“You're not hearing me right. I'd make sure she's destroyed the moment she tries to leave me.”
Let her know that up front, okay?
I mean, that’s a real good reason to leave you all by itself.
"Before we'd even start dating I'd make her do a porn with a horse or a dog,”
How?
That’s just mind boggling.
I mean, i can KIND of imagine some instagram princess who sells her bottled farts online having this sort of dating-application-screening process, and getting away with it. She’s just so hot that men are begging for the chance to drag their dick through glass or crush eggs with their butt cheeks or whatever she demands.
But there’s no way your dick is big enough to command this sort of performance before dating. And it’s clearly to generate blackmail material.
So the only way it’s ever going to work is if she’s always been kind of curious about dogs/horses and needs an excuse. After which, she doesn’t need you.
I think this would be my new definition of chutzpah.
“I'd have all her credit card numbers,”
My wife doesn’t even have all my credit card numbers. ANd if i were to leave her, I’d change them ,anyway.
“I'd know all about her tiniest details.”
It’s called stalking, not dating.
“It sucks, but no other way to keep a modern woman.”
Yep, that’s what i want. A woman who’d fuck a dog for me AND hates me, but is afraid to leave my side because… DESTRUCTION.
You’ll be lying there, choking on dinner, and she won’t pat your back until you give her the disk with the revenge porn on it.
Or bleeding, and she wont’ call the ambulance without all your passwords….
"However, that's just another hypothetical scenario.”
You don’t say.
“They're not capable for relationships anyway.”
You’ve got a… idiosyncratic definition of ‘relationship,’ buddy.
