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Pastor Roger Jimenez #fundie #homophobia

And look, no normal, natural, hair-legged man thinks it’s anywhere near normal to go to bed with another man. It’s unnatural. It’s not normal.

You say, “Well, do you think that sodomites are pedophiles?”

Yeah, I do.

You say, “Well, you, weren’t you sad when they died in Orlando?”

No, I’m not sad when pedophiles and rapists die! It doesn’t break - I don’t shed a tear over it!

“Why”, you say, “why?”

Because I know what they do. Because I know what they can produce.

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David Wolfe #psychoceramics

Chocolate lines up planetarily with the sun. Chocolate is an octave of sun energy. In fact, it's the energy of the center of the sun. It's a male energy that comes down off the sun. And it, and it... actually, out of all the plants, the cacao is right on line target the center of the sun, which we call, in our body, the heart, and actually, cacao is right up with the center of the sun, which is the center of the heart, which is called the sacred heart. So that cacao is hitting that frequency of the sacred heart.

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Kent Hovind #fundie

Wait, wait, wait. "Apart from believing that the earth is only 6,000 years old"? Mr. Nelson, 6,000 is a long time. Long time. George Washington was president two hundred and, what, fifteen years ago? Columbus was driving around trying to find this place 500 years ago. The vikings were running around beating up on folks 1,000 years ago. What do you mean only 6,000? 6,000's a long time! Long time! Just because you believe in long ago and far away fairy tale millions of years stuff, that doesn't make it true. But stop saying only 6,000. Why don't you say, "God created the world 6,000 years ago! Whoa!"?

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Pastor Steven Anderson #fundie #homophobia

If you keep reading that Sodom and Gomorrah story every year of your life, you’d think eventually it’s gonna sink in! You’d think if they just read Romans 1 thirty more times, it’s gonna sink in! But they don’t care about the truth! They don’t care what God’s word says! They don’t care about the victims! They don’t care about their children! All they care about is their own safety because they’re afraid of being persecuted! Bring on the persecution, because I’m not gonna pander to this faggot agenda!

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Pastor Adam Fannin #fundie

You know, the Bible has several standards for clothing, for hair, for music, the men and the women's roles, the place of a child (a child should not be ruling the house), for pastors. You know, pastors have a requirement. You know, there's a bunch of churches around here like that one I was talking about where they get divorced, and the wife stays, and she says, "We'll, I'll just become the pastor. I've been here since the beginning." Uh, OK, we'll the Bible's very clear that a woman should not usurp authority over a man. A woman should not be preaching across the pulpit. Ladies can teach children. Ladies can teach other ladies, and we'll look at that. But ladies don't teach men. Men need to teach in the church.

And there's a requirement to be a pastor of the church. You can't be divorced. You have to have multiple children. And the fake churches will not obey God's standard. No divorced pastor is blameless. The husband of one wife. The husband of one wife. "So, Brother Fannin, I'm divorced, does that mean I can't preach?" No, it doesn't. It means you can't be the shepherd. It means you can't be the pastor. It means you can't hold the office of a deacon. But everything else in here is something you can do. There are things in here you can do, and the pastor's not the only position. There's a lot of work to be done here. There's a lot of people that need help with things. There's men jumping up to get the door. "Oh hey, somebody needs a Bible. Hey, somebody needs to start printing a bulletin in here." [Gesturing to someone in the congregation] This man has a full plate. He needs some help. Some people need to stand up and say, "I'll help. What can I do to help? I want this church to last, and I don't want you to get burned out." He is here in Pastor Romero's stead right now, and he is doing everything he can to make sure this church works, but you guys need to get in on it also. He needs some help; he needs some support; his family needs some prayer. It's up to you guys whether this church makes it or not. It really is; it's up to the people, and we're old-fashioned, and we're gonna do it God's way. Blameless, husband of one wife.

Vigilant! "Oh, you're a homo? Sorry, not welcome here. Take a hike."

