(a response to somebody who claims to have been attacked by a demon named Resident Evil. Just as a reminder, this guy's writing is available from Christian bookstores - no Poe here)
It's very interesting you brought this up as tonight we encountered a evil spirit that was holding unto someone as a result of these kinds of games.
Just tonight Elizabeth and I dealt with 182 Zelda spirits (Zelda is a video game) within a young lady. In fact, he was holding unto the games she had played--Resident Evil, Warcraft I, II, III, Witchdrobe, D & D, and others.
These video games opens children (she started playing when she was 5 years old) to the demonic realm. It sickens me...
These were very violent demons and vicious but all 182 were driven out in the name of Jesus TONIGHT!!!
(later in the thread someone else talks about their experience with a Resident Evil demon)
129 comments
I play Zelda all the time, and I'm running a D&D campaign.
And strangely enough, I'm a Christian.
We've all been possessed by the 8 bit Zelda theme song earworm, but I wouldn't really call that a demon.
182 demons, eh? Does one count that many on their way out? I'm thinking Count Von Count here: One! One Zelda demon! Two! Two Zelda demons! Ha ha! Three! Three Zelda demons!
Witchdrobe? Never heard of that game and I've played games for a couple of decades now. And which particular D&D game? There's been dozens and dozens of D&D licensed games over the years.
And why oh why is DooM underrepresented again? Now *that* would have been a sign of some quality fundie bile. Ranting about Zelda spirits just draws in Obvious Conclusions that the guy is actually a Poe. A Big Poe. Mr. Barlett, please improve your fundierambling skills! For our amusement!
182 demons? That's a fair amount of demons! I mean, I've heard of more - I think 12,000 demons was the most I've heard of at once - but 182 demons is nothing to sneeze at. Did you feel a sensation of lightness after those demons were cast out?
If there is such a thing as a demon of dip-shittery, then Jay Bartlett has a legion of them.
I thought these types faded out with the 80's?
Casting out Zelda demons? Really?
"I command you Ganondorf, in Christ's Holy Name, to yield your power to the power of the Holy Father."
"In Christ I command you Mikau to remove your evil mask of deciet from your host."
"Midna, I command that you remove yourself from your host's shadow and return to your diabolic master, I command you in the name of Jesus!"
@ #943082
Hooray for Jay Bartlett, fighting the good fight since the demons of Tic-Tac-Toe defeated him at age thirtee.
I'm possessed with the Wii Sports demon. He doesn't suggests me much but, boy, does he makes my arm hurt.
Waiting someone to claim a Sonic possession, that would make him/her run real fast and steal rings from the passerbys.
Right, so where are my demons? I ought to have at least one!
Oh, that's right. Games are just interactive programs/stories, not tools of the devil. In your scenario we should have lots of kids with Tetris demons, right? Go back to hiding under your rock.
Are there any Starcraft and Flyff demons? Diablo goes without saying, but what about KOTOR, Doom and UT demons?
Well, if I happen to cross paths with a Resident Evil demon who looks like Milla Jovovich, she can have me whenever she wants.*pant, pant, pant*
Does this mean the ET:The extra terrestrial is satan?
Or because its so shit, jesus?
If thats the case then the Arcanum:Of steamworks and magickal obscura demon is the fucken devil. And man what a cool fucken price o' darkness he is.
Ya ever notice how these so-called demons are wussy little shits that run screaming from the first asshat babbling Fundie that comes along? I mean, what's the fucking point? A basket of kittens would put up more fight, and I have scars to prove it!
"I'm speshul! I expel demons! Why do only stoopid people believe me?"
I hear a great new drinking song!
182 demons in there,
(Athar)Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magickal Obscura demon is the fuckin' devil. And, man, what a cool fuckin' prince o' darkness he is."
Oh, HELL yeah! It really is too bad, though, that he never begat any offspring (read: no sequels).
Prove it!
You can't. It's only your word, trying to make a name for yourself among fundies fools - and probably passing the plate around too.
I call all demon busting a fraud unless you can produce hard evidence.
Sadly, during my Evangelical Christian days, I knew people that were caught up in this type of `Deliverance Ministry`. I even went to their church several times. During the `Deliverance`, the pastor would pass out plastic bag lined ice cream buckets for people to vomit into. As I watched this stupidity, I found myself needing to use my bucket, not because of demons, but because it was so disgusting watching 50 people all puking into ice cream buckets.
The sad thing was, that these people had been convinced that they needed on-going deliverance, and were hooked into this. They would go back, week after week, totally convinced that God was delivering them. Yet, their lives displayed no such healing whatsoever. They continued in whatever neurosis they displayed before, and in many of them, it got worse.
2 people in 1 day finished all the zelda serie...
No kidding, it's the worst "finally-I-can't-stop-playing-because-they-are-so-good-games" pretext ever.
In the name of all the West Wing fans in the universe, I demand that you change your name so it is not disconcertingly similar to that of the Best President We Never Had.
