Drinking unsupervised milk causes agnosticism. The milk may in fact be 100% from a kosher animal, but if no Jewish person was present to watch the milking, it has the effect of casting doubts in our core beliefs.
115 comments
"Drinking unsupervised milk causes agnosticism."
"The milk may in fact be 100% from a kosher animal, but if no Jewish person was present to watch the milking, it has the effect of casting doubts in our core beliefs."
Not a poe. Check out the website. Pretty bizarre eh, milk causes agnosticism. I was reading a few entries on an MSNBC message board, and I found a post that claimed that homosexuality could be cleared up by antibiotics.
Fundamentalists were even mentioned in Utopia (by Thomas More) It's a universal trait I guess. In this day and age, the government of India does not dare to publicly acknowledge that the Ram Setu (a rock formation between India and Sri Lanka) was not in fact built by Lord Ram and his army of monkeys, or they will face a public backlash :
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6994415.stm
(On the other hand, if these religious nuts prevent this area of the world from getting ruined by industrialization and pollution, maybe it's a good thing).
@Detrs: "Well, that explains a lot. I drank soy milk a lot growing up, now I'm gay and atheist."
My sister needed soy milk, so cakes and things like that had soy milk in them. I had dairy milk for things that were just for me. I'm bi :). My sister's a hetero-romantic asexual, though.
We're both atheists. The atheism-inducing effects of soy milk must be more powerful than its homosexuality-inducing effects. :)
WTF...
To the WTFth power.
I knew about this before now. The Great Faith Lapse of 1931 caused hysteria among Jewish holy men across the globe. The outbreak was finally traced to a dairy in Lewisham where it was discovered that the milk was being observed by a rabbi with poor eyesight, offering it only a fraction of the standard immunisation against sceptisism that a rabbi with 20/20 eyesight could offer.
I knew about this before now. The Great Faith Lapse of 1931 caused hysteria among Jewish holy men across the globe. The outbreak was finally traced to a dairy in Lewisham where it was discovered that the milk was being observed by a rabbi with poor eyesight, offering it only a fraction of the standard immunisation against sceptisism that a rabbi with 20/20 eyesight could offer.
To the extent that kosher certification generally implies a higher standard of quality control, I don't really mind the concept of kashrut. But it's important to remember that it is a religious artifact, and people can get their knickers in a twist about it.
Christian fundamentalists, Islamic fundmentalists, and now a Jewish fundamentalist?
There's a new Dark Age on the way.
> P.S.- What is "supervised" milk? A milk whose parents keep a close eye on it?
Supervised milk is milk which was obtained under the supervision of a Rabbi who blessed the process and ensured that it was done in a kosher way. The worst part about this quote is that it is not completely out of left field - that is seriously the "normal" Orthodox Jewish food rules being discussed.
It's not a poe. It's not even weird. Or rather, it's no weirder than orthodox Judaism is normally.
I always knew that fundamentalists, no matter the theology, are control-freaks. But this is the first I've ever heard of anyone supervising milk. Leads me to wonder, does milk goof off and spend all its time during the workday surfing for Internet porn if there's no one to boss it around? Or whut?
This reminds me of a German Imam who claimed that eating pig meat causes homosexuality, and seriously, you don't want to say things like that in Germany since there people eat lots of pork and don't like so much gays
I gather certain branches of Islam have similar notions - for meat to be halal, among other requirements (one of which is a method of killing the animal by slitting its throat that, while initially conceived as the least traumatic or cruel approach, has been clung to dogmatically despite being superseded by more humane methods than were available at the time the religious law was laid down), it has to have been killed "in the name of god". I've often wondered, in today's industrialised world, whether you could get away with having some tape recording playing on endless loop in the slaughterhouse, or whether some poor bugger has to stand there and vocally declare the act in the name of Allah for every damn animal that comes through the door!
Maybe drinking 'unsupervised' milk causes agnosticism, because after drinking it and realizing it's no different from 'supervised' milk, people start to wonder what else their religious leaders are bullshitting about.
You would say this is definitely a poe? Do you think the entire site ("AskMoses.com is a vibrant, innovative online resource offering instant advice from the qualified men, women and Rabbis on our team of expert scholars") is a poe? There's not enough obvious satire, from what I can see.
After a brief search, it seems that there IS such a thing as "supervised milking":
http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5760/vayikra.html
Supposedly such supervision (either watching the actual milking or standing guard outside the milking area to make sure that no other milk is brought in from the outside) prevents the occurrence in which "a non-Jew might mix a small, undetectable amount of non-kosher milk into the cow's milk rendering it non-kosher for the unsuspecting kosher consumer."
The target site does not seem to be satire.
"If you drink unsupervised milk, you'll only grow up good enough to be an agnostic!"
[/obligatory Accrington Stanley milk advert reference]
... that's a new one.
Hey, a Jewish fundy! Never seen one of those before- I think they're even rarer than the atheist fundies.
@ Septic Skeptic: Truly, my friend, you make the comments worth reading.
Y'know, I just...don't see this as malevolent the way the dominionist fundies are. Sure, the purity rules of any religion or denomination of which I'm not a member will seem odd to me; but as long as they're not trying to force their religion onto me (see: standard American "everyone must obey us or die " Christian fundies), I just can't care so much.
In this case, I'm actually a bit sympathetic given the lengths people have gone to in the past to screw up Orthodox Jewish practices -- a bit of paranoia is probably warranted.
@ Professor M: few will begrudge them their dietary laws, and this is certainly not malevolent, but the fact that this guy is claiming that milk causes agnosticism is just so ridiculous that it warrants a place here, as many other Jewish posters have said.
Wow....blindsided by pure stupidity at its finest before it could even register this likely a Poe
"Drinking unsupervised milk causes agnosticism."
There was me, that is Anon-e-moose, and my droogs, that is everyone in FSTDT, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar - unviddied - trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would snarken you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-agnosticism .
[/"A Clockwork Orange"] X3
And curse the Jewish Adam "Man Vs. Food" Richman for eating all that Prostitutional Pork, and Slutty Shellfish, eh Rabbi(t)?! Are you therefore suggesting that - if the likes of you are there chaperoning such comestibles - when Adam ate it, it would immediately become Kosher ?! [/hyper-sarcasm]
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