Sober! Sober! No drunkenness in the church! Church correction! The bible says if somebody's in drunkenness, they should be kicked out of the church. The bible says if somebody's in fornication, they should be kicked out of the church. We're gonna do it God's way. Don't just justify drunkenness like all the other fake churches, and woe unto them for doing that. Woe unto them for doing that.

It says one that ruleth well his own house having his children in subjection with all gravity. He's saying you must have children to be a pastor. There's that other big church in town here. "Well, it's all right. He's done the work for years. He can just be a pastor." Uh, but what about what God said? Are you trying to bring the curse of God on this church? There's believers in the church! And they're gonna elevate a man that doesn't meet the requirements of a pastor? God's not gonna bless that. And of course, what's he gonna do? "Well, maybe the King James isn't so important. It's OK if the dykes come in and the homos come in. We're gonna have a little rock and roll. Let's get more buses, you know, and less hard preaching. No more soul-winning; that doesn't work." Yeah, the guy's probably not even saved. For if a man not know how to rule his own house, how should he take care of the church of God?

You know, the hair standards in I Corinthians chapter 11; it says a man ought to have short hair, and a woman ought to have long hair. That's God's standard. You tell that to somebody, "Oh, you're being hateful." Well, I'm just telling you what God said. I'm just telling you what God said. And you shouldn't hate me for saying it, but unfortunately, the world doesn't understand that. We in here are without excuse. We in here are without excuse. Honestly, if there were a man in here that understood these principles and he had his hair down to his butt, I'd say, "Dude, why are you living in sin?" If there was a woman in here that said, "Well, I can do whatever... all my friends, they chopped it up to here [gesturing to the top of his head], and they made it this purple-silverish color. I'm gonna do that." I'd say, "Why are you in rebellion? You know what God's commanded! I Corinthians 11, read it!"

The clothing! You know, the Bible says that your thigh is your nakedness. The Bible also says your chest is your nakedness. The Bible's teaching that from your neck to your knee should be covered up, and only shared with your husband or wife. That goes for men too. Men, you shouldn't be swimming with your shirt off. Ladies, you need to cover your nakedness. That's God's commandment. Don't break his commandment! That's the way it oughta be. "Well, that's old-fashioned". Hey, amen! Yeah it is! It's a sin to show it off; it doesn't belong to anybody else but your husband. And men, it's the same way. Don't wear shorts that show your thigh. That's wicked. That's not right with God.

Look here in Deuteronomy 22. Look at verse number 5. "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God." Do you hear what that says? Listen, I bring this up for a reason, because I grew up IFB, and I rarely heard this verse. I grew up IFB, seeing families that grew up conservative, and the ladies dress like ladies, and the men dress like gentlemen, and then, they got tired of church, and they fell out of church, and they started dressing like the world. And they didn't know this verse. Their principle, their foundation, was not on the word of God. We're reading this verse because we're gonna have a foundation based on the word of God. God says here that if a man comes walking in in a skirt, that's an abomination. "What are you wearing? That's disgusting!" "Well, what about the Irish?" Let's not talk about that. Let's not go... what the kilts and all, I mean there was some bad things there anyway. Go to Titus chapter 2. But he says, "A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man." "Are you telling me that my wife needs to wear skirts all the time?" No, I'm not. God is! God is! God says a woman oughta dress like a woman, and she ought to be a lady. And if she has a problem in her heart with that, that is rebellion against God's commandment. "Boy, that's so old-fashioned; you're not gonna get people around here." Well, I'm not trying to get people. I'm trying to lay a foundation that will last forever. And it's not pretty sometimes. Dresses and skirts on ladies please God. But rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. "Well, what about all my friends? They all wear yoga pants all the time." That's wicked as hell! You oughta tell them it's wicked! You oughta tell them it's obscene! "What if my family thinks I'm weird because now I just wear dresses and skirts?" Hey, dresses and skirts are classy. That makes a lady look classy. Don't look trashy, like you just came from the yoga gym. "What if my family thinks I'm weird?" Hey, what about the father in heaven that commanded you; don't you wanna please him? Don't you wanna do what he said? Don't think about your family; don't think about your friends; don't think about your investment in your closet. Think about breaking God's law. Think about having a rebellious heart against what God has said. Get your heart right. That's God's commandments. He gave it to you for a reason. Do not disobey.

