forever. Simply put, it's a anti-double post measure. When you hit the write comment link it will either create a javascript pop box to enter your comment in, or if javascript is disabled it'll route you to a page to submit your comment which will process on that page and then separately re-route you to the quote comments page. A bit complex for what it does, but I think we're all sick of double posts by now. It'll also mean that all my comment logic is in one place so I can very easily make modifications.

I'm happy with the comment header bar being a one stop shop for important links and think the hide link is more intuitive than just clicking on the header like it works now. There are a few other things that have come up over time that I'm still looking at, but right now I'm focused on the core functionality.

I'm also running low on excuses not to start coding, but I have one that carries me through the end of the month.

Comments Mock Up, Development 5 Comments [11/10/2014 3:47:14 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 105399

The things I've been studying are finally sticking since I have something to apply them to. I have a significant amount of reading to keep pounding through, but I believe I have a solid basis to do some real work on tomorrow. I'll see what I actually get done. For now I have a pair of questions for the readers:

Anyone have any personal preferences between Ninject and Unity for DI containers, or am I listening to these people entirely to much in using dependency injection in a project that will never actually need it so long as I'm in control of it?

Also, the header with all the filters in it. Did anyone actually like that? It's wearing on me and the details of it's implementation aren't working out. Not fond of the space it takes up and all of the information would be immediately visible and clear in the URL. Working on figuring a replacement, but for right now I'm just focusing on generating the quote listings and shooting them out to the page.

Dependency Injection will always sound painful to me, Development 2 Comments [12/18/2014 7:14:06 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 105181

Alright, now that the server is unfucked I can post something.

I've gotten some work in on the site, exploring the mechanics of an entirely new architecture is interesting, but not particularly quick. At the moment it's clear to me without a serious goal I'm just not getting much done, so I'm aiming for a first pass of absolutely basic quote retrieval, hopefully by the end of the month. In good news, I have a work project that's using the same tech so I'm learning it faster than I otherwise would. From what I'm seeing once I have things together(properly) taking those things and reorganizing them as needed should be pretty simple. Assuming I get the basic quote retrieval done, I should be able to take all the same elements, feed them into a few different templates and the biggest development effort will be in properly organizing the data for the elements. Should. I've been wrong before.

Also, thanks to the server dropping out on me a fair chunk of today's queue was skipped over, so I'll be approving all of those tomorrow.

Moving along, Development 5 Comments [12/8/2014 3:55:19 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 117325

Hey folks, Voting results are up on the subreddit go ahead and check them out.

Working on a few thoughts on improving the process since there's been some question on if the best quotes got in, but per rating and then voting these are our winners for this year.

Votes are up, Fundies 2016 Voting 3 Comments [3/6/2016 1:03:20 PM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind

Little Bobby Tables Award

Can you win it??

Quote# 123791

If you are having trouble posting or seeing comments, send an email to admin@fstdt.org with your username, the browser you are using, and if possible, the IP address and ISP you're using when comments don't work. Also include any browser extensions you are using. If you prefer IM, I can be reached on Skype (search spikedee@openmbx.org) or AIM (screenname 'a nerd of sorts'). I will always fix the troll bouncer so you can comment and/or see comments again. Someone's priorities are way mixed up if keeping trolls out is more important to them than letting people use their site.

Also email or post any other errors and issues you encounter in the Site / Off-Topic Thread'!

I'm so sorry for all the downtime and any other problems!! I feel really bad for not giving you any tangible new features for the wait. I made a large number of fairly significant changes to the database, a few of them particularly major changes, like completely redoing the pubadmin table in anticipation for the FSTDT rewrite and also because of how extravagantly disorganized the pubadmin data was stored. (I discuss the details of that later in this post.)

Many changes also had to be made to the behind-the-scenes FSTDT code to accommodate for the database changes, and in one case something had to be all but completely rewritten. (When that happens, I just go ahead and get a head start on the rewrite's transition from C# back to VB — the current C# version is itself a transition from an earlier VB version — it's like some kind of bizarre cycle. I write the new code in VB, since then it will be usable in the actual big rewrite itself. A number of other changes unrelated to those necessary to accommodate the database changes were made, but none of them are major.

