As long as the hashtag “#racist” still appears in the top results when people search for my public display name, I figured I should take the liberty of explaining why this is not true. At the risk of being harassed yet again by the stranger who’s been monitoring my every move since June, these are the major reasons why I’m #notracist.

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2. I call Jordan Peele’s Get Out the most racist comedy (emphasis on comedy) I’ve ever seen because it’s a Stepford Wives ripoff that presents a nonexistent and very peculiar dichotomy between African American culture and white American culture. I laughed my lungs out the whole way through because of that.
3. Speaking of which, while the Oscars were once biased against African Americans, I believe they’re now biased against white Americans, especially given the nature of last year’s Best Picture nominations. As it says in one of my favorite MLK memes ever: “Don’t be racist against blacks. Don’t be racist against whites. It’s not complicated, people!” Sadly, the United States has a long history of polar extremes at each other’s throats.
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5. I have multiracial and multinational fantasy voiceover casts in my Nintendo Cinematic Universe fanfiction movie plot summary journals not because of their national origins or skin colors but because I believe they can best capture their assigned characters’ personalities.
6. Even if I were prejudiced against Russians, which I’m not, I still wouldn’t technically be racist because Russian is NOT a race. It’s one of many cultural expressions of the white race. Cultural prejudice would be a more accurate term. Nevertheless, calling the folks who steal DeviantArt accounts and replace all their content with bogus porn site links Russian and saying that they perpetuate negative stereotypes of Russians does not make me culturally prejudiced against Russians. I’m simply condemning the crooks for making peaceable Russians, which I acknowledge make up most of the country’s populace, look bad. Every color, culture, and creed in the world has a majority of law-abiding people and a small percent of crooks. My father once said that, to every stereotype, there is a tiny kernel of truth. Therefore, stereotypes are those tiny kernels of truth blown to obscene proportions.

[After that it either repeats itself or goes on long rants about the readership here at FSTDT which I didn’t include so as to avoid going to tl;dr. Feel free to look at it yourself.]