God wants the gender roles to be separated. God wants it to be distinguishable what a lady is and what a man is. He wants it to be clear. He came to bring division for our own good, and we don't get that some time. He's commanded men to work. In I Timothy 5, he says, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." Worse than an infidel! Dad, if you sit at home, and you don't work, and you send mom off, you're a bum! You're a deadbeat! Your worse than an infidel! You act worse than the heathen! You're breaking God's law! He's not happy with that. The flipside of the coin, here in Titus chapter 2. Titus chapter 2. Look at verse number 4: "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," verse 5, "To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good," listen to this, "obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Mom, if you're rebellious, you might as well cuss at the Bible, because God said for you to obey your husband. God said, "Mom, you should stay home and take care of the kids. Dad, you need to go to work." That's his perfect plan. Dad, don't act like an infidel. Mom, don't make the word of God blasphemed by being disobedient.

[All throughout this talk, members (mostly male) of the congregation can be heard voicing their agreement.]

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Pastor Adam Fannin #fundie

And in trying to warn their son about the perverts out there... "Well, public school's good enough, and he can train himself, and I don't have time; I'm busy working all the time."

And I used the word "fag", and it offended them.

"*gasp* We don't use the F-word".

"Well, you sure do use the other F-word a whole lot around your son!" And I can't warn them about the molesters? Talk about a double standard! If I were using the other F-Word they wouldn't have had any problem with it! They would've been right there with me!

"Oh, you're calling out the queers, *gasp*! I have friends, I have coworkers!"

"Well, that's not my problem! I don't hang out with molesters."

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Pastor Adam Fannin #fundie

There's this church down the road, and even before this church was planted here in Oklahoma City, this church came up as a recommended livestream for me down in Florida: Beth Haven Baptist Church. I don't know anything about this guy; he comes up as a recommended livestream... Well, who's this? Let's click on this guy. "Oh, if you just repent of all your sins and make him the lord of your life, you can be saved." I'm like, "That's lordship salvation! This guy's a heretic! He's a devil!" This guy Rick Carter preaches a false gospel; he's right down the road from you. "Oh, but he's Baptist, brother. He's conservative; he's one of us." No he isn't! Look, we're surrounded by churches that are Baptist in name only. We are an old-fashioned Baptist church because we believe what God said, that salvation is a free gift. It's by the grace of God; he's given us the opportunity to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ as our savior, as our God, and then now that you're saved, yes, you oughta get the sin outta your life. This Rick Carter, this heretic, preaches that you have to repent of your sins to be saved. He is not saved. And they got the building program, and they're blowing up. Hey, curse that church. God is not part of it.

[Many members of the congregation can be heard voicing strong agreement throughout this spiel]

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John Piper #fundie

When the planes flew into the towers in New York, and I was interviewed, and people would ask me, "Where was God in this?" and I said, "Well, God could've very easily blown those planes off-course by a little puff of wind, and he didn't do it. Therefore, God was right there, ordaining that this happen, because he could've stopped it just like that", and everybody who believes in God should say that because that's how powerful he is, and Jesus said the wind obeys him, and so just a simple wind by the command of Jesus would've blown those planes away, and they would've crashed, and 60 people would've died instead of thousands of people. But he didn't do that.