But the biggest change to the FSTDT server-side code, though, is that the new troll-detection and auto-cleanup system Piège-à-Pèpe (PàP) I've been talking about is finally in place and has a real name!! Much of PàP is still turned off on the server side for that reason, but everything on the client side is operational. It still does more than enough to be useful and justify going live with it.

Known issues


I scrapped the original Banned IPs table and replaced it with one that supports wildcards and does away with the surrogate key. This is not an "issue," but I sure as hell accidentally made one while I was working on this. I intended to export the original banned IP list and import it into the new table. Unfortunately, however, my executing a query with a single misplaced colon deleted the entire list of IPs. Since the old table had not been cleaned out in literally 8 years, I doubt this will be a major issue. Like half or even more of those lost IPs were probably Mabus in the first place. Yes, he really was that fucking crazy.

Losing the banned IP list means there's a small chance we'll see a slight increase in the number of trolls over the next few days. When and if they show their ugly troll faces, their IPs will be re-collected again and added back to the database. Piège-à-Pèpe will also help deal with some of it, so any issues with this should be fully resolved over the next few days. Still, if you see 'em, report 'em in the Site / Off-Topic Discussion Thread.

Proxy Penalization

This is not an issue so much as something worth noting. PàP heavily penalizes known Tor nodes and IPs from a certain major Turkish telecommunications company. If this is a problem for you because you accidentally trigger other penalization from PàP such that it incorrectly considers you a troll, then use another browser and/or a different proxy to access FSTDT. If you're completely stuck, contact me. (See info above.)

Though not done by PàP, a certain other hotbed of seediness that calls itself a web host and proxy server provider has been completely banned. If you're posting from an IP there, you're probably The Frog or someone else up to no good anyway.

The Croaking Cloaking Croat

PàP could quite possibly have trouble recognizing the Croat because the information and behavior PàP uses is all over the place for him. I don't know if it's deliberate or the result of him using a fuckton of different devices. He also avoids obvious Tor nodes, (likely because they were already banned here), but I know a Tor exit note emitted his verbal diarrhea at least once — and possibly twice or more if an anonymous commenter was him as I suspect.


"Summary" of database changes (and relevant FSTDT code changes)


I removed a ton of dead weight from the database (empty tables and a surprisingly large number of columns created for abandoned features). Doing this also required removing references to said dead weight from the FSTDT code itself; despite never actually using it, quite a bit of code (especially related to user accounts) queried the database for it. Trying to do that now that it's no longer there in the database would throw a Kerblewy error.

New Banned-IPs table

As I mentioned earlier, the old Banned-IPs table has been replaced with a new one that supports wildcards and does away with the needless surrogate key, instead using the IP addresses themselves as the primary key.

New banned-strings list

The banned-strings list was also scrapped and replaced with something supporting wildcards. Since you're most likely not aware of the banned-strings table, what it does is that if you try to post a comment with a string in the table, the comment is simply ignored and not posted, and the quote page the comment was posted from acts like nothing happened. (It does not ban or monitor people who try to post comments with the banned strings; it just discards comments that contain them.) Nearly all of the banned strings are for automatically discarding obvious spam that resembles nothing a real user would ever actually post. Believe it or not, this pathetically simplistic technique actually catches almost all of the spam that somehow makes it past the "Check here" button.

Note that the names of both Le Frog Français and the Literal Motherfucker are in the banned strings list now, since saying them is like speaking Lord Voldemort's name. A few of other tics and words related to them are also banned. These are mostly Frogface's.

Stored procedures

In addition to the stored procedures I wrote working on the pubadmin table, I also wrote stored procedures to handle all of the other specific database-related tasks that the FSTDT code has to do, such as getting the comments for a quote and paginating them, logging in, submitting a quote, etc. (Aside from the occasionally mentioned exception, none of it is actually used in the FSTDT code right now, and the current codebase won't be updated to do so. This move was in preparation for the new upcoming rewrite I keep talking about. It will interact with the database exclusively using stored procedure insofar as possible. Unless you have good reason not to, I am ridiculously passionate about storing procedures in databases rather than using inline queries that reference the structure of the database, but getting into that will launch me way beyond the point.

Pubadmin database overhaul

I redesigned the entire pubadmin database table. Note that I didn't say I restructured the table, as that would imply I just shuffled things around a bit, maybe tided up a few loose ends, or made a lot of changes but very minor ones, etc. — no, I redesigned the pubadmin table. Doing this is where the protracted downtime came from and why the site had to be brought down.

