Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.
167 comments
Well, if I remember correctly there have actually been a few recorded. cases of gorillas showing signs of sexual arousal towards a woman, nothing else. However, remember. Fundamentalists believe dinosaur bones were put their to challenge their faith. I wouldn't run it past them to believe something like this.
"Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan
Wrong. Plus there is no satan.
to mock Jesus
Wrong. How do naturally occurring animals mock your religion? That makes absolutely no sense.
by giving EVILolition credibility.
Wrong, but based on a fualty premise that is to be expected. Also wrong: there is no such thing as EVILolution.
Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women.
WRONG! Where the fuck do you get this shit?
Since they are not natural creatures
Wrong, they indeed ARE natural creatures. They appeared in nature, which automatically makes them NATURal.
they should be exterminated forthwith
GAH! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Why the hell do you want to exterminate any animal, much less one that you mostly are related to and look like? Do you feel threatened that a monkey in the forest learned how to use simple tools and rudimentary communication?
as the tools of evil they are.
Wrong. Apes are animals. They are in the animal kingdom. Even if evil’ existed, the great apes are no more evil than any other mildly intelligent animal, bird or fish. There seems to be something severely wrong with you.
"
BJ Tabor,
Just guessing here, but I’ll bet that’s wrong as well.
This is just too easy...
"Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility."
Nice emphasis there. Too bad it adds nothing to the argument - besides a lot of fail. So...you acknowledge the basic mechanisms of "EVILution" but attribute the causes to some being nobody can prove exists. And then you imply that people who find credible evidence for evolution as a natural process are instead comparable to said fictional entity. Huh? What?
"Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women."
What? Eh? You've lost me here...what evidence do you cite? I want to see the facts, not your suppositions.
"Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are."
Because you say so, I am sure. And we should care, why? I'm reminded of a saying my Wiccan friends use: "All that is found in Nature is natural." Yes, even those things humans fuck up colossally are still natural. And "tools of evil"? Where did you get that from?
Leave the poor apes alone and pick on someone your own size...
No, wait. Please pick on an ape - and don't be a pussy and bring weapons. A Good Christian(TM) like you should be able to "exterminate forthwith" these "tools of evil" by your mere presence and strong faith. Now that's faith in action.
I refuse to believe that this is not a troll. Although it is about the level of stupidity that I would associate with anyone supporting Brownback. Even my right-wing republican friends from Kansas consider him a brainless twerp, his seat and him bought and paid for by bigtime agri-business corporation money.
We have the apes and the fossils. We win.
Regarding lust crazed apes: This really happens. Women rehabilitating captured orangutans in Indonesia are told to carry clubs with them when they menstruate to
subdue the male orangutans who try to rape them.
Did you see the link on that site for the "Heliocentrism is an Atheist Doctrine" apparel? I have got to get one of those T-shirts! If this site is for real, these people are insane, especially Sisyphus. I suspect he may actually be a brilliant troller trying to undermine Brownback's campaign.
Good show. The babble doesn't mention the apes, so BJ is confused...BJ is frightened...the babblical solution is to KILL EM ALL!!!1!
Coming soon: Eradication of your own shadow. It's EVUL, y'know.
That's right.
Apes are EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!!!!!
And Negroes look just like apes, don't they, BJ Tabor? What's more, they have big penises and lust after white women!
Asshole.
Yes, we all know it's so Satanic when a gorilla asks for a kitten to take care of, or a chimp paints a picture. It's so obvious their minds are evil and twisted.
I actually have heard cases of apes attracted to humans. Certainly not any more than their own kind, I'm sure. I wouldn't be surprised if in most cases, they had no access to another member of their own species. But heck, it's less strange to me than a dog humping your leg.
Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are.
1. Nuke popcorn
2. Introduce BJ Tabor to the Librarian of the Unseen University
3. ???
4. Profit!
Psycheout:
We're sad how?
Granted, this is a Poe (you should look up Poe's Law on Wikipedia, it'll do you some good), and should be removed, but most of the previous quotes have been decent.
Well, until the last month or so.
Oh, no, no... Stop trying to correct this guy. Let's give him a bowie knife and find him a nice big silverback to exterminate in the name of Jesus! (At least, I believe that at some point, he'll be screaming "Jesus" a whooole lot.)
*reading comments*
Half the time, I must admit to not following the links - because half of the other half of the time, they're dead links. So...
Blogs4Brownback is a parody site? In that case, why even check it at all?
Hmm, difficult this one ...