Why is it comforting to believe that? And the answer is, because there are 10,000 orphans who wonder if they have a future. Will they have a future if God isn't powerful for them? I'm coming to those families, and I'm saying, when they ask me, "Do you think God ordained the death of my daddy?" I'd say "Yes. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. But the very power by which God governs all evils enables him to govern your life, and he has total authority to turn this and every other evil in your life for your everlasting good, and that's your only hope in this world and in the next, and therefore, if you sacrifice the sovereignty of God in order to get him off the hook in the death of your daddy, you sacrifice everything. You don't want to go there."

The sovereignty of God, while creating problems for his involvement in sin and evil, is the very rock-solid foundation that enables us to carry on in life. Where would we turn if we didn't have a God to help us deal with the very evils that he has ordained come into our lives? So yes, absolutely, I believe in the sovereignty of God, and I believe in its comforting effects.

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Kent Hovind #fundie

There is nothing about science that has anything to do with evolution. Stop associating the two here. And improving our understanding of reality, I am in favor of that. Evolution is a hindrance to science. Evolution hasn't improved our understanding of reality in any branch of science. You don't need to know anything about Charlie Darwin to understand about physics and launch a rocket to the moon. You don't need to understand anything to learn about...

No doctor on the planet who does surgery thinks about evolution. He'd better know his muscles and his tendons and his bones and what to cut and what not to cut. I don't care if the heart surgeon understands, is a Christian. He should be. And many heart surgeons are Christians and say "Wow, God designed this amazing heart!"

Here you are. This is the false equivalency. You're trying to say, "If you don't believe in evolution, you're against the advancement of science." This is ridiculous, Mr. Nelson. Let me help you here.

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Kent Hovind #fundie

I would say I readily believe all of the claims in the Bible because I think hundreds of them have been documented, have been verified. Can you show me something that has been proven wrong from the Bible? Has an archaeologist proven anything wrong? They've discovered, like, the Hittite civilization. The Bible talked about the Hittites. Nobody heard of the Hittites for hundreds of years and all of a sudden, bing, they find evidence of the Hittites. Whoa!

I think the "improbable claims", all of the claims that I'm aware of in the Bible that can be verified have been verified. Some are yet still future. You'll see. Watch your knees. Next time you wash your knees, think "These things are gonna bow before Jesus Christ." Yes, they are.

Questionable sources; insufficient evidence? I think there's overwhelming evidence that the Bible is true. Now if you choose not to believe it (which is obviously what you've done), OK. I choose to believe it. But it's not questionable sources on insufficient evidence. You're the fool here.

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Kent Hovind #fundie

My "childish misunderstanding"? Uh, Mr. Nelson, I think I understand very well that frogs produce frogs and cows produce cows, and there are no exceptions. And I understand and make real clear to people, no fossil counts. No fossil counts for anything in a court of law, in an honest court of law. When you find a fossil in the ground, all you can prove is it died. None of the fossils I have seen (and we've got a huge collection of them here), none of them have a date stamped on them, none of them talk. You put interpretation on them, but your interpretation is not part of the fact. The fact is, this comes from a critter that died. That's the fact. Now if you want to add more to that, you're welcome to of course, but that's no longer science. So there are no fossils that would count in an honest court of law; every fossil would be thrown out. You can't say, "this is intermediate between these two"; you don't know that! You don't know if that fossil had any children at all. How could you possibly prove that? This is where you guys run off on imagination like Spongebob.

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Kent Hovind #fundie

Evolution is a religion that people believe in. Nobody's ever seen a frog produce a non-frog or a cow produce a non-cow. You can believe it if you want (and you obviously do), but I don't think you understand what evolution really teaches. I show every night for the last 60-some nights, right from the textbooks, there was a big bang where nothing exploded and then earth cooled down, developed a hard rocky crust, and it turned into soup from the rain, and the soup came alive. That is all part of the evolution theory.

Now in the last 10 years when you guys' feet have been held to the fire, you've tried to narrow evolution down to variations within different animals. There's a whole lot more to it than that. I give six definitions and you're gonna show it in a minute, and my six divisions of that slippery word "evolution" are correct. I think you don't know anything about evolution. I think you believe a lot of things. You have a great faith; it's an admirable faith. But you don't know anything about evolution.