I completely rethought not only how to store pubadmin data but also how to approach the task of handling the pubadmin system itself, both in database design and the site's code.

This post and "summary" is already long enough, so I won't go into detail, but I will say that this was probably the most needed and overdue change I made: the old pubadmin table was there and indeed stored pubadmin data, but pubadmin data was also strewn across three other unrelated tables besides the correct one. That data had to be moved in the process of redoing the pubadmin table and the columns that contained it deleted.

For those who don't know about how awful making structural changes to a large database is, this task necessitated creating a temporary table, copying the to-be-changed table's data into the temporary table, dropping (deleting) the to-be-changed table, creating a new table like it with the desired changes, copying the data from the temporary table to the new table, and finally dropping the temporary table. This obviously isn't technically changing the table but making a whole new one.

When your database is stored on a shared database server with 100 or so other databases, and the table you want to 'change' has over 100,000 rows and 15-20 columns, and its indexes have not be defragmented in a while, you're gonna be waiting a couple hours, and that's with the whole process being the only transactions taking place on the database and with you the only user accessing it. Having other users accessing the database would cause the transactions to be even slower to the point of timing out because they took too long.

And that is why we had to go down for maintenance and why we were down for so long.


Rewriting the pubadmin code-behind file

Since I completely redid the pubadmin table, I had to gut almost all of the FSTDT pubadmin code-behind file because it was coded to read and write data using the old table. I bet every query in the gutted code would have failed when attempted on the new pubadmin table. (Not having that happen is one of the major advantages of using stored procedures that tell the database what you want rather than telling it how to do it.)

The overwhelming majority of the gutted code was just that: literally gutted, i.e. removed from the codebase altogether. The remainder was kept in the code, but it was still gutted in the sense that it was commented out so it wouldn't be used. The parts I commented out and kept were ones that can be easily translated to VB and used in the FSTDT rewrite. By saving that code, I'll have a concrete launchpad from which to begin the process of writing the rewrite's pubadmin code.

So quotes could be approved, the code-behind file for the PublicAdmin.aspx file had to be almost completely rewritten aside from the repeater controls that show similar quotes to check for dupes. They still worked because they were using stored procedures when I had my first glance at the database back in September of last year. The rest of the rewritten code also uses stored procedures and saved views, unlike the original code, which used a combination of inline SQL and a separate data access class that also used inline SQL itself.

PublicAdmin.aspx also had to be updated to remove controls that interacted with the not-reimplemented functionality, like issues and public admin being able to actually be used by the public again. (These issues will be fixed in the FSTDT rewrite at the latest.) Mods will probably immediately notice these changes on the page.

Mods, everything in the above paragraphs probably needs to be combed through for bugs because it was literally written in half a day. Report any issues you find, SVP.

Anyway, bear with me while I get any kinks worked out, and please let me know if you notice any. Post them in the Site / Off-Topic Thread, or if you think they can be exploited or pose a potential security issue, send a message to the email above instead or shoot me an IM.

Again, sorry for all the down time! I'll try not to do anything like this again.

back up and running!, so sorry it took this long!! 34 Comments [1/21/2017 1:27:40 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: shy

Quote# 114400

Alright, today's goals are reasonably simple, get Public admin working, then look at quote rating voting. I think what I'm going to do is get a basic mechanic working now, and pile on ajax versions later. If I have spare time today I'm going to work on User Management and do some cleaning on the existing code. Assuming I finish this today the rest is improvements and admin functionality. Which is the easy shit since it all ties back into display mechanics I already have and 90% of the work is SQL that I can rattle off quickly.

That said, it does look like I'll have some work to do after the week is said and done. But this stuff looks manageable in shorter periods of time rather than being the kind of things I actually need a day for.

Humpday, Development 1 Comments [11/11/2015 4:47:36 AM]
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Submitted By: Distind

Quote# 114374

Having re-redisposed of routing, I've also tackled the quote admin page which leaves me looking at the comment admin page and then the submission pages for quotes and comments. Which will be interesting.

References, Development 4 Comments [11/10/2015 7:13:49 AM]
Fundie Index: 0
Submitted By: Distind