Last night, two individuals came to the church needing deliverance, both received some liberation. In fact, the one lady, named Tina (whom many of you know), was freed from over two thousand demonic spirits named "Jezebeth." They had entered as a result of some ancient Satanic oaths that were uttered in the past. They were within an dissociative identity named "Nataley" who is only 19 years old. But the great power of God overcame the enemy--as it only took an hour to expel 2002 spirits from the identity as the broken part turned to Jesus and renounced the spiritual rights.
God is so merciful!
45 comments
Too much Bob Larsen, I see. Wow, 2000 spirits, all named Jezebeth. Satan has really got to pay his writers more. Or get better ones. What ever happened to Mephistopheles, or Leviathan, or Beelzebub? Those were the good ones. If exorcisms weren't so fucking dangerous, this would be laughable.
this is exactly the kind of attitude they had hundreds of years ago towards mentally ill people, and it is not healthy. this kind of ignorance and prejudice in this day and age is infuriating.
i can't believe he thinks multiple personality (somehow no longer a disorder) is caused by demons.
Tina and Nataley ?! Did I get this right? A girl named Tina entered your church. Then you did exorcism, not on her but on her second personality Nataley (which is in the same body!) and Nataley threw up 2000 to 2002 demons(you couldn't count all the chunky and crunchy parts) named Jezebel. Whatever drugs you are taking, either double the dose or stop taking them!
And I am sure you had a counter handy.
Would 2003 demons taken more than an hour? How about 2050? Hour and a half, maybe?
Does having the same name for 2000 demons help the exorcism? If so, you'd think each demon would grab a unique name from Google. After all, these demons would have had centuries to pick out a name for themselves.
Could we also say, with great certainty, that you're either a baldfaced liar or on drugs? Or both?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Is this christism or scientology?....sounds like you "cleared" her of body "thetans" to me.
WTF...possessed by 2000 demon spirits wut?
You are either certifiably insane or a con artist, or possibly both.
Right, Jay, you released two thousand demons. Did you have some kind of machine set up to accurately count them? or are you just compulsively lying as usual? "I exorcised two thousand demons! I invented penicillin! I'm god's favourite! I've got a car made out of cheese that I fly to Saturn at the weekends!"
Clockworkbunny
"Hey, it only took an hour! One-hour exorcisms, while you wait. "
Collect your photo for $50 on the way out
Tina Turner! Wow! I always thought she was cool!
Listen, idiot. You are playing with people's psychologies when you laud yourself as an exorcist. Even those you hate, the Catholics, are loth to perform exorcisms except under the strictest rules and after the most rigourous invenstigation of the case.
Writing this stuff on a web site is s sure sign that you are blowing your own trumpet and expect people to bow down before you and honour you. But basically, I hold that exorcism is a fraud... What would that make you? Figure it our for yourself. You need to be controlled by law.
2000, all called Jezabeth? How confusing for them.
"Hey, Jezabeth!"
"Yes?"
"No, not you, I mean Jezabeth over there!"
"Over here?"
"No, over there! Oh, forget it!"
JAY! What does the scouter say about her DEMON LEVEL?
IT'S OVER TWO THOUSAAAAAAAND!
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Shit, do you charge by the "spirit" or something? Just wondering.
Also, if I were fertile, I'd consider "Jezebeth" as a name for a daughter.
Gee, thanks Jay. Now there are 2002 more demonic spirits roaming around looking for a home. Has it never occurred to you that the spirits just move on to someone else?
Or maybe that's part of your plan. You're like the exterminator who only sprays for roaches in one apartment. Then, when they show up elsewhere in the building, he gets to collect another fee for exterminating them.
I am definitely in the wrong business. I wonder if Jay offers franchises.
If it takes several thousand demons to force someone to go to church I reckon I can handle one or two on my own.
Hang on, "some liberation"? You only did a half-arsed job? Those women should ask for a refund.
I heard if you know a demons "True name" you can defeat them, since they all had the same name no wonder it took only an hour. XD
I guess that means if they all had different names they'd still be in there right now. XD
This person is known to be mentally ill if she has a dissociative personality. If she thought that she were possessed by over two thousand demons who had a name that sounded suspiciously like a misremembered version of the name of a Biblical villainess, wouldn't it seem more likely that she was having issues with her disorder?
2002 demons, all with the same name ?
Face it, you exorcised a Xerox machine, didn't you ?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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