Not least because Brownback himself is enough of a moron to believe regurgitated garbage of this ilk for real. Wasn't that long ago that we had Georgia state legislature GOP figures trying to remove evolution from the classroom on the basis that it was religious ... claiming the Fixed Earth website as a legitimate source of information on the subject .
If it was one of the special ops squad members from one of the reason/rationalism boards posting this to point out the utter insanity of fundiform delusions, it was a good job, not least because there are idiots in circulation who would think like this for real.
In fact, I'd like to think it WAS a special ops job, because if someone posted this and meant every word , then said individual requires hospitalisation FAST.
I seriously hope this guy was joking, because if he wasn't, I might need to flee to a saner country in europe somewhere to get awayw from these insane fundies...
on the other hand, EVILution is pretty catchy.
Apes is a branch of a family that includes chimpanzees, gorillae, orangutangs and many others. Be a troll, please.
Apes include all tailless primates: orangutans, gorillas, bonobos, chimpanzees, and humans. For those still in the unbeleiving camp, chimpanzees are more closely related to humans than they are to gorillas, so when I trace my family tree, I'll end up here, with these guys as my cousins (explains a lot!) If BlowJob wants to exterminate all apes, I wonder if he means the human family, and himself.
Ah yeah.. fundies really do hate animals.
Babboons for example; female babboons may trade sexual favours for food. Which lead to Victorian colonial rulers in Africa to once start a campaign to 'exterminate these immoral animals'.
Apalling. And so much for that christian bullshit about 'stewardship of Gods Creation(TM) (Now with less EVIL-ution!)'
"evilolition"
hahahahahahahahahahaah
I highly recommend going on this site. I act as a parody under the name Bob_Corker. NOBODY has suspected it, not even fellow atheist ultra-liberals such as myself. Sisyphus is easily a parody, but everyone else is likely real (psycheout is likely a republican that doesn't actually believe that the earth is fixed/flat).
Nonetheless, furthermore, likewise, as is, in other words, forthwith, monkey spanking, gizz sickles, apes told me the other day that they just spoke with Jesus, and Jesus was pissed. I mean Jesus must have gotten sodomized by a banana.
I go to Blogs 4 Brownback quite often. I used to think they were joking, but they've been posting this kind of drivel for almost a year now. Just because someone's insane doesn't mean they're not deadly serious. Look at the Taliban- they always meant exactly what they said, and nobody believed them until they actually started doing it once they got into power. The American Taliban isn't a whole lot different. Frightening, but true. We can laugh at them now, but if these crazies ever get unrestricted power, I'm moving to New Zealand ASAP.
EVILolition??? Is that supposed to be wordplay? And if so, what is evolition?
Me thinks you need a dictionary... FORTHWITH.
BJ Tabor is a parody. Here's another quote from him:
"We should give tax breaks to the rich and tax the heck out of the poor. It's a lifestyle choice, and must be discouraged."
Poe or not, I can't look at this paragraph without squirming at "EVILolution", possibly the most hideously-constructed word i've ever seen.
Plus, i'll never be able to watch 'Project X' again without wondering why Matthew Broderick is giving flying lessons to a sex offender.
Are you suggesting we destroy a species on this planet earth because it proves evolution.
And to be fair... So are we... We too are naturally lust crazed for human women... However if we are lust crazed for monkey women then we may have a problem...
Do you have any proof they are not natural or are we just going monkey killing for the lolz? Despite them being an integral part of nature?
Okay seriously man, WTF!? I have a master's in primatology and I've never seen an ape go after a woman. I know it happens every now and then, but if you're going to say that, you may as well say dogs are naturally lust crazed for human women too.
uhm, so...do you HONESTLY think that all apes are devil-made and should be all killed? Cus, I think that's a little bit crazy and irrational. I hope to god (no pun intended seeing as I'm one of those evil athiests) that you become a tad bit narrow-minded and logical. But that's just the opinion of someone who thinks apes are just apes...innocent, devil-free animals.
P.S. You're a dumb fuck :)
Yes, we really need to look out for those lust-crazed monkeys... Stealing our womenfolk... Those zoo's are really dangerous.
Oh no, there's a monkey outside! lock up your daughters, before it becomes crazed with lust!
...I usually have a comeback for the shit they spew, but that's just...yikes.
At least now I have some more incentive to sponsor a gorilla via WWF (World Wildlife Fund, not the wrestling federation), aside from them being my favorite animal.
the evil Nazi during WWII tried to breed Hamanzees by mating chimps with human women.
You can see video clips of these attempts on many video clip sites. Warning , most of these sites seem to be obsessed with SEX.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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