That, and you're a loony. Wonder what he'd say if there was Silent Hill involved? "Begone, ye Pyramid Head!" Like PHead would listen...
Hey, I wouldn't mind having Leon Kennedy inside me.
...
Okay, that was creepy, sorry.
holding unto? Stop talking like you're living inside the KJV. And how much money did it take to get all those demons out, I wonder?
I spy with my little eye something that begins with fuckhead.
I must be possessed by the Devil May Cry demon, since I'm trying to replay all the games!
If I'm posessed.... I DO NOT WANT TO BE DELIVERED! *clutches controller defensively*
Just tonight Elizabeth and I dealt with 182 Zelda spirits (Zelda is a video game) within a young lady. In fact, he was holding unto the games she had played--Resident Evil, Warcraft I, II, III, Witchdrobe, D & D, and others.
Look, if you didn't have a Paladin or Cleric in your D&D party to handle things like that, that's your fault. It's standard party building, noob.
Nothing else could possibly disprove christism more than this kind of delusional reaction to popular culture...
Where are the 'rap music' demons at though?
Zelda?...come-on really?
Retards...a new one is born every minute...
@aaa I thought I did answer your question... You only asked me if I'd played the CD-I games and I said no, they don't count. I don't see how that isn't answering the question. Sorry, I'm just a little confused. I've seen videos of the CD-I games on YouTube but never IRL.
Also am I the only person here who loves Majora's Mask?
.....I'm.....Playing Pokemeon right now.
(*I named my PILUP Nuregami.)
-bathes in Shinx blood- Moooore....MOORE!
I call shens. 8-bit zelda, with one bit reserved for the sign, gives a max of 127 demons, bwehehehe.
Sez who? You need to be able to excorcise them, therefore you need a negative number to get zero? ;-p
Allahovazus can count his demons backwards to infinity! Twice over!
These people have got to be delusional. This is pretty amazing though. One poe is annoying enough since you can't z-target them, but 182? Wow.
...and MM was my favorite!
I have played Zelda for hours, but no spirits, either benevolent or evil, showed themselves. My husband has played hours and hours of different computer games, and he has never seen any spirits. Could it be that you, who are used to imaginary friends, see imaginary beings at the wink of an eye?
Children should be monitored at the computer, at least 'til the age of eight or nine. If they do something you would not condone before that, maybe you shouldn't use the computer as baby sitter? Idiot!
OH MAH DAWG, I R BEEN PUSESSED BAH ZELDUH GAEMS!
I seriously can't believe people actually go through this kind of bullshit. :|
PROTIP: Unlike DOOM, there are no 'demon' characters in Resident Evil, just zombies that were humans infected by the T-Virus, mutations of such, and those created as a result of experiments by the Umbrella Corporation. [/geek]
...but then, like RE's & Konami's Silent Hill's, even those in id Software's DOOM games don't actually exist. They're merely the graphic representations of 0s & 1s in a computer.
Computer games =/= Real Life.
Reality. You should try it sometime, Jay. It won't kill you. Pun may or may not be intended.
He was almost a Jill Sandwich!
But seriously blaming Videogames for possesing kids and teaching satanism and shit?
Thats been done >.<
Edit: The threads even worse >.< x2
Incidentally, this week marks the 25th anniversary of the release of the original NES. Time to get the ol' Demon Box out and fire it up, in commemoration. ;)
Sadly, I didn't much like Majora's Mask, but I played the shit out of Ocarina of Time.
Hey guys its okay, Mr. Bartlet here was having a massive orgy with Hitler and Mussolini while I penetrated his ass. Bartlet is just mad that he wasnt the one that was giving instead of receiving!
Besides we have a massive Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword Marathon on November 20th in Salem, Just cut your wrists and scream that you want your arse ripped apart by the lord of hell himself.
Lucifer aka Satan
Wait... What? Was Ghirahim creeping on young children again? And you said "young lady", then he, then she. Make up your mind. I'm assuming you mean she had nightmares. When I was a kid, I had nightmares of the moon crashing into the earth in three days after playing Majora's Mask. And after I played Skyward Sword as an adult, I had nightmares about Ghirahim. Last, you mention her being five when she was playing Zelda. Uh, those games may be a bit advanced for a five-year-old. The newer ones for the Wii require decent hand-eye coordination (More than a five year old usually has), and also require a basic reading ability. I must give you credit if you still have a Super Nintendo and NES lying around. But even those are difficult. But Zelda, evil? Come on, man.
image
Ooh, androgynous Hylians fighting evil with sometimes annoying sidekicks. How scary.
You know, as soon as a the new Zelda game for the Wii U comes out, I'm bundling that game and a brand, shiny new Wii U and sending it to your house. Better yet, why not just send Ghirahim himself to your house?
image
Muahaha!
Shit man, that's nothing. I've still got a couple dozen Jill of the Jungle demons I haven't managed to exorcise yet.
If only I'd played Onesimus instead, eh?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.
