I have been lucky. I haven’t had a coontact in quite a while, but today broke my lucky streak. I decided to ride along with some co-workers for lunch. We had to take a 4 lane highway in order to get to the restaurant. I was a rear seat passenger in the vehicle, enjoying the ride, when I noticed we were approaching a newer VW Jetta sedan in the right lane ahead. It had its left turn signal on, but it wasn’t merging into the left lane. It was just cruising up the road, slowing down traffic, left turn signal on for miles, confusing everyone who was passing it. I would guess, most people assumed it was going to come over into the left lane at any moment.

As we got closer, I noticed the left fender was crumpled in, as if it had sideswiped a guardrail or something. Being a newer car, most responsible humans with insurance get body damage fixed as soon as possible. I take pride in my vehicle’s appearance. It is over 15 years old, but I keep it repaired and clean. As we begin to pass the vehicle, it all made sense. I looked over and saw a coal black, skinny dreadlock nigger buck driving the car, oblivious to its surroundings. It had the driver seat reclined back to where the headrest was level with the bottom of the windows. It was talking on its sail foam, probably setting up its next dope deal or muh-dik. We passed it without issue. I continued to watch it. It never turned its signal off or merged into the left lane.

After we had passed it, I felt a profound sense of sorrow for the little car. When it rolled off the assembly line, it had dreams of being cared for and enjoyed by humans. Maybe a human couple would get it as their first car. Maybe a human parent would buy it for their child.

It did not know its lifespan was going to be cut short by it becoming a nigger’s hooptie. It will be the unwilling participant in many dope deals and drive bys. It will have to haul uncounted sheboons around the projects, have dozens of purple dranks, Hennessy, and malt likka spilled on its carpet, thousands of blunts smoked in it until the interior is stained brown, and endure endless trips to KFC and Red Lobster, with the greasy paws of nigglets and turdlers all over its seats, until finally, cruel fate finally grants it a merciful release from its horrible existence and it is either abandoned by the side of the road, or hauled off to the junkyard from the projects. Niggers don’t need to operate motor vehicles. It endangers everyone else on the road.