[A world without white people?...]
Suddenly there was a blast of cold wind, an explosion, and a huge smoke cloud. When the smoke had settled, George found himself alone and lost in a cold open field.
An angel named Clarence then appeared to him and said “Well George, you’ve got your wish.”
George asked: “Where am I? What’s going on here? And who are you?”
The angel answered, “George, I’m Clarence the Angel. I was sent here to show you what the world would have been like if Europeans, or Whites, had never existed. You now live in a world where Europeans never existed.”
“Oh. That’s cool. I’ll have no problem adapting because there’s not a racist bone in my body. And when I get back to my world, I’ll be able to tell my professor and my friends how great this non-racist world was. Say, I’m freezing my ass off out here. Where’s the nearest motel?”
“Motel?” replied the angel. “There are no motels here in what was once called North America. But there are some caves up in those mountains where you can find shelter.”
“Caves? No way, man. I want a nice warm bed to sleep in.”
“I don’t think you understand George. There are no buildings here in non-white America because the evil Europeans never came here to build them. Whites never existed, remember? The natives live in tents. Would you like to go meet some local Indians? Perhaps they’ll let you stay in a tent.”
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“There are no guns for you to defend yourself with. Firearms were invented by evil Europeans. Though, we could make a spear with those twigs over there—”
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“Air-conditioner?” replied the angel. “There are no air-conditioners here. Air conditioning and refrigeration were inventions created by evil White men.”
“What?!! You mean to tell me that in the year 2008 these people still haven’t figured out a way to keep themselves or their food cool?” a frustrated George asked.
“No George, they haven’t. And they never will.”
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By morning time, Clarence and George had arrived at the temple of the Incans. A bloody human sacrifice was in progress. George turned to Clarence and cried, “They’re going to butcher that poor soul! Somebody has got to stop this. What horrible murdering beasts! Can’t anyone stop them?”
The angel replied “I’m afraid not. Ritual killings are common place here.” Those evil European racists like Columbus, Cortez and Pizzaro never existed so the Incans just continued their brutal ways. In fact, it was the oppressed peoples themselves who made up the bulk of the Spanish armed forces. The people saw the Spaniards as liberators who would rid them of the oppressive Incan and Mayan rulers and give them a better life.”
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George said: “Take me to Africa, maybe there’s a more advanced and humane civilization there that I can fit into."
When they arrived in Africa, George saw thousands of half-naked African tribesmen being herded along a dirt path. They were guarded by other Africans with spears. “What are they doing to those poor men?” George asked Clarence.
“They are being enslaved by another tribe. Slavery was common in Africa long before the whites arrived,” Clarence said. “In fact, most of the slaves who were shipped to the Americas were sold to the slave traders by African tribal leaders.”
“That’s so sad,” George said. “I want to meet Martin Luther King. Since his White assassin never existed, this great man should still be alive. He’s probably a great tribal chief somewhere and leader of an advanced civilization. He will free these slaves from their African masters. Take me to him, Clarence.”
George was led to the dingy little hut of the tribal witchdoctor and spiritual leader. There he saw a wild-looking man with a necklace of teeth around his neck and a huge ring pierced through his nose. “What the hell is that?” George asked.
“Meet Witch-doctor Matunbo Lutamba Kinga” Clarence said. He never became Reverend Martin Luther King because there were no universities or seminaries built to educate him. Europeans weren’t there to create such opportunities. But he did become the tribe’s spiritual leader. He specializes in casting evil spells. Perhaps he can help you?”