I often find myself in the spirit realm to reveal the truth about it to the masses. There are many levels of hell as each soul is treated completely fairly and get exactly what they deserve, no more, no less. True Justice. Most souls who are condemned to a hellish existence, are limited to rooms or houses and cannot come or go anywhere else. Thus "haunted houses" are actually souls doomed to torture by boredom. I have even witnessed souls doomed to an eternal bowling alley, or a laundry room.
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The bowling lanes are warped, and there are only, LANE BALLS! The shoes are mismatched, and the only beer they have is......Bud Light! Muh-hah-hah! And it is always Midnight Bowling, so be prepared to listen to BON JOVI, all night! Haw-haw-haw-ha!
Oh shit. That bowling lane is where I bowl. I kind of had a feeling it was just another level to hell. They didn't even have mustard for their hot dogs! How could I have not known? I guess the strobe-lights and mirror ball were too dazzling for me, they blinded me to the TRUE JUSTICE!
@Vyoma
I wouldn't call this woman a fundie so much as a loony. She thinks that SHE is the second coming of Christ.
Hmmmm, if we all chip in and come up with 30 pieces of silver, can we get a legion of soldiers to nail her?
"I often find myself in the spirit realm to reveal the truth about it to the masses."
Is that after a bottle of that paint-remover you call wine or does entry into the "spirit realm" require those special 'shrooms?
"There are many levels of hell as each soul is treated completely fairly and get exactly what they deserve, no more, no less."
So, regardless of their sins, the fair punishment is eternal torment in a lake of fire?
"True Justice."
True justice and hell are completely unrelated.
"Most souls who are condemned to a hellish existence, are limited to rooms or houses and cannot come or go anywhere else. Thus "haunted houses" are actually souls doomed to torture by boredom. I have even witnessed souls doomed to an eternal bowling alley, or a laundry room."
So, Jesus, who supposedly created hell, was lying about that lake of fire thing?
Haunted houses, haunted bowling alleys, haunted laundry rooms? I'm betting your "spirit realm" is the result of BOTH too much alcohol and 'shrooms.
From her site:
"Again we looked up, and another angel came and delivered another soul. This time it was a little girl, about nine or ten years old. She was dressed in a lacy white dress with white socks and paten-leather shoes. I was horrified that a child was brought here. The angel told me that she had murdered her dad with an ax. He had been molesting her and she grabbed an ax and defended herself, but had been terminally injured in the struggle. They said her dad also died in the conflict and was in this hell somewhere.
[...]
A child in hell, bothered me for quite awhile, but the angels assured me that she had been quite evil and deserving her fate, for our Father would never be unjust to anyone and everything would be justified in this spiritual realm."
Their god is such an unbelievably cruel asshole. Maybe if he hadn't been spending all his time resurrecting plants , he could have saved the girl from molestation before she took matters into her own hands.
I checked this out. All I can say is that I am reminded of some "brown acid" I was warned about, but took anyway. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
Mushrooms will get you there, too, and are much more mellow.
MK has an excellent point. Why don't we have a three-axis, 3D projected scale? X axis for fundieness, Y axis for conspiracy paranoia, Z axis for general stupidity/insanity/inhumanity.
I think this site needs TWO ratings for posts - one the Fundie scale, another for the Loony scale.
Seconded.
Thirded!
fourthed!
From this poor freak's site:
Perplexed and all alone, I decided to relax in a warm tub. Sinking into the water, an unseen spirit of huge dimensions lifted me out of the water about two feet and began screaming at me. He claimed that I was Eve and I was the cause of all the horror in the world. He said he was baptizing me as he was filled with rage and kept dunking me in the tub. Paralyzed in fear, I could only apologize for these accusations and begged forgiveness as I thought it was God, for who else could so much power?
@Dante's Virgil
Sounds like Dante's Inferno writ mediocre. Where's the whirlwind for illicit lovers? Where's the river of ice? I was sort of hoping for a more exciting end to things. Now it seems, I'll just be going to work everyday...
Ah yes, the parable of 'superannuation' - I forget what you guys call it. I still am amazed how many fundies are as self scentred and myopic about the whole affair as to view it as bad.
For the wise man, duly put aside 10% of his earnings, pre taxation, and was rewarded with early retirement, a beautiful shed for his woodworking hobby, fishing trips in the mountains and a world tour with his wife.
The fool, squandered all his savings on tracts and Dr Dino videos, and was still a washroom attendant at 80 and living in the squalor of public housing.
"Perplexed and all alone, I decided to relax in a warm tub. Sinking into the water, an unseen spirit of huge dimensions lifted me out of the water about two feet and began screaming at me. He claimed that I was Eve and I was the cause of all the horror in the world. He said he was baptizing me as he was filled with rage and kept dunking me in the tub. Paralyzed in fear, I could only apologize for these accusations and begged forgiveness as I thought it was God, for who else could so much power?"
Did someone forget to take their medicine today?
It sounds like some bad fanfic.
Actually, I've travelled to the spirit realm myself. You don't need any drugs for it. You do need a mushroom, but you don't need to ingest it. Oh, and you also need a spirit guide. (I'm partial to the water guide, myself.) Admittedly, the dream world is somewhat nebulous and poorly done.
...Wait, you mean DW was being serious about this? :O
(Here's a cookie for anyone who gets the reference above.)
image
Jodie #57942:
This woman needs to be commited to an asylum and drugged until she cannot spew anymore crap from her mouth.
STILL MORE ?
After browsing her site, I've come to the conclusion that this woman is clinically insane. Not only does she believe that she is the reincarnation of Christ, she also believes she is the reincarnation of Eve. She thinks money is an evil creation of the antichrist, and that any form of sex other than procreation is a sin, which is a lie. Sex isn't just for reproduction. According to the Bible itself, sex is also something shared between a man and a woman, symbolizing their loving connection and their bond. Sounds like this wierdo needs to lay off the sauce.
okay, that's it! i'll let the maid do the laundry for me...btw, if there are many levels of hell as you claim, could you take me to B13? ~_~...and lastly, who wants to be tortured by boredom (like going on the church for straight 24hours?)~_~
W00t!!
Who's going to join me at my Bowling Alley From Hell?
Free Beer! (But it's always warm. Sorry, but you know -shrug- this is Hell after all.)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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