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Bloodmane1987 #racist

Africans only respect ONE thing: A loaded gun in their face. I speak from experience as I tend to work in african countries regularly.
If you have africans in your country and are unarmed they see no reason to give you any respect.

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Keith Raniere and Allison Mack #fundie

Keith Raniere:

You know, different children have brains that myelinate at different rates. Part of the neurons, the functioning of the brain, if you will. It’s not like all children are born and their brains are in the exact same state and they can do the exact same things at the exact same time. And it’s not even in the exact same order!

But what really counts is where they are and what the next step is to help them go forward. And wherever they end up is the best that they can end up. You don’t want to want enlightenment for every child. That’s one step worse than you wanting it for yourself.

Allison Mack:

It’s like forced enlightenment.

Keith Raniere, sarcastically:

Yes exactly, I want you to be enlightened.

Allison Mack:
So, I just was curious: what do you see as the greatest limitation between men and women in their quest to relate to each other in a loving and compassionate way?

Keith Raniere:
Well, the biggest limitation that women have is that they’re women. And the greatest limitation men have is that they’re men.

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Sid Roth and guest #fundie

(clip from linked video from 0:12 to 2:14)

Guest: That's why we have a President right now from New York. It's no coincidence. People, you can hate it, if you want, but you're going to go against certain things that God has chosen to--to put his hand on. And watch--

Roth: But how do you handle the things he did before he was a believer in Jesus?

Guest: I--I only report the message.

Roth: By the way, I hope you caught what I just said: the things he did before he was a believer in Jesus. Praise God for the blood; because of the blood of the Lamb, I don't have a past! How about you?

Guest: Well, then, a lot of the people in the Bible should be disqualified. I think the key thing is what is God's plan now. God's plan is, and I've been prophesying this for years, Sid, that God would make America great, that happens to be their saying(?), 2020 God's going to make America greater. Again. 2024 they're gonna say God has made America greatest again. This isn't going away.

New York City--the reason why--9/11, our nation was pierced, this nation's never been the same, the nations of the Earth have never been the same. God is trying to reestablish a blood right. It's no coincidence the President is from New York, that's where the towers fell. He also is part of Trump Tower, towers fell, he was part of world trade, World Trade Center, because God is revisiting this nation to establish a blood right. Whoever gets the blood right gets the legal right to rule.

Why do we have rights as Christians to bind and loose? Because of the blood right that Jesus provided. But Jesus' blood, it brought something, it brought glory, because after he was crucified and his blood was shed the Holy Spirit was poured out. This is more than just about who's President. It's about a blood right being established by God so that his glory can come.

The enemy was working real hard to get the blood right. That's why he wants to keep boarding children. That's why he wants to continue its agenda, so that it has the legal right to rule and to push the Church out. God is coming. Nobody is gonna remove his Church. Nobody's gonna stand against the Church that he is raising up.

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Shane #fundie

(Shane is in a call with Matt Dillahunty and Tracie Harris on The Atheist Experience)

(Note: I have linked the full episode, starting where this snippet starts, for context if desired. A shorter version, containing only this, can be found here:

Shane: Why is God so immoral?

Tracie: I don't know. Why don't you ask him? I would love to know why he's so freaking immoral.

Matt: I don't think that God exists, but if we're talking about the God character in the Bible, as God is represented--

Tracie: As he's written, it's horrible.

Matt: --it's a pretty horrible, jealous, angry being that advocates slavery. I don't know why he's that way, maybe he's just a dick.

Tracie: I said to somebody earlier today that you either have a God who sends child rapists to rape children or you have a God who simply watches it and says, When you're done, I'm going to punish you.

Shane: The child rape doesn't make you mad? I mean, do you hear about that and get angry? Yes or no?

Matt: What?

Tracie: Do you get angry when you hear about a child rapist?

Matt: Yes.

