Colonel-Knight-Rider #racist deviantart.com

[Not the complete work. Just the, ahem, “highlights”.]

[…]

In Missouri, my mother found the public education system was clearly flawed, as evidenced by the Montessori preschool model, so homeschooling became our choice of education from grades K-8. With that, my brother and I gradually became conscious of persistent politically liberal bias and racial discrimination against Caucasians in education, so we developed strong rebuttals to incorrect assumptions and overgeneralizations of political conservatives and Caucasians like us. While our parents emphasized education with minimal time for many (but not all) of the films, TV series, and video games that many of my peers love (and every summer was spent studying something!), we received a rich cultural knowledge from all decades preceding 2000. In adulthood, though, we have increased our knowledge of 21st century popular culture thanks to Web searching and being more actively involved in reading the news. Altogether, we two brothers were raised to succeed and to think deeply about life.

As time passed, I learned more and more of the legacy of my mother’s father, a renaissance man in whose honor I was named. He proposed to his future wife the first of two times at age 10 […] and he had Herculean strength that let him balance people on one hand. Most of all, he saw good in everything and everyone, something I aspire to do even when faced with the fiercest of adversaries.

[…] The San Francisco Bay Area was where I spent my elementary and most of my middle school years. There, I attended various homeschool “park days” and made some acquaintances, but I wish I had more social skills to make lasting friends—come to think of it, some of them needed social skills improvement, too.

The family moved up to the Seattle Area in September 2005 for 8th grade through high school. I discovered the power of distance learning, which I found was like homeschooling with remotely submittable homework. At a homeschool co-op, where I attended extracurricular classes, I met Stephanie, an aspiring impressionist painter whom I assumed would be the love of my life until six years later, when I learned I’d been accidentally convinced that her family didn’t drink alcohol when they did (but I learned not to raise my expectations in women too high, so that was good). In 2007, I met another girl whom I assumed would be the love of my life—Jana, a possible incarnate angel (not an incarnate winged humanoid but an incarnate thought from God) who encouraged me to pursue singing on stage—until I chose to email Stephanie more frequently over her (regrettably! ^^;) and we lost touch.

[…]

At about age 9, I watched the film Super Mario Bros., loosely based upon the eponymous video game series, and believed it my destiny to remake the commercial and critical failure, confident that my work would succeed.

At age 16, I saw 2008’s attempt to reboot Glen A. Larson’s classic 1982-86 TV series Knight Rider and became fascinated with the idea of having a hyper-competent automobile for a sidekick. Since I’ve always loved the idea of suits of armor as symbols of protection and strength, I pictured an actual, armored Medieval knight inside a talking car, and the image of superhero “Captain Knight Rider” was born. I soon after changed the name to “Colonel Knight Rider” after watching an episode of the classic period sitcom Hogan's Heroes, whose main character happens to be named Colonel Robert E. Hogan (Bob Crane), because I felt “Captain” was an overused title for costumed vigilantes. Until I volunteered to help out with the Webcomic Nash & Friends, this image was nothing more than an abstract concept in my head. He had no defined world, personality, friends, or enemies for years.

[…]

Today, I’m a young accountant who consults with a startup where my father acts as CFO, and I have a contract accounting job with a customer base relations aid company that may become a full-time position—if God decides it's a good match, of course.

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Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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