Shane: Well, so why shouldn't God get mad when he hears about evil in this world? Tell me that.

Matt: If there was a God and he heard about evil in this world, I think he should get mad.

Tracie: Well here's the thing, though, if I were in a situation where I could stop a child rapist, I would. That's the difference between me and your God.

Matt: Yeah.

Shane: Sorry, say that again?

Tracie: If I could stop a person from raping a child, I would. That's the difference between me and your God. He watches and says, "I'm shutting the door, and you go ahead and rape that child, and when you're done, I'm gonna punish you." If I did that, people would think I was a freakin' monster.

Matt: Yup.

Shane: First of all, you portrayed that little girl as someone who's innocent, she's just as evil as--

Tracie: Oh, I was thinking it was a little boy, so...

Matt: (hangs up) Bye.

Tracie: So, children deserve to get raped, there's your--

Matt: Goodbye. Goodbye, you piece of shit!

Tracie: And I would like to just say that, well, let me just say, I was raised in a different Christianity, and it was a better one.

Matt: Yeah. You know what, I was a better Christian than you when I was a Christian, and I still am.

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Kerecsen #fundie

[Lyrics of song titled "What do you say, Brussels?"]

I speak Hungarian, and my skin is white
What do you say, Brussels?
Look how brave I am, got a WOMAN for wife
What do you say, Brussels?
This is my curved cucumber, that’s my fat pig
What do you say, Brussels?
I brew my own liquor, a burning spirit
What do you say, Brussels?
Get turned on by girls and laugh in my sorrow
What do you say, Brussels?
Make the sign of the cross and turn to shoot my arrow
What do you say, Brussels?
Wearing my boots for a long-long time
What do you say, Brussels?
The neighbor is still drinking my wine
What do you say, Brussels?
Lost cause, PC reality, not so cool
A faded, gray rainbow
Idiots staring, barking at the moon
Better switch channel, Bro!
Watching the News, it’s brutal, it works
What do you say, Brussels?
Getting educated (threatened) by frustrated jerks
Hey, don’t play with fire
All sorts of people pouring in, in the meanwhile
What do you say, Brussels?
A failed magic trick, the apprentice is drunk
What do you say, Brussels?

Poe-tests Too Much Award

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Andrew Caldwell #fundie

I'm not gay no more, I am delivered!

I don't like men no more! I said I like women! Women women women women women women!

I said women! I'm not gay! I will not date a man! I will not carry a purse! I will not put on makeup! I will! I will! Love...a woman.

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Rapture Angel #fundie

demons can cause depression (JESUS CHRIST did exorcisms on 'crazy' people and cured them 2,000 years ago), cancer (Pastor Derek Prince who was an exorcist, had an exorcism done on him and got rid of cancer), arthritis (Pastor Derek Prince cured several people at once of arthritis by doing an exorcism on them), etc. PRAYING IS VERY POWERFUL, PEOPLE NEED TO STAY CLOSE TO GOD AND OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST! The 144,000 are here!?

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Mike Arthut #conspiracy

Some is Lying. The Truth WILL BE told. NASA messed up. Things do not add up. Can you agree NASA HAS LIED? One point is the 700 telemetry tapes, "lost"? That would be proof in itself. Can you agree there is NO CURVATURE? That means FLAT EARTH. We need a in-depth interview with astro-nots, concerning this matter. Also, the nest, photo -op, ISIS space broadcast., I would like to see them wearing NO SHIRT. PROVING, no harness is used to portray weightlessness. We can start from there.

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Rev. Steven Anderson #fundie

And God says, "A man is someone who pisses against a wall." ... And you say, "Ah, you're being vile." I'm not being vile. God's the one who wrote the Bible...We got pastors that pee sitting down. We got the president of the United States who probably pees sitting down. ... The editors of the NIV pee sitting down. The editors of the New King James all pee sitting down. I'm gonna tell you something. I will never pee